Bubble heart
by Bottled green
Summary: Hisoka's chase after Chrollo yields no results. He's bored and will stop at nothing in order not to be, and after running into Gon, Killua and Kurapika, he finds himself in an unexpected predicament. Everybody needs someone to care about them – even Hisoka. I realize stories involving OCs are an acquired taste, but I'll be happy if you give it a try.
1. Moonlit

**A/N:** _This is my first story in a long time, and the other one I posted years ago is still unfinished, although it will be, soon._

 _The story is set after the end of 2011 anime, so you can encounter some minor spoilers if you haven't watched the whole thing. I've read the 2016 manga chapters too – my story will sometimes incorporate the developments presented there and sometimes it will deviate a bit; I will not be including the Dark Continent storyline though._

 _All characters, with the exception of my OC, belong to Yoshihiro Togashi, whom I greatly admire for bringing them to life. I wish him all the best, and especially good health to finish his great story! I hope I can do his characters justice, and make it an enjoyable read for some of you._

 _On to the story._

 _Edit April 2017: When reviewing the story stats I noticed many people check chapter one, but there are less views for the subsequent chapters. If you give a chance to chapter 2 as well, I hope you won't be disappointed._

 **Moonlit**

The moon hung low above a forest clearing, its full face illuminating multiple figures moving fast, contradicting the serenity of the moonlight with their violent moves.

 _That's it, Illumi finally lost it_ , thought Killua, vowing never to use the word 'illuminate' again as he fended off several skilled attackers controlled by his brother's needles. Each of them – Killua, Gon and Kurapika - were in a similar situation now, facing multiple opponents. Illumi may have lost it, but he came prepared.

 _I told you before, little brother, you don't need friends. Friends will betray you. Time to stop this senseless adventure of yours before you get hurt, and come home._

Illumi's words still rang in Killua's ears as he did his best to gain the upper hand against the men attacking him relentlessly; their skill didn't match his, but they had the advantage in numbers. He couldn't believe his brother tried to pull the same number on him, still bent on showing him the right Zoldyck way.

After he and Gon had gone their separate ways, Killua travelled the world with Alluka; he'd had a lot of fun, but he missed his friends. So when he left Alluka home, after spending considerable time fixing her relationship with their family and entrusting her to Canary, he wanted nothing more than to see Gon, Kurapika and Leorio again. All of them were happy to agree to spend a weekend together, with exception of Leorio, who, still finishing his studies at the university, informed them he had recently bought out a house in the country with his university mentor where they were now busy organizing a clinic.

This was supposed to be a carefree time for the three of them reminding themselves how to be teenagers and have fun. Towards the end of the weekend, they meant to visit Leorio, whose newly opened clinic was not that far from where they were staying. And so they had had fun, at least until Illumi decided to show up and try to whisk his beloved little brother away, fueled by his misguided, smothering love.

"Give it up, Kil." Illumi's emotionless voice brought the boy back to reality.

"No!" shouted Killua, his voice angry and defiant, "I'm not going with you! I'm not leaving Gon and Kurapika!"

"Oh?" Illumi's brows arched above his huge, dark eyes, "Simple enough. I'll just have to kill them, won't I?"

The bushes behind Killua's back rustled and he heard unhurried steps; he quickly jumped to the side in case the newcomer was another of Illumi's puppets.

"Ooooh, kill them? I told you once before what would happen if you try to kill Gon."

A new voice sounded before Killua regained his stance, and his eyes widened. He knew this voice. He hated this voice. But now, he loved it, realizing that Illumi ignored a very volatile, violent, red haired variable in his plan.

"Hisoka." Illumi didn't seem surprised. "Do not interfere."

"Oh?" Killua glanced at the magician, who appeared deep in thought, his long fingers covering his mouth and his chin.

"Mhhhmmmmm…." hummed Hisoka, flexing his fingers, "…not going to happen, my dear Illumi."

 _Yes!_ Killua cheered in his mind. If somebody told him a mere hour ago he'd be happy to see Hisoka, he'd punch them. Now, the magician appeared out of the blue when they needed help, just as he did several times in the past. Hisoka had flawless timing, Killua grudgingly admitted to himself. The younger Zoldyck had no illusions about the situation; he knew the magician would expect something in return, but now was not the time to worry about it.

Hisoka strode through the battlefield at a leisurely pace, casually throwing his cards at the opponents blocking his way to the older Zoldyck assassin.

"I was really bored… so I followed you, my dear friend." He said, his voice bearing a distinctive mocking quality, "There's only one person that makes you lose your cool and stop being mindful of your surroundings. And that person usually happens to be accompanied by my favorite fruit…" he winked at Gon.

"I waited to see how the situation unfolds, being a curious individual that I am," he continued, "But I can't let you pick my fruits before they ripen, I'm sure you understand that, hmmm, Illumi?"

"So," Hisoka stopped and made a mock salute towards Illumi with a card, "Today I'll satisfy my curiosity by fighting you. I have wanted to, for a long while…" he finished with a smile.

Illumi didn't reply; he struck immediately, but Hisoka was too fast to be taken by surprise. Both men were moving almost too fast for the eye to follow; in a blurred flurry of movements, cards and needles cut through the night air. Killua watched in awe, the magician and the manipulator almost breaking his concentration to the point when he barely dodged the next attack from one of Illumi's puppets. The young hunter knew that although Hisoka was effectively helping them, all of them needed to be extra careful not to get in the way of the tornado made of speed, strength and ambition that now only paid attention to the strong opponent in front of him, not sparing a moment's thought to any collateral damage he might cause.

Illumi launched another flurry of his deadly needles, and Hisoka jumped out of the way inhumanly fast, no doubt using his bungee gum that he must have attached to one of the trees; Killua noticed the magician still managed to parry the attack with his own barrage of cards. One of the projectiles hit Illumi's cheek, leaving a bloody mark, and Killua had to admit that even though he was far from liking Hisoka, he had to admire his strength. His brother was the one who taught Killua how to fight, and he knew better than anyone that Illumi was not an easy opponent, but Hisoka didn't seem fazed, he was clearly enjoying himself. At this point, Kurapika, Gon and Killua disabled most of Illumi's puppets and Killua was able to watch the fight in more detail.

He and Gon needed a lot of practice and experience to reach the level those two were at. If somebody had asked him before what the outcome of a fight between Illumi and Hisoka could be, he'd probably bet on his brother, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. He knew Illumi's prowess, but he had a nagging suspicion he has not seen Hisoka's full abilities yet.

As in answer to his thoughts, Hisoka spun around fast, stretching his arms wide in response to Illumi's attack. At first, Killua wasn't sure what was happening, not until Illumi's needles suddenly flew right back at him with even stronger force, bounced back with Hisoka's bungee gum. Killua was immediately reminded of the time when Hisoka, he and Gon faced off against Razor during the infamous Greed Island dodge ball match, and how Hisoka used Razor's strength against him to end the match in their favor. At this moment he already knew who would emerge victorious. Illumi managed to dodge many of his own projectiles, but not all. Several needles hit his body full force, throwing him against a nearby tree. Hisoka didn't waste time; he jumped towards Illumi, and plunged his fist into the assassin's gut. The older Zoldyck choked as blood spurted from his mouth, and the magician's lips widened in a maniacal grin. Hisoka wasn't unscathed himself, bleeding from several wounds, some of them appearing to be quite deep, but he didn't seem bothered by it.

"Well," he said, "This has been fun, Illumi. We should do it again sometime in the future, hmmm?"

Killua watched in awe, and noticed Gon was approaching Hisoka from behind, surely feeling curious. Killua frowned; something was wrong, Gon… he was too quiet. Gon had a strange connection to Hisoka that Killua didn't like, and he would be bouncing all around the place, his habitual logorrhea kicking in. Killua's eyes suddenly widened in understanding.

"Hisoka…!" he yelled, but it was too late.

Illumi's huge, dark eyes widened, and the man who was not Gon hit the magician's head with both of his hands, sending him on the ground. Hisoka's reflexes still allowed him to throw a card that embedded itself in the impostor's forehead, but the damage was already done. Hisoka writhed on the ground, his body tensing up.

As Killua ran towards Hisoka and his brother, he saw two more of Illumi's puppets emerging from the tree line. Before he reached them the two men picked Illumi up and retreated. His brother must have been hurt badly, but Killua couldn't bring himself to care. Kurapika and Gon were at his side now, watching Hisoka's trembling form, each of the three teenagers analyzing the situation in his own way.

Killua was angry at his brother, but anger never made him lose his temper. He wasn't aware that now Illumi was able to change somebody else's appearance, not only his own, and the fact that his brother, being already that strong, kept adding new abilities to his repertoire was daunting. Killua was sure Illumi had been planning to use the puppet somehow to ensure his victory over him, and that is why he made it look like Gon, that is why he kept it hidden until he was forced to use it. He got the resemblance perfectly, down to the aura, and used it against the magician, knowing he would not bother to turn away sensing Gon's approach. Although he knew that without Hisoka's help, he likely would have been taken by his brother, Killua still fought the resentment towards the man, mainly for considering him a bad influence on Gon. He was tempted to just leave him there, but he knew the other two would not agree.

Kurapika had mixed feelings. His relationship with Hisoka was business-like, give and take. He wasn't overly fond of the man, but remembered that he helped him during his attempt at the revenge on the Phantom Troupe, even if he did it for his own, selfish reasons. Now, he helped them out, and Kurapika wouldn't leave him there without returning the favor. He quickly analyzed the situation; the solution was surprisingly easy.

Gon was shocked. To him, Hisoka was indestructible. He wasn't sure what was the exact nature of his feelings towards the magician, he just knew that Hisoka inspired him and pushed him to be strong. He also understood Hisoka's need to constantly test himself again strong opponents, knowing firsthand the heady rush of adrenaline that made him feel alive in such situations. Gon remembered fighting Hisoka, and how much he loved it, even knowing he didn't really stand a chance against him yet. Hisoka, in his own way, was one of the first people to show real interest in Gon, and the boy had to admit he liked his attention. Gon was also furious with Killua's brother, for using somebody who looked just like him to hurt Hisoka. His hands clenching angrily. He wasn't sure what he felt towards Hisoka, but he was sure he didn't want him to be in pain. Not like this.

"What should we do, Kurapika?" Gon sounded distressed.

"We have to help him!" Gon turned to his best friend next, his eyes pleading, and Killua was reminded yet again that his friend and the magician shared a strange bond, one he did not like or approve of. Still, there was nothing he wouldn't do for his best friend, so he'd accept that.

Kurapika replied immediately.

"Leorio's our best chance of helping him. We need a car." He said.

Killua nodded.

"I'll get us one."

Barely fifteen minutes later, Killua parked a car on the road leading to the clearing.

Kurapika frowned.

"How did you get it so fast?" he asked.

"Well, I…"

Kurapika shook his head and sighed.

"You nicked it, didn't you?"

Killua shrugged. "Yes. But don't worry," he reassured the older teen, "I'm going to put it right where I found it, I promise."

The Kuruta shook his head again.

"Fine," he said, "Now we just need to figure out how to pack him in the car…"

The three of them looked at Hisoka, before Gon tried approaching him. A minute later, he was sporting a bleeding lip and several bruises as Hisoka made it clear he didn't want to be touched.

It was Killua's turn to sigh.

"Gon," he said, "Distract him." Gon nodded and approached Hisoka again, doing his best to dodge long, flailing arms and cards flying in all directions.

Killua crouched from behind, silently hoping that the magician's senses were dulled enough by pain for him to execute what he had in mind without losing a limb. He took a deep breath and, using the distraction created by Gon, threw both of his yo-yo's, wrapping the reinforced cord around the magician to prevent him from moving.

Hisoka threw his head back and screamed, his eyes wide and unseeing, and Killua understood that whatever Illumi did to him, he never wanted to experience himself. The magician's face was contorted in pain and his body was shaking. Killua gathered his aura into his hand, and delivered a precise blow to Hisoka's neck, rendering him unconscious and thanking his lucky star that he managed to restrain him earlier, or else he'd end up badly hurt himself.

The three friends hauled the magician into the car. Kurapika took the wheel while Gon and Killua sat on the back seat with Hisoka between them to prevent him from moving in case he woke up.


	2. Pine and Incense

**Pine and Incense**

The hour-long drive to Leorio's clinic was one of the tensest experiences that Gon and Killua have ever been subjected to. Both of them were on their toes, expecting Hisoka to wake up any minute, break out of his bonds and start flailing uncontrollably in the confines of the small car. They both sighed in relief when Kurapika parked in front of a two story house. They hauled Hisoka out of the car and half carried, half dragged him towards the entrance, Kurapika running ahead to alert Leorio.

Kurapika knocked on the door and was soon greeted by the doctor in training.

"Kurapika?" Leorio sounded surprised, but pleased to see his friend. "I thought all of you were supposed to arrive tomorrow?"

Kurapika just shook his head and pointed to Gon and Killua dragging the unconscious magician. Leorio's eyebrows furrowed.

"Do I even want to know?" he sighed.

"Leorio!" Gon sounded relieved seeing their friend. "We were having fun, and then Illumi appeared and wanted to take Killua home, and he didn't want to go, and then we fought, and it was bad, and Hisoka appeared and he got hurt, and he wouldn't let us near him, and then Killua helped me restrain him, and we got the car and…"

Killua sighed, seeing Leorio's baffled expression. Some things never changed.

"We were in trouble. Hisoka helped us. He got hurt. We want to help him." he translated.

The doctor groaned and shook his head in disbelief.

"Just take him inside." He stepped aside, motioning for them to enter the house.

They dragged Hisoka inside, following Leorio, who showed them into the room closest to the entrance. This was the precise moment Hisoka chose to regain consciousness; he screamed, his body tensing up again. Gon and Killua jumped back, knowing what would likely happen. They were right; Hisoka screamed, a wordless sound resembling a howl of a wounded animal, his arms straining against the unwanted confines that they boys put him in. In a desperate attempt to be rid of the restraints, the magician pushed out his aura and the cords almost snapped. Killua's eyes widened in understanding; if Hisoka had any strength left and tried that again, they would break.

Before Killua could react, Gon ran towards Hisoka. He outstretched his arms, trying to calm down the magician and failing miserably.

"Hisoka…" he pleaded, "We want to help you…" The magician snarled, launched himself in Gon's direction and missed him by a fraction only thanks to his exhaustion and the boy's quick reflexes.

"We brought you to a doctor!" exclaimed Gon, undeterred, trying to grab Hisoka's shoulders, "He'll help you!"

"Get this… off of me… Now." Hisoka's breathing was irregular, and his voice sounded distorted, commanding, different to his usual lazy, playful tone.

Kurapika noticed a woman who ran into the room, pausing briefly to assess what was happening. She appeared to be very young, in her early twenties perhaps, long, dark brown hair tied in a loose ponytail, and Kurapika's brows furrowed. It would be logical to assume this was Leorio's university mentor, yet she looked younger than his friend. Like Leorio, she was wearing glasses, black frames bigger than Leorio's shades. She looked at Leorio, mouthing something to him. She readjusted her glasses, and then walked towards the shivering magician.

"Does she have a death wish?!" hissed Killua, trying to get to the reckless woman before Hisoka could hurt her, only to be stopped by Leorio who shook his head.

"Let her." His voice was calm, although he did not feel it. However, he learned to trust his friend. And after all, Hisoka was bound. "She knows what she's doing. And we're all here to help her if need be."

Hisoka threw his head back and screamed once more, desperately trying to gather any aura he had left to break his bonds, and failing.

"Get this… off… of me…" he pleaded quietly, breathing heavily, his head lowered. He stumbled but managed to regain his posture.

The woman stopped at a small distance from the magician. She looked at Gon.

"Why is he bound?" she asked, her voice calm.

Both Gon and Hisoka froze for a moment, the former in surprise, the latter doing his best to calculate, analyze, and finding it difficult due to the pain.

"Untie him." The woman's voice was absolutely calm, but carried a steely note of someone who was used to being obeyed.

Killua was the first to protest.

"No! He is…"

"…my patient." She cut in quickly. When she saw no one acknowledged her request, she came closer to the magician.

"What's your name?" she asked quietly.

Hisoka didn't answer; he stood still, his head tilted to one side. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"It's Hisoka." Gon chipped in.

The woman nodded.

"Hisoka." She said, "I'm not going to hurt you. I need to get closer to see how I can help. I'll untie you, OK?"

He stayed silent for a while, but eventually nodded.

"Fine." Before any of the others could react, she approached Hisoka and started to untie Killua's ropes. "There." She said as the ropes fell to the floor, aware of the sudden tension in the room.

"Let me see, hmmm?" she asked, and when Hisoka remained silent and motionless, she inspected the visible wounds in a quick, professional manner. She looked into Hisoka's eyes, and her brow furrowed. She moved her hand to touch his head. Hisoka's reaction was quick; a long hand shot out and grabbed her by the throat. To Killua's surprise, the doctor didn't do what he expected her to, that is cry and scream or try to hit the one who attacked her. Instead, she gently wrapped her fingers around the magician's wrist as her other hand moved along his arm in a slow, soothing motion.

Killua's eyes widened in shock.

"What the hell is she doing?!" Once again, Leorio's firm grip on his wrist stopped him from running towards the bizarre scene unfolding in front of them.

The magician froze, his glazed eyes widening, head tilting to one side in a movement akin to that of a wild animal faced with something it doesn't understand. His nostrils widened as he inhaled deeply again.

"I'm sorry." Said the doctor, "I should have asked your permission. Let go, please."

To Killua's further surprise, as the woman's fingers kept touching his arm, Hisoka let go of her throat, his hands falling limp to his sides.

The doctor looked behind her, and moved her head slowly, motioning Gon to back away. Her face was calm and the boy immediately understood what she meant. Gon obeyed, a little surprised. She looked young; yet she exuded a feeling of confidence that calmed him down. For some reason, her posture and behavior seemed familiar to him.

She fully shifted her attention back to the bloodied man in front of her, and inched closer to him. After a while, Hisoka slumped against the wall, as though his body lost all its strength. Kurapika could see Leorio's friend whispering something, but he couldn't hear the words. It was a bizarre sight; this slim woman, looking so petite in front of Hisoka, whose back was bent at a strange angle, his fingers twitching in random spasms.

After a while she stepped away slowly, and then extended her hand. Hisoka's hand moved, then stopped halfway, but eventually his long, pale fingers entwined with her smaller ones. The woman looked in Leorio's direction and mouthed his name. He nodded, and followed her as she led Hisoka out of the room.

For a moment, nobody spoke, until eventually Gon couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?"

Kurapika scratched his head, his eyes pensive before he answered.

"This has to be Leorio's university mentor." He said, "She must be quite an amazing doctor."

Gon looked at him, not understanding. "Did she hypnotize him or something?"

Kurapika smiled.

"Remember that story you told me, the one of a little foxbear whose mother was killed by Kite to protect you?"

Gon nodded, still not getting Kurapika's meaning.

"You said it was scared and tried to hurt you when you wanted to help it. What did you do?"

"I held it close, even when it tried to bite and claw me! I comforted it and it finally calmed down! Then I took it home with me!" Gon beamed as he finally understood, realizing why the woman's behavior seemed familiar.

"See? Not so difficult to understand after all." Said Kurapika.

Gon's brows suddenly furrowed.

"But Kurapika, Hisoka is not an animal. And I don't think Leorio's friend would like to keep him at her home. And I've never seen him scared of anything."

"Me neither." Admitted the older teen, trying to stifle a chuckle watching Gon's reactions and his direct parallels. "But he is hurt, and disoriented."

Gon seemed to accept the explanation, but Killua didn't seem convinced, having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that there was somebody in this world crazy enough to touch Hisoka willingly.

"Comfort him? That's it? If that's all it takes, why didn't you try that?" he asked, skeptical.

Kurapika shrugged.

"It never occurred to me until I saw her do it. If it was that easy, anybody could do this." He hesitated, "Well, we probably never would since we know what he's capable of… But I am guessing she only saw someone in need. Violent, angry, but in need of help. That's just how doctors are…" he didn't finish his sentence, his eyes losing focus, a small smile on his face. Gon and Killua looked at one another and shrugged.

* * *

In the exam room Hisoka was sitting on the table, analyzing what has just transpired. The pain had been unbearable; and while he was used to pain, and often enjoyed it on his own terms, what he was feeling mere minutes ago was a far cry from a pleasurable experience. His head was pounding, and he was trying to find comfort in hurting anything and anyone that got too close to him.

Back in the other room, when he felt a new presence close to him, his first instinct was to defend himself. But this time there was no shouting, no trying to hold him down and force him to submit. Hisoka loved making others submit to him, but he would never do it himself. When the doctor started to untie him, he thought that she was either stupid, or very confident. It hurt when she touched his head, and he reacted instinctively, but wasn't trying to hurt her. When instead of force he met with a delicate, comforting touch, he froze, not knowing what to do at first. He felt no hesitation in the touch of small, cool fingers that felt surprisingly soothing. The voice and touch were distinctly feminine. The scent however… Pine resin and needles, incense, and something he could not put his finger on, perhaps moss or lichen; it felt cold, airy, dark, dry, detached, not a scent that he would normally associate with femininity, yet strangely unique, alluring. He liked it; and it gave him something to concentrate on when trying to ignore the pain.

There weren't many things that surprised or shocked Hisoka, but the simple act of kindness he'd just experienced did. He wasn't used to kindness, it was alien to him. He had difficulty showing kindness to others even when he wanted to, and in turn he couldn't remember when was the last time that he was on the receiving end of it. And so when the stranger touched his arm to soothe him more, for a few seconds he was too surprised to do anything. She didn't say much, but he still remembered.

 _I know it hurts, even more than you let on. You can't see very well now, can you? Don't get so tense… I won't tell. I'm going to step away now. Take my hand, OK? I'll take you to the exam room so I can fix this. Will you let me?_

How did she know? Hisoka was no longer shocked, but what she said piqued his interest and his pain muddled brain decided to let her lead him out of the room. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but the loss of vision scared him, and he hated the idea of being helpless. His head hurt badly; he couldn't see or concentrate, and there were only two things he was able to register: the scent he liked, and the words: I can fix this.

In the exam room, she asked him if he would let her inject him with painkillers. Understanding how to handle him seemed effortless for her, so he played along. At first only to be rid of the pain. When the painkillers kicked in, not only did his aura begin to return, but also he was able to think more clearly and became curious.

A silent conversation disrupted his musing and his head moved, following the sound of light footsteps. He sensed her approach, a subtle wave of this enticing, cold scent announcing her presence, making him wonder how she looked like, the one who wore a scent like this, the one who said she could fix him.

"How did you know about my eyes?" he asked, curious.

He couldn't see her smile, but it was almost palpable when she responded.

"Your pupils were dilated and barely responsive. And that moment when you grabbed my throat… you were trying to press a specific point on my carotid artery to render me unconscious. You missed, not by much though. You wouldn't normally miss, would you?"

Hisoka's mouth twisted in a small smile. The doctor was very perceptive; how interesting.

She didn't wait for him to confirm her suspicions. She knew she was right.

Hisoka heard a metallic sound. "I'll cut your shirt open to move it out of the way."

"Oh, but I really like it..." he replied, still smiling.

Hisoka had already noticed before she had a nice voice; fitting for a doctor, he mused – a soothing alto with a deep, dark timbre; it was curious how the voice harmonized with the scent. Now, the change in that timbre was subtle, but with his current heightened senses it was easy for him to notice a decisive, steely quality in it.

"Very soon you're going to develop a high fever." She announced in a cold, professional manner while cutting his shirt open and removing it. "There's soil in your wounds and most likely they already got infected. I'd rather we were done stitching you up by then, so I can still take care of your eyes."

Hisoka's face twisted in a fake pout.

"Fine. Have it your way, little pine…" He replied, referring to her scent. He couldn't help it; despite the situation he wanted to make the best out of this opportunity to enjoy himself. The hands on his chest stopped for a while before resuming their methodical movements. She understood the reference, just as he hoped she would.

 _Not one for nicknames, are you, little pine?_

"Lie down." was all she said.

There it was again, this careful, soothing touch of cool fingers. She placed one of her hands on the back of Hisoka's neck and the other on his chest, helping him lie down.

"Leorio," she said, donning a pair of gloves, "help me stitch him up, please."

"Hisoka." Interjected the magician, his lips curving in yet another little, mischievous smile.

"Hisoka." She agreed, and proceeded to clean his wounds and apply anesthetics before she and Leorio could work on stitching them.

"And you are…?"

"Aada. Now let us work."

Hisoka concentrated on what he could perceive without the use of his sight – touch. He didn't feel pain when Aada and Leorio were stitching him up – just a slight pull of the surgical thread. He could tell which of them worked on which wound by the way they were doing it. Leorio was quite proficient, but still a bit hesitant. Aada was different – her fingers moved very fast, methodically, with a calm, controlled energy that comes not only from experience, but also inherent talent.

Suddenly, he thought of Machi – who was much faster, of course, but he still couldn't help but admire the doctor for her speed and precision that were not aided by nen. Machi… the analogy was pretty obvious, but it was curious he still thought of her from time to time. She was the only person he ever tried to spend more time with – not to fight her, but to be next to her, with her. He'd tried several times, only to meet with rejection and contempt. It had stung, but he never dwelled on past too much. Now, he briefly wondered what might have happened if he hadn't been rejected – and given he wasn't entirely sure what it was he wanted from Machi exactly, he quickly decided it probably was for the best. A waft of the resinous scent reached him again when Aada moved closer to work on a gash below his collarbone, pushing any thoughts of Machi aside. Past was past, and that's how it was supposed to be.

After half an hour of Aada and Leorio stitching him up however, Hisoka got restless. He started humming quietly and drumming his long nails on the exam table. He felt Aada's hand stop for a second, and then resume her work and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. Her hands didn't stop again even though Hisoka kept humming. Suddenly he felt a jab of the needle she was using and he gasped, surprised. It hurt a bit, but he didn't mind.

"You moved." Said Aada, her voice calm and indifferent.

Hisoka stifled a chuckle. If Aada looked up at this moment, she would see the wide smile of her patient that was anything but nice. She wasn't aware that the little choice she made would have a lasting effect; as she stitched Hisoka's flesh back together, she unwillingly managed to stitch his interest to her.

"There." Leorio said, sounding pleased with their handiwork.

"Mhhhmm." Aada hummed in agreement.

"Up," she said, helping Hisoka sit. "Let us have a look at your eyes."

"Hisoka." the magician reminded her, his trademark smirk back.

Aada shook her head impatiently.

"Fine, Hi-so-ka." she said, emphasizing every syllable and taking a small pause after enunciating each of them. "Let me see your eyes."

Behind her, Leorio froze. Hisoka's behavior immediately reminded him of the hunter's exam, when the magician started showing his unhealthy interest in Gon. He should have noticed sooner – Hisoka was acting suspiciously tame ever since Aada appeared in the picture. He had a bad feeling about this. With Gon, and even with the rest of their group to a certain degree, it was about fighting them one day. What could Hisoka want with Aada? She didn't know how to use nen. She wasn't a fighter.

Should he talk to Aada once they were out of Hisoka's earshot? It's not like he didn't want to help him. He was a doctor, not helping was against all that he was; besides, Hisoka had helped him and his friends more than once in the past – moved by his twisted motives, yes, but help he did. Leorio hoped once they've fixed him, the magician would simply get bored and disappear.

Aada beckoned Leorio to join her and gently placed her palms on either side of Hisoka's face, tilting it slightly upwards. Leorio took out a pocket flashlight to see the pupils' reaction. Aada looked too, carefully searching for anything that would explain Hisoka's condition, but she was getting slightly frustrated. She also couldn't help but notice that their patient had rather captivating eyes; his irises looked like molten gold, contrasting beautifully with black pupils that were barely responsive.

 _A pity_ , she thought.

Pity? Aada sighed quietly. She wasn't foolish. He may be acting harmless now, but Hisoka was dangerous; even with limited eyesight he moved with a fluid, predatory grace. She couldn't help but be impressed that in his present situation, he could still move around quite freely. When they were stitching him up, she could see and feel well defined muscles underneath his pale skin. She noticed faint outlines of many scars on him, barely visible due to his skin tone, wondering how he got all of them; after tonight, he'd be adding more to his collection. He reminded her of a snake, coiled and ready to attack even when he was seemingly calm, not to mention that if it wasn't for his temporary handicap, she would've stayed unconscious on the floor in the other room instead of doing her job. He missed the pressure point on her neck, but only by millimeters. Still, whatever he may be, Hisoka was now her patient, and she would do all she could to make him better, which at the moment meant finding out what was wrong with his eyes.

"Can you see anything at all? The light?" she asked him.

"Not really." He replied. "Only on the peripheries."

"Have you been sick recently? A cold, a flu?"

"No."

"When did the symptoms start?" Aada continued her interview.

Hisoka shrugged.

"A few hours ago, I guess."

"What were you doing?"

He smirked.

"Fighting somebody very interesting."

"And it happened during the fight? Where did you get hit?"

"My head, on both sides."

Aada nodded and started inspecting his head. Suddenly, she stopped and started raking her fingers through the crimson locks more carefully, touching Hisoka's scalp. Not one to pass up a perfect opportunity to tease the one who piqued his interest, Hisoka immediately perked up.

"Mmmm…" he purred, "Not that it doesn't feel nice, little pine, but what are you doing?"

Aada didn't take the bait, too preoccupied with her accidental discovery. She only wanted to make him stop talking and not disrupt her concentration when she was onto something. Not caring what she was doing, she briefly placed two fingers on Hisoka's lips, effectively shutting him up. One of Hisoka's eyebrows arched in surprise, but she didn't notice.

"Leorio, come see this…" Leorio bowed closer to see what Aada was trying to show him.

"Is this… a head of a needle?" she asked, both curious and thrilled.

At this moment, Hisoka understood. He should have known.

Leorio touched the tiny piece of metal that was indeed there and felt an almost insignificant spark. He activated his gyo and his suspicion was confirmed. The needle was emitting very faint, subtle waves of aura _._ With the amounts of nen whirling through Hisoka's body, it was no wonder this delicate aura was missed, smothered by his own. And it still would be, if not for Aada.

Aada immediately started feeling the other side of Hisoka's head and found identical needle embedded there.

"Leorio, can you remove them?" she asked. "I know it's one of these things you're better at."

Hisoka let her words sink in, savoring the new piece of information. So she knew about nen, even though apparently she wasn't a nen user herself. Usually, Hisoka wouldn't give a second thought to a person that wasn't a nen user – they were too fragile to provide an interesting fight; but to be honest, he had felt bored for a long time now, which made him pay more attention to the doctor than he normally would.

His chase for Chrollo yielded no results, and he ached for a challenge. Boredom was the reason why he followed Illumi and ended up helping Gon, Killua and Kurapika yet again; in this moment, although he was sure the little pine couldn't fight, boredom was gone, at least for now. Being perceptive, Aada must have felt the tension between him and the others and understood he was dangerous. Still, she showed no hesitation in helping him; she analyzed the situation quickly and eventually found the root cause of his predicament; she was respectful, but assertive, confident, she even comforted him – although that was most likely her second nature. Still, she was quite interesting. And that feeling when she kept carefully checking his head for more needles, raking her fingers through his hair, was… pleasurable.

His musings stopped as Leorio proceeded to carefully remove the needles using his own nen to pinpoint their angle, concentrating all of his efforts on not making more damage _._ Throughout the lengthy and delicate process,beads of sweat started rolling down his forehead. Finally Leorio straightened up and sighed, relieved. He was significantly better at using his nen abilities that in the past, but countering Illumi's contraptions took its toll. As soon as he saw the needle head, he knew it had been Killua's older brother who had placed them there; Killua had shared the story behind removing his own needle last time they spoke, giving Leorio even a bigger headache when thinking of just how wrongthe Zoldyck family dynamics was. But why would Illumi do this to Hisoka? They fought, yes, but weren't they allies of sorts? Suddenly Leorio felt even more exhausted and spent, and knew that soon he would sleep like a rock for many hours to come, recuperating.

"Sometimes I'm just so jealous of what you can do." Aada smiled, squeezing Leorio's arm. He smiled back, always happy to be praised by a person he liked and respected.

"Someone did a number on you, Hi-so-ka…" Aada allowed herself to be playful in emphasizing the syllables in the magician's name again, now that she knew they could fix him. "My guess is that these needles were pressing on your optic nerves, causing an effect similar to optic nerves inflammation. You were lucky – it was extremely precise, or else the damage might be permanent. You were experiencing a blurry vision at first, then sort of a grey film, weren't you?"

He nodded and she smiled happily.

"You're going to be fine. So interesting… I've never seen an optic nerve inflammation that was artificially induced, but your eyes should be back to normal quickly, and we won't have to use steroids."

"Now, we'll take you to bed." she added, briefly touching his forehead, "Your skin already feels feverish."

Hisoka wouldn't be himself if he didn't try to rile her up with a suggestive comeback, but suddenly he felt overcome with a wave of dizziness and groaned. He hated weakness. It felt like his mind was slowly getting wrapped in a thick layer of cotton as the painkillers were slowly wearing off and fever started creeping up on him; through the haze he could barely discern his doctors' voices as he felt himself being lifted by his arms and walked in a direction he did not register.


	3. The Red Book Cover

**The Red Book Cover**

"Your friend is going to be okay."

Gon, Killua and Kurapika all looked at Aada, who's just come to the room they were sitting in to deliver the news. She frowned seeing the expressions on their faces, something between a wince and a scowl. Definitely not what she'd expect from friends hearing good news.

"He's not our friend." said Killua firmly.

Aada's eyes narrowed a bit as she readjusted her glasses.

"Well," she said, "Even if he's not your friend, you were the ones who brought him here. And now, since Leorio is completely exhausted, one of you will be helping me with him."

"What?!" Killua seemed outraged at the idea but quickly became silent, seeing the doctor's kind, green eyes harden behind her lenses. Women could be so scary sometimes…

"I'll help you." Gon chipped in and got up.

"Gon!"

"Don't, Killua." said Gon. "She's right, we should help. It's our fault he ended up like that."

He turned to Aada. "What do you need me to do?"

"Come with me." She replied, choosing not to comment on what he'd just said. She was there to heal, not to judge other people's business.

Aada led Gon through the house, until they reached a small room in the far end of the corridor, where Hisoka lay in a bed, barely big enough to fit his tall frame. It was surreal for Gon to see the magician like that, motionless, unconscious, breathing heavily, his face shining with a film of sweat.

Aada sat on a chair next to the bed and motioned Gon to follow. He carefully sat on the bed, barely fitting in and feeling very uncomfortable. The doctor took a piece of clean cloth and doused it in cold water from a basin on the nightstand. She put it in Gon's hand, and guided it towards Hisoka's face. The boy's eyes widened, but he allowed the doctor to guide him, as she slowly used his hand to delicately wipe Hisoka's face, the star and the tear dissolving slowly in cool drops. Gon was surprised how different Hisoka looked without his trademark makeup, almost vulnerable, so… human. Aada moved her hand away and Gon looked at her, unsure what to do next. She smiled at him encouragingly.

"Douse it in water, and put it on his forehead, it will help him." She instructed. Gon did as he was told, still feeling rather strange. When he pressed the cold cloth to Hisoka's forehead, the magician's erratic breathing slowly calmed. The boy looked at the doctor, now smiling happily, knowing he did well.

"Now put one more on his neck, and one on his chest." she said and Gon followed to the letter.

"See? He's already feeling better." praised Aada, smiling at the boy, endeared by his behavior. "Now we just need to watch him until the fever breaks."

"Go have some rest, doctor." said Gon, "You look so tired… I'll watch him."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes." He replied, his voice firm, decision made.

She nodded. "Very well. I'll take a nap. I'll come to relieve you soon. Just change the cold compresses from time to time, okay? But if anything happens, call me. Leorio won't wake up now even if this house gets hit with a bomb."

Gon looked to the floor and blushed.

"I don't know your name." he mumbled. "Or where to find you."

Aada looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." She said, "I really must be tired. My name is Aada. Aada Holme." She extended her hand towards the boy, who took it and squeezed it gently.

"Gon Freecss."

"Nice to meet you, Gon." She nodded, "Leorio told me about you. If you need me, you'll find me two doors down the corridor, on the left."

* * *

Upon returning to her patient's room several hours later, Aada found Gon asleep in the chair, snoring lightly. Her eyes widened in surprise when she noticed he was holding Hisoka's hand, the man's slim, long fingers limp and contrasting with the boy's much smaller tanned ones that curled around them.

 _Not your friend, huh?_

She smiled; it was hard not to, seeing such a selfless act of kindness. Aada took a spare blanket and carefully tucked it around the boy, trying not to wake him. When doing that, she heard a pained moan from the bed.

Aada could see rapid movements of Hisoka's eyes under his eyelids, as his head moved erratically on the pillow. She frowned, worried, and touched his forehead. His fever was spiking, as she would often observe with her patients in the past – but it would break soon.

 _It WILL break,_ she reassured herself, her heart constricting when she heard another pained moan _. I can't go there,_ she thought, _I can't. He will be fine. It's just a few cuts. Nothing truly serious. He will be fine._ She rubbed her forehead tiredly, trying to keep memories at bay, but it was too late, a single tear a silent testament to unwanted thoughts.

Aada firmly shook her head, finding strength in this decisive movement, forcing her mind to calm down as she slowly rationalized the situation, an action she was now well trained in, having repeated it with most of her patients for the past year. Yes, there was an infection, but not much time has passed since it had developed. She disinfected the wounds properly, Leorio helped her put the stitches in, and their patient got proper medication in time too. His fever will break. He will be fine. Unlike… Even after all that time, often she couldn't bring herself to think his name, much less say it. She was feeling better now though and despite the sting brought about by recollecting past events, she felt calm and in control of the situation again.

Hisoka started trashing on the narrow bed again, as if unconsciously trying to contradict her. Aada slowly removed his hand from Gon's grasp, not wanting the sudden movements to wake the boy. Hisoka's fingers locked around her wrist in a vice grip, but relaxed slightly when she placed her other hand on top of his. She wanted to pry his fingers off but try as she may, she couldn't succeed; the sensation was really strange – it was a strong, reflexive grip, but his fingers felt like they were glued to her skin. No, it didn't feel quite like glue – rubber? A mix of both? Whenever she managed to pry one of his fingers off, which was difficult enough given the resistance, it would snap back right in the same place as soon as she let go of it, as if it was pulled back. She thought it probably had something to do with that energy Leorio was using sometimes, the one she could not see – nen. Hisoka could probably use it too, and had limited control over it in his feverish state, most likely having used it unconsciously. She got up slowly, reached for the compress with her free hand, doused it in cool water and placed it back on his forehead, then repeated the movements until all pieces of cloth were cool again.

Aada sighed tiredly. She was effectively chained to her troublesome patient; she looked around and decided she would have to sit on the floor. Gon, being much smaller than her, could sit on the bed next to Hisoka, but unfortunately she couldn't. Fortunately the mattress wasn't too far from the floor level, so at least her arm wouldn't be bent at an awkward angle. Hisoka's fingers tightened their hold on her wrist again, as he resumed his chaotic movements, his breathing uneven, long nails scratching her skin painfully.

"Hey, stop that…" Aada whispered, although she was aware he couldn't hear her. She placed her palm flat on his chest, trying to press him into the mattress and the touch seemed to calm him somewhat.

"Shhhhhh… sleep… you need it…" she soothed quietly, reaching to carefully stroke his hair, and his fingers finally relaxed a little, though not enough to let go of her wrist.

Although she suspected she would not succeed, Aada tried to pry them off again for a while and then sighed, feeling defeated. Come morning, her skin would likely be bruised and she would be stiff from sitting on the floor. Despite her current predicament, her lips curved in a small smile as she settled on the wooden panels next to the bed.

"You're so much trouble, Hi-so-ka…" she whispered.

* * *

Hisoka wanted to sleep more, but the damn sunlight wouldn't let him, trying to crawl under his eyelids. He opened his eyes, narrowing them immediately at the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. He tried to remember what happened, before sudden understanding hit him – he could see. The damned grey film was gone, along with the pounding headache. Memories were lazily returning as he moved his head to the right to look around the room he was in. What he saw was surprising at the very least – slumped on a chair next to the bed was Gon, already awake, although from the state of his crumpled clothes it looked like he had spent most of the night there.

The boy flashed a shy, unsure smile and placed his index finger against his lips in a silent plea for Hisoka to remain quiet, his other hand pointing to the floor. Only then did Hisoka realize that his right hand was clutching something and his eyes followed the direction indicated by Gon. Just like that, the final piece of the puzzle that was last night fell into place and Hisoka's mouth broke into a wide grin.

 _Good morning to you, little pine._

Aada was asleep, sitting on the floor next to his bed, her forehead on a makeshift pillow of her arm resting on bent knees, her face covered by dark hair that spilled from a loose ponytail over the night, her wrist still in Hisoka's grip. He noticed a tattoo covering her forearm, a serpent-entwined rod, the serpent's tongue reaching her palm in swirls of black ink as the tail curled around the elbow.

 _You're really dedicated to your work, aren't you?_

He must have been clutching at her wrist for hours, and he quickly realized that it was possible only because his bungee gum activated by itself in his unconscious state. was then that he remembered more, not even memories, more of a feeling. Quiet, calm voice, a hand stroking his hair in slow, soothing motions. He felt strange and his brow furrowed when he noticed bruises and shallow cuts on the skin of the doctor's wrist, for some indescribable reason not enjoying the knowledge that he was the one who caused them. In that uncharacteristic moment of reflection, his fingers twitched involuntarily, stiff from grabbing Aada's wrist for so long, his bungee gum released and her hand slipped from his grasp, hitting the floor and shocking Hisoka out of the unfamiliar mood and jolting Aada awake. She looked around drowsily, before her gaze focused on her bruised wrist.

"OH FINALLY!" she exclaimed, but then looked directly at Hisoka, looking slightly apologetic.

Back to his normal self, Hisoka observed her carefully, being able to see her properly for the first time. She was dressed in a pair of jeans that that looked pretty worn out and a simple black tank top. She looked young; her pale complexion was complimented by the strands of long hair, its dark brown colour bordering black. She had nicely shaped, dark eyebrows; the black frame of her rectangular, cat eye like glasses sat on the bridge of a straight nose, framing almond shaped green eyes that currently hosted a slightly troubled expression, long eyelashes brushing against the lenses as she blinked nervously. High cheekbones were now accentuated by a slight blush; full, plump lips over a narrow chin completed the heart shaped face. Hisoka's smile grew wider. He liked pretty things; after all, he paid much attention to his own appearance. He knew that teasing someone who matched his own intelligence would make his recovery time much more bearable, but his doctor's looks were an added bonus. He would enjoy this even more.

Aada's eyes widened, awkwardness giving way to happiness.

"You can see me!" she exclaimed and rushed towards Hisoka, trying to fit next to him on the narrow bed. "Let me see…"

She took Hisoka's face in her hands, tilting it slightly upwards so she could fully examine the pupils' reaction to light. As the remnants of the pine scent reached him, the magician looked her in the eyes, his gaze calculating, searching. She flushed, his gaze making her uncomfortable, and pushed her glasses back in a nervous gesture. It was not the look that she'd come to associate with her patients – usually full of gratefulness and sometimes even adoration; this particular patient looked positively predatory.

"Everything seems to be back to normal…" she said, feeling awkward, her voice still groggy from sleep.

Hisoka immediately opened his mouth to speak, but Aada's eyes suddenly narrowed as she quickly raised her hand to stop him.

"I swear, if you say 'Hisoka', I'm going to throttle you, medic's oath be damned." she threatened.

Gon tensed and watched carefully, slightly nervous, not sure what the magician's reaction would be. To his surprise, Hisoka covered his eyes with his hand, his shoulders shaking as laughter slowly bubbled to the surface. Gon has heard Hisoka laugh before, but not like that; each time he's heard it, it was laced with malice or ridicule, but this time it sounded almost sincere. Hisoka's hand dropped to the duvet as he looked at Aada again, a wide grin on his lips.

"Fine," he said "have it your way, little pine…"

Aada rolled her eyes, but smiled back. She suddenly paused, as if she remembered something. She looked around the room, clearly looking for something, until her eyes focused on a book on the night stand.

"Gon, hand me that book, please." she said.

The boy did as instructed, curious. Aada took the book from him and held in front of Hisoka.

"What's the colour of the cover?" she asked.

Hisoka's brows furrowed. He wasn't sure why it was important.

"Red." He said.

Aada beamed and he knew that he must have given the correct answer to whatever underlying reason behind her simple question. Seeing his confusion, Aada quickly spoke.

"Optic nerve inflammation often causes loss of color vision, and red is especially tricky." she explained.

Hisoka watched his doctor closely, taking in the wide smile, the satisfaction that poured out of her, once again surprised with how easy it was for her to touch him and treat him, so simple, normal. Of course, she didn't know much about him, or else she wouldn't be so unguarded. Still, he didn't mind. It was… refreshing, for the lack of a better word. The only kind of touch he'd known was when he clashed with someone in combat - precise, focused, painful, or when he'd go about satisfying his carnal urges – quick, purposeful, not lasting, never too much.

"Now, read this, please, just to be sure." Aada opened the book on the first page and handed it to Hisoka. He sighed, but eventually complied.

" _Rising at dawn, Casmeer found one of them hanging in the nets outside again. Would they never learn? It was a dying, broken thing. It clacked its beak at him in a last defiant, mocking gesture, shook its shaggy, dirty-white head, tried to manipulate its skinny elbows. It had come for the roche that stood on Casmeer's roof, attracted by the scintillant sparkle in the crystal depths, filled with a lustful urge to steal.*"_

He paused and looked at his doctor, noticing an absentminded, faraway look on her face.

"Will this be enough?" he asked, amused.

She blinked a few times, then turned to him slowly and smiled.

"Yes. Your eyes are fine." She said, "Just a few more days to make sure there is no remnant infection from your wounds, and you can be on your way."

She got up and stretched.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." she said before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Outside, Aada stopped and leaned against the wall, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks, thinking back to how she got distracted and caught. It was Hisoka's voice. Last night she didn't pay that much attention, preoccupied with treating him, but now, when he read the passage, she couldn't help it. He had a beautiful voice; low, but not overly so, melodic, with the cadence rising slightly and softening at the end of each sentence. It was like honey, thick and sweet. Smoky. Seductive. She caught herself thinking she wouldn't mind it if he read the whole book aloud, before chastising herself for being unprofessional.

* * *

 ***A/N:** _The book is "Calenture" by Storm Constantine._


	4. Twenty Nine

**Twenty Nine**

Hisoka was feeling restless, not used to bedrest. He had slept through most of the day, and then tried getting up, but winced and gave up. Illumi got him good; he didn't notice before, adrenaline coursing through his veins, the pain in his head and loss of eyesight making him oblivious to his wounds. Still, he didn't hold it against the Zoldyck – he was quite sure their relationship would remain intact despite the fight. They worked well together, and a temporary falling out wouldn't change that. They were too useful for one another.

He spent some time reading the book Aada asked him to read from before and enjoyed it, but now he was starting to feel bored.

The door opened and he perked up, only to be disappointed seeing Leorio on the doorstep.

"What do you want?" he asked impatiently.

Leorio glared daggers at him.

"I'm here to check up on you."

"Where's my doctor?" asked the magician.

"Aada is still at the hospital." Explained Leorio. "She asked me to check up on you if she wasn't back by seven."

Hisoka shook his head.

"Go away. I want my doctor."

Leorio sighed tiredly.

"I am perfectly capable of checking your condition." He said. "Now, don't be obstinate and let me."

The magician shook his head again, finding riling Leorio up amusing.

"You're not even a real doctor." He smirked.

Leorio smiled unexpectedly.

"She should be here to hear this."

Hisoka's brows furrowed, he didn't understand.

"She looks younger than me." Explained Leorio, walking closer to the bed, a small smile still on his lips, "So when we meet people who don't know us, they automatically assume I'm doctor Holme. Pisses her off."

"Oh?" Hisoka was surprised. "How old is she?"

"That's rude." chastised Leorio.

"Twenty nine." Said the female voice as the door opened and Aada walked in.

"You're being stubborn, Hi-so-ka." She said, walking towards the bed, briefly touching Leorio's shoulder as she did, and setting her bag on the floor. "When I'm not here, Leorio is authorized to do as he sees fit."

"It's okay." She turned to Leorio, "You can go."

Leorio hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and left.

Aada touched Hisoka's forehead briefly and nodded, satisfied. The fever was gone. She proceeded to check his wounds, aware of his stare. She looked up at him.

"Everything looks fine." She said, and then noticed the book that lay open on the duvet.

"You started reading it?" she asked, pleasantly surprised. "Do you like it?"

Hisoka nodded.

"Yes. It's entertaining enough."

Aada smiled fondly.

"It's one of my favorites. I'm glad you enjoy it."

"So… How come Leorio is here?" the magician changed the subject, curious. "He's not yet a doctor, is he?"

"No, not yet." Aada shook her head, "Very soon he will be. And you should still call him a doctor, by the way."

Seeing her patient's questioning gaze, she explained further.

"I was asked to participate in a mentoring program at the university. I graduated early, and Leorio is on his way to doing the same. So, we were paired up, and we quickly became friends. He's still a student at the academy, but he's allowed to practice under my supervision outside the hospital."

"So… this clinic?"

Aada smiled again.

"We bought the house together." She said, "It's a great practice for him, and keeps me grounded when I'm not at the hospital."

"Is it usual for the mentor and mentee to live together?" prodded Hisoka, briefly wondering if he was going too far.

"No." admitted Aada. "It raised some questions."

"And?"

"And I don't care." She replied firmly, making Hisoka smile.

"Fair enough." The magician nodded, cataloguing the new piece of information.

Aada got up, wanting to leave, but Hisoka would have none of that. In his current state, the doctor was the only thing keeping the boredom at bay.

"Little pine…" he said, "Stay a bit longer?"

"Oh?" Aada sounded surprised, disregarding the use of her new nickname.

"I'm really, really bored. It's killing me."

Aada chuckled. The room was getting darker, so she turned the lamp on the nightstand on. She was tired after her shift at the hospital, but her patient intrigued her.

"Fine." She said, sitting back in the chair, "Can't lose a patient to boredom, can I? I won't stay long though. I'm tired, and you still need to rest."

"How long do you think I will need to stay here?" he asked, trying to sound innocent. "I don't feel so good."

Aada's head tilted to one side.

"You're feeling quite good considering, aren't you. You heal fast." She said. "I can see you make Leorio, Killua and Kurapika tense. Gon looks pretty fond of you, though. I don't care about your history with them – it's not my business. Behave, and you can stay as long as you need to. Deal?"

Hisoka nodded, a sly smile on his lips. His doctor was indeed very observant. Suddenly, he winced, feeling a wave of dizziness. Aada immediately checked his forehead, and then his pulse.

"Lie back." She pressed him back into the pillows. "You're still worn out."

She took her bag from the floor and browsed through it, until she found the thing she was looking for. She took a pill bottle out of the bag and shook two pills on her palm, handing them to the magician, reaching for the glass of water on the nightstand.

"Here." She held his head up and helped him drink as he swallowed the pills. Hisoka huffed, annoyed with his helplessness, and then inhaled, doing his best to be discreet, taking in the pleasant, dry scent of pine resin and needles.

Aada looked at him, instinctively understanding he wasn't used to feeling weak. When she saw him for the first time, he looked hurt, but intimidating. Now, with his hair loose, the make-up gone, she had a feeling that this side of him was not something he usually showed to the world. The golden eyes were downcast now, but she wasn't sure if he felt embarrassed, or if it was an act. Still, she couldn't help the feeling – she found him interesting. She realized she shouldn't give in to it; that she should leave, but decided to stay nonetheless. She took the book in her hand, checking his progress.

"Ah," she smiled, "Ays is leaving Min to face the unknown. This is one of my favourite parts."

She skimmed through the paragraphs, but it's been too long since she last read it and soon she was completely engrossed in the story once more.

"I'm still here." the amused tone in Hisoka's voice brought her back to reality.

"Sorry." Said Aada, blushing slightly, "I didn't realize how much I missed that book."

Hisoka's head tilted to one side as he considered briefly what to say next.

"Why don't you read it aloud?" he asked.

Aada hesitated, unwanted images and words flashing through her mind.

 _Come on, don't be mean… Read to me. You know I love it._

She shook her head. This was a vastly different situation, and a completely different person. Not even the same book. Still…

"Fine." She conceded, surprising herself. "Just for a while."

Hisoka listened to the low, mellifluous voice, enjoying that Aada read to him. Nobody has ever done something like that before. He liked it; finding the little pine's voice soothing; he listened and tried to keep up with the story, until his eyelids felt heavy and he succumbed to sleep.

Aada stopped reading, hearing his steady breathing, indicating Hisoka was asleep. She brought the duvet higher to cover him up and once again touched his forehead. She looked at his face, unguarded in his slumber, and couldn't suppress a thought. When she realized what it was, she became irritated with herself much like the day before, and left the room, but the insistent thought wouldn't leave her.

 _Beautiful._


	5. Vanilla

**Vanilla**

Aada was about to leave the exam room; they were done for today and Leorio had already left. She looked out the window and noticed Gon sitting on the porch. She had a vague impression that Leorio's friends chose to stay because Hisoka was still there; they all seemed distrusting of him, but she didn't mind their presence; on the contrary - she enjoyed it. During the past year, it had been mostly her and Leorio, and although she cherished her friend, it was nice to have other people around. It was helping, she discovered that she wasn't thinking so much of the one in her past, lately. Instead, she found herself being slowly drawn to someone else.

Aada sighed; it looked like her thoughts kept going back to Hisoka. Since that night when she read to him, he insisted it was her to check up on him, annoying Leorio in the process. She decided it was best to stay distant and professional, but still relented when he asked her to read to him again, and now was annoyed with herself for how easily she gave in.

Her attention shifted back Gon. He was reading a book; his brow furrowed in an intense expression that made her smile. He looked like he was struggling to understand something; he rubbed the back of his head and huffed, making the doctor chuckle. She liked the boy, moved by the way he acted around Hisoka when he was unconscious; Gon seemed like a kind soul, putting others before him. She also couldn't shake the feeling that he seemed a little lonely.

He could probably use a break from whatever he was reading. Aada went to the kitchen and took some ice cream from the freezer, before heading to the porch. She stood in the doorway, hiding the treat behind her back.

"Hey, Gon." she said.

The boy's head shot up and his face lit up with a big, radiant smile.

"Hey, Aada."

She couldn't help but smile back. He was so cute.

"What are you reading?"

Gon sighed.

"Leorio lent me a book about controlling aura. It's so difficult!" he paused, his nostrils moving as he sniffed the air. His eyes brightened.

"Ice cream!" he exclaimed happily. "Vanilla, my favourite!"

Aada laughed.

"How did you know?"

"I can smell it." Explained the boy, stunning the doctor.

"Oh well…" she hesitated, "I saw you through the window and thought you could use a break."

Gon put the book down.

"You were right…" he admitted. "It's just so difficult sometimes. I'm not as bright as Killua."

"Hey," the doctor came closer and ruffled his hair playfully, "I don't agree with that."

Gon's eyes widened in surprise.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure thing." Aada said, handing the box of ice cream and a spoon to him.

He nodded happily and proceeded to eat the treat as she watched him, smiling.

"How come you have such a keen sense of smell?" she asked, curious.

Gon shrugged.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, "But when I was little, I used to spend most of my time in the wild. Maybe that's why."

"What can you smell now?"

"Ice cream." Gon smiled. "And your perfume. Pine resin, needles, moss, incense, leaves. That is why Hisoka calls you the way he does."

Aada smiled involuntarily; it looked like it happened spontaneously whenever Hisoka was mentioned. She knew exactly why the magician called her this way, to tease her. She didn't mind, not really. She also secretly envied Gon – to her, scents were associated with feelings, memories, impressions, able to put her at ease or distress her; she wasn't bad at identifying scents and their notes, but she'd like to be able to experience them as Gon did.

Gon licked the spoon clean and looked at Aada.

"Don't mind it." he said, "He doesn't mean anything wrong, I think. But it also means you interest him in some way. Or else he wouldn't bother."

Aada's eyebrows arched. She wasn't sure whether to be pleased or worried.

"Is that so?"

The boy nodded.

"You seem to know him quite well."

"Hisoka is not a bad person." Gon elaborated, "He just knows what he wants, and acts upon it. He doesn't care what others think he should want, you know? He wants to test himself, all the time, but I've never seen him hurt somebody who was helpless."

Aada looked at him pensively. Gon was brighter than he gave myself the credit for.

"You like him quite a lot, don't you?" she asked.

Gon's face looked distant for a moment.

"I'm not sure." He replied eventually. "Hisoka is not bad, but he's not exactly… good. But he helped me in the past. And he pushes me to be stronger. I know I'm not even close to his level yet. But I will be one day, you'll see!" he exclaimed, his cheerfulness taking over in a string of words and sentences that made it difficult for Aada to make sense of.

"And you know, that one time, when Killua and I were looking for my dad, in this game, we were up against Razor, and he was freakishly strong! There were so many of us, and he managed to incapacitate everybody, even Killua and me, but Hisoka turned it around for us, and we won! He was amazing!"

Aada smiled, seeing Gon's enthusiasm, but waited in silence, wanting him to continue.

"Killua doesn't like it." admitted Gon after a while. "He thinks Hisoka is a bad influence. I don't think so. He motivates me. At least he's shown interest in me. And the stronger I got, the easier it was for me to…" he didn't finish, and Aada was taken aback by the sudden bitterness in his voice. It didn't suit the boy's sunshine personality that she's come to like.

"What is it?" she asked gently. "You don't have to answer, if it makes you uncomfortable."

Gon sighed.

"It's OK, Aada. It's my dad." He explained, "My dad is a hunter too. I met him for the first time a few months back. I only became a hunter because of him; I spent so much time looking for him, trying to get stronger so I could find him and get some answers. But in the end, it still feels like I don't really belong anywhere. He feels more as a cool family member… not a father though."

Aada's smile faltered. This was the reason for the loneliness she instinctively felt in Gon. She could relate in a way, her parents were gone too, however they were taken from her, while his father apparently chose to stay away – she vaguely remembered Leorio mentioning that in the past. Still, what she's just heard made her feel a sense of kinship with this young boy, barely old enough not to be considered a child, and she wanted to comfort him somehow.

"Hey." she said, touching Gon's shoulder. "You are always welcome here, with Leorio and me."

Gon's eyes brightened.

"Really?"

Aada nodded solemnly.

"Yes. And now, give me some of that!" she laughed, snatching the ice cream from his grasp.

After a while, she put the now empty box down.

"How about your parents?" asked Gon, "Where are they now? Do you keep in touch?"

Aada shook her head.

"They died in a train crash when I was sixteen."

"Oh…" Gon looked embarrassed and apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's OK." Aada ruffled his hair again. "You didn't know. And, after all that time, it doesn't hurt so much to talk about them. Now I mostly remember the good things."

"What were they like?" asked Gon quietly.

Aada smiled fondly.

"My mom was a painter. Her works were pretty dark, but beautiful… My dad was a surgeon, so I suppose I've always wanted to follow in his footsteps. They allowed me to explore my interests, and always supported me. I loved them a great deal. I still do. They were so different, yet somehow worked together so well…"

"They sound amazing." Said Gon earnestly. "I wish sometimes… that my dad was like this."

Aada touched his hand gently.

"Treasure him, however he is." She said, "Things can always change between the two of you."

Gon nodded hesitantly, but smiled at her.

Aada reached for the book that he was reading before. She wanted to change the subject, as talking about her parents brought about other unpleasant memories of loss.

"Let's read it together, shall we?" she asked, "I don't know much about nen, but maybe together we can make more sense of it."

Gon nodded enthusiastically.

They went on to read where he left off, discussing the content animatedly, unaware that they were being watched. Hisoka's eyes narrowed as his mouth curved in a small smile. He was bored and snuck out of his bed, making sure nobody saw or heard him.

He liked what Gon said. Initially, when he met him, he wanted to use him for his own amusement, but refused to kill him, not wanting to waste the potential he saw in him. Somewhere along the way, he developed a fondness for the boy. He realized it when he learned that Gon was on the verge of death after fighting the Chimera ants; he acknowledged that fact a while back and didn't mind the feeling, and hearing that he was the source of motivation for the boy made him feel content. He was going to enjoy the moment when Gon became strong enough to fight him on equal terms, but despite that, his focus drifted to Aada, the way she interacted with Gon, watching carefully how she reacted whenever the boy mentioned him, and filing away the new piece of information he learned about her.

Contrary to what most people thought of him, although Hisoka preferred testing his abilities against physically strong opponents, he also enjoyed challenges that didn't involve fighting or killing. Suddenly he decided he wanted to stay a bit longer to see if this situation could prove entertaining. There were many ways to fight, and manipulation brought him a lot of satisfaction; he quickly licked his lips, suppressing a shudder of anticipation. It would be a different kind of challenge, but it could prove no less interesting, a nice little pastime before he resumes his search for Chrollo.

* * *

Killua was resting, stretched comfortably on the bed in the room he shared with Gon, marveling at how nice it was to simply do nothing for a time. To be honest, he liked it here and didn't mind staying longer; his own family… they were unorthodox, and although he was grateful for having been taught how to fight and control his emotions, he never realized how much he missed something until he met Gon. Friendship. Warmth. Care. Aada and Leorio's house was full of it. He knew that eventually he'd get bored, as being in one place for too long never suited him, but for now he wanted to enjoy this a little more.

Look at them. Leorio, Kurapika, Gon, Killua and Aada. Four strong nen users, and one woman who had no idea about using nen, but could make them do just about anything she wanted. Killua snorted. His mother would have a fit if she ever learned how the scion of the Zoldyck family was put to work in the herb garden, and actually enjoyed it. Helping plants grow - so un-assassin like.

Killua frowned all of a sudden. And then there was him. Hisoka. He was still there, although his injuries healed enough for him to be on his way. He didn't know what the magician's motives were yet, but he would stay here until the man left. He should talk to Gon about this. Killua knew Leorio was much stronger now and could take care of himself, but he was no match for Hisoka. No, both Killua and Gon should stay here for the time being to keep the magician in check. He heard the door open and the sound of footsteps he knew well.

"Kil?" one blue eye snapped open, regarding Gon lazily.

"Hmmm?"

Gon sat on the bed next to Killua, his index fingers touching repeatedly. Killua sighed. That could only mean one thing, Gon wanted something he thought Killua would not be in favor of, but he would then start to convince him until he gave in.

"So… I was thinking… It's nice here, right, Killua?" said Gon.

"Oh?" Killua's brows arched. He liked where this was going, and Gon was actually saving him the trouble.

"Yeah… it feels almost like with aunt Mito, you know?" Gon smiled and Killua nodded in agreement.

"So… I know you don't really like staying in one place longer than you have to, but… maybe we could stay here a bit longer, with Aada, Leorio and Kurapika? Please?" Gon asked, the inevitable puppy look on his face.

Killua snorted.

"Fine." He said.

"I think they wouldn't mind us staying, Aada told me I was welcome here, so…" he continued what was obviously a rehearsed speech, before noticing the small detail.

"Did you just say 'fine', Kil?"

"Yep. I kind of like it here too, you know."

Gon beamed.

"That's so great Kil! We get to spend more time with them, and train together! Well, not with Aada of course…"

After a while Gon grew silent. Killua knew that look.

"What is it now?" he asked.

Gon looked up.

"Kil, do you think he… do you think Hisoka would want to train with me?"

Killua sighed.

"I know you don't like him Kil, but he's amazing! Just think how much he could teach me!"

"He's a transmuter like me, Gon, so if any of us would benefit from training with him it would be me."

Gon looked outraged.

"But it was my idea first!"

Killua laughed. This was just too easy.

"Careful, Gon." He teased, "You're starting to sound like a girl with a crush."

Gon blushed, positively mortified, his mouth falling open.

"I so don't!"

"Shut your mouth, idiot. If you want it so bad, go ahead and ask him."

"But what if he doesn't want to?"

"Want me to ask him for you?" Killua enjoyed teasing his friend immensely, "I can tell him he turns you into a blushing schoolgirl, maybe he'll agree then."

"You wouldn't do that, Kil." Gon's eyes were wide in terror.

Killua shook his head. Sometimes Gon was too gullible for his own good.

"No," he admitted, "I wouldn't. Ask him yourself."

Gon sighed in relief.

"I will. I'll have to think about it first."

There was a satisfied smile on Killua's face. This was actually a surprisingly good idea. For one, they would be able to keep close tabs on the magician. The added bonus was Gon's personality. Killua loved his friend, but knew that his hyperactive nature often wore people down. Hisoka liked Gon, but he's never received the full dose. The magician was aloof, selfish and mostly solitary, and although at first he'll probably be flattered by Gon's attention, he'll quickly tire of it and leave. Perfect.


	6. Pick One

**Pick One**

His injuries were mostly healed, but Hisoka stayed at the clinic, fully aware that he was overstaying his welcome. Still, Aada told him he could stay, and he would use her invitation. He often felt the questioning gaze of his fellow hunters, who were no doubts wondering why he was still there, but they haven't confronted him yet. He didn't care. He had not been told explicitly to leave, and he was no longer bored. He was curious, and he liked the feeling. For a few days after he woke up and found that he could see again, he lingered, observing Aada, aware of Leorio's heavy, worried attention and finding it amusing.

Currently, Hisoka sat on the couch in the living room, his long fingers shuffling cards. If anybody entered the room, they'd probably think he seemed slightly bored. Hisoka, however, was anything but. He was waiting. He knew the whereabouts of everybody in the house. Leorio was in his room, studying no doubt, Gon and Killua were in their guest bedroom playing video games, and Kurapika was reading one of his books in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of tea. Perfect. The stage was set, and Hisoka was waiting for his dance partner. He heard slow, unhurried footsteps on the porch and the door creaking; there she was.

Aada entered the room, looking tired.

"Welcome home, little pine." He greeted from his spot on the couch.

"Hey, Hi-so-ka." was all she said, before putting her bag on the floor and plopping onto the couch next to him. She rubbed her temples.

"Rough day?" he asked.

"Mhmmm." She mumbled in response, not looking at him.

Hisoka frowned for a second. Now this wouldn't do.

"Wine?" he inquired.

Aada finally looked at him and smiled tiredly, not bothering to think how he knew where the wine was.

"Sure."

Hisoka walked to the cabinet where the two doctors kept their stash and grabbed two glasses.

"Red?" he asked.

Aada laughed quietly.

"That one is Leorio's. I have enough red in my line of work."

Hisoka chuckled, amused.

"White it is."

He filled two glasses and walked back, offering one to Aada. She nodded and smiled politely. They sat together for a while in a comfortable silence.

"So, how was your day?" asked Aada, sipping wine from her glass.

Hisoka winked at her.

"Oh, the usual. Up to no good."

"You seem comfortable here." Said Aada, one corner of her mouth twitching as she was trying to suppress a smile. Hisoka's wounds healed enough for him to travel, but he showed no intention of leaving yet. He acted as if he belonged here.

Hisoka looked her in the eye. "Quite. Does it bother you?"

Aada looked back at him pensively; she wasn't stupid – she could see he was making the others nervous, but she didn't really mind his presence. She had no idea why he chose to stay though. She kept convincing herself she was allowing him to stay to make sure he fully healed, but truthfully, she struggled to admit that she liked having him around and wanted to know more about him. She shrugged, feeling a little defeated; it seemed that her professional approach was always on the losing side when it came to Hisoka.

"Not really." she answered eventually.

They fell into a comfortable silence again, before Hisoka decided to prod a bit more.

"So… what's your story, little pine?" he asked.

Aada rolled her eyes.

"You will insist on calling me that, won't you?" she sighed. "What would you like to know?"

Hisoka's head tilted to one side.

"Oh, not much…" he replied, "Just how you got to do what you do, with too much red and all."

Aada smiled, a small, open smile.

"That's a tall order, and a long story. And I'm quite tired."

Hisoka smiled back.

"Go for a summary, if you prefer." He encouraged.

"Orphaned at sixteen. Studied as much as I could. Wanted to be a doctor for most of my sentient life. Got a scholarship. Met…" she paused, "Met Leorio, and here I am. That's all."

Hisoka absorbed all information Aada was willing to share, his mind already working on how to use it in future. He also noticed that the last piece of information, the one she eventually stopped herself from sharing, made her sad; her eyes glazed over as she stared into the distance, her teeth nibbling on the rim of her glass. Hisoka frowned angrily; he didn't want her to concentrate on something else than him.

"Aada."

She looked at him immediately, surprised he used her name, and Hisoka smiled mischievously.

"I knew I'd get you with this one, little pine."

Aada shook her head, amused. For whatever reason, she felt comfortable with Hisoka. Truth be told, lately she was trying not to think about her past too much, and she was grateful for the distraction he offered. He was making it easier.

Hisoka set his glass on the coffee table next to the couch and started shuffling his cards. Aada sipped her wine and watched, mesmerized by his agility and precision. The magician offered the deck to her.

"Pick one." He said, and she did as instructed, curious.

"Good. Now look at it carefully, and remember it." he instructed, watching her, a small, satisfied smile on his lips. Aada did as she was told, and then looked at him, her eyes questioning.

"Now, don't show it to me, and put it back in."

When she did, Hisoka started shuffling the cards again, his eyes not leaving hers. Hisoka bent slightly towards her, until his face was mere inches from hers. Aada moved back a little, looking startled, but he only tucked an errant lock of brown hair behind her ear. The magician's hand retreated, holding a card that he now put in front of her face.

"Is this the one?" he purred, enjoying her surprised expression.

Aada took the card from his hand and laughed; a little, delighted laugh that made her sound like a little girl.

"How…" she started asking, before she stopped herself. "Ah, no. I don't need to know. A good magician should keep his secrets to himself." she handed the card back to him, her eyes warm and smiling, but Hisoka shook his head.

"Keep it." He said.

She nodded and looked back at the card, her smile pensive, but a little sad. Queen of hearts. How ironic.

"Hmmm?" Hisoka's brows arched as he noticed the sudden change in her demeanor.

"Nothing." Said Aada absentmindedly, depositing the card in her pocket.

"So…" she titled her head to one side, "What's your story, Hi-so-ka? How did you get to do what you do, magic and all?"

Hisoka frowned.

"I don't really care about my past. I forget most of it." He admitted.

Aada nodded, unperturbed.

"OK." Was all she said, causing Hisoka to look at her in surprise.

There was only a handful of people who had asked him that question before, and all wanted to prod for more information, where she simply accepted what he said.

"What about the present?" she asked instead.

"Testing myself." He answered.

Aada did not prod again, sipping her wine. It looked like she was willing to accept the answer he gave her and wouldn't push for more details, but Hisoka realized leaving things like that would get him nowhere. She was interesting; she captured his attention from that first evening she treated him and he wanted to explore more, to see how he could play with her, manipulate her.

He could left have already – he was mostly healed and nothing was stopping him from saying his goodbyes and venturing forth to seek more thrills. But still, this woman intrigued him, and Hisoka enjoyed a battle of wits almost as much as a good fight; that was the reason why he was so obsessed with fighting Chrollo – the leader of the Phantom Troupe offered both physical and intellectual challenge. Sadly, Chrollo was out of the picture for the time being, and Hisoka itched for some excitement. Manipulating people into doing what he wanted was an exquisite feeling that he'd been missing ever since the Kurapika versus Phantom Troupe showdown in Yorkshin. How could he manipulate Aada, to what end? It didn't matter; he'd come up with a desirable scenario soon and pushing Leorio's buttons was an added bonus. This might be a bit of a small scale challenge, but he wanted it. And since he did, he would act upon his wishes, as always.

From what he's learned about her in the short time since he'd met her, Aada had a sharp mind, fast situation assessment, she was daring and passionate about her vocation. The only other person he's met who had some of these qualities was Illumi, but the only satisfaction Hisoka could get from him was a fight, since Illumi had close to no emotions apart from his unhealthy attachment to Killua. Aada on the other hand… she was full of emotions waiting to be uncovered and exploited. She kept surprising him with her assertiveness and lack of fear or apprehensiveness towards his person, and Hisoka loved surprises.

"I live for the moments when I'm on the edge." He admitted, truthfully. "I don't rely on others, and dedicate most of my time to honing my skills. And when I find someone worthy of testing them against, there's this moment, when only my skills and intellect stand between me and oblivion; I anticipate them, work towards them, and when I prevail, there's nothing that can compare to that feeling."

He looked at Aada, curious to see how his words affected her. Her face remained pensive as she digested what he shared with her.

"You are not so different from me in that regard." she said.

Hisoka remained silent, sensing she was on the verge of sharing more. He drank from his glass, waiting, then took the bottle again and poured more wine for the both of them.

"I love what I do, and I dedicate much of my time to make sure I get better at it." Aada said eventually, "I chose to be a doctor to help others, but lately, also so they don't have to…" she suddenly stopped, as though she felt she was going to say too much.

Hisoka was making her feel comfortable, to the point she almost divulged something personal that she was not ready to discuss. She closed her eyes for a moment; he was anything but stupid, and it wasn't a hard guess. Still, she didn't feel like talking about it. She took another sip of wine before continuing.

"I admit though, the moment when somebody's life depends on my knowledge, speed and skill, creates a completely different reality. And when I succeed, when I defy death, the moment when I can give a person's life back to them, the feeling is unlike anything else. I suppose that may be the reason why I chose this particular specialty."

Hisoka looked at her, surprised. They were alike, more than he initially thought. He noticed the moment when she hesitated, about to share something important, something that affected her deeply, and stopped; she had clearly lost somebody, someone other than her parents, someone who was important enough to have a profound effect on her, but he wouldn't pry, not for now.

"On the other hand," she continued, "I am not omnipotent. Sometimes I can't win, and when that happens… there's nothing… nothing that can compare to that feeling either." She finished, her face solemn.

It was Hisoka's turn to look into the distance, weighing Aada's words. He's never lost before and he imagined when that moment came, it would also mean his death; still, he could imagine the bitterness that defeat brought. He wasn't sure what to say. Instead, he nudged her wine glass with his.

"What is your specialty, little pine? I realize I never asked."

"Trauma and orthopedic surgery." she replied immediately.

Hisoka nodded; that explained a lot about how she handled him on that first night when Kurapika, Killua and Gon brought him here. She wasn't aware, but to him her drive, conviction and strong will that she needed to face what she did every day made her an even more desirable prey.

"Losing is not something anybody can face with ease, little pine." He said, touching her arm. "But for what it's worth, you helped me."

Aada looked down on her arm and Hisoka's hand for a long time, until he thought he'd overdone it; but when he was about to pull away, she covered his hand with hers and looked back at him with a gleam in her eye.

"Thank you for saying that." she said, "I should probably go. I have to get up early tomorrow."

Hisoka nodded and withdrew his hand; Aada got up and raised her glass in a silent salute before drinking the rest of her wine. She put her glass on the coffee table and walked towards the door. She turned in the doorway and smiled at the magician.

"Thank you for tonight, Hi-so-ka."

Hisoka smiled back, and kept smiling even after she left. Gaining trust – check, he thought. He poured himself another glass and sat on the couch for a while longer, looking into the distance, realizing that he actually enjoyed her company.

* * *

The next evening, when Aada returned, she was welcomed with a sight of the magician leaning against the door frame on the porch, waiting for her. She noticed he was holding two wine glasses; white, not red. When he offered her one, she smiled, accepted it and followed him inside. The following evening however was different. Hisoka was turned down, which irritated him.

"My evenings don't revolve solely around you, Hi-so-ka." Said Aada with a playful smile.

Hisoka could see she was excited by something, and got curious, even though the fact that she was paying him little attention annoyed him.

"What got you in such a good mood, little pine?" he asked.

Aada beamed.

"I've been working on this theory for a while now, regarding a new method of hip replacement surgery, and tomorrow I'm meeting doctor Eizan, the head surgeon at my hospital, to discuss it. I have to prepare."

Hisoka noticed an opportunity immediately.

"Why don't you run it by me?" he offered.

Aada looked at him hesitantly.

"Really?" she asked, "Since when are you interested in orthopedics?"

 _I'm not,_ he thought immediately, but didn't say it aloud.

"Try me." He said instead.

Aada wanted to turn his offer down at first, but then decided practicing her explanation might be useful, even if he wasn't a fellow medic.

"As you wish." she said, walking towards the bookcase and grabbing a big anatomy atlas. "Don't complain if it bores you."

She sat on the couch and placed the book in her lap, opening it and browsing through pages until she found what she wanted. Hisoka sat next to her, and waited.

"Look." Aada pointed to one of the pictures.

"Replacing a hip is a long, extensive surgery." She said. "You have to remove the joint, the cartilage…" she kept pointing on the various bones and muscles and the magician bent down to see better, golden eyes scanning the page methodically, cataloguing information; at the same time he used the opportunity to get slightly closer to his new toy.

"Normally, a surgeon will enter the joint from the rear," explained Aada, "So when they do it…"

"They would have to cut through both muscle and cartilage, I suppose." said Hisoka with a smug smile. Ah, there we go. Now he had her full, undivided attention.

Aada paused, a slightly surprised look on her face, but then smiled.

"You catch on quickly, Hi-so-ka." She emphasized the syllables in his name teasingly again, "Talking to you about this might not be so useless after all."

Hisoka just looked back at her, one of his eyebrows arched, and Aada chuckled, amused.

"Anyway…" Aada's attention shifted back to the drawing. "Since the surgery is extensive, the recovery time is substantial, and it includes long, painful rehabilitation. This is how it has always been done. I kept thinking about it and thought we should completely turn it around."

Hisoka's interest was now piqued. He liked learning how Aada's mind worked.

"How so?" he asked.

Aada looked at him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Enter from the front, of course."

Hisoka grinned.

"Looks like you like putting things upside down, don't you, little pine?" as soon as he said that, Aada shot him an angry look and he realized his mistake. He must have touched a nerve.

"Don't patronize me." said Aada angrily, "So what that it's always been done one way? It doesn't mean that the new one won't be better. Maybe it won't work, but what if it does? Everything is stagnant without change. Only change brings progress."

Hisoka raised his hands in a defensive gesture. Judging by how Aada said that, it looked like she was used to people downplaying her ideas. He wouldn't do that. He loved surprises, he loved change.

"I actually agree with you." He said, and he meant it.

Aada sighed.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to snap at you. Anyway," she continued, "Just like you observed, if a surgeon enters from the front, they don't even have to cut through the muscle, not mentioning the cartilage."

"See?" she pointed to the picture again. "You can just stretch the muscles aside and still get where you want, and do what you need to fix the problem. There will be less pain involved, and the recovery time should be much faster."

Hisoka looked at her, impressed. This inquisitive, sharp mind worked tirelessly, looking beyond the borders set by her trade, searching for opportunities, new horizons, not afraid of taking risks. It was exquisite, and all of a sudden he wanted it even more, to have this mind bend to his will, to manipulate it to his satisfaction.

"I'm not making any sense, am I?" Aada's voice sounded deflated and Hisoka realized he must have been silent for a while, which discouraged her.

"I think it's brilliant." He admitted, observing her carefully.

Her eyes immediately smiled at him. When Aada smiled, it looked as though a candle was lit inside her, slowly spreading the glow to reach out and envelop those around her, and the magician couldn't help but admit it transformed her from pretty to beautiful. Suddenly, he wanted that smile all to himself.

"Thank you." Said Aada. "For listening to me."

"I really want it to work. I love my work here in the clinic, but when I operate at the hospital, it's a completely different feeling. I want more and more of it." She admitted. "I'll go now – I still need to prepare my notes before tomorrow."

Hisoka nodded, noticing again that Aada's character was surprisingly close to his.

"Good luck, little pine." He said.


	7. Vested Interest

**Vested Interest**

Hisoka was waiting for Aada the next evening, eager to learn if she succeeded, and realizing that he wanted her to. When she entered the room however, he immediately understood that she didn't. He could see it in the slump of her shoulders, in the absent smile.

"He shot me down." She said, looking at him tiredly as she sat on the couch and began rubbing her temples.

Hisoka got up and walked to the bar; he returned after a moment, handing a glass of wine to her, waiting to hear more.

"He didn't even want to listen, that old fool." Said Aada bitterly. "He said I was naïve, and that I should spend more time learning how to do my job properly instead of coming up with useless theories. He told me to learn more from those who have more experience. Obviously, he meant himself. And he said all that in front of his colleagues."

Hisoka was surprised with what he felt when Aada shared that - anger. Anger that she wasn't appreciated like she deserved, that she had been ridiculed. Was he the only one who could see how brightly her mind burned?

"Little pine… No one will limit you. You are the only one who can." he said, moving a bit closer and putting his hand on her shoulder, as he shared a rule he lived by.

Aada sighed and placed her fingers on his.

"I know, Hi-so-ka. I won't give up. I'll have my chance eventually, and I'll use it well."

The gears in the magician's head were already turning as his desire for her to succeed quickly gained form. _Oh, you'll have it, little pine,_ he thought, suppressing smile, _sooner than you think._

* * *

An elderly man was heading towards his office, feeling tired. The night shifts were starting to take their toll on him. He entered the office, its silence immediately calming him down. He smiled proudly; he was still in charge, having a say in whatever happened in this hospital. Even that pesky young doctor coming up with ridiculous ideas… he'd have none of that. Things were done in a determined way for a reason, because it worked. Dubious prospects of progress could not justify endangering the patients' wellbeing.

"Hello, my good doctor."

The man froze, frightened. There wasn't supposed to be anyone in here; yet he could make out a figure of a tall man, sitting comfortably on the desk.

"Ah, it's good you finally decided to join me." The voice sounded playful, but for some reason it only scared the doctor more. He reached for the door knob, but it wouldn't move.

"Come closer." Said the man, and the doctor flew across the office, pulled by an unseen force.

His eyes widened, taking in the looks of his unwanted guests. He was wearing some ridiculous clothing and make up, but something about him spelled danger. The man's eyes gleamed in the dimmed light of the room, their unusual, yellow colour reminding the doctor of a wild cat or a snake poised to attack.

The stranger smiled happily.

"It has come to my attention that you don't properly value the talent you have at hand, doctor Eizan." He said.

"Wha… What do you mean? Who are you?!"

The smile widened, making the doctor tremble.

"That doesn't matter." Said the stranger, "What matters is that you will allow doctor Holme to proceed with the upcoming surgeries using the new method she's come up with and presented to you."

"What?!" for a second, the elderly doctor forgot his fear. "That's preposterous! She should learn her place!"

"Should she?" the stranger made a small motion with his finger and the doctor crashed against the desk. "I think it's you who should learn it. You will allow her to do this. You will stop shutting down her ideas, just because you're incapable of comprehending them. Or are you simple jealous of her potential? Such a small, nasty feeling…"

"I'm not going to do this." Answered the doctor, mustering all courage he had left. "I'll report you to the police. And I'll ban her from any surgeries to come. Now leave, before I call security."

The stranger threw his head back, chuckling. He reached inside his pocket and flashed something in front of doctor Eizan's eyes. The doctor shivered. A hunter's pass. He wasn't foolish; this man could do anything to him and likely get away with it. He had known right from the start that his young subordinate was more trouble than she was worth.

"I usually don't take pleasure in ending miserable creatures like you." Said the hunter, "But I can make an exception, just this once." He winked and his voice lowered to a whisper. "She doesn't have to know about it, don't you agree? Might make her sad, with that oath you all take..."

The doctor's eyes widened and he felt cold sweat pearling on his forehead.

"Mhmmmm… I see now I have your full attention. You'll tell her tomorrow." Said the stranger, "Or I'll be back. I will know if you don't."

"Why are you doing this?" asked the doctor, his voice shaking.

"I have a vested interest in developing doctor Holme's potential." For a moment, the man's voice sounded pensive. "Do we have an agreement?"

The doctor's eyes were downcast, and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Yes." He whispered. "We do."

"Excellent." The hunter got up and stretched lazily.

"Oh, one more thing…" he added. "Doctor Holme doesn't know of my courteous visit. Let it stay this way, hmmm?"

Having received a nod, the hunter walked towards the open window.

"Have a good night, doctor." He said. "I sincerely hope I never have to see you again – you're so utterly boring."

The next second he was gone, but to the doctor it felt as if his presence was still looming in the shadows, overwhelmed by the feeling of defeat.

* * *

The next day, Hisoka was sitting on the porch, shuffling his cards absentmindedly, his thoughts steering towards his latest project. His analytical mind pondered at the reasons and possibilities, wondering how come he found it exciting enough to justify staying in one place for so long. He found it surprising how much he enjoyed interacting with Aada, her unguarded approach towards him, her sharp mind challenging his. He'd come to find pleasure in the evenings they shared, discussing whatever details she was willing to divulge about the situations she found herself in as a doctor, liking the potential that the strength of her character revealed, enjoying the attention she was paying to him.

He admitted her confidence and strength were alluring, and made him want to stay, to manipulate this inquisitive, intelligent being, to bend her to his will. Why? Because it was interesting and rid him of boredom. In Hisoka's mind, that was enough reason to stay a while longer before he'd inevitably resume his chase for Chrollo. His musings were interrupted by the sound of footsteps.

"Hisoka?" Gon's voice sounded hesitant.

The magician's head turned towards the boy, his brows rising in an unspoked question.

"I was thinking…" Gon sounded almost shy, his eyes downcast, "Since you're still here… could you consider… helping me train?"

Hisoka smiled. Normally he wouldn't consider this; he wanted his favourite fruit to ripen on its own, but it was a perfect excuse for him to continue his stay at the clinic. Aada was normally busy during the day anyway, and so he could spend his days training with Gon to distract himself, and evenings working on her. Perfect.

"Mhmmmm…" he rested his chin on his thumb, his index finger tapping his lips, pretending to be deep in thought, knowing he could fool Gon easily.

"Please?" asked Gon.

The magician sighed, pretending to be conceding to something he didn't really want.

"Fine." He said.

Gon's eyes lit up, and he smiled happily.

"Can we… start now?" he inquired.

"We might as well…" said Hisoka, barely containing a satisfied smile.

* * *

Hisoka was resting under a big beech tree outside the clinic, enjoying its cool shade after training with Gon. He'd never stayed in one place for so long before, at least not that he could remember, but it felt strangely soothing. He closed his eyes, but after a while he sensed another presence. Leorio. When he opened his eyes, the magician noticed a serious expression on the doctor's face.

"Hisoka… Mind explaining why you're still here?" asked Leorio.

The magician shrugged, secretly enjoying that he put the other hunter on edge.

"I'm helping Gon train, haven't you heard?" he explained, "And besides, your mentor told me I could stay as long as I need to.

"Don't tell me you've already grown tired of my presence, Leorio." Added the magician, with a hint of amusement.

Leorio huffed angrily.

"I don't know what you're playing at, Hisoka." He replied. "But I'm watching you. What is it you want from Aada?"

Hisoka's eyebrows arched.

"I thought it was obvious." He said lazily. "She's fun to be around, unlike you, right now."

Leorio opened his mouth to speak, but then bit his lip. He turned around and left, accompanied by Hisoka's silent chuckle.

* * *

Leorio sat on the porch, his head in his hands. Hisoka worried him, but he didn't know what to do. Aada didn't seem to mind the magician's presence, and apparently she allowed him to stay. Leorio didn't want to contradict her, not after what she went through a year before. He felt she was still fragile, but it only made him even more worried. Suddenly, he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and jumped, surprised. He looked up and immediately relaxed seeing Kurapika.

"What's wrong, Leorio?" asked the Kuruta, his hand still on the doctor's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Leorio sighed.

"It's Hisoka, isn't it?" inquired Kurapika.

"Yes." Leorio nodded. "It worries me that he's still here. I don't know what he wants, but it can't be good."

"You worry about Aada. They've been spending quite a lot of time together recently. Almost every evening, in fact."

"You know me well." admitted Leorio.

"She must be precious to you…" whispered Kurapika, a sad, pensive expression on his face.

"Of course she is." Agreed Leorio. "She's my mentor, but most of all she's my friend."

Kurapika inhaled and exhaled slowly, his features softening. For some reason, he looked relieved, which surprised Leorio.

"You're worried Aada likes him a bit too much, aren't you?" he asked, his hand moving in soothing circles on Leorio's back.

Leorio nodded again.

"Aada lost someone important last year." He explained. "She's still so fragile… She was so broken; it took all I had to help her accept it and move on with her life. She's doing much better but still, after all that time, she almost never says his name. I know she probably needs someone else to fully move on, but… I'm scared she'll get attached to the worst person possible, and get hurt again."

Kurapika leaned closer to Leorio, their shoulders touching.

"I don't think you have to worry about that." He reassured him. "I know Hisoka a bit better than you. I don't think he's ever been in a relationship with anyone – his interests attach and detach too quickly. He'll get bored and leave soon enough, I think."

Leorio looked at Kurapika hopefully and his mouth slowly broke into a smile.

"Thank you, Kurapika." He said, and rested his forehead on his friend's shoulder. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Kurapika blushed, glad Leorio couldn't see it, and then closed his eyes and relaxed, enjoying the moment.


	8. Cotton Candy

**Cotton Candy**

Aada felt absentminded, concentrated fully on the surgery that awaited her the next day, still thanking her lucky stars that doctor Eizan changed his mind after all. It had surprised her, she didn't think he had it in him to give her proposal another thought and revise his opinion. Maybe she should think better of him.

Hisoka understood how she felt; it would make or break her, steel her resolve or threaten to shatter it. His instincts were telling him that even if she failed, she would continue on her path; after all, he would. He did what he could, the rest was up to her. Now, he wanted her attention.

"You'll succeed." He said, "Everything's possible. I had both my arms severed, once…" he baited.

Aada's head turned abruptly in his direction. There, he thought, feed that curious mind something incomprehensible, and she'll bite.

"Severed…?" she asked, unsure she heard properly.

Hisoka smiled.

"Yes, my opponent severed both of them in a fight." He explained.

Aada's eyes were wide with disbelief. She grabbed his arms, inspecting them closely, and the magician basked in his toy's attention. The doctor raised her head, and her eyes bore into his.

"If this is true… how come you are unscathed?" she asked.

"Machi fixed me." He replied.

"Machi?"

"Yes," he smiled fondly, "She can use her nen threads to fix almost everything. She connected muscles, tissue, bones…"

"And you still feel them like before?" asked Aada in amazement, brushing her fingers on his skin absentmindedly.

"Yes… I can feel everything very, very well…" confirmed Hisoka with a content sound close to a moan, making Aada blush. She quickly backed away.

"Is this what her aura does?" she asked, "The same aura you, Leorio, Gon, Kurapika and Killua possess?"

Hisoka nodded.

"I've been meaning to ask…" started Aada, "How does your aura work? That night when Leorio's friends brought you here, I think I felt it, although I couldn't see it."

"Care for a small demonstration?" purred the magician, glad to be the focus of Aada's attention.

No sooner than she nodded did Aada hear a heavy tome falling to the floor and she gasped. It was the anatomy atlas she showed to Hisoka before, one of the earliest editions that she valued highly. She got up abruptly to go and pick it up and immediately noticed she couldn't – the same force she felt the night she met Hisoka was preventing her from moving. She tried fighting it, but to no avail.

"When did you…?" she asked and sighed, seeing Hisoka's playful smile. He wouldn't say. She touched the unseen substance carefully and tried moving away again, testing how it worked. "You can let me go now."

Hisoka only looked back at her, ignoring her request.

"Seriously…" Aada rolled her eyes and struggled against it.

Hisoka's smile widened.

"Release." he said. In a flash, the unseen substance was gone, Aada lost her footing and fell into his lap. "Your wish is my command." Hisoka's eyes gleamed mischievously and Aada quickly moved back to her previous spot next to him, furious with herself that he made her blush like a teenager again.

"How did you use it when both of your arms were severed?" she asked, both curious and wanting to defuse the tension she suddenly felt.

Hisoka shrugged.

"I don't need my hands to use it, as you could well see. I quickly forget my past. But I do remember the look on his face when I used it to hit him in the face with the arm he'd just severed." He chuckled quietly and Aada grabbed one of his arms again, forgetting her earlier embarrassment, trailing her fingers on his skin, unaware of another involuntary shiver she caused.

"I can't see anything, there's no scarring." She said, amazement clear in her voice. "I'd love to meet that woman you mentioned."

"Ah yes," said the magician, "It does have an effect, hmm? I told her once that I was probably getting hurt so often only to see her work her magic."

Aada dropped his arm abruptly, fighting a sudden surge of jealousy. She realized she wanted his attention, but wouldn't voice it. That Machi character… from the way Hisoka spoke about her, she could notice he was in awe of the woman, and fond of her, and for some reason it made her mad. It shouldn't. She'd only known him for a short while; sure, they'd spent quite a lot of time together, but there had been nothing; nothing to warrant jealousy, nothing to justify the sudden possessiveness she felt towards the man sitting next to her.

She realized Hisoka probably baited her on purpose, to provoke this very reaction, only she didn't know why he'd do that. Did he want her to be jealous because he was interested in her? If so, then in what way exactly? Did she react this way because she wanted him to be interested in her? Aada enjoyed Hisoka's company, perhaps a bit too much. Still, she couldn't help the jealousy she felt, and the anger.

"You're almost fully healed now." She spat, before she could control herself, "There's nothing stopping you from leaving. Why don't you go and get your wounds properly taken care of."

"Little pine..."

She no longer paid attention, storming out of the room. Hisoka's mouth widened in a satisfied grin.

* * *

The next morning, Aada still seemed angry with him, which, for some reason, made Hisoka glad. She packed her things and left with Leorio early. The magician busied himself training with Gon, but then sat down in the living room, waiting, feeling slightly anxious.

When he heard the footsteps on the porch, he got up, wondering which Aada would he greet – the defeated one, or the triumphant one. Aada walked into the room and paused when she saw him waiting for her. Her face lit up with a smile he liked.

She ran towards him, and spun around, dragging the surprised magician with her. Apparently she had forgotten her anger. On one hand it made him satisfied, on the other – annoyed that she considered something more important than him.

"Hi-so-ka… It was amazing!" exclaimed Aada and laughed. She stopped, looking him in the eye, her hands on his shoulders.

"It's just like you said. Nobody but me can limit me."

She stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Hisoka tensed, unsure what to do, trying to ignore a strange, bubbly feeling in his chest at seeing her happy, and knowing he had his hand in it. He slowly raised his arms and returned the hug, unsure of what he was doing. Leorio watched them from the entrance, his face a mix of surprise and worry.

Later that night, all of them were in the living room, celebrating, and watching the tornado that was a doctor high on the feeling of success. Kurapika, Hisoka and Leorio were enjoying a glass of wine, while Aada simply grabbed the bottle. The boys have already left. The music was blasting from the speakers, a mix of Aada's favourite bands. She dragged Leorio to the middle of the room, forcing him to dance with her, spinning him around.

"Let me gooooo…" whined Leorio, feeling dizzy from too much wine. He stopped and kissed Aada's cheek.

"I need to go to sleep." He said.

Aada pouted. "Suit yourself."

Leorio chuckled and left. Kurapika followed. A new song started, and Aada's eyes brightened.

"I love this one!" she exclaimed, spinning around, stopping only to drink more wine.

She sang along, completely forgetting she wasn't alone, still spinning around with her arms open wide. When she stopped, she almost lost her balance, her head dizzy, but immediately she felt a pair of strong arms steadying her.

"You have a terrible singing voice, little pine." Hisoka sounded amused.

Aada flashed him a happy, unguarded smile and shrugged.

"I don't care!"

She stood on her toes again, threw her arms around his neck and leaned into him.

"I'm too happy to care." She said.

Without thinking, Aada nuzzled her face into Hisoka's neck, breathing in. Earth. Smoke. She wondered what was that other, subtle, underlying sweet note she'd been trying to identify since she'd met him, and then smiled. Cotton candy. So addictive… The song changed; the new one was much slower, hypnotic. Aada felt Hisoka's body was tense, but then it slowly relaxed, and as his arms tightened around her, she lay her head on his shoulder, the now empty bottle slipping from her grasp and falling to the carpet. The hauntingly beautiful melody, combined with his scent and the feel of him was becoming pleasantly overwhelming. She loved the feeling his closeness was giving her, one she thought she'd forgotten. She longed for it, but even in her alcohol-induced carefree state she still felt apprehensive.

"Hisoka…." She whispered, not sure what she wanted to say, simply liking the way his name rolled off her tongue.

Hisoka liked the way Aada uttered his name. Holding her so close felt alien in its intimacy, but not unpleasant. He inhaled the scent he's come to like and slowly, hesitantly, tilted his head to rest his cheek on Aada's head. He felt strange, but not uncomfortable. After a while, Aada pulled away slightly, looking up at him, green eyes meeting golden ones in a serious expression that he couldn't decipher. She tiptoed again and brushed her lips against his cheek.

"Good night, magician." She said, before she slipped from his grasp and left.

The song kept playing, the only companion to Hisoka's confused thoughts trying to take a coherent shape. He stood there for a while, long after the song ended, listening to the scratching sound of the cartridge on the record, his brow still furrowed as he struggled to understand what just happened, and why he felt disappointed.


	9. Two Kinds of Magic

**Two Kinds of Magic**

The next day, Aada sat in the exam room, looking at her patient, a little, six years old girl who fell down carrying a glass of water and now had a deep cut on her arm. She needed stitches. She was brought to the clinic by her mother; she was crying, and any attempt at touching her resulted in screaming. Aada sighed. This day was proving to be difficult and she still felt the remnants of the morning headache. She was used to blood and wounds, but dealing with children was always the hardest; she was an only child and never knew how to handle them. It also didn't help that her mind kept wandering back to Hisoka and the night before.

"Darling." The mother tried to soothe the little girl, "Please let the doctor help you."

Aada tried to keep her cool, holding a syringe with an anesthetic.

"Hey… I won't hurt you… I want to make you all better." she tried, but the girl would have none of it and started wailing again. Aada did not want to traumatize the child by holding her down and forcing the injection, but she was running out of options.

The doctor suddenly noticed the child's eyes widening as the crying slowly subsided. Aada turned around to see Hisoka leaning casually against the door frame, shuffling his cards. Normally she would be mad for anybody entering the exam room while she was working, but this time it was different; Aada's face suddenly lit up and with a slight movement of her head, she motioned the magician to enter.

Hisoka's brow furrowed at first. He wasn't overly fond of children; he only came to check what the fuss was about and to see if he could tease his pretty toy. But suddenly, he understood what Aada wanted him to do and saw an opening, a chance to get closer to his goal. Putting a smile on his face, he walked into the room.

The girl's mother looked startled, but relaxed when Aada nodded at her, silently trying to convey her meaning. _Let's try a distraction._

Hisoka leaned down towards the little girl, not wanting to tower over her. He wasn't sure how to approach the task, but what he knew was that he wanted was to get in Aada's good graces to achieve his ultimate goal. To gain the upper hand, he told himself.

"This must hurt, little one." he purred.

The little patient nodded, tears falling down her cheeks. She stared at Hisoka, fascinated, taking in his strange clothes, his make-up, the golden eyes, fiery hair, the cards moving fluidly between his fingers.

"The doctor here is my good friend, and I know she can make you all better."

The little girl sniffled.

"I'm scared." She whispered.

Hisoka's fingers drummed against his mouth and chin as he was pretending to be deep in thought.

"Of course you are. But tell you what, little one… If you are brave enough to let the doctor fix it, I'll show you a magic trick." he said, absolutely hating the situation and grateful that being a pathological liar made him a good actor.

The little girl's eyes widened even further.

"You can do magic?" she gasped.

Hisoka winked at her.

"You bet I can." He said, putting his best smile on and casting a quick glance at Aada. She seemed relieved, so he decided to carry on with the masquerade.

The child nodded.

"Ok…But…" she said with a shaking voice, "Can you hold my hand?"

Hisoka blinked rapidly, taken aback. He looked at Aada again, and seeing her pleading look, he relented. This better be worth it.

"Sure." He said, doing his best not to wince.

The little girl grabbed his hand. Out of reflex, Hisoka squeezed her smaller one in response and looked down at their joined hands, surprised at how fragile hers looked compared to his. Aada quickly dabbed the wound with a gauze soaked in saline solution and finally made the injection; the child's fingers tightened on Hisoka's palm as a small whimper left her lips. Hisoka flexed his fingers, trying to adjust his strength not to hurt Aada's little patient.

Aada worked efficiently and quietly, making sure to put the stitches in as fast as she could. Once she was done, she dressed the now stitched wound, looked up at Hisoka and nodded. In turn, the magician looked at the little girl and gently withdrew his hand.

"You were very brave." he said.

He leaned more towards the child and tucked her hair behind her ear, much as he did with Aada some time ago. The little girl watched him with wide eyes, entranced. Hisoka withdrew his hand slowly.

"Look what I found." He said, smiling and presenting her with a small bouquet of daisies.

The little girl gasped.

"You can do magic!" she said in awe.

Her mother gathered her close, getting ready to leave. She was smiling and mouthed a 'thank you' at Hisoka, blissfully unaware that it made him feel sick.

Suddenly, the little girl tore out of her mother's grasp and ran towards the magician. She wrapped her small arms around him and buried her face in his stomach. Hisoka froze, feeling completely awkward and not knowing how to react.

After a while the child looked up at him.

"Thank you." She said, a look of utter adoration written all over her face. "You helped me! You can do magic, just like you said! And… You're so pretty!" she exclaimed happily before joining her mother, waving before she left.

Hisoka stood in the middle of the exam room, absolutely flabbergasted. He looked at Aada; she was biting her lip, trying not to laugh, but her eyes were smiling at him.

 _Maybe it was worth it,_ he thought, before he heard a loud laughter from outside the open window, recognized the voices and sighed. Killua. Gon. The damned brats were outside all that time, masking their presence, and listening in. He had a suspicion he was never going to live this down. It wasn't worth it.

* * *

Come evening, Hisoka changed his mind. It was worth it after all. There was a knock on his door; when he opened, he saw Aada standing in the hallway, holding two glasses. He immediately registered a new detail; her hair was down – framing her face, falling past her shoulders in an unruly wave of dark brown. He'd never seen her like that before, and he smiled, understanding that it meant she was starting to trust him, letting him see a side of her she did not share with everybody.

"Hisoka… thank you so much for what you did today." Aada held out a glass and rewarded him with a radiant smile.

He took the glass offered to him and smiled back.

"Anytime, little pine." he replied immediately, not noticing that he actually meant it.

Aada kept smiling.

"I'm going to do some star gazing on the porch, with some wine." she said, "Care to join me?"

Hisoka bit his lip, his eyes searching the doctor's, the gears in his mind turning, coming up with best possible solutions on how to use the situation to his advantage.

"Lead the way." he said.

Aada walked through the house, stopping in the living room. She grabbed a full bottle of white wine and looked at Hisoka with feigned innocence.

"Supplies."

He smirked, grabbing another bottle.

"Better come prepared then." he said.

Aada led the way and made herself comfortable on an old couch outside. It was a battered piece of furniture, one that Leorio and she had meant to get rid of, but then discovered that drinking wine while sitting there at sunset was a thing they enjoyed. Aada patted the worn leather and Hisoka sat next to her.

They sat there in silence for a long while, sipping their wine. Aada took her shoes off and stretched her legs, looking up at the night sky. It started to irritate the magician. He wanted her to pay attention to him, forgetting why she wanted to be there in the first place.

"What's so interesting up there?" he asked, careful not to show his annoyance.

Aada shrugged.

"It just never ceases to amaze me." she said.

When Hisoka said nothing, she turned to him to explain further.

"The vastness of the universe…" she clarified, "There are stars out there that are bigger than all of our Solar system.

"There are worlds out there, beyond our imagining. It would take us hundreds of years to reach them… Just thinking about it can make you crazy."

She noticed their glasses were empty, so she refilled them while she kept explaining.

"It's scary, so much we don't know. So many possibilities. So much of the unknown… But I take comfort in it. I like feeling small, sometimes. I like the perspective."

Hisoka looked at her, feeling slightly surprised. His own perspective was usually limited to his wants and needs, to the everyday affairs that brought him closer to whatever he desired at a given point in time. He didn't waste time thinking about the absolute, things bigger than him. Aada's face was turned towards the night sky again, her pale skin illuminated by moonlight. Her expression was soft, unguarded, a small smile on her lips, her eyes dark and pensive, her lower lip moving against the rim of glass she held in her hand. She looked otherworldly, and even though she said she liked feeling small, Hisoka sensed that she was uncovering something big about herself. He liked it, because she was letting him into the universe of her own; so he kept observing her, schemes temporarily forgotten.

"Look." Aada touched his hand, pointing at one of the bright stars on the horizon, "See this one? It probably takes millennia for its light to reach us. It may already be dead, for all we know. But still, at this moment in time, you and me, we can see its light."

Hisoka looked at the star she pointed to, feeling strange. He was never the one to deal in absolutes, but what she said now held some strange kind of appeal. It felt bizarre, but also alluring.

Aada refilled their glasses again. She felt the freedom and the liquid courage spurning her on. She grabbed the chain around her neck, taking the pendant in her hand. She wasn't sure why she was sharing this with him, she only knew she wanted to. She showed the pendant to Hisoka.

"This thing…" she said, "I spent more money on it than I should, but I couldn't resist it. A meteorite."

She caressed the black, molten rock as if it was something precious, "It travelled through space, for who knows how many years… it's been to places we'll never be. It makes me feel like I'm touching something bigger, eternal. All I can do, is to wear it on my neck, imagine, and steal a bit of its story."

They sat in silence for a long while, feeling comfortable together. They were sitting close to one another and Hisoka inhaled deeply, out of reflex, letting the scent of pine resin, needles and moss envelop him.

"What is it that you find so alluring about pine trees, little pine?" he asked, curious.

Back when he'd met Aada for the first time, he couldn't see her, but ever since he could, he couldn't help thinking that she looked like the embodiment of her scent – pale, dark, soothing, her warmth underlined with a hint of coldness, detachment. Even her eyes fit the picture his mind painted, a cool, calming forest green.

She smiled at him, nibbling at her glass.

"I associate scents with people, feelings, situations." She said. "This one… it grounds me, and at the same time it lifts me up. Makes me feel safe.

"I like yours." She blurted out, before she could stop and think what she was saying.

"I noticed." Replied Hisoka, smiling mischievously and enjoying the blush that suddenly appeared on Aada's cheeks. "So, what is my scent like?"

Aada leaned towards him and inhaled, her long, dark hair falling down his shoulder and arm, her nose and mouth lightly brushing his neck, causing a pleasant shiver.

"You smell like earth, smoke and cotton candy." She said. "It's very you."

"And how does it make you feel?" he asked.

Hisoka could sense Aada was smiling as she moved up, her mouth almost touching his ear. His body moved on its own, his arm encircling her waist to keep her close, as he was slowly getting lost in the alien feeling of connection to another, just like the night before.

"That's for me to know, and for you to wonder." She whispered and leaned back, slipping from his grasp, reminding herself to keep more distance, and finding it extremely hard. Suddenly, she thought of Henn, an unwanted feeling of guilt making her doubt her actions. To distract herself, Aada reached in her pocket. She took out a cigarette and a lighter, and lit it.

Hisoka looked at her, perplexed.

"You spoke about eternity, and yet you use something that is bound to shorten it." he said.

She smirked.

"Sue me." She said, "I like it from time to time, after a hard day."

Hisoka chuckled.

"You don't like children that much?"

Aada shrugged.

"Just not used to, and not overly fond of them. Not sure what to do when I have to deal with them." She admitted, slowly exhaling a puff of smoke.

Hisoka accepted the answer, closed his eyes and took another sip from his glass. Aada smoked in silence, and she was taken by a sudden urge, forgetting her earlier resolve not to get closer. She exhaled the smoke slowly, looking at the man next to her, feeling a strong pull towards him, an emotion that she thought long forgotten. His question earlier prompted her to acknowledge that she found his scent comforting, but also alluring. It was curious how much the scent one wore usually revealed about a person, and she was wondering if it was correct in Hisoka's case too. His scent was making her feel bold, unguarded. It was so different from the other scent she used to love, but she couldn't help but be drawn to it.

After his injuries healed, Hisoka stayed, and she didn't mind; in fact, she enjoyed his presence, the way they'd interact, at times fully in agreement, sometimes completely opposite, but always interesting. For some reason, she had an impression they were both playing a game; the rules were fluid and unclear, but exciting. And if it was a game, it was time she made her move. It still proved difficult; she was strongly tethered in the past. Eventually, she decided to give in to her urge and held the cigarette in his direction.

"You want some?" she asked.

"Maybe."

Aada inched closer to Hisoka. She felt bold, wine and the slight tension she could feel between them making her head buzz. Without thinking, she put her index finger on his lips. She noticed the golden eyes widening by a fraction, and enjoyed it.

"Open." she said. He complied, curious, liking the way she touched him.

Aada took a deep breath, inhaling the smoke. She bent towards Hisoka, her lips mere centimeters from his, blew the cigarette smoke in his mouth and backed away slightly. He inhaled the smoke, and then exhaled slowly, wondering if he could close the distance between them. This was not something he accounted for when he started their game.

Aada's eyes narrowed, her mouth twitching in a small smile. She touched the side of his face and Hisoka's body went stiff, unsure what to feel. Her mouth pressed against his briefly, in a quick, chaste kiss.

"I enjoyed this, Hi-so-ka…" she said, extinguishing her cigarette, "Sleep well."

Having said that, she got up and left, leaving him bewildered. At first he felt disappointed, the situation reminding him of the night before when she got closer only to immediately back away, and then angry at how easily she took the initiative from him, and how he let her. He sat on the battered couch for a long time, analyzing why he enjoyed it so much, and not finding the answer, unaware of the carefully masked presence of the person watching him from a distance.


	10. A Scratch

**A Scratch**

It was a nice, quiet morning. Most of the clinic's current inhabitants sat at the wooden table in the kitchen, eating their breakfast. Leorio was sitting in his chair, staring into space, barely awake; Kurapika was engrossed in one of the history books he loved so much, sipping strong, black coffee; the two boys were chatting away happily while ingesting copious amounts of bagels; Aada's face was hidden completely behind the latest issue of the _Yorkshin Medical Journal_ as she munched on her croissant.

Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched. Hisoka stood at the door, leaning against the frame in a relaxed posture, his arms crossed on his chest. He wasn't used to being around others so much, but with them it felt… oddly familiar and comfortable. He observed his toy; her brow furrowed in concentration as she read something that she must have found especially interesting, her hand automatically readjusting her glasses. The pastry she was eating fell to the plate, forgotten; she bit her lip and looked absentmindedly through the kitchen window, lost in thought, making Hisoka smile, before she directed her attention back to the article. He recalled the night before, what she shared with him, the connection he felt. The alien feeling returned and he frowned slightly as he fought the confusion. What was this? He only wanted to play with her, use subterfuge to manipulate her. That's why he stayed; he rationalized. That's all there was to it. He pushed himself off the door frame, walking into the kitchen and making himself known.

"Morning, little pine." he said.

"Morning, Hi-so-ka." Replied Aada, as her hand reached for another croissant on an autopilot. She held it up, her arm reaching behind her head, not taking her eyes off the magazine, knowing Hisoka would snatch it before taking his usual seat next to her.

Gon and Killua exchanged an amused look, observing what has already become a morning routine for the doctor and the magician. Watching Hisoka in a domestic environment was bizarre and out of place, but very often amusing.

Said magician shot the croissant he held with an accusing look and groaned.

"I'm bored." he complained.

Aada lowered the magazine, and then rolled it neatly, placing it next to her plate. The boys noticed a delicate smile on her face as she finished her coffee. Both could swear it was mischievous. The doctor readjusted her glasses before turning towards the magician.

"Oooooh Hisokaaaaa…" she breathed, immediately drawing everybody's attention to herself. Hisoka's brows arched in surprise.

"You're just… so… sooooo…" Aada continued, her voice almost a moan, her palm splayed on her chest in a dramatic gesture, as she leaned towards him until she was mere centimeters from his face, "…SO PRETTY!" she finished with a wide grin.

The kitchen was quiet for a millisecond, before Gon and Killua erupted with hysterical laughter, their minds immediately replaying the comical scene from the day before. Aada gently flicked the flabbergasted magician on the nose and got up, preparing to leave. She and Leorio had house calls today.

"Leorio," she warned, turning towards the other doctor, "move it or I'm leaving without you."

She turned to leave, and Leorio followed, yawning and mumbling unhappily. Killua observed Hisoka carefully. The magician's eyes followed the pair to the door, then he stretched his long legs under the table and reached for his mug, looking through the window, a small, fond smile flickering on his lips.

 _Huh,_ thought Killua, surprised, _who knew?_

* * *

Outside, Leorio waited until they walked a good distance from the house, before he chose to speak.

"Aada," he started, "You shouldn't be so carefree around him."

Aada's face turned in his direction, her demeanor neutral.

"You mean our resident magician, of course." she surmised.

Leorio nodded.

"I've seen what this man is capable of. He may be acting tame now, but during the hunter exam I saw him kill eight people with one movement, without blinking. And to be honest, I didn't even have time to blink myself – it happened too fast."

His companion remained silent.

"I noticed he has some kind of interest in you, Aada." added Leorio. "This does not bode well."

Aada glared at him defiantly.

"Well, I have some kind of interest in him too." she said simply, her brow furrowed.

Leorio was horrified.

"You can't be serious."

Aada shrugged. "He's fun to be around."

"Fun to be around?!" exclaimed Leorio, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Yes." Aada almost shouted, coming to a halt, her feet digging into the dirt path, her palms balling into fists, "He is! I enjoy his sense of humor. I enjoy bickering with him. I like his card tricks. I like his looks. I like talking to him, about anything, or not talking, just being next to him. He makes me feel… light. During the past weeks he's made me laugh more times than I've laughed in a long time and goddammit Leorio, after what happened to me last year I deserve to laugh at last!"

"Aada…" Leorio stopped her, putting his hand on her shoulder. His other hand titled her chin up so she would look him in the eye. "I know… I'm sorry… I'm just worried about you, that's all."

Aada patted the hand on her shoulder, slowly calming down, and already feeling sorry for her outburst.

"I know, Leorio… you're the best friend I've ever had. I'm sorry, too."

The tall doctor smiled gently, touched by her words.

"I'm not saying you don't deserve to have fun, Aada." he said, "I just really, really need you to understand you're playing with fire. Right in the beginning of the exam, there was that guy that bumped into Hisoka. Next thing we knew, he was on the floor, screaming, and his arms were just… gone, in a cloud of flower petals… and Hisoka just pretended nothing happened." He shrugged, remembering the gruesome scene, before he continued.

"All Hisoka said was, 'You should really apologize when you bump into someone'. And this is the man you flicked on the nose today at breakfast…" he sighed, "He is a wild animal, Aada… do it today and he's amused… Get close to him tomorrow, and he might hurt you. To top it off, he used to be a member of the Phantom Troupe. Granted, he only joined them to fight their leader, now they want to hunt him down, but still… initially, they accepted him. That should tell you something."

Aada bit her lower lip, her brow furrowed. She instinctively knew Hisoka was dangerous; it was plain as day when she saw him for the very first time, and if the way he moved was not enough of an indication, her keen sense of observation made her notice how tense Gon, Killua and Kurapika were around him that night, and how Leorio tensed up immediately upon seeing him. She sensed that the chaotic, volatile man that acted so playful around her had a dark side, one she actively chose to ignore because he made her feel better. And after what Leorio had just shared with her… as much as it pained her, she couldn't let her guard down around Hisoka anymore. She'd heard about the Phantom Troupe, the Yorkshin incident was all over the news. They were criminals, thieves, but that was not the worst; they were killers. She couldn't believe Hisoka was like them. Still, there were things that she did not abide for, not as a doctor, and not as a human being. All she stood for was to save lives, not to end them. Yet, she couldn't help but feel sad.

 _Why, Hisoka, damn it?!_ She thought angrily, _Why can't you just be…_ She shook her head; he was who he was, and if she was to be completely honest with herself, that dark side that she sensed in him only added to his allure and contributed to that magnetic pull she felt whenever he was near, a pull that she would have to try to ignore. Why did she feel it anyway? It wasn't just his looks, although Aada had to admit she found Hisoka undeniably attractive. Was it because he was intriguing, playful and so very intelligent? Was it because her existence was so mundane and he was anything but? Or did she simply latch onto the first man who's shown even remote interest in her after her period of mourning? There was a reason why she kissed him the night before. Only a chaste kiss, but still… Whatever it was, she needed to distance herself, and she knew it. Now came the hard part of accepting it, and acting upon her decision. She looked up at her friend who was waiting patiently, giving her time to think.

"Thank you, Leorio." she reassured him "I promise I'll be more careful from now on."

Leorio only nodded and they resumed their trek. Aada was silent for a while, but then smiled, deciding that she needed to lift her spirits.

"Hey, Leorio…" she started innocently.

"Hmmm?"

"So… Kurapika is really cute!" she baited, smiling mischievously.

"Oh, yes, he is…" said Leorio dreamily before understanding dawned on him. "Huh, no, I mean, yes, no, wait!" he exclaimed, clearly flustered.

Aada smiled triumphantly.

"I knew it!"

Leorio's arms slumped in defeat.

"Am I really that obvious?" he asked.

"No, you're not," she reassured him, "I just happen to know you really well."

"But..." she added, lifting her index finger, "I think you should tell him, sometime soon."

The look on Leorio's face was pensive, with a hint of sadness.

"I'd like to, Aada, I really do… But what if he doesn't think of me this way? What if this ruins our friendship? Now at least I have this…"

Aada chose her words carefully before she replied.

"I haven't known Kurapika for long, but he doesn't strike me as somebody who would condemn you for letting him know how you feel." she said. "You are good friends, so I think this friendship may be strong enough to survive, even if he doesn't like you back. But then again, maybe he does?" she finished, winking.

Leorio smiled. "I'll think about it, Aada. Thanks."

"And for the record," he added "You're my very best friend in the world too."

Aada smiled back and linked her arm with his, trying to push the thoughts of Hisoka aside.

"Come, my love-struck friend, before we're late." She said, dragging him along.


	11. Something I Want

**Something I Want**

Something changed, something was wrong, and Hisoka did not appreciate it. Aada and Leorio came back late at night after a series of house calls, and he waited, ready to talk, rile up, tease and play with his new favorite toy, only said toy downright ignored him.

"Good evening, little pine." He greeted when she returned, cards shuffling between his long fingers.

"Good evening." She nodded, a strained, strange look on her face.

Hisoka frowned; this wasn't their usual routine. Normally she would smile at him, a small, secretive smile that he's come to consider one meant only for him. And she did not react to her nick name in the usual way. Every time he would call her 'little pine', she would smile and answer 'Hi-so-ka', separating and emphasizing each syllable in an unspoken agreement that two could play this game.

"How was your day?" he asked casually, intent on probing her mood further.

"Oh… it was fine, really." Replied Aada, her voice sounding unusually subdued. "Just some routine checks. Nothing out of the ordinary. "

"Care to join me?" asked Hisoka, fighting the feeling of annoyance. Normally he didn't have to ask.

There it was again, that strange look on her face.

"I'm… tired." Aada turned him down quietly. "I'll just go to sleep." Having said that, she left the room.

Hisoka's eyes followed her as she walked towards her room, but he said nothing, although his aura flared in a malicious, angry tint. This was not how he liked it. This was not how he wanted this evening to be. As usual, she was supposed to sit next to him, he would shuffle cards as they spoke, showing her a trick here and there, to which she'd react by laughing. They would have some wine, she would tell him about her day, and he would listen, because he enjoyed her lively facial expressions, her little mannerisms like using gestures to emphasize her words or readjusting her glasses every now and then. They would go into a lengthy debate on various topics, quick wits battling by exchanging contradictory views. And most of all, she would smile at him, that smile he's come to enjoy quite a lot.

Hisoka was not a creature of habit, but he liked the evenings with Aada, because she was never boring. And last night, she shared something intimate with him, and she kissed him, briefly, delicately, but she did. This was something he did not expect when he decided to play with her, but he liked it. He wanted more, and the sudden turn of events the night before spiced the game up. Now he was getting angry. He did not like being denied things he wanted. But, contrary to popular belief, Hisoka was a patient man. Although he had a pretty good idea as to what caused Aada to react this way, he did not like coming to ungrounded conclusions. So he decided to wait.

* * *

In her room, Aada lay down on the bed and put a pillow over her head. Ignoring Hisoka was a difficult thing, but she knew she had to. He didn't fit into her world, and she into his, she rationalized. She was getting too attached to him, and it wouldn't end well. She had to distance herself, before it was too late, for her, not for him. She was not a teenage girl with her head full of immature dreams, hoping she would miraculously change the man she fell for. And, she didn't really want him to change. She stopped herself. Did she… fall for him already? She did kiss him. She hadn't kissed anyone, not since Henn. She liked it. She wanted more. She couldn't have it.

Aada buried her face in the mattress and sighed. Even if she hasn't fallen for him yet, she was dangerously close to it. What was it, three weeks? Was it even possible? She had been alone for quite a long time after a huge loss, and maybe that's what made her so vulnerable – and there he was, an alluring combination of cynical sense of humor, sharp intellect, sex appeal and good looks. But also, if she were to believe what Leorio told her or what she's caught from the others' conversations, a pathological liar, prone to anger, self-centered and with absolutely no hesitation towards taking lives. She groaned. She was a grown woman who understood Hisoka was not someone who could reciprocate her budding feelings for him. Leorio was right. She did not want to fall for Hisoka and get her heart broken when he decided he was done playing house. She sighed again and ignored a few stray tears rolling slowly down her cheeks.

Come morning, Hisoka's suspicions were confirmed. Aada was actively trying to distance herself from him, it wasn't a passing thing. When he arrived in the kitchen, the last one as usual, she was seated between Gon and Killua, and did not acknowledge him but for a polite 'Good morning'.

He acted like he did not care at all, sipping his coffee and humming until she and Leorio left. Ignoring him? He'd have none of that. He asked himself why he even cared about this flimsy creature distancing herself from him. Well, he didn't really need a reason, did he? He liked playing with her and wanted to play a bit longer. Hisoka never dwelled on the things he wanted, just the act of wanting something was enough justification for him. But, first things first… He'd wait to fully confirm his suspicion and choose his next course of action. And Hisoka was a patient man.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Leorio decided to retire to his room for the night. They had been dealing with a nasty set of broken bones that day at the hospital and he almost completely exhausted his nen. He closed the door behind him and slumped against it tiredly. He was hoping for a long, peaceful sleep. And then, suddenly, he didn't. He wasn't alone. There was no warning. Angry, dark aura, apparently carefully suppressed until he closed the door, suddenly gushed out of the intruder, making Leorio's breath hitch in his throat. He was frozen in his place, like a rabbit in the headlights, waiting to get hit.

Dark, tall shape, visible next to the window barely a second ago, now flickered to existence right next to him. Leorio felt a clawed hand closing on his throat with bruising force as he was being lifted in the air, and then painfully pushed against the wall.

"Good evening, Leorio." Hisoka's quiet voice made Leorio shiver. He tried to say something, anything, but he found he couldn't, all he could do was gasp as he tried to breathe.

"Ahhhh, right. You can't speak now…." The false concern in the magician's voice made Leorio cringe. Fingers closed around his throat in a vice grip loosened and the doctor fell to the floor. The same hand grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head backwards so he was staring right into angry golden orbs that seemed to glow in the dark.

"What. Did. You. Tell. Her." Hisoka was spitting out the words, but his voice was absolutely calm.

Leorio snapped.

"Let me go. I didn't tell her anything but the truth." He said, trying to sound calm.

"Truth?" golden eyes narrowed dangerously, "What do you know of truth?"

"I told her what I witnessed during the hunter's exam. And about your involvement with the Phantom Troupe."

Hisoka's head tilted to one side. He smiled, and that smile was one of the scariest things that the doctor has seen in a long while. A set of white teeth flickered in the dark, as Hisoka's tongue darted out to lick his lips in an almost reptilian fashion.

"I'm going to say this only once, Leorio, for old times' sake, hmm?" he inched closer to Leorio's face, "Don't try to come between me and something I want. Ever. Again."

Leorio lost it.

"Something? Something you want?!" he spat angrily. "She's not a something, Hisoka, she is SOMEONE! She's my best friend! I don't know what you want from Aada, but I refuse to let you toy with her!"

Long fingers grabbed his throat painfully in response.

"She is _mine_ ," growled Hisoka, his malevolent aura enveloping Leorio, "mine to do what I please, and when I please."

"Maybe not yet…" he added, his voice more calm, "but very soon… I'll have it all for myself, that wonderful mind that burns so bright… and the taste of this moment… oooh… it will be _exquisite_. _"_ Hisoka's voice was close to a moan as he released his hold on Leorio's neck, both clawed hands clasped on his chest.

Leorio's eyes widened in horror. He suspected Hisoka's interest meant nothing good, but never in his wildest dreams did he realize it was this bad. He did not want to think what Hisoka meant by 'mine' in this particular case. He knew enough about the man to know he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted and he cursed the moment when his friends appeared at their doorstep with this madman, seeking help.

"Mine…" Hisoka's whisper dissolved into the still air in the room, a strange, faraway look on his face. He looked back at Leorio, his mouth widening in his trademark maniacal grin, startling the doctor; it was as if he morphed into another person, only to come back to his usual self in a split second.

Leorio felt numb and his mind went into an overdrive. He had to think of something. Hisoka tilted Leorio's chin up, forcing him to look him in the eye once more.

"I can hear you thinking, Leorio…" he said, a knowing smile on his face, "Don't try to stop me… I'm a patient individual, but I might lose control around her if you push me too hard…"

The threat in Hisoka's voice was almost palpable, and Leorio knew he'd lost for now. He slowly nodded, feeling defeated. _For now,_ he thought, _only for now. I'll find a way._

Hisoka's wide smirk was infuriating.

"Just so you know…" he added, "All you've accomplished was solidifying my intent. Now… now thanks to you, I have reconfirmed she's worth my time, and I won't give up. Remember that next time you try something… reckless." He finished, and left the room.

Outside, Hisoka smiled victoriously. Leorio wouldn't be a problem for a while. Now, to the task at hand – to reel his pretty doctor back in. He was up for the challenge. He asked himself if he'd be able to follow through with his threat if push came to shove and to his own surprise he discovered that most likely he wouldn't. He wouldn't want to hurt Aada, he decided, his smile now more pensive. Leorio, however, did not need to know that tiny detail. He went towards the guest room he was staying in, humming quietly, already too busy scheming to stop and think just what exactly he wanted from his toy, much less understand it.


	12. Dimmed

**Dimmed**

It's been three days, and Aada still wouldn't talk to him, making Hisoka feel restless and angry. He briefly considered leaving; she still hasn't told him to, but he had a feeling she was going to, very soon. Even so, he didn't want to leave yet; not fully understanding why.

He was sitting on the couch, expecting her return, wondering what he'd say, how he could bring back the dynamics he found he missed. The door creaked, and Hisoka looked up expectantly, only to be disappointed when he saw Leorio.

"Where is she?" he asked.

The young doctor sighed.

"She clearly wants nothing to do with you anymore, Hisoka." He replied in a tired voice. "Don't you get bored of this? You really should leave."

"Make me."

Leorio shook his head impatiently.

"I'm too tired for this…" he whispered.

"You never answered my question. Where is she?"

"Still at the hospital. She has a tough surgery… It's been on for over six hours now. The patient, when they brought him in… It's not looking good, but if anybody can do it, it's her."

Hisoka's brows furrowed.

"And you just left her there?"

"She asked me to go!" Leorio sounded angry. "I respect her wishes, unlike you."

Hisoka got up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Leorio.

"None of your business." Snarled the magician. "Try stopping me, if you wish… I'll only be happy to oblige."

He left the house quickly, and ran. He'd learned by know the location of Aada's hospital, and even on which floor the surgical ward was; he was good at cataloguing small pieces of information that could always be used for later, like now. After such a long surgery Aada's guard would be down, and finally he could see his chance.

When he arrived, Hisoka opted for getting straight through the window in the corridor on the first floor, not wanting to deal with the hospital security. Several windows were open; he quickly expanded his bungee gum to reach one of the windowsills and sprang into the air. He landed on the floor quietly and walked towards the surgical ward. It was empty this late at night and the lights were dimmed; Aada's surgery must have been the last one for now. As he approached, he could hear two female voices.

"… so sorry." Said a tired, strained voice he immediately recognized. "Is there anything I can…"

The sentence was interrupted by a painful, long sound, like a howl of a wounded animal. Hisoka came closer and stopped, witnessing the scene in front of him. A young, blonde woman stood in front of Aada, tears streaming down her face, her fists clenching.

"You killed him!" she screamed, "You killed him!"

Hisoka could see all colour draining from Aada's face. She looked at the woman in front of her, eyes wide, as if she has just hit her. He felt a pang of anger for he was sure Aada did not deserve this harsh treatment. He knew her. If she could, she would have saved that man, apparently a friend or a family member of that impudent trash currently offending her. Suddenly, he felt a spike of bloodlust and fought hard to suppress it, knowing killing the patient's next of kin would erase any chance he had at getting closer to Aada again, no matter how much he wanted it at that moment.

The woman stormed out of the ward, not paying any attention to him. Hisoka watched Aada slump against the wall until she was sitting on the floor. She wrapped her arms around herself, visibly shaking. His mind replayed the words Aada shared with him a while back.

 _I am not omnipotent. Sometimes I can't win, and when that happens… there's nothing… nothing that can compare to that feeling._

Hisoka felt anger again, and with no further hesitation followed the woman who caused his toy to look like this, so broken. Aada didn't have to know.

The woman wasn't sure what happened. One moment she was walking out of the ward, crying, and the next one she got slammed into the wall. Hisoka grabbed her by the throat and lifted her off the ground.

"You worthless scum." The magician's voice was quiet, but deadly. He let out a bit of the bloodlust he felt and let it envelop the woman, pleased when he saw how terrified she was. She deserved it.

"You are not even worthy of her attention." He spat, "You're beneath her. You should be grateful she tried to save him, whoever he was."

"M… my husband…" the woman croaked.

Hisoka's eyes narrowed.

"I don't care about your husband." He said calmly. "Or you. I really, really am tempted to dispose of you… Know it won't happen only thanks to her. So, in a way, she still saved a life tonight."

The woman looked slightly relieved, but Hisoka wasn't done.

"If you try to slander her, cause any trouble…" he continued, "I will find you. Do you understand me? I am not as magnanimous as she is."

After receiving a slow nod, Hisoka let go and the woman fell to the floor clutching at her throat, wheezing. Hisoka turned around and left, accompanied by the sound of choked sobs, and forgot about her as soon as he turned the corner.

He walked back towards the ward, and found Aada in the same place he left her. He watched her carefully, wondering what to do. She was still sitting on the floor, her shoulders shaking, eyes downcast, but she wasn't crying. One of her fists was clenching and unclenching as she was trying to calm her breathing. Hisoka felt strange and uneasy and only after a moment was he able to decipher why – he didn't like seeing her hurt like this. It was hard for him to accept the sudden need to shield somebody else from harm, just for the sake of doing it, with no other benefit; he decided he'd come back to his original plan later. Not now. He slowly approached Aada and sat on his haunches next to her.

"Little pine…" he said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

Aada looked up, her eyes unseeing. Hisoka felt lost, unsure how to act. Her eyes slowly regained focus.

"Hisoka…" she whispered. "I lost."

The magician watched her closely, then sat on the floor next to her and gradually, hesitantly pulled her into his lap. Aada latched onto him, seeking comfort, feeling defeated, forgetting she wanted to keep her distance, pushing what Leorio had told her to the back of her mind.

Hisoka's arms slowly closed around her.

"I know you…." He said. "I know you. If you couldn't do it, nobody else could."

He wasn't honest, as many times before, but for the first time he lied to make somebody feel better and the realization surprised him. A face flashed briefly in Hisoka's mind; pink hair, blue eyes. Machi probably could save that man, but she wouldn't care enough to try, unless properly compensated. And even then, most likely she couldn't do it without Aada's instructions; without determination and knowledge, nen was just a tool.

For the first time, he thought of Machi with slight distaste; the one he was holding now may seem defeated, but somehow she still seemed stronger, more powerful that the woman he used to admire and want for himself. Now that he thought of it, in comparison to Aada Machi seemed a bit bland, dispassionate. Boring. She was a doll, only doing Chrollo's bidding and Hisoka struggled to remember what was it that had drawn him to her in the first place. Was it her brilliant use of nen? Take that away and what was left?

Aada wrapped her arms around him and hid her face in the crook of his neck, and Hisoka's arms tightened around her even more. She was vibrant, intelligent, complex and didn't let anybody change her beliefs. She didn't need nen to be brilliant; even without it, she outshone Machi in every aspect. Hisoka didn't know how to comfort her, he had no experience, but he knew he wanted to, and accepted it.

"I know why you told Leorio to go." He said, quite sure he was right. "You analysed all potential outcomes before you started the surgery, and you didn't want him to see you like this in case the worst one came true. You didn't want him to worry. This is something you face every day, isn't it? Because of something that happened in your past."

For a while there was no reply, and then Hisoka could feel Aada nodding slowly.

"You understand me, don't you." She whispered.

"I believe I do." He said, once again feeling some sort of connection between them, contradicting everything he wanted when he started his game.

"Come, little pine…" he added, "I'll take you home."

Aada didn't protest when he got up, taking her with him, still holding her close as he carried her down the dark corridor. She closed her eyes, her hand grabbing his shirt as she realized that back when she was sitting on the floor, alone, defeated, hurt, despite everything Leorio had told her, despite her decision to distance herself from Hisoka, she still wanted him to come find her and comfort her.

In turn, Hisoka pondered that although he was attracted to Aada's strength, for some reason her current vulnerability did nothing to diminish his interest. Her breathing was slow and deep now, indicating she fell asleep, still clutching the fabric of his shirt in her hand. He stopped for a while, feeling Aada's body shift slightly in the rhythm of her breathing. She trusted him, enough to want to be close to him, enough to be completely unguarded when he was around. As he realized that, Hisoka felt an unfamiliar pull, a thirst for something that remained a mystery for him. After a while, he shook his head and continued walking. He'd worry about that the next day.


	13. Bittersweet

**Bittersweet**

The next day, Aada stayed in her room and refused to come out, and Hisoka couldn't stand it. It unnerved him; apparently he could do nothing to make it stop. To him, a loss of life was nothing, especially when it was an insignificant being he knew nothing about, someone who couldn't hold his interest. Aada, however, seemed inconsolable. She chose to stay alone in her bedroom, not wanting to see any of them, even Leorio.

Hisoka didn't like it one bit. He was sitting at the kitchen table, long legs stretched underneath it, his fingers drumming on the worn wood impatiently. He took a sip of his coffee and shot an accusing look at the other mug on the table, the one he made for Aada. He was getting annoyed; he remembered how she liked her coffee – black, strong and bitter, and prepared it just so, even if to him the taste was disgusting; but apparently she didn't appreciate the sentiment. She didn't even let him into her room.

 _Life can be bitter enough._

The surprising thought caught him off guard and he eyed his own mug, filled with coffee, cream and four teaspoons of sugar, wondering if this was the reason why he liked all things sweet, including his favourite childhood treat that he named his power after. His hand clenched into a fist as his thoughts drifted back to the woman locked in her room, alone with her grief and defeat. He was sure she'd bounce back, but he wasn't patient enough to wait. Aada was supposed to pay attention to him, not wallow in misery over losing a patient. He comforted her yesterday; today, he wanted her back. He stood up, decision made, intent on going to her and putting an end to the situation, whether she liked it or not.

"Leave her alone." Leorio's firm voice stopped him in his tracks. Hisoka slowly turned around to see the doctor standing in the other doorway.

"Oh?" he asked, "Why would I?"

Leorio's eyes narrowed angrily.

"You don't understand, Hisoka." He said, "You cannot understand what this death means to her. So please, leave her be."

"Is that so?" Hisoka's brows furrowed in annoyance, "Why don't you enlighten me then?"

Leorio sighed.

"You really want to know?"

Hisoka snarled in response.

"Say what you have to say, Leorio, or stay out of this."

Leorio nodded, in a tired, sad movement.

"It wasn't like that with her before. But since last year, every time she loses a patient, she remembers Henn. The reason why she strives so much to excel as a doctor." He explained.

Hisoka's head tilted to the side, in a clear sign of not understanding Leorio's meaning.

"She didn't tell you." The doctor smiled knowingly, infuriating the magician further. "Figures. You know close to nothing about what drives her."

"I know her well enough." Hisoka's anger was evident in his tone.

"Is that so? Henn was the man she loved. Someone she was supposed to marry." said Leorio, feeling strangely satisfied seeing Hisoka's anger. "And she watched him die, felt helpless, just like this woman yesterday did. She couldn't do anything about it. She probably still loves him, after all this time… She still wears her engagement ring, after all…"

The doctor's voice faded away suddenly; all Hisoka could hear was a low buzz. His eyes widened as his body fought a sudden, unexpected surge of rage and jealousy, pointless feelings directed towards a dead man. He knew all along Aada had a story like that in her past, he understood it when several times she was on the verge of sharing something, and then stopped. Still, it did nothing to abate the rage he felt, his first reaction being a thought that this Henn was lucky to be dead, otherwise Hisoka would kill him now for monopolizing the feelings of the one he wanted for himself. Aada was his prize, his precious toy that needed to submit to him and only be his. She wasn't supposed to pine after a dead man; she was supposed to love HIM now.

He stopped that train of thought, surprised. Love? Was this what he wanted from her all along? He didn't know much about love; he'd been attracted to several people, he briefly wanted something more from Machi, he even did fancy Illumi for a short while, but never loved them. At least, he was pretty sure he didn't; he wasn't quite sure how it would feel. But from what he knew, love was supposed to make one do anything for the person who held their heart. Anything. And then, he understood – yes, he needed Aada to love him, to pay attention only to him, convincing himself that he wanted it only so he would use that feeling to his advantage, to get what he ultimately wanted. To manipulate her. And to do this, he needed to shake her out of this mood, and offer something that would tie her closer to him. A grin slowly spread on his face.

"You're her friend, yet you don't know her nearly as well as I do, Leorio." He mused. "How curious."

"Is there a bridge nearby?" He asked.

Leorio looked at him as if the magician sprouted a second head.

"What…?" he asked, disbelieving.

Hisoka snarled.

"I asked if there was a bridge nearby. Don't make me repeat myself."

"Huh?" replied Leorio automatically, "There is one, several kilometers to the east, but…" He didn't finish his sentence; Hisoka was already out of the room.

* * *

The door to Aada's bedroom opened, revealing Hisoka on the doorstep. She looked up from where she was sitting on the floor, her face marred by tears. There was a bottle of wine next to her, but it looked untouched.

"I'm grateful for what you did yesterday." She said, her voice dimmed and tired. "But I want to be left alone."

Hisoka shook his head and tried to dismiss the sudden feeling that washed over him; just as the night before, seeing her stricken by pain was making him uneasy; he couldn't put his finger on it – it felt like lack of satisfaction, impatience, but also a sudden need to stop her pain.

"No." he said.

Aada shook her head tiredly.

"Hisoka…" she pleaded, "I'm not in the mood for our games now."

 _Our games?_ He thought, _Of course she'd know, at least part of it. I should never underestimate her._

He completely ignored her plea; he came closer and knelt in front of her. He took her face in his hands and looked her in the eye firmly.

"No." he repeated, "I'm not letting you wallow in this a second longer."

That said, he scooped Aada in his arms, ignoring her protests, rose from the floor and chose to jump through the open window, not willing to fend off the overprotective Leorio who surely lurked somewhere in the corridor outside her room. As soon as he hit the ground, he started running eastward.

"What the hell are you doing?! Let me go!" Aada tried hitting him and make him let go of her, but to no avail; his hold was much too strong. He simply ignored her and kept running, and after another minute of futile attempts to free herself, Aada gave up. She hadn't known Hisoka long, but she already understood that when he was bent on doing something, she could do nothing to stop him, so she could either keep hitting him and hurt herself or ignore him and wait it out. She closed her eyes and lay her head on his shoulder, choosing the second option. Hisoka smiled his signature, wide grin, as he kept running down the road.

"There." He said, setting her down. Aada opened her eyes; they were on a bridge, spanning high above the tumultuous river. She looked at Hisoka questioningly.

"Why in the earth did you bring me here?" she asked.

Hisoka snaked his arm around her waist and jumped up to stand on the railing, taking her with him, and helping her keep her balance. Aada looked down at the river so far down below, and then at Hisoka, her eyes wide and scared, her body shaking. Her knees felt weak and she knew he was the only thing between her and a long plunge.

"What… what's the meaning of this?"

Hisoka regarded her calmly.

"Do you feel in control now?" he asked.

She looked at him, not understanding.

"Answer my question, little pine."

Aada shook her head, biting her lip.

"No," she said, "I don't."

Hisoka nodded.

"Good. You have no control over what's happening. I'm in control now – I can either hold you, or push you and make you fall." His mouth quivered as he felt her arms snaking around his neck involuntarily.

"You didn't kill that man." He said firmly, immediately noticing her body tensed even more.

"Look down." He continued, "And now answer me: did you do everything in your power to save him?"

She whispered something, her voice muted by the tumult of the river flowing over the granite bedrock.

"Louder."

Aada looked at him, her demeanor quickly changing to angry and defiant.

"Yes!" she shouted, "I did everything, is that what you wanted to hear?! I might as well have killed him myself! I trained, pushed myself, and then pushed some more, so that no one has to go through what I did. I did everything and I was still useless!"

Hisoka smiled, unnerving her even more.

"That's not all there is to it, is there?" he asked.

Aada bit her lip, unwilling to answer.

"You are mostly distressed because your patient died and you couldn't save him. But not being able to win hurt your pride and angered you, as it made you consider your skills insufficient. Am I right?" he asked, knowing the answer, because that's how he'd feel in her place, and she was so much like him in some aspects.

Aada hesitated, but then nodded, her eyes downcast.

"Yes," said Hisoka, "You did everything you could. And he still died; not because you didn't try, or because you didn't push yourself enough, or because your skills are lacking. He died because he was too broken and it was beyond your control. Accept it."

He grabbed her chin, forcefully making her look at him. Aada was shivering, scared, not understanding why he'd make her understand the truth by endangering her.

"Look at me." Hisoka said, his golden gaze hard, "You cannot choose who you can save. You will save many, but some will die, regardless of what you do. Death is not something you can fully control. Let it go."

"And let _him_ go." He added, and Aada's eyes widened, immediately understanding what he meant. How did he know…? She looked down, her thoughts running at the same pace as the cold current below the tall bridge. How did Hisoka know her so well? How did he know what to say, and when? Suddenly, she heard his voice much closer, right in her ear, as his arms tightened around her.

"He's gone. I am here now. Forget him." he whispered, "And now, let everything go."

And with that, he jumped.

Aada choked on her own scream, discovering that the stories about life flashing before one's eyes when facing death were very true, though her mind chose to be selective. Henn. Hours by his bedside. The horrifying sense of helplessness. Grief. Hours of pouring down medical texts. A promise inked on her skin, a promise to heal, protect. Safety, comfort, friendship. Excitement. Waking up from a long slumber. Henn, Leorio, Hisoka… their faces danced in front of her mind's eye, spinning in a mad circle as she rushed through the air. Henn, Leorio, Hisoka… Henn, Leorio, Hisoka… Hisoka. How strange that it was his face that her mind decided to freeze in a still frame when she knew she was going to die.

Falling down to meet her end in the cold river, Aada felt scared, but also strangely liberated. Only she did not die. Instead, she felt a strong pull right before they hit the surface, and their bodies were hoisted by an unseen force. She remembered now what Hisoka's ability was. She should have known better. When they started falling again, she became hyperaware of everything, the swoosh of the air around them, Hisoka's strong embrace, the fabric of his shirt that she was clutching with one of her hands, and suddenly she felt absolutely, and inexplicably free.

Everything was blurry – her glasses flew off her face when they were falling, but somehow it only added to the feeling of sudden and giddy lightheadedness. The motion springing them upwards repeated, and she started laughing, choking on air, feeling Hisoka's arms tightening around her even more. This man, the one her best friend warned her about, gave her something nobody else could – a way out of the hole she dug herself in to wallow in her grief. He wasn't walking on eggshells around her like the others, he forcefully yanked her out and made her better. Hisoka the magician – true to his name.

The movement slowed down, and then came to a halt, and the same unseen force hoisted them back up to the bridge. Hisoka jumped off the railing, only then relinquishing his hold on Aada. She moved away at first, but then approached him slowly as she couldn't see him well from a distance. He smiled at her, his eyes gleaming mischievously. Aada looked at him, taking in the wide grin, the golden eyes, the silvery droplets falling from his red hair onto the pale skin of his neck. The experience he gave her was cathartic in its nature and it indeed helped her let go. However, she thought, he probably did not realize just how much he succeeded.

With that thought, Aada closed the distance between them, reached out to grab Hisoka's face, pulled him down to her level, and kissed him. Hisoka froze for a second, enough for Aada to doubt herself and start to pull away. In a flash, his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back. For a moment, she could feel him smirking against her lips, before he angled her face and deepened the kiss. Her senses were overflowing with the feel of him, his earthy, smoky, sweet scent, strong arms holding her with bruising force, his mouth, cool and smooth on her own, his tongue moving along with hers, the spicy-sweet taste of him. Kissing Hisoka was like nothing she'd ever experienced; it was violent, overwhelming, it was drowning and coming back up for air at the same time, and in that moment she understood it was already too late for her.

The kiss was intoxicating; she knew she was the one who initiated it, but the sudden realization of her feelings meant she had to stop and think about her actions more for now. All that Leorio had told her; Hunter Exams, the Phantom Troupe… she should be doubting her sanity, she knew what the rational thing to do was, yet she couldn't help that this… whatever it was, felt right. She was certain that for Hisoka it was some kind of a game, its goal still eluding her, but for her it wasn't a game anymore.

Unaware of her inner turmoil, Hisoka enjoyed the moment. He was surprised at first when Aada kissed him; he didn't expect his actions to bear fruit so quickly. He wouldn't complain though, he was one step closer to his goal. The thoughts of submission and domination subsided gradually, and the magician noticed he rather enjoyed the feel of Aada's lips against his, the way she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled at it to bring him even closer. He did not kiss and was not kissed often. On rare occasions of closeness between him and others he would go straight for satisfying his needs, and kissing felt too intimate to fit that picture. So when Aada placed her palm on his chest and gently pushed him back, he was surprised with his own disappointment at the loss of contact.

Aada looked up, her eyes meeting his, and she smiled a little, delicate smile that he immediately catalogued as another one that belonged only to him.

"Thank you." She said simply, and turned around to walk back home. She paused for a second and looked back at him. "Find my glasses, will you?" she tried to suppress a smile, and failed miserably.

Hisoka tilted his head to one side, feeling a little impatient, but after a while he rationalized he should not follow her. She needed to feel safe with him, so he'd allow her the slower pace. For now.


	14. Drops of Red

**Drops of Red**

Leorio kept looking from the kitchen window, his worried look focused on the road leading to the clinic. He paid little attention to Kurapika, who was accompanying him. He knew he should have followed Hisoka; when he arrived at Aada's room, they were both gone. It's been over an hour now, and he started considering looking for them. He didn't like the thought of Aada being alone with that man for too long. The magician asked about the nearest bridge, that's where he could go first.

His eyes widened as he noticed a slim silhouette on the road, approaching the house. Aada. She was alone and Leorio sighed in relief. She was walking towards the porch unhurriedly, her pace strangely hesitant and unsteady. Leorio's brows furrowed before he noticed she had no glasses on. She stopped at the porch and leaned forward, resting her arms on the balustrade, a small smile on her face. Soon enough, Leorio noticed someone else approaching the house, and he didn't have to look closer to know who that was. His fists clenched angrily as he got up and started walking towards the door.

A strong hold on his elbow stopped him in his tracks.

"You cannot protect her forever, Leorio." Kurapika's voice was firm as he looked up at his friend with a serious expression on his face. "She is a grown woman, entitled to making her own decisions."

Leorio looked slightly angry and uncomfortable.

"Even if I know her choices may be wrong?" he asked bitterly. "Even if I know they might lead to a huge mistake?"

Kurapika nodded slowly.

"Yes," he confirmed. "Even then. You are her friend. All you can do is talk to her, and support her according to how the situation unfolds. Leave the choices to her."

Leorio closed his eyes briefly before looking back at Kurapika.

"I already tried talking to her." He admitted. "I thought it worked. She kept her distance for a while, but then…" he stopped, unsure if he should share more.

"What happened, Leorio?" Kurapika's voice sounded worried as he squeezed Leorio's hand reassuringly. "You know you can tell me anything, right? But only if you want to."

Leorio sighed tiredly, his eyes downcast.

"Hisoka noticed Aada was growing more and more distant and confronted me." He explained. "He knew it was me, that I told her something about him. He was furious."

Kurapika's eyes widened slightly, swirls of red mixing with the usual grey of his irises.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked, his fist clenching.

"Not really." Leorio shook his head. "But he threatened me. He told me not to stand between him and something he wanted. He implied he'd hurt Aada if I didn't stop meddling."

Kurapika raised his hand slowly and his fingers grazed Leorio's cheek, before he realized what he was doing and quickly hid his hand behind his back. Leorio looked at him, surprise written all over his face, but did not comment.

"Of course he'd say that." Said Kurapika quietly, avoiding Leorio's gaze. "You wouldn't stop if he threatened you, would you? He analyzed you, and chose the only threat he knew you'd respond to. It doesn't mean he'd actually hurt her."

"Do you really think so?" Leorio sounded hopeful, immediately forgetting Kurapika's unusual behavior from seconds before.

Kurapika nodded.

"Do you know how Aada came back home from the hospital yesterday?" he asked, and seeing Leorio shaking his head, he continued. "Hisoka carried her home. I don't think he noticed my presence, I was careful. She was sleeping when they arrived. If he wanted to hurt her, he would have already, I think."

Seeing Leorio's baffled expression, Kurapika squeezed his hand again.

"I'm not saying we should just let him do whatever he wants." He reassured. "He is dangerous, we both know that. I still think he'll just get bored soon and leave, but if you'd like me to, I'll stay for as long as he remains, just in case."

Without thinking, Leorio wrapped his arms around Kurapika and hugged him, not noticing the delicate blush that immediately dusted his friend's cheeks.

"Thank you, Kurapika. I'd like that."

"It's… nothing." Kurapika's voice was barely above whisper as he sighed and relaxed in Leorio's embrace. "That's what friends are for."

* * *

Outside, Aada closed her eyes and enjoyed the last rays of the sun, slowly relaxing in its warmth as her mind went back to what has just transpired between her and the magician. Another face flashed in her thoughts and she felt a pang of guilt. Henn. She was wondering what he'd have to say about the situation she found herself in, and although she still missed him, the pain caused by his loss wasn't as acute as before, a clear indicator that she started moving on. She'd always remember him, and miss him, but now there was someone else. It wasn't a slow process; Hisoka pushed his way into her life and drew her in, and although the emotional side of her felt excited, the rational side kept reminding her that most likely she was in trouble. She wasn't sure what Hisoka's motives were, but she had a suspicion what they each of them wanted was very different.

She felt his scent before she could hear him, amazed he could move so quietly. One moment she was alone with her own thoughts, and the other he was behind her, his smoky sweet scent enveloping her and disturbing her concentration. Aada bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling when she felt the frame of her glasses being pushed against the bridge of her nose.

"Thank you." She said, readjusting her glasses immediately.

"You're welcome." Hisoka's voice sounded amused. "I'm glad you made your way back home without incident, little pine. I took some time reminding myself of my rusty first aid skills, thinking I'd find you in a ditch with a broken leg."

Aada rolled her eyes and moved her hand quickly, jabbing the magician in the ribs with her elbow. He chuckled in response, but then immediately grabbed her wrist, holding her hand in place. Aada's body tensed and she felt slightly uncomfortable.

"What is it that you want from me, Hisoka?" she asked suddenly.

"What would you like me to want?" he purred, moving closer and nuzzling his face in her hair, inhaling the lingering scent of pine resin and incense. Back at the bridge he decided to give her more time, but now he wanted to push her some more, his needs and wants changing quickly in line with his mercurial temper.

Aada turned around, facing him. Hisoka immediately leaned towards her, but she put her hand flat on his chest, stopping him.

"I think I know what it is I want." She said. "But I don't think you do."

Hisoka opened his mouth to speak, but Aada stopped him, pressing her index finger against his lips.

"I need time." She added quietly. "And you probably need it too."

She stepped back and turned around to enter the house, only to be grabbed by her shoulders and pushed against the wall, one of Hisoka's arms pressed against the wall next to her face, and his other hand blocking her way near her waist as he leaned towards her again.

"I don't need time." It was getting dark, and Hisoka's eyes gleamed in the absence of sunlight.

He was very close, his warmth seeping through her shirt, and Aada could feel her heart hammering against her ribs. It would be so easy to get carried away, to loose herself in him; but at this point in her life, she had enough self-preservation to recognise she needed some time on her own.

"You may not need it, fine." She replied. "But I definitely do." She took him by the wrist delicately and removed his hand from the wall, and then went inside.

Hisoka's face contorted in anger, a brief memory of blue eyes regarding him dispassionately flashing in his mind.

 _I wish you'd just stop. I'm not interested, nor will I ever be._

Hisoka felt confused, his bloodlust rising, unsure why he reacted so violently to words that shouldn't have had any impact on him. He wanted Aada to stay, temporarily forgetting his schemes in light of being denied what he wanted. He turned around abruptly and walked into the darkness, slowly letting his bloodlust engulf him. He started running and didn't stop until he reached the outskirts of the city where Aada's hospital was. He slowed down and walked towards downtown, now carefully masking his bloodlust. He reached a back alley behind a club, the low beat of the music that could be heard from inside loud enough to reverberate in his bones. He closed his eyes and waited until he could hear footsteps, just as he had hoped he would; the sound was faint, almost drowned out by the loud music. There were at least five of them, circling around him, unaware that they were no longer the most dangerous predators at these hunting grounds. He smirked, still not opening his eyes. As many times before, he got underestimated, his baggy clothing hiding his toned figure in the dark, his make up giving an impression he was weird, and harmless. They were close now, and Hisoka finally opened his eyes, meeting the gaze of one of his would be attackers. The man froze immediately, instinctively realising his mistake, but it was too late. A card flashed to existence in Hisoka's hand as he spun around, and disappeared again before the bodies hit the pavement. He took a deep breath and stretched his arms. This was no real challenge, but it was enough to calm him down, at least for now. His thoughts drifted back to Aada; just like with Chrollo, the more his intended prey eluded him, the more he wanted it. He felt the rush of anticipation again. He walked slowly back to the clinic, enjoying the cool night air, gears in his mind turning, analysing, planning, forcefully pushing back his earlier thoughts.

* * *

It was a dark Saturday morning; the clouds were rolling heavily over the ground scorched by the summer heat in a promise of rain. Aada stood in front of a granite head stone, her hair dancing in the wind, her hand clutching at the open bottle of wine. She shouldn't be drinking that early, but disregarded it. She felt guilty the day before; that morning she got up early to avoid the magician and take some time to think, and this seemed a proper place to do that. There was no one else in the cemetery this early, it was calm and quiet, as if these grounds were removed from the outside world. She placed a single red rose on top of the monument, and then touched it smiling gently.

"I haven't come to see you for a while, Henn." She said quietly. "I'm sorry."

She sat down on the ground, her back against the stone. She took a swig from the bottle, and rested her head against the cold granite. She didn't believe in afterlife and so she didn't think that Henn was watching over her or listening to her. Still, this has never stopped her from thinking of and talking to her parents when she missed them. She really wanted to talk to Leorio, but was hesitant to do that, thinking he'd be angry with her, and that left only one other person she trusted. She took another sip of wine and closed her eyes, feeling more than a little awkward, unsure it would work. He was gone, but she wished that against reason he could hear her.

 _I met someone, Henn. I hope you're not angry that I am starting to move on, only after a year… That's what you told me to do, I know, but I never wanted this, I didn't expect it to happen at all, and surely not so fast._

 _I don't know how it happened, really. You meet someone, you spend time with them, and then, one day, while you're making tea, reading a paper, water plants or anything else completely mundane, you suddenly realize you'd rather stay with that one person as long as you can. That's how it was. He crept up on me, you know?_

Aada sighed and opened her eyes, looking into the distance. She reached behind her head to caress the gravestone as she took several long gulps from the bottle.

 _His name is Hisoka. Maybe I have a soft spot for men whose names start with an H?_

She chuckled quietly, but then suddenly grew serious. She closed her eyes again and her fingers dug into the dry ground as she bit her lip. This was pointless, and did not help, just like she suspected. There was no afterlife, Henn was gone, and despite having proclaimed she needed time, she already knew what she wanted; there was no escape from it. She wanted Hisoka. She considered him amazing; complex, strong, intelligent, driven. She wanted to keep discovering him, layer after layer, because he motivated her, pushed her to be stronger and to surpass her boundaries, because he never bored her. She thought he was beautiful, more than he knew, and that those around him did not grasp how unique he was. She wanted all of him, no matter what Leorio had told her before.

Still, she didn't feel happy. Hisoka was playing a game with her and if she were to be honest with herself, she caught on pretty quickly, and although she still wasn't sure was his goal was, she liked the distraction he offered. He had been bored, and a mind of this caliber couldn't bear to feel restless for long. To him, she was something to help keep boredom at bay. Her current situation was her own fault – she let him get to her too much. She threw her head back and kept drinking, the cool liquid helping her relax, her head buzzing as her thoughts kept running, swirling faster and faster the more she drank.

For a brief moment, despite reason, Aada hoped that in time Hisoka would start caring enough to want to stay with her, and it made her feel pathetic and disgusted with herself. She would never ask him to stay, she couldn't, she was too proud for that. Once he's had his fill, Hisoka would leave, and she had to accept it. Uncharacteristically for her rational nature, she decided she'd worry about that later. For now, she wanted to spend more time with him.

Aada opened her eyes again, and got up slowly. She raised her bottle in a silent salute, and then tipped it to the side, letting the rest of its contents spill on the ground. She patted the stone affectionately, before she turned around and left.

The clouds amassed, the distant sound of thunder and stronger gusts of wind heralding the arrival of rain. Barely a minute later, the rain started falling in lazy, big drops, before gaining its pace, dissolving the wine that mixed with the loose, airy ground. The scorched earth absorbed the water hungrily, pushed down by heavy, decisive steps approaching the headstone.

Hisoka bent down and picked up the red rose that had fallen from the headstone. He looked at it for a long while, before clenching his fist, crushing it, relishing the feeling of thorns piercing his skin. He raised his head and looked at the headstone angrily.

 _She's not yours anymore,_ he thought, suppressing the urge to smash it, _You can't help it. Fade away._

Hisoka's head snapped up and he looked around cautiously. For a brief, fleeting moment, he had an impression that someone was watching him. He quickly expanded his aura, searching the nearby area, but found nothing. He breathed in deeply and forced himself to relax. He opened his hand, red petals falling to the ground, coated with his blood.

 _She's mine. Not yours._ That was his last thought as blood, water and wine soaked into the ground, a silent offering for the one that lay beneath, and Hisoka turned around to follow Aada.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Thank you for your continued support, and all the feedback I've been receiving. _


	15. Black and White

**A/N:** _Apologies for not updating earlier - I was travelling a lot last week. So to make up for it, the longest chapter so far. I hope you'll enjoy it._

* * *

 **Black and White**

As he watched the rivulets of blood dissolving in water, Hisoka tried to understand his own reactions, particularly why he was feeling so possessive towards his toy. He did feel possessive to a certain degree of the people he yearned to fight – he was angry with Illumi when the assassin wanted to kill Gon, and he would be furious if somebody else killed Chrollo before he had an opportunity to fight him; still, as long as he knew they'd become his prey one day, he was fine with following their progress from a distance while planning his next move, concentrating on temporary distractions in the meantime. Why did it feel different this time? He didn't know. Maybe it felt different because it wasn't about an actual, physical fight, he mused; manipulation and subterfuge took much longer to prove satisfactory and required more attention. Yes, he decided, that was the reason why he was so obsessed with being the focus of his toy's attention this time. He nodded, satisfied with his reasoning, and looked down. His long nails proved pretty effective in removing the thorns. It didn't hurt much, but for some reason the thorns irked him and put him on edge. He heard a sound of light footsteps and quickly pushed the thorns down the drain.

"What are you doing?"

"It's nothing, little pine." For the first time since he'd met her, Hisoka wasn't keen on talking to Aada, and he didn't know why.

Aada did not understand that, or simply ignored the coldness behind his words. She walked towards him and her eyes widened in surprise.

"You're hurt. What happened?" she reached out to take his injured hand, but he immediately moved it away.

"I said it was nothing."

Aada looked up at him, frowning.

"It's not nothing." She said, her voice steely and decisive just like the night he met her. "You're bleeding, and washing your wound in a kitchen sink. Hardly a wise choice."

"Come." She added, her fingers closing around the wrist of his uninjured hand. "Let me take care of this."

She tried leading him out of the kitchen, but he wouldn't move. Aada looked him in the eye, her gaze softening as she covered his hand with hers.

"Let me take care of you, Hi-so-ka."

Hearing Aada call him by the pet name she gave him made Hisoka feel strange. He realized she hasn't used it much in the past two days, and that he liked it when she did and the feeling of familiarity it brought, and enjoyed the thought that she wanted to relieve what she considered painful for him, not knowing how high his pain threshold was. He slowly nodded, not sure what he wanted to say.

Aada kept holding his hand as she led him to the exam room and Hisoka discovered he didn't mind it as much as he thought he would; her grip was calm and reassuring, soothing, just like few weeks back, when he couldn't see. In the room, she led him to the chair and gently pushed him down, only then letting go of him as she went to gather her supplies. She then sat down next to him, and prepared the gauze. She looked up at him and smiled.

"You're so much trouble, Hi-so-ka."

Hisoka understood what she was unconsciously doing, stepping back in their previous routine to feel safer, avoiding what has happened between the two of them recently. Since at the moment he wasn't sure what his next step should be, he decided to indulge her for the time being.

"And you're drunk, little pine." He replied, in an instant invoking his usual smirk. He never found pretending difficult. "I'm not sure I want to be treated by a doctor who's not in their right mind at the moment."

Aada looked outraged and adjusted her glasses in a nervous gesture.

"I'm not drunk."

"Oh?" Hisoka started to find the situation amusing. "I can smell wine. And so early in the day too…"

"Fine." Aada's shoulders slumped. "I did have a drink, with someone important whom I haven't seen for a while. It wasn't that much, and I'm still perfectly capable of taking care of this."

Hisoka's body tensed immediately and he fought a surge of jealousy, the possessiveness he felt toward the object of his game making itself known clearly despite his earlier efforts to rationalize it. Aada didn't notice; she took his injured hand in hers, her touch careful and delicate. She dabbed the small puncture wounds with a gauze doused in antiseptic, and then dressed the magician's hand with a light bandage.

"There." She smiled at him. "You'll live."

Hisoka didn't reply, his eyes downcast as he was doing his best to subdue the bloodlust. He didn't know why even the mention of the man in Aada's past made him so furious, but he knew he didn't want to succumb to anger and break his toy. Not yet. Aada observed him, feeling disappointed by his lack of reaction. Eventually, she turned around and left the room without a word.

* * *

Hisoka sat down in front of the screen that glowed in the dark. He waited until all people in the clinic retired for the day before going to Aada's exam room to use her computer. He opened a browser, and stared at the blinking cursor for a while, wondering what he was doing and why, before he explained his actions as background checking that would help him manipulate his toy. He needed more information to plan his next step, and she wasn't keen on talking about her past. He stopped hesitating immediately, and decided to input his first search criterion based on the little bits of information he already had. Aada had mentioned once she had been orphaned at the age of sixteen, and he had overheard her mentioning a train crash while he was spying on her and Gon talking on the porch a while back.

 _Holme + train crash._

He skipped the first items on the search list, old articles about a train crash in several of Padokian papers, and kept going until he found what he wanted – an article from _Yorkshin Medical Journal_. He remembered Aada's father was a surgeon like her, so the medical magazine was more likely to feature a more detailed article than regular press.

 **A Loss to Medical Community** , the headline spread above a picture of smoke and bent metal in bold, black letters. Hisoka went through the text quickly, looking for bits and pieces that would hold more importance to him.

 _The two trains collided due to a fatal mistake that caused them to run on the same rail track, leaving almost 50 dead in the wake of the crash. Among them, Doctor Gert Holme, a renowned neurosurgeon heading for the annual Yorknew Neurosurgery Conference, accompanied by his wife, Mai._

A black and white photo underneath showed a dark haired man with strong, sharp features, dressed in a suit, his arm around a slim woman wearing a long dress, a flower in her blonde hair. Not only did Aada follow in his footsteps as a doctor, she also looked a lot like her father. Aada's father was looking directly at the person taking the photo, his eyes showing the same inquisitive, decisive look Hisoka could see reflected in Aada's eyes so many times, making him want to know more about the man who'd laid the foundations of who she's become.

The article featured a summary of doctor Holme's education, research and achievements, as well his contributions towards the neurosurgery association he was an active member of. There was a short mention of a question that a colleague had asked the doctor once regarding what his most important achievement was. Apparently, the answer was given immediately. "My daughter." Hisoka nodded in agreement; having read about Aada's father he could see he was formidable in his field, but he knew his toy – she had the potential to surpass him in every aspect. The magician licked his lips, feeling the familiar surge of excitement and anticipation. The thoughts that followed didn't surprise him anymore; he had accepted them as normal in his situation, part of the game he enjoyed. _My toy. My little pine. Mine._

The author of the article made sure to mention Aada's mother as well, although not to the same level of detail. She had been a painter; a reproduction of one of her works surprised Hisoka – her paintings were dark and somewhat disturbing, but beautiful – a stark contrast to how the woman looked. The part dedicated to her ended with a somewhat melancholic quote of the couple's friend, sharing that although at first glance Aada's father and mother seemed polar opposites, him being more grounded and serious whilst her being a wild, creative spirit, often carried away by her art, they were surprisingly similar and complimented each other, making their relationship a happy one. Something about that sentence felt disturbingly familiar to Hisoka; he frowned trying to understand it, but gave up after several minutes of fruitless effort. It probably didn't matter. He went back to the article and the closing sentence immediately got his attention.

" _We've suffered a great loss," said Kai Norman, president of the Padokian Neurosurgery Association. "We've lost one of the most talented neurosurgeons and an amazing, inspirational friend. Our hearts and sincere condolences go to his daughter, Aada."_

There was another picture below; a younger Aada was looking at him from the screen, her eyes big and defenseless without her black frames. Her eyelids were slightly swollen, a clear sign she had been crying shortly before the photo was taken, her gaze lifeless and empty, the deep black and white tone of the photo making her look like a delicate, porcelain doll. She was wearing a black dress, holding a white rose in her hand. In the background, among leafless trees, Hisoka could see a crowd of people also dressed in black, and understood the picture was taken at the funeral. Aada's expression looked raw from pain, and suddenly the magician regressed to the same irrational state as back in the hospital after she had lost her patient - anger and wanting to punish those who hurt her by not only intruding at her personal space, but also putting her grief on display for everyone to see, followed by the need to shield her from harm. He was pretty much her age when Aada had lost her parents; he didn't remember much of who he was back then, but he felt that if he had been there, he would have killed whoever used her like that. He would have taken care of her, just like he did that night at the hospital; he would have taken care of her until all she could see was him. He didn't stop to think why he felt that way; he remembered comforting her felt good and brought him satisfaction.

Hisoka shook his head, trying to rid himself of the unfamiliar feeling, and went on with his search, skimming through other results following Aada getting a scholarship and entering the medical academy, and stopped at a short article about her graduation, the note giving off an air of surprise on how young she was when she completed her education. He scoffed. It did not surprise him in the slightest – his toy was bright, talented and strong, or else he wouldn't want to play with her. He knew more about her now, how loss didn't break her, but made her stronger, how she had to fend for herself, persevered and used obstacles as fuel to develop her talents and smiled, having reconfirmed that he had made the right decision choosing her to relieve him of his boredom and wondering how to use the new information in the nearest future, to what extent and aim could he use this delicious, bright mind and strong will.

He quickly erased his search history and was about to stand up and leave, when he noticed one of the desk drawers was ajar. Always curious and not thinking twice that he was invading his toy's personal space, Hisoka opened the drawer. There were some papers and magazines in it; he went through them without interest, before another object drew his attention. There was a photo frame at the bottom of the drawer, but it was turned so that only the back of the frame could be seen. He took it in his hand and turned it around. As soon as he did, he felt the familiar spike of bloodlust. The photo must have been taken at Aada's graduation day. She was wearing a long, elegant green dress that matched her eyes and she was holding a bouquet of red roses, looking up at her companion. Her hair was loose, cascading down her shoulders, making Hisoka remember the night when he could see her like this himself, more relaxed and unguarded. Next to her was a tall, blonde man with an aquiline nose and deep set, blue eyes. His arm was wrapped tight around Aada's waist as he was looking back at her. Aada's face was lit up with a warm, affectionate smile which only made Hisoka angrier. He knew this smile. This smile was his.

The magician glared at the man next to Aada, hating him for coming back repeatedly, hovering above her even from beyond the grave. His toy was supposed to look at him this way, and only him. Then he could do what he wanted, bend and manipulate her however he wished. He would erase this man, he'd make her forget he ever existed. It had always been easy for him to forget his own past; and if he could do it, so could she.

Hisoka flicked his wrist over the photo, the thin, long tendrils of his aura connecting him to the scene captured years ago. When he removed his hand, he smiled, satisfied, but then frowned all of a sudden, realizing what he'd just done, without thinking. Using his texture surprise, he erased Henn from the picture just like he would erase him from his toy's thoughts, only now there was someone else standing next to her, at the receiving end of her radiant smile. Angry with himself, Hisoka quickly dispersed his aura, returning the photo to its original state. He put it back where he found it and shut the drawer quickly, immediately cursing himself for being careless as the sound carried through the night air. He froze, listening closely and sighed in relief when he heard nothing. Silently, he returned to his room, his thoughts still revolving obsessively around one topic.

* * *

The man on the bed smiled a strained, small smile.

"It's going to be alright, Aada." He said, his breath coming in heavy gasps, blond hair sticking to his forehead. "You're going to be OK."

She didn't register what her reply was, her eyes glued to the machinery he was chained to, to his broken body that refused to heal, feeling helpless and spent. Suddenly, his body tensed and his eyes widened as he was trying to breathe. Aada's mouth was moving, but she couldn't hear anything but the sound of his battered body grinding against the sheets, still pulling at the man's hand long after his breathing stopped, his eyes staring back at her, lifeless.

She shut her eyes, trying to calm down, and failing, knowing that if she wasn't strong enough, his empty gaze would pull her into the abyss she'd never find her way back from. She felt a soothing touch on her shoulder and willed herself to calm down, knowing that it was only a temporary reprieve, that once she was alone, grief and emptiness would hit her with full force. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She gasped, terrified.

Long, pale fingers closed around her hand as slanted, golden eyes stared back at her; blood dripped slowly from the corners of wide, full mouth, and through a torn shirt soaked in red Aada could see deep, wide gashes on the pale skin. Her gaze followed the blood dripping lazily to the floor, gathering in a pool of crimson.

No, she whispered. No. No. No.

Suddenly, she hear a loud noise, something falling on the ground or being dropped against a wooden surface, a sound that didn't belong in the scene she was part of.

"No!" she croaked, her voice hoarse, placing her hand against her chest, feeling the frantic, irregular beat of her heart. She looked around the dark room, terrified, and took several deep breaths. Calm was eluding her, as his words kept replaying in her head.

"It's going to be alright, little pine."

* * *

Unable to go back to sleep, Aada put a robe on and headed towards the kitchen. As she was preparing tea, she noticed one of her hands was shaking slightly and immediately clenched and unclenched it, taking a deep breath and willing herself to calm down. As she was pouring the hot liquid into a cup, she heard light footsteps.

"Could I have some tea as well, please?"

Aada turned around, surprised to see Kurapika in the doorway. She nodded quickly, poured him a cup and motioned for him to sit next to her at the table. She stared into her cup, her finger tracing the rim absentmindedly.

"Can't sleep?" Kurapika's gentle voice made her shake her head and look at him.

"It's OK." He reassured. "I know a thing or two about nightmares."

Aada understood and appreciated what he was doing – offering her a chance to talk, listen, get the burden off her chest, only she didn't know what to say, how to start. She didn't know much about Kurapika; he was Leorio's friend and she enjoyed his calm presence, even if his demeanor felt cold at times. For a man, his face was beautiful and delicate, underlined by some inner sadness she instinctively felt in him. She could see why Leorio was drawn to him, driven by the bond they shared and his naturally protective nature.

"What do you dream about?" she asked eventually.

Kurapika was silent for a while.

"I dream about my family, my childhood friend, my clan." He explained eventually. "I see their crimson eyes, gouged out of their sockets, staring at me from the void. Accusing me of being the only one who survived, angry that I have not avenged them as they deserve."

Aada looked at him, wide eyed, not knowing how to react, hoping that what he'd just shared was only some dark metaphor, not something that had actually happened.

Kurapika smiled sadly.

"Leorio didn't tell you all there is to know about me, I see." He said. "Rightly so. I do not like others talking about me. My clan had been known for generations for our eyes – they become scarlet when our emotions are strong, and the colour is considered to be one of the most beautiful in the world. They all had been slaughtered by the Phantom Troupe while I was away from our village. They had been killed for their eyes, and sold to highest bidders."

Aada gasped, horrified, her thoughts immediately reflecting on her face.

"Oh." Kurapika understood immediately. "He wasn't part of them at the time. He didn't have a hand in my clan's demise. I wouldn't be sharing your home with him so easily if he did, would I?"

Aada nodded.

"Forgive me." She whispered. "I wasn't thinking, and it was selfish of me."

"No, it's fine. He actually helped me when I attempted to get revenge on the Troupe for killing my family. He gave me details about their abilities, and he was informing me of their moves. It was useful for him, making it easier to fight the Troupe's leader – the only reason he joined."

Aada understood. She didn't take Hisoka for a selfless person, and what Kurapika shared made sense to her. Still, she was relieved when Kurapika confirmed the magician had nothing to do with the Kurta clan's demise.

"What happened back then?" she asked.

"Two of them died, and I bound their leader, making it impossible for him to use his nen. You know about nen, don't you?"

Aada nodded.

"It didn't bring me the relief I had hoped for." Continued Kurapika. "Hisoka wasn't happy with me – he wanted to fight the Troupe's leader on equal terms, with access to all his abilities and revealed his part in my plan before he was made aware of my actions. And so now, we're both in the Troupe's crosshairs."

They both remained silent for a while; one wondering why he'd decided to share so much, and attributing it to Leorio's influence, and the other pondering the new information, before she decided to return to a question that bothered her.

"How old were you when your family was killed?" Aada asked quietly.

"I was fourteen." Came an equally quiet response.

Aada fought back tears, and without thinking, she reached out for Kurapika and hugged him. Immediately, she felt his body tense, but she refused to let go, knowing from experience how she had always shied away from touch after losing her parents and then Henn, even though being held helped, wondering how many years Kurapika had gone without anybody to comfort him. After a while, she could feel his body relaxing and he slowly, hesitantly put his arms around her to return the hug.

"Does it ever get easier? The nightmares?" she asked.

"I can go longer periods without them now, but they never really went away." Said Kurapika, gently moving out of her embrace, and straightening up in his seat. Aada could now see firsthand what he told her about – Kurapika's eyes shone a bright, deep crimson, a captivating colour that was beautiful to behold. Still, she couldn't understand how anyone could think such eyes could look beautiful separated from the face, where they were complimented by the emotions.

"I used to dream about my parents, back when they died in the train crash." She confessed. "I was sixteen. With time, I learned to remember only the good things, and my dreams changed."

Kurapika observed her carefully.

"What did you dream about tonight then?"

Aada bit her lip before responding.

"My fiancé, Henn. He died from post-accident injuries a year ago. In my dreams, I see him die, again, and again, and I remember how it felt – helpless, hopeless, when all I could do was sit there and wait for him to pass. I haven't had such a nightmare in weeks; I suppose it had been naïve of me to think such dreams would not come back."

Kurapika covered her hand with his in a silent gesture showing he understood, and was there.

"Thank you." Aada put her other hand on his in return. "I know you understand me… Though I wish you didn't."

"It feels like all the people I love eventually leave me." She added quietly, looking into the distance.

Kurapika squeezed her hand.

"Leorio won't leave you." He said, making Aada smile.

"I know." She replied. "I don't think I would have made it back then without him. He's so loyal, and caring; he's easy to love, isn't he?"

Kurapika stayed silent for a long while.

"…Yes." He agreed eventually. "I suppose he is."

Aada's smile faltered as she remembered the rest of her dream.

"What is it?" asked Kurapika, "There was more to your dream tonight, wasn't there?"

Aada nodded slowly.

"I dreamt of Henn's death, as usual when I have a nightmare. But then… he changed into someone else, and I couldn't bear to see him die as well."

"Hisoka." It was all Kurapika said in response and Aada looked at him, startled. "You care about him, and tonight you realised just how much."

"Leorio is worried about you, as I'm sure you know." He added. "I will be honest with you, as a friend of Leorio's and a friend of yours I'm hoping to become in time. If you decide to pursue Hisoka, to act upon your feelings for him, you will likely get burnt. He is complex, difficult, and mostly concentrated on his own needs. He is interested in you somehow, yes; or else he would've left long ago, but he also grows bored easily, and uses others to his advantage. If you're looking to find the same level of dedication and support you used to receive from Henn, I don't think Hisoka could ever give that to you."

"Thank you for being honest with me." Aada's voice was barely audible.

"I wish I had something else to tell you." Replied Kurapika. "But on the other hand, I don't know everything, nor can I be absolutely certain of what the future holds. Still, you are the only one who can make decisions for yourself, and I'm in no position to judge them as right or wrong."

"I know." Said Aada, and they both took the cups in their hands again, sipping their tea and sharing the rest of the late night hours in silence.

* * *

Aada yawned as she was exiting the hospital's revolving door the next day. Outside, she closed her eyes and stretched her arms in front of her, enjoying the rays of the late afternoon sun. Her body was stiff and tired from lack of sleep and the day at the operating table. She sighed, remembering her dream again. She needed a long, uninterrupted sleep.

"You don't look so good, little pine."

Aada opened her eyes, recognizing the voice immediately, but although the man sitting on a low wall next to the hospital's entrance was familiar, her mouth opened slightly, surprise written all over her face.

"And you look… different, Hi-so-ka."

It was an understatement; ever since she's met him, Hisoka would always wear makeup, as well as his trademark clothes with suit symbols and his hair was usually up in one of the most extravagant styles she's ever seen. Now, his hair was down, the makeup was absent, and he was wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans. He looked good, but not very much like himself, although he did get a fair share of long, pointed looks from some of the female passersby. In just a few seconds, Aada experienced a kaleidoscope of emotions – jealousy and possessiveness, then disappointment and sadness as she realized she had no claim on him and likely she never would.

Hisoka chuckled quietly seeing her startled expression.

"I just felt like trying something else." He said. "Do you approve?"

Aada frowned.

"I'm not sure." She admitted. She walked closer and brushed the hair off his face in a delicate gesture, tiredness making her less guarded. Her fingers traced Hisoka's face where the shapes of a star and a tear could normally be seen. "I think I prefer your usual self. It suits you better."

Hisoka frowned in response, surprised by her comment. He rarely let others see him this way, and usually it did have quite an effect, though the comments he'd get had been vastly different – he'd always hear he looked better this way, without extravagant clothing or makeup. In truth, his toy had felt a little distant as of late and he thought reusing this trick would help drawing her attention back to him. It did, but not in the way he thought it would. He looked at Aada questioningly, waiting for further explanation. She cupped his cheeks with both her hands for a brief moment, her thumbs tracing his skin. All of a sudden, she took the hair tie off her own hair, and gathered Hisoka's hair in her hands, pulling it up and tying it in a high ponytail.

"There, now I can see your face better." She said, "I like the usual, vibrant you. I like it that you are different from anybody I know."

She blinked rapidly, as if waking up and realizing what she was doing, and stepped away from him, and the magician fought the urge to grab her hand and hold it against his face. Her touch felt good. He liked feeling good, although usually he associated the feeling with fighting somebody strong enough to hold his interest. Aada's words struck some distant cord inside him, heavy and coated with dust.

"Why have you come here, Hi-so-ka?" she asked.

"I was bored." Was his immediate reply. It was true for him; he was bored when she wasn't around and wanted to see her. "You left so early and I was all alone with all those boring people at the clinic."

Aada smiled at his words.

"I can't always be there. I have patients I need to take care of, unless you can magically make them disappear."

Hisoka's head tilted to one side.

"I could." He said. "No magic involved."

"It's a nice joke, but it's not possible." Said Aada, smirking.

It wasn't a joke, but the magician felt it wouldn't be prudent to correct her.

"Why are you tired today, little pine?" he asked, wanting to divert her attention to another topic before she caught on; he had a feeling she would have already if not for the tiredness.

"Ah." Aada's smile faltered. "Just a bad dream." She turned away from him, but Hisoka would have none of that. She was avoiding him again, and he didn't like it. He stood up quickly and put his hands on Aada's shoulders, pulling her towards him until her back was pressed against his chest.

"Tell me." He asked, leaning towards her. When she remained silent, a suspicion entered his mind and refused to dissipate, making him angry.

"Who did you dream about?" his voice was low, dangerously close to a growl.

"It's none of your business." Replied Aada, struggling to get away from him, afraid if they discussed this further she'd reveal more than she wanted, scared of what Hisoka's reaction would be if he knew. He'd probably leave; from what Kurapika has told her, the magician wasn't the type to get attached to someone, and likely would see her feelings as an unnecessary disturbance.

"It is my business, when you don't pay attention to me." He spat before he knew what he was saying. He shook his head, suddenly knowing what he wanted to do. "Doesn't matter." He added. "I'll make you forget."

Aada turned around in his grip and looked up at him.

"I'd rather you didn't use any magic tricks on me, Hi-so-ka."

The magician smirked in response.

"If you want to call it this way." He said, before he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, feeling unsure all of a sudden, not used to initiating contact like this. Aada's eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't protest, making him feel bolder. He cupped her face as he kissed her harder, deeper, liking the way her body melted against his immediately and the feel of her arms snaking around his waist. She moaned into the kiss, and her hands moved, grabbing a fistful of red hair to pull him even closer. He felt powerful, in control, enjoying the feel of her and her scent that mixed with his, feeling a rush of adrenaline he always associated with getting what he wanted. All too soon, Aada bit his lip gently and moved away. The magician growled angrily and tried to pull her back, but she placed her fingers on his lips and shook her head.

"We've drawn enough attention, Hi-so-ka." She said, her eyes smiling at him.

Hisoka looked around, and saw several of the hospital staff huddled together, whispering. He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I never minded attention, little pine."

Aada shook her head helplessly, but her smile was warm when she was watching him closely.

"Doctor Holme!" an outraged voice sounded behind them. "The entrance to a public hospital is hardly a place for displays like this one!"

Hisoka brought Aada closer, his arm wrapping around her waist as he turned around towards the newcomer.

"So if this was a private facility, it would be a suitable place for such displays?" he asked innocently. "I'd rather be sure so I don't repeat this horrendous error in judgement again." Aada bit her lip in order not to laugh; it was hardly an appropriate reaction, given she recognised the voice before she saw the person who spoke and knew she was in trouble. She was his subordinate and never has been his favourite, and she's just given him more ammunition.

Hisoka looked closer at the man in front of them and suddenly his mouth widened in a toothy grin.

"Oh, but surely you won't hold this "display" against doctor Holme, will you?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm.

The man's eyes widened as he recognised the magician; it didn't happen immediately for the lack of makeup and suit symbols, but when it did, doctor Eizan immediately took several steps back.

"N… no, I won't." he stammered slightly, but quickly regained his composure. "Off you go, doctor Holme. Consider this a warning. Have a good afternoon." With that, he turned around abruptly and went back inside the hospital.

Aada looked at the magician disbelievingly.

"What did you do?" she asked. "He really dislikes me; I was sure he'd chew me out."

Hisoka winked at her.

"Magic."

Aada smiled at him.

"I like your magic." She said, taking his hand. "Let's go home, OK?"

Hisoka frowned, something about what she said making him feel uneasy. He quickly dismissed the feeling and looked down on his toy.

"Did it work?" he asked.

"Huh?" Aada looked back at him, not understanding his meaning at first.

Hisoka leaned down towards her again.

"My magic, earlier." He explained, "Or do you need a repeat of the treatment, little pine?"

Aada quickly moved away from him; it didn't help that she noticed one of the nurses from her ward giving her thumbs up. She blushed, turned around as quick as she could and started walking away, dragging Hisoka behind her, not able to see a wide, happy and mischievous smile on his face.


	16. Blue and Yellow

**A/N:** _Two new chapters - I hope you'll enjoy them. I hope you all have wonderful Holidays with the ones you want to spend them with most, and remember - all I want for Christmas is feedback ;)_

* * *

 **Blue and Yellow**

"Can I choose the colours?" Aada's voice sounded excited and Hisoka found himself nodding before he could think. After they'd returned from the hospital, the magician chose to remain in his irregular clothing, but after a second glass of wine Aada asked if he could put the star and tear back on his cheeks.

"Sure." He was a bit surprised, but hid it well.

"You won't use makeup?" she asked, seeing he remained seated.

"No." Hisoka smiled at her. "How about we try something more fun?"

Always happy to show off in front of his toy, he took her hand and placed her index finger on his face. He didn't let go.

"What colours would you like?" he asked.

Aada bit her lip before responding, a pensive look on her face.

"A blue star and a yellow tear."

"Oh?" Hisoka found her choice interesting, even if she wasn't aware of its meaning. "I haven't used these for a while now." His thoughts went back to the Yorkshin episode, to when he wanted to fight Chrollo and couldn't because of Kurapika's actions. He hasn't used the colours since.

"It can be something else if you don't like them." Said Aada immediately.

"No, blue and yellow is fine." He replied. "This may feel strange to you at first…"

Aada felt a jolt of energy coursing through her finger, not strong enough to be unpleasant; instead, the delicate tingling sensation on her skin felt nice. Her eyes widened when she saw a blue star appearing out of thin air underneath her fingertip. The magician moved her hand to touch his other cheek and soon enough, his face was adorned with a yellow tear.

"How did you…?" Aada didn't finish her question. She looked up at him, her lips slightly parted, feeling something that resembled a childlike sense of wonder.

As usual, Hisoka loved basking in her attention; her amazement felt delightful.

"Just like that." He replied, touching her t-shirt briefly.

Aada touched the fabric disbelievingly, tracing the contours of a red diamond and black club. As she was doing that, the magician frowned, an uncharacteristically pensive look on his face.

"I can change them to something else, if you'd like." He said after a while.

Aada shook her head immediately.

"No." she smiled warmly at him. "I like them."

She looked at the clock on the wall and her smile faltered. Hisoka understood immediately, and decided to use the situation to his advantage.

"You're not eager to go to sleep, are you, little pine?" he asked.

"No." admitted Aada quietly.

"Well…" the magician refilled her glass. "Why sleep if you can spend that time better?"

Aada raised her glass in a salute before sipping on its contents.

"You're right." She said, trying to remain cheerful. "I'm in no rush."

They kept talking for a while longer; the more wine she drank, the closer Aada was sitting to her companion, not realizing she was diminishing the distance. He did, but said nothing; he bit the rim of his glass lightly, trying to conceal a satisfied smile.

Aada's eyelids felt heavy; she didn't want to go back to her bedroom, she didn't want to fall asleep, lest she saw the same disturbing images as the night before. However, it was a fight she couldn't win - tiredness coupled with alcohol finally defeated her; the now empty glass fell to the carpet and her head rested against the closest object.

Hisoka chuckled quietly, listening to the slow breathing and seeing her head on his shoulder. He moved his arm out of the way; Aada's head fell on his chest instead, but her position didn't look comfortable. He shifted slightly; now she was half lying on top of him, her face nuzzling into the fabric of his t-shirt. With a gentleness that he overlooked, Hisoka lifted Aada's chin delicately and took her glasses off, then used his bungee gum to transfer them to the table so he didn't have to move and wake her.

"I'll take her to bed." Leorio's voice disturbed the silence in the room, putting the magician on edge immediately.

"No, you won't." he replied.

Leorio sighed.

"Be reasonable." He tried. "She'll be more comfortable there."

"Stop meddling, Leorio." Hisoka's voice was lower, his arm now draped possessively over his toy's shoulders. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

"I'm not…" the doctor didn't finish. A card appeared between Hisoka's fingers in split second.

"Out."

"But…" Leorio stopped talking, feeling a delicate touch on his arm.

"It's OK." Kurapika looked up at Leorio, trying to put a reassuring smile on his face. "You're tired, and have to get up early tomorrow. I'll stay up longer; there's a book I want to finish. I'll take her to bed later."

Leorio looked at Kurapika for a long while, but eventually nodded slowly, and left the room. Kurapika sighed, feeling uncomfortable for having used his influence on Leorio this way and looked at Hisoka seriously. He was wary of the magician, and helped him win the confrontation simply because he didn't want his friend to get hurt. But he'd also told Leorio before to stop being overprotective and now should follow his own advice; it looked like Aada decided to spend time with the magician regardless of their warnings, and none of them had any say in this.

"Don't make me regret it." He said eventually, and followed in Leorio's footsteps.

* * *

Used to sleeping alone, Hisoka woke up abruptly at the sudden movement at his side. He waited in the dimmed light of the lone lamp in the room, looking down at Aada. He could see rapid, chaotic movements of her eyes underneath the eyelids. Aada's breathing was irregular now; her hand reached out in her sleep and clutched at the magician's shirt. Her body jerked suddenly, as if she was trying to quickly move away from something and through the thin fabric of their clothes, he could feel her muscles were tense.

Observing his toy carefully, Hisoka supposed he might have experienced nightmares at some point in his life as well, but even if he did, as all else, they eventually faded along with most of his past. Aada looked uncomfortable, and he didn't enjoy it, part of her discomfort mirrored in him. As usual, he brushed the unwanted feelings away, concentrating on the fact that being with her at a moment that was difficult for her would tie Aada closer to him. Tentatively, he reached towards her, brushing a strand of hair from her face. The hand that was clutching at his shirt now grabbed his and the magician was surprised with how strong the grip was. He used his other hand to shake her shoulder, careful not to use too much force.

Aada rose abruptly; her head tilted to one side, her unseeing eyes looking straight at Hisoka, her breath coming in short gasps. Her eyes slowly regained focus and immediately widened when she recognized him. She surprised him even more when she threw her arms around his neck, holding him as close as possible. She kept whispering his name, refusing to let go of him. Feeling at a loss, the magician slowly closed his arms around her, just like that night in the hospital, the vibration of the distant, dusty string inside him that she kept touching making him uneasy and restless.

"It's OK." He said, trying to sound calm and to recover control over a situation that threw him off balance. "My little pine."

Aada whispered something and Hisoka's eyes widened, as he was unsure if he heard correctly.

"What did you just say, little pine?" he asked, forcefully yanking her arms off his neck and grabbing her chin to make her look at him.

"It was nothing." Aada was avoiding his gaze. "I'm just tired."

The magician brought her face even closer to his, not relinquishing his hold on her.

"No, it was something. Tell me, now."

Aada sighed, cursing her own stupidity, regretting saying anything. She was tired and scared after experiencing another nightmare, but it was no excuse to be so careless. Still, she knew he wouldn't let this go, and she was never a good liar.

"I said… please don't die, Hisoka." She admitted quietly.

The magician looked back at her, surprised.

"Is that what you dreamed about?" he asked. "And last night too?"

Aada nodded hesitantly. Hisoka felt relieved, but the feeling was quickly drowned out by excitement caused by the certainty that he was the one in her dreams; she saw him die, and it clearly distressed her. He was starting to get successful in reeling her in and controlling her, which made him restless and satisfied at the same time. Aada's shoulders slumped, her head hung low as she was feeling defeated; as of the previous night, she understood fully what her dreams meant and she was convinced that he must have understood now too, and soon he'd be gone.

The prolonged silence drew Hisoka's attention back to his toy. Aada seemed sad still, and he didn't enjoy seeing his little pine like that; he loved playing with her most when she was vibrant and witty, headstrong even. This sombre mood, it had to go. Aada raised her head to look him in the eye and for the first time since they'd met, she looked wary of him, scared. It perplexed the magician; it didn't become her.

"Come here." He ordered and flinched, seeing her doing exactly the opposite – she moved away to the farthest corner of the couch. Being soft and gentle didn't come easy to Hisoka, because he never saw any sense in it. He sighed and flicked his wrist, attaching his bungee gum to her, and pulled lightly.

"Come here." He repeated. He couldn't make his voice sound much softer, but felt he did a decent job anyway; Aada however clearly thought otherwise and still tried to resist. He'd have none of that. He pulled much stronger now, reeling the struggling toy in slowly but surely until she was in his lap. He didn't hesitate to do it anymore, after the first time he already knew he liked it. None too gently, he pushed Aada's head against his chest and held her, waiting for her to stop trying to wiggle her way out of his grasp. Eventually, she gave up, knowing that if he intended to keep her there, she had no chance of winning against him.

"Little pine…" started the magician, satisfied she finally stopped struggling. "I don't plan on dying anytime soon."

"I cannot bear to see you hurt." Said Aada, her fingers wrapping around his wrist. She squeezed gently before she finished her thought. "Do you understand?"

Hisoka's brows furrowed.

"It's pointless for you to worry about that, little pine."

Aada took a deep breath. They shouldn't continue this conversation; she was exhausted from lack of proper rest and didn't want to reveal anything else she might regret.

"Let me go, please. I want to go back to my room and try to sleep some more, hopefully without nightmares."

"Oh?" replied Hisoka. "Then sleep."

"But…"

"Sleep." Hisoka's voice had a steely quality to it and he still showed no intention of letting go of her. "You are hosting several strong people in your house, but out of all of them, only Kurapika would take me more than five minutes to kill. Now, do you understand? I am not an easy prey. So sleep. Stop worrying."

"More than five minutes to kill?" Aada's eyes widened in disbelief. "Why would you even consider this?"

Hisoka shrugged.

"Why wouldn't I?" he replied. "I constantly weigh my skills against those of others. Sometimes for my own enjoyment, sometimes in order to survive."

"But you wouldn't just…" she didn't know how to finish the question.

Hisoka suddenly felt amused.

"I wouldn't what?" he asked. "Go on a rampage and kill all of them because I felt like it? No. Where would be fun in that? I don't enjoy fighting someone who's not even at my level of skill."

Aada closed her eyes, her breathing slowly calming down. She consciously chose not to let her mind follow the implications of Hisoka's last sentence. She didn't want to think about it, realizing she was being selective and overlooking things she didn't want to face. Was it wrong? It felt so good when he was this close. It probably wouldn't last; she wanted to enjoy being with him like that while she could. She relaxed in Hisoka's hold, and after a while felt sleep would overcome her soon. He was right; her dreams were absurd. She remembered what Gon had told her about Hisoka's strength, and what Leorio did. Leorio… suddenly she remembered something else he'd said, and just like that, the calm was gone.

"That man… Please don't fight him." She blurted out before she could stop and think what she was saying.

"What do you mean, little pine?"

"The leader of the Phantom Troupe." Aada added quietly and understood immediately she had made a mistake. Hisoka's body tensed in a split second; he let go of her and pushed her away. The violence in this gesture shocked her. A second later, he was no longer near her.

"Never ask that of me again." He growled, eyeing her angrily.

Aada raised her hand to touch him, but he quickly moved out of her reach.

"I am sorry… I didn't mean to offend you. Please…" she didn't know how to explain herself, the dread she felt when thinking he could die. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

Hisoka's eyes widened in disbelief.

"So you think I'm not strong enough, is that it?" his voice sounded strangely disappointed even to his own ears.

"No!" said Aada quickly, feeling panicked. This was going downhill fast, and she had only her carelessness to blame. Hisoka's reaction was obvious; he had told her before how he lived his life and what he strived for, and she had just negated it.

"Please, Hisoka, let me explain…"

"No." he shook his head. "I heard enough."

He turned around quickly and left, not looking back. Aada slumped back on the couch, cursing her own stupidity.

Outside, Hisoka walked back to his room, his fist clenching and unclenching angrily. He felt disappointed. He thought she had understood him. Why did she have to say that? He needed his toy to consider him strong, he wanted to be sure that once he fought Chrollo and won, she would be there, so he could… what exactly? He then remembered what he said and was surprised with it.

 _Never ask that of me again._

He had been angry with her, yes; normally he'd just lash out at the one who dared to oppose him, hurt them and leave, never to return. His own choice of words however, suggested otherwise, even now, although she… She had hurt him, he realized. Her lack of trust in his strength, her sudden disregard of what was important to him; it felt unpleasant, not the kind of pain he enjoyed.

* * *

On the way to the hospital the next morning, all Aada could think of was the night before. She had almost revealed her feelings, and luckily it looked like Hisoka didn't catch on. That was good. On the other hand, she couldn't get his reaction out of her mind; underneath his charm and intelligence she'd caught a glimpse of the man that Leorio told her about – violent, ruthless, capable of hurting her beyond repair.

She shook her head, she was so deep in thought she didn't even notice when she reached the hospital entrance. Inside, she continued to the first floor and the locker room, her mind still preoccupied with Hisoka's reaction. On one hand, she tried to disregard it, on the other hand, she kept hearing Leorio's words, telling her she was playing with fire, and Kurapika's, convincing her Hisoka would never be able to give her what she wanted. She entered the room quietly and slumped against the wall, hidden behind a row of lockers.

"…I'm telling you, that's what he said." Said a young voice Aada automatically recognized as Lia, one of the nurses in the surgical ward, one she liked working best with. It drew her attention away from her thoughts for the moment.

"He thinks our database has been hacked?" the other voice clearly showed disbelief. "Don't you think we'd know if that happened?"

"I don't know." Admitted Lia. "He only told me because we've been going out for a long time now… He says there's barely any trace and he might be wrong; his supervisor disagrees with him, so he's hesitating to bring it to the hospital manager."

Aada frowned. She had to change and check her roster quickly, but didn't want to embarrass the girl; personally she agreed with the other person talking – if something as serious as hacking the hospital's database happened, they would already know. She got up and went around the corner, now able to see Lia talking to one of the anesthesiologists.

"Oh, good morning, doctor Holme!" the young nurse blushed, noticing Aada and only then realizing she may have overheard.

"Good morning, Lia." Replied Aada and smiled at her favourite assistant.

"I didn't catch what you were talking about." She said, feigning ignorance, and hoping it would work. "Was it something about today's surgeries?"

The nurse looked relieved.

"Oh, no." she replied immediately. "It was nothing important. Would you like me to wait for you so we can go check our roster?"

Aada nodded.

"Yes, that would be great."

* * *

The day passed uneventfully in a flurry of minor procedures and endless cups of coffee. Aada sighed, exiting the hospital door. She yearned for something more challenging that would expand her horizons. Immediately, her mind drifted back to Hisoka, and her nature, always curious to discover the unknown, always looking for challenges, pushed her towards a decision. She had known for a long while that there was more to Hisoka than he revealed to her, but it wouldn't deter her; she realized if she followed Leorio's advice and distanced herself, she might be safer, but might also regret it. In her line of work, Aada firmly believed that only the ones willing to take risks might accomplish anything of importance, and she thought love was no different. She stopped abruptly, realizing she had named what she felt for the first time; she took a deep breath, her mind now made up. She had one more stop to make on her way back home – she needed a peace offering, and she knew just the place to get it.

* * *

Gon wasn't sure what came over Hisoka, but as soon as they started their usual training session, he knew he had to be on his toes. The magician seemed angered by something, his aura flashing furiously. Barely a minute into their mock fight, Gon realized that Hisoka wasn't playing with him as usual. He thought he had improved significantly since he started training with the magician, but now he was able to see the gap between them even more clearly. Suddenly, just like when he'd fought Hisoka at the Heaven's Arena, he felt a strong pull and realized that once again he'd overlooked the moment when bungee gum attached to him. Time seemed to slow down as he flew through the air, looking into the narrowed, angry eyes of his opponent.

 _He's going to kill me._ The though flashed in his mind quickly, but Gon didn't have enough time to feel scared, disappointed or angry. A quick flash of silver cut through the air, and he fell to the ground.

"Enough." Kurapika stood between Gon and Hisoka, looking straight at the magician. "What in the earth are you doing?"

Hisoka didn't reply and Kurapika sighed.

"You should figure out what is it that you want, or leave. I won't let you hurt anyone." He said.

The magician's head tilted to the right as he was digesting Kurapika's words. All of a sudden, he turned around and disappeared in a split second, clearly having attached his bungee gum to one of the nearby trees.

"Are you OK?" Kurapika looked down at his young friend.

Gon looked back at him sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"I still have a lot to learn, don't I?" he asked, leaving Kurapika stunned. "He used the same old trick on me, and I still fell for it."

The boy got up and brushed the dirt off his shorts.

"It doesn't matter." He shrugged. "I'll just have to practice and gain more experience, until I'm better than him."

"You're not angry with him?"

"Angry?" Gon frowned, appearing deep in thought for a few seconds. "Nah. He is who he is. I was the one who asked him to train with me. I do wonder what has gotten to him to make him so angry though…"

Kurapika sighed.

"Who knows." Was all he said before he went back into the house.

Gon stayed outside and soon enough he spotted Hisoka under a big beech tree in the clinic's garden. Even from the distance he could feel the tendrils of the magician's angry aura, not nearly as strong as during the Hunters' exam, but still unpleasant, and decided to stay and keep an eye on him.

"Hey, Gon."

The boy looked up, surprised he didn't hear Aada approach. He must've been distracted by what happened earlier.

"Have you seen Hisoka?" she asked.

Gon nodded.

"Yeah." He replied and pointed towards the beech tree. "He's over there. But I don't think you should talk to him now; he seemed pretty angry earlier."

"Ah." Aada didn't look fazed, although she must have felt the magician's aura. "Then, if I don't come back soon, you'll need to save me."

Having said that, she patted his head lightly and walked towards the beech tree. Gon observed from the distance, his natural curiosity taking over. Even from his seat at the porch, he could see Hisoka tensed seeing Aada approach, but she didn't seem to mind. She sat down next to him and started talking. He couldn't make out the words, but he could see that after a while, Aada took something small out of her pocket and handed it to the magician. Hisoka took whatever she gave him and looked at it for a long while before he said something. To Gon's further surprise, Aada placed her hand on Hisoka's cheek. Gon kept watching, and suddenly his eyes grew wide.

"Oh." Was all he could say, before he realized that the malicious aura that he'd felt before was gone.

* * *

Hisoka shuffled his new deck of cards absentmindedly before giving it another close look. It was beautiful; each suit color associated with different season. He liked diamonds' theme most of all – he always found autumn to be the most captivating time of the year with its ripe, full, mature reds, yellows and oranges, an empire in its highest peak, about to collapse into the temporary death of winter. The deck looked old, and must have cost Aada quite a lot. It perplexed him, that not only did she apologize to him, but also went to such lengths to do it. He didn't remember when was the last time he received a gift from anyone, and the words that accompanied it, although simple, stayed with him.

 _It's not my desire to change you or stop you from being who you are. I am sorry. I was very out of line._

Hisoka's mercurial temper has always made his feelings intense, be it anger, happiness, satisfaction, jealousy or desire, but his moods also tended to change quickly, passing fluidly from one to another, oftentimes disregarding the contrasts. Now, when he was looking at his toy, leaning against him, their shoulders touching as she read a book, readjusting her glasses every now and then, he realized he stopped being angry with her, just like that.


	17. Mine

**Mine**

Aada was feeling distracted, thinking of what happened between Hisoka and her recently. It's been two days since she apologized to the magician and he accepted, and it looked like the vague game he pulled her into came into a temporary stalemate. They slipped back into their usual routine as if nothing happened – it felt safer, but also a bit false. Aada knew there was no real going back but she wouldn't move forward anyway. She hated being hesitant, but couldn't help it; she knew what she wanted and dreaded it, and at the same time realized that what started as simply spending time with someone who she found intriguing had morphed into something more intense, with emotions running higher, faster, at shorter intervals, and felt as if both of them were on a collision course, bound to crash into one another sooner or later. For the time being, they both observed each other, analyzing, planning the next move.

The house was eerily quiet; Leorio was at the hospital with other students and wouldn't be back until late; Kurapika was reading in his room as usual. Aada had been busy at the clinic all day and now had no idea where the boys had gone; she hoped they would be back soon, always worrying about them despite knowing how strong they were. That left only one person – and although she didn't know where he was either, she was sure he'd make himself known soon enough.

The clinic's opening hours were almost over and Aada was not expecting anyone else that day. She almost wished for more patients as she finally admitted to herself that she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts, feeling at a loss as to how to approach her own needs. The recent visit at the cemetery and the nightmares only proved what she already knew and the intensity of her own feelings scared her. She wanted to pursue the one she wanted, and at the same time she was afraid of rejection. When she gave it more thought, she decided she was instinctively stalling, hoping that maintaining the status quo would make Hisoka stay longer with her. She wanted to talk to Leorio about it, but was postponing it, worried how her best friend would react to the news that she got closer to Hisoka despite his warning. He was probably suspecting something; he knew her well, and lately he seemed a little distant. They'd have to talk, sooner rather than later. She sighed and turned to one thing that never failed her as a distraction – her work. She opened the latest edition of her favourite _Yorkshin Medical Journal_ and reached for the coffee mug on her desk. Soon enough, the current month's theme - stem cells utilization - had her rapt attention. Outside it was slowly getting dark; Aada got up quickly to turn the lights on, stumbling a little since her eyes were still glued to the magazine, and went back to her desk. She kept reading and although she vaguely remembered it was time for dinner, she couldn't bring herself to stop. The developments described in the articles were astounding, and the possibilities she could already think of fascinated her.

"I knew you'd forget to eat." Hisoka's voice broke through her concentration and Aada frowned in annoyance, reluctantly lifting her eyes from the text and hoping that he'd understand she did not want him to intrude at this moment.

Hisoka smirked seeing her annoyed, half-angry expression. He put the plate on the windowsill, and raised his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Now, now, little pine," he said, feigning hurt, "Is this the way to greet somebody saving you from starvation?"

Aada shook her head helplessly. It was difficult to stay mad at him.

"Is there something you need, Hi-so-ka? I'm quite busy." She said.

Hisoka pretended not to notice her impatience.

"What are you reading?" he stood behind her chair and leaned forward, his chest pressed against her back, his breath ghosting over her ear, causing goose bumps on her skin.

"Stem cells." Aada was vague; she always enjoyed his company, but this time she wanted to go back to her reading, and him being so close was very distracting.

"Oooh, how interesting." He said, reading from behind her back, his eyes quickly scanning the text.

"Yes." She replied. "I'm trying to learn more about the experimental transplant therapy."

"Mhmmm. Nothing interesting at the hospital recently, so you are looking for something new to focus on, aren't you? Let me guess, self-regeneration abilities?" he asked lazily, intentionally overlooking her choice of words.

Aada's eyebrows arched. As always, not only did he seem to know her reasons, but also was catching on very quickly, having just skimmed through the article from behind her back. Or maybe he had known this all along? She'd put nothing past him. He had a sharp intellect, and suddenly she felt like bouncing some ideas off him, just like before, when she was working on the new hip replacement method. He was a worthy partner in any discussion, always keeping her on her toes, at times drawing her attention to things she'd never thought of before. From what she'd noticed about Hisoka's interactions with others, they feared or admired him because of his physical strength and his command of nen, and she felt that too often they were overlooking just how intelligent he was. With a mind like his, coupled with his internal drive, he could be successful in anything, and science was no exception. It was not something he wanted though, and Aada respected that. She understood there was another reason behind wanting to discuss the articles – she liked sharing things with him, and whenever she did, she felt that in his own way, although at times peculiar, Hisoka was always supporting her. She knew he'd never hold her back, but push her instead and suddenly she wished that they could continue like that forever, him supporting her, and catching her when she stumbled, just like that night at the hospital when she lost her patient. She turned around to look at him and noticed his eyes were shining with mirth.

"You got lost in your thoughts again, little pine." He said with his trademark, mischievous smile that Aada has come to enjoy. "It's always pretty amusing to watch."

Aada rolled her eyes.

"Oh, but I'm serious." He continued, and Aada may have believed that if she didn't know him quite well already. "You left me all alone."

"I'd never…" Aada started replying immediately, but then quickly bit her lip, realizing what she was about to say. It wouldn't be wise. She could feel him watching her, and avoided his gaze, turning back towards the desk.

"I'll need to gather more materials, and learn a lot before I can even start considering applying some of the methods they described…" she started, unsure how to begin.

"I'm all ears." said Hisoka, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Maybe I can even push you in a new direction, hmmm?" The last words were whispered right into her ear and Aada shivered, feeling his lips brushing lightly against her skin.

A sound of hurried footsteps from outside interrupted their discussion before it could truly start and Hisoka sighed in annoyance; he noticed Aada had been avoiding acting upon what happened between them and consciously let her step back into the dynamics they shared before, wanting her to feel safer before taking the next step. To his confusion, he wasn't quite sure what that step was. He knew however he did not enjoy her being distant, and discussing the article was a perfect opportunity to remedy that, besides, he was really curious to learn what her restless mind came up with this time.

The door to the clinic opened abruptly, and three men barged into the exam room, carrying a fourth one, groaning in pain, bleeding profusely from a deep wound on his thigh.

"Doctor!" one of the men ran towards Aada, "There's been an accident, his leg…"

Aada assessed the situation in split second. Even without the huge tear in the man's pants she could see copious amounts of blood – his artery had been ruptured. They used a tourniquet; if they hadn't, the injured man wouldn't have made it to the clinic. It must have happened close by, or else not even the tourniquet would be sufficient to prevent his death. He would have biggest chance at the hospital with proper anesthesia and fully equipped surgical staff, but he'd likely be dead before the ambulance arrived. It only left her; the ones who brought him to the clinic saved his life but she had to act quickly if it was to stay this way. In a few seconds, her mind quickly catalogued what she needed, where it was, and in which order to get it to make the process most efficient and not to waste precious time. She wished Leorio was there – she didn't have assistance, which would prove troublesome. Unless… yes, she thought. That should work perfectly.

"Put him on the table." Aada ordered, her voice calm, collected.

Hisoka observed her, fascinated. One moment they were chatting leisurely, and the next she was fully in her battle mode, as though a switch was flipped inside her. Aada grabbed her tools and rushed to the man on the exam table, donning the latex gloves with a surprising speed, and poured antiseptic on the wound. Hisoka watched her precise movements and listened to her voice, strong, steely, as she barked at the onlookers to leave the room. She was in her element, and he couldn't help but admire her. Not so long ago, she had lost a patient, but she didn't let it slow her down now, leaving no space for doubts or fear.

"Hisoka." Aada's voice snapped him back to reality. "Leorio's not here. You will help me."

He looked at her for a second, not sure how to respond. Aada's eyes narrowed angrily.

"Help or get out." she said, grabbing scissors to cut the patient's torn jeans open and then took her tools and needles, readying them for action.

Hisoka rushed to the table.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

Aada nodded, satisfied she had his cooperation.

"Pretty soon he'll bleed out." she said, her voice still calm, as her hands moved quickly. "I cannot see much with all the blood… I want you to use that thing you do… stick the artery together where I show you… and hold it together for me as I fix this mess."

Hisoka nodded. He knew she meant his bungee gum, and he was amazed with how fast she assessed the situation and decided what means, albeit unorthodox, were available to her to achieve her goal. He knew what this kind of injury meant - the odds were against her but she immediately thought out of the box to counter it, which was nothing short of impressive. It also meant another important thing – she trusted him to do it, and he wouldn't waste that opportunity.

"Here." she directed him, pointing at two spots on the opposite sides of her operating field with no hesitation, "And here. Now!"

Hisoka did as instructed, sweat pearling on his forehead. He was not used to applying his abilities to situations requiring this much precision, but he would be damned if he got it wrong. At first he wasn't sure why exactly he was doing it; he cared not for a life of some random person, but still Aada's willpower compelled him into action, and he realized yet again that just as he found it necessary to fight and kill, she found it necessary to heal, to save, and knew he wanted to help her, not the man on the table, but her.

He knew what she was doing, his power acting as very strong, precise clamps stopping further blood loss and giving her more time to fix the damage, at the same time preventing more blood from clouding her field of vision. He spared a look at her; her brow was furrowed in concentration, her glasses riding lower on the bridge of her nose as her hands moved fast, first using gauze to remove excess of blood, then carefully stitching the torn tissue together. Blood painted her clothes and skin, but she didn't seem to notice, bent on saving the man on the table, who thankfully passed out from pain and blood loss as she had neither time nor proper anesthetics to put him under.

Hisoka remembered Machi fixing his arms after his fight with Kastro and couldn't help but notice the difference. Machi had been much faster, but cold, impersonal, indifferent; Aada did not have the power of nen on her side, but still she was quick, precise, calm, but not indifferent, and her actions were backed up by passion that was amazing to watch. It was curious how his mind always seemed to reproduce the analogy. He recalled how Machi's ability always awed him, but admitted that it did not compare to seeing Aada work. She was so strong, excelling at what she did despite her limitations. It seemed as though she was born to defy the odds, and her life conditioned her to bounce back; she used obstacles as fuel, just like him. When she set her sights on a goal, there was no stopping her, another trait they both shared. Observing her carefully, the magician has come to a surprising realization – it was not only his want to manipulate her and bend her to his will that made him stay so long, but also the fact that she kept looking inside him and understood him better than others. Once again, Hisoka thought that Aada didn't need to command nen to be amazing and to keep his attention. She was magnificent, his prey. His toy, only his. His eyes swept over her hungrily, as he felt another kind of need slowly building up inside him, burning with even more intensity. He closed his eyes briefly, inhaling a combination of her resinous scent and blood and barely bit back a moan.

After a while, Aada looked up at him.

"You can stop now." She said, not waiting for his acknowledgement, knowing he'd listen. She waited to see if the blood would keep flowing out, ready to spring back into action immediately, but it didn't happen. She nodded, satisfied, and proceeded to close the wound in neat stitches and bandaged it.

Aada straightened up, sighing deeply, rubbing her hand tiredly on her forehead, leaving a bloody trail on her pale skin as her shoulders slumped, adrenaline slowly leaving her system. She was glad now that her paranoia after losing Henn made her overzealous enough to keep a small supply of blood in a clinic that in theory was meant only to deal with general issues and minor wounds. It took a lot of convincing and negotiation to pull this off, but now it has been confirmed it wasn't a wasted effort. The hospital manager was not entirely on board though, so the blood storage equipment was an out of pocket expense for her. No matter. It was worth it.

Hisoka couldn't help but wonder again that the two of them were very alike, but where he found joy and rush in fighting and taunting death, Aada's focus was on conquering it. She walked towards the refrigerator next to the window, took out a bag of 0 negative, and hooked it up to the vein at the man's wrist, then hung the bag on the IV stand. He'd probably need more than she had available. She took her phone out of her pocket and made a quick call to the hospital, explaining the situation. It wouldn't take long for them to get there.

Aada left the room for a while and Hisoka could hear her calm voice reassuring the man's friends, telling them that if not for them, he wouldn't have made it, that he would be fine, to go and notify his family and to see him the next day at the hospital as he needed to rest now, that she arranged a transport already, giving them quick directions on how to get there.

She came back into the room, closed the door and remained silent. She brought a pillow for her patient and washed the blood off his skin with a wet cloth, then covered him up with a blanket. She checked his pulse and touched his forehead, nodding as she found he had only a mild fever. As she was tending to the man, the ambulance arrived and only minutes later, Hisoka and her were alone again. Aada took off her gloves as she walked to the window and then looked outside. She stood there, strong, proud, satisfied, her clothes covered in blood, and Hisoka found that a very alluring combination, a visible proof of her strong spirit. He could see a small, pensive smile on her face.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done that without you." She said quietly, still looking outside. "We make quite the team, Hi-so-ka."

What had started to build up inside him earlier culminated in the need to have her, to claim her, to add another, delicious layer to their battle of wills, all plans on taking a slow pace and making her feel safe flying out of the window. Each time he got closer to her was leaving him wanting something more, and now was the time he'd get it. He briefly remembered the red rose at the granite headstone and his body tensed up. She was already his. He wouldn't ask, like he did in the past with Machi. Here, now, there was no room for rejection.

Aada turned around to look at him; their eyes met and Hisoka walked slowly towards her, a predator eyeing his prey. He grabbed her face and kissed her roughly. Aada gasped in surprise, and Hisoka used it to his advantage, deepening the kiss as his arms immediately closed around her smaller form, trapping her against him. He lifted her off the ground easily, placed her on the desk and pushed her knees apart so he could stand between them. One of his hands grabbed a fistful of brown hair and yanked her head back as his mouth moved to kiss, lick, and bite her neck. He heard a strangled moan and smirked against her skin, only to be stopped by her hands pressing into his shoulders, pushing him back.

Aada was experiencing a mix of fear and arousal as Hisoka looked at her, golden eyes gleaming furiously. She felt there was no coming back from this moment, she couldn't stop it, not anymore, and neither did she want to. Instead, she craved getting carried away, being swept up by the need and the possessiveness she felt towards him. She took her glasses off, and placed them carefully on her desk, finding the small gesture had a calming effect on her. She looked up at Hisoka, her eyes bigger and defenseless without the black frame, just as on the black and white photo he'd seen not long ago.

"Not here." she said. The words seemed to placate him, and he let her take his hand and lead the way to her room.

* * *

As soon as they entered, Hisoka slammed the door shut and pinned Aada against it, catching her lips in another bruising kiss. He growled; a mere thought of claiming his toy this way making him painfully hard. He didn't spare a moment to consider why it felt so desperate, this need to take her and make her his. He tore at her clothing, and it fell to the floor in bloodied pieces, leaving her bare in front of him. Aada motioned him to put his arms up and quickly, efficiently divested him of his shirt, her nails scraping his skin lightly.

Hisoka grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked her head back just like he did in the exam room, biting into her neck as his other hand roamed the expanse of her skin, before he pressed her against him roughly. Aada pushed back against him with all her strength, filled with sudden anger.

"Is that how you want it?" she asked, "You want to fight me?"

Hisoka just looked at her, his eyes feral, possessive. Aada drove her nails into the skin on his back.

"Fine." She breathed, "Have it your way, for now."

She stood on her toes and bit his neck in return, hard, and yanked his hair. Hisoka hissed, enjoying the pain, and gripped her forearms. She looked up at him, giving in to the hunger she felt.

"Take me." Aada didn't recognize her own voice. It felt like she was giving reigns to someone else, some part of her she usually kept carefully hidden.

Hisoka grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her up against the door, one of his hands pulling his pants down as she locked her legs around his hips. He entered her roughly, immediately setting into a fast, hard rhythm. He hid his face in the crook of her neck and his nails were digging into her skin painfully, only heightening the pleasure. Aada groaned, getting used to the feeling; she raked her nails down Hisoka's back, unable to control herself. It had been a long time for her, and what he was giving her, the fast, animalistic pace, felt intoxicating, liberating. She moaned and dug her nails in his hips, drawing him even closer. One of Hisoka's hands grabbed her wrist and pushed it back against the door, his fingers lacing with hers.

Hisoka's cheek brushed against hers as he raised his head; a long, low moan right next to her ear sending shivers down Aada's spine and making her moan in response. She should've known his voice would have such an effect on her - she loved it when he was talking, and loved it now. She's never been with anyone who would be so vocal and couldn't get enough of it, automatically tuning herself to every sharp intake of breath that was followed by a groan, starting low, then rising and softening before melting into something resembling a purr. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she enjoyed the pleasure she was getting from him; she felt overwhelmed and closed her eyes trying to shut down at least one of her senses. Giving in like this probably wrong, she knew, but it felt so good.

"Harder." Her voice sounded hoarse. She didn't care. She wanted more.

She heard a low, strangled sound before Hisoka bit into her shoulder and complied, pounding into her harder and faster. She bit her lip, feeling she was getting close, and tore her hand from his grasp, snaking her arms around his neck as her body arched against his and shuddered.

Hisoka threw his head back and Aada could hear another low moan as he kept moving; then his body tensed, and she felt him fill her up. Her legs slowly untangled from his hips and she pressed her back against the door, finding it hard to stand on her own. Hisoka's body was still pressed against hers, and despite the release she found, she felt she still needed more. She grabbed his face, pulled his head down to her level, and kissed him, feeling satisfied when he responded. After a while, she pushed him back and looked up at him.

"We're not done." She said.

Hisoka's mouth widened in a feral grin and Aada felt him grabbing her hair again. It made her furious.

"Is that all you want?" she asked, her eyes flaring angrily, and her defiance made him pause.

Hisoka didn't reply, confused. Usually in such situations, he would either completely dominate his partner, or enjoy turning the bedroom into a battlefield. With Aada, it was different somehow – she wasn't strong enough to oppose him, yet she refused to hand over the reins; there was something, some deeper intent behind her every move, though he failed to understand what it was. Aada sensed his confusion immediately, and used it to her advantage.

"I want…" she grabbed his face and brought it closer to hers, whispering against his lips, anger temporarily forgotten. "I want time… to enjoy all of you."

Emboldened by his silence, Aada pressed forward, pulling at Hisoka's lower lip with her teeth, then moving to lick the shell of his ear, down his neck, her mouth trailing a wet, heavy trace towards his collarbone. The hands pressed against her sides trembled ever so slightly, and she felt some sort of a primal satisfaction increasing her excitement.

"Even if it's just for tonight…" she said quietly, kissing along his collarbone, intoxicated by his closeness.

Aada pushed Hisoka on the bed, making him fall on his back, and moved to straddle him. Her fingers trailed his chest unhurriedly, reverently, drawing small, tender circles on his pale skin. She looked down at him, her gaze serious.

"You are beautiful." She said, and he felt shocked, immobilized by her words. Nobody ever called him beautiful, or touched him this way. Hisoka didn't know gentleness. When he wanted to satisfy his body's urges, he would enjoy hard, fast pace, only aimed at achieving completion, or seeing the other person submit to him so completely they would lose themselves, making him get off on the feeling of absolute power and control. Yet, as he looked up at Aada, dark hair framing her face, tiny, errant specks of dried up blood marring her skin, he couldn't help thinking she was the one who was beautiful. Her delicate caresses combined with how she looked at him, her eyes filled with desire, joy, and something else, something deep and powerful that he could not identify, felt exciting in a new, unknown way to him. The way she touched him made him feel… good. Wanted. Satisfied.

Aada kept touching him, her fingertips mapping the pale skin, the hard panes of his abdomen, then back up his chest, marveling at how true her words were. To her, Hisoka was beautiful, otherworldly; he was like a tornado, or a wildfire – beautiful to behold, dangerous to get close to. More of a natural phenomenon than a man… and as such, easy to admire and love, but not able to love in return. Not able to be gentle, or caring. She wanted to be gentle for both of them, though. She could feel him hardening again and bit her lip. She wanted more of him, all of him. Her questing fingers slowly cupped his cheek, then traced the outline of the blue star painted on his skin.

"Hisoka…" she whispered, leaning towards him, entranced, "My magician… Mine…"

Hisoka's eyes widened, possessive streak kicking in. Suddenly, Aada found herself on her back, trapped beneath him, his body pressing her into the mattress.

"You…" he growled, "You're the one who's mine."

"Look at me." He said, grabbing her chin. Aada complied, meeting the intense, amber gaze, then closed her eyes for a second, and felt Hisoka's lips on her neck. He kept sucking and biting to leave a mark, enjoying the fact that everybody would see it and know she was his, and spread her legs with a quick, efficient move that had no trace of care in it.

"Mine." He said, pushing inside her forcefully and making her gasp. He did not wait, did not waste time for meaningless caresses. He claimed.

"MINE!" He growled, holding her down by the neck and thrusting deep inside her, again, and again. Aada covered her eyes with her arm, her fist clenching and unclenching, biting her lip. Suddenly, Hisoka paused, seeing a silvery glimmer on her finger. He snarled, and grabbed her hand, furious. He yanked the ring off her finger and hurled it across the room, before resuming his fast, violent pace. Something deep in Aada stirred, a surge of anger at his actions, but her mind was too clouded with lust to protest. She would think about it, later. Now, she wanted more.

"Say my name." he ordered, releasing his hold on her neck enough so that she could speak.

Aada looked back at him, her eyes hazy.

"Hisoka…" she whispered, digging her nails into the skin on his back.

It was not enough, not nearly enough.

"Louder." He demanded, pounding into her harder, bent on overwhelming her and making her completely his.

"Hisoka."

"Hisoka… mine." She added, her eyes sparkling with defiance and ecstasy.

He growled again, resting his forehead on hers.

"You. Are. Mine." He said, emphasizing every word with a strong thrust. "Say it."

Aada gasped.

"I am yours." She agreed, admitting the truth, but not submission or defeat.

Hisoka had never asked his partners to say this, to admit they belonged to him. He never felt the need to. But now, it felt absolutely intoxicating to hear her say it, and he did not analyze why it felt so good. He knelt on the bed, lifting Aada's hips off the mattress, his grip strong enough to leave marks. She moaned and her legs wrapped around his back possessively as he sped up. He was getting close, fast, and it felt amazing and strange at the same time, how little time it took to send him into this state again.

"My name." he ordered, wanting to feel it again, this unknown high coming from her uttering it.

"Hisoka…"

"Again."

"Hisoka…" Aada's face contorted in pleasure, her hands bent above her head, tangled in her hair.

"Faster… Hiso…kaaa… Ohhh." Aada's hands grabbed the sheet as Hisoka's name on her lips molded in one with a loud moan, her body trembling uncontrollably as she reached her peak.

Hearing her say his name like that did him in. He covered her body with his again, pressing her into the mattress. His movements grew even more erratic and violent and he felt himself go over the edge, Aada's body still trembling beneath his. Hisoka didn't know how to be gentle, or caring. He grabbed her chin forcefully and made her look at him. He claimed her, and she belonged to him, whenever he wanted.

"Nobody will have you like this ever again. Only me." He said, feeling sated and glad to utter the words, realizing that never before had he wanted to go back to the person he'd shared bed with. This was different. He wanted more. If anybody else touched her, he would kill them, and he did not need words to confirm it, nor did he need her agreement. She was his, and his alone, and yes, she would still fully submit to him. He couldn't wait for this moment. He wanted to completely dominate her, crush her, consume her.

"Mhmmmmmm." Was all Aada uttered, satisfied, happy, and completely oblivious of his inner musings.

What happened only served to reconfirm that she had no way out of this any longer; she did not give her affection easily, but she gave it to him, completely. A sharp tug in her heart reminded her yet again that for Hisoka it was all lust and possessiveness, but she couldn't bring herself to regret what she felt, and still knew she'd want him again, and again. Did it make her pathetic? Would it eventually consume her? Maybe. But for now, she'd just take as much as he was willing to give. It was her last conscious thought as she wrapped her arms around him firmly and fell asleep.

Hisoka tensed at first. For him, sex was the way to satisfy urges, nothing more. He always chose to leave as soon as his craving was satisfied, and not many tried to convince him to stay. His lips curved in a small smile. Aada did not even try to convince him – she grabbed him and held him close, as if this was the right thing to do, as though they had been together many times. This experience was so different it left him stunned. He wasn't used to the tenderness that she kept bestowing upon him. He could easily break out of her hold and leave, but he discovered he didn't really want to. She kept surprising him, and he liked surprises. His body relaxed and he rolled to his side, feeling that he didn't mind hers following and snuggling closer to him. It felt good, and yet again, Hisoka didn't want to overanalyze. He liked it, so he'd have it. He wrapped his arms around Aada and placed his chin on top of her head. She tightened her hold on him, nuzzling her face into his neck.

"Hisoka…" she whispered sleepily against his skin, making him smile again.

He liked it that Aada was saying his name even in her sleep. His hand moved, as of its own volition, in a tentative, curious movement as he brushed a strand of dark hair from her face. Long fingers stiffened and then relaxed, touching her flushed cheek carefully, delicately.

"Hisoka…" she whispered again, "Love you…"

Hisoka froze. He didn't know what to do, think, or feel. Love was a foreign concept for him, something he'd never experienced or cared to experience. That feeling, her confirmation of it, it was something he wanted, wasn't it? Back when he learned that she probably still loved that other man, the one she was supposed to marry, this was what he wanted; to have her forget the one in her past, and give her attention and feelings only to him. To see only him. Only now it felt different. Back then, he wanted her to love him so that she would submit to him more easily, to secure his win over her, didn't he? Now, it felt like touching something absolute, something bigger than him, something he could not comprehend, something that made him feel content, but also very uneasy.

Aada's breath tickled the skin on his neck delicately, and the slight twitch of her arms around him made this so much more real. What did this woman mean to him exactly? Was this still the matter of winning, of having her submit to him? Hisoka touched her neck, feeling the steady pulse beneath his fingers. He could kill her with a flick of his wrist. A single, quick movement, and he would be rid of these troublesome feelings he never intended to face.

"… don't go…" came another delicate whisper, and the words burned against his skin with their finality, this trust in him that he could not understand.

Hisoka's fingers paused, and then moved slowly to tangle in the brown locks. He brought a strand of hair to his nostrils, inhaling the now familiar scent of pine resin and moss that he'd always associate only with the one now sleeping so trusting in his arms, the one who refused to submit; she met him on equal terms and allowed him to claim her, in return offering an emotion that left him feeling incapable, inadequate.

Was this happiness, he mused, tightening his hold on the one person that willingly chose to stay close to him. Happiness to him was the ecstasy of fighting a worthy opponent, a fulfillment of following his desires. Being with her like that, now… was this happiness too? Or would it be better to let go of her, so she could divert her attention to someone else? No. Even the thought was making him furious; she was his. Maybe he couldn't love her, but he wouldn't let anyone else have her. His fingers tightened their hold on her hair, as his other hand wrapped possessively around her waist, gathering her body even closer.

"Mine." He whispered, reaffirming his claim, and slowly let the strange feelings dissipate as sleep claimed him.


	18. Mosaic

**A/N:** _Apologies for taking a bit longer than usual to update. A big thank you to all of you who read, favorited and followed my story so far, and a special thank you to users and guests who left their reviews, some of you more than once. I greatly appreciate learning what you think and I let your words further fuel my inspiration._

* * *

 **Mosaic**

Light was seeping through the curtains, a muted, silvery kind typical for cloudy day. Aada had been awake for a while now, watching the specks of dust floating lazily in the pale streams of light, her palm on Hisoka's chest, listening to his steady, slow breathing, enjoying the feel of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. She had gotten up that night, feeling restless, and went to the kitchen for a glass of water, pausing at the exam room. She had then returned to her room and slipped back into bed. Now, come morning, she knew as soon as Hisoka woke up, the moment would be gone. Sometime during the night they moved; he was sleeping on his back, and she was half draped over him, her head on his shoulder, their legs tangled.

Aada breathed in deeply, inhaling the earthy, sweet scent that was uniquely his, and indulged herself in a moment of fantasy, imagining she could wake up like this every day, with him. She closed her eyes and tried to will herself into a state of blissful oblivion, but found that she couldn't; her orderly and scientific mind did not accept indulging in unrealistic possibilities. She knew that Hisoka did not love her, although she wished he did. She kissed Hisoka's cheek delicately, before slowly moving out of the bed, not wanting to wake him. She looked to the floor, and saw her shredded clothes. She could wear the robe she used at night, but instead looked at Hisoka's shirt. On an impulse, she donned it; he was so much taller than her that it covered her to mid-thigh. She wrapped it around herself and brought the material close to her face, inhaling the scent, then left the room.

When she came back to the bedroom carrying two mugs, Hisoka was still asleep. Aada placed her own coffee on the night stand, then sat on the bed next to the magician, touched his face gently, and stroked his hair. She knew she should be feeling like she'd betrayed the memory of Henn, but she couldn't bring herself to regret what happened. She smiled, a sad, melancholic smile. There was no point in delaying the inevitable; she had made a choice, and she would face the consequences, whatever they may be.

"…Hi-so-ka…" she said quietly.

Hisoka felt good, relaxed. Gradually, he rose from the comfortable oblivion of sleep, only to feel the warmth of fingers caressing his face and hair. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking in the daylight, and saw Aada leaning towards him, a sad smile on her face as she touched him gently. He wasn't sure how to react – this has never happened to him before. Aada's tenderness was both calming and unnerving. Golden eyes met green and her smile became radiant, a smile that he's come to enjoy, as she offered a steaming mug to him.

"Coffee," She said, "milk, and way too much sugar to consider it healthy."

Hisoka sat back against the headboard and took the mug from her hands. She remembered how he took his coffee, and the sweet taste was a welcome distraction when he had absolutely no idea how to act or what to say; so instead of talking, he sipped the hot drink, watching as Aada reached for her own mug of the horrendous, bitter black liquid with no additions, her head tilted to one side. She took the mug in both hands, drinking slowly, looking into the distance.

He remembered waking up that night only to find Aada wasn't there, and not liking it, wondering where she might have gone and feeling annoyed she considered something more important than him. Soon enough, he heard light footsteps and closed his eyes pretending to be asleep as she crawled back into bed and snuggled into his side. He waited in the dark, until her breath evened out indicating she fell asleep, and only then did he slowly wrap his arm around her again, enjoying the foreign sensation of the warmth of another.

Pushing the memory aside, Hisoka took another sip and looked at Aada again. He noticed she was wearing his shirt, and for some reason he liked it, seeing how big it was, something of his on her. His eyes travelled to her neck, to the vivid, purple bite mark he left there the night before. He enjoyed how it contrasted with her pale skin, almost as pale as his own; seeing her in his clothes was strangely arousing, and suddenly he felt he didn't want words anymore. His needs overcame him, just like before, a primal push to take, possess, and devour.

He put his mug back on the night stand, and grabbed Aada's wrist, forcing her to relinquish the hold on her own mug; it fell, the bitter brown and brittle white creating an instant, chaotic mosaic on the wooden floor. Aada looked at the magician, her eyes questioning and unsure. Hisoka grabbed her and threw her on the bed, flipping her on her back, immediately covering her body with his, biting hard on the mark he'd left the previous night. His bungee gum wrapped itself tight around her wrists, securing them to the headboard as he positioned himself between her legs. He pushed roughly inside her, not giving her any time to adjust and going straight into a hard rhythm. Her body beneath his stiffened as she cried out and tried to move away, and through a lust filled haze he vaguely understood that he didn't enjoy the sound of it.

"You're hurting me. Stop." Aada's eyes held a curious mix of feelings that threw him off balance; hurt, anger, sadness, and something else that started looking vaguely familiar.

Hisoka paused, torn between the need to break her, dominate her and get what he wanted, and sudden realization that he needed her to crave this, that forcing her into submission this way brought him no satisfaction at all.

"Release me, Hi-so-ka." Aada's voice was not pleading; it was calm and confident, the deep, silky alto washing over him pleasantly, reminding him he enjoyed hearing it just like this, not distressed or strained. He complied, wondering briefly if she'd run and if he'd let her if that was her choice.

Aada pushed him off of her and knelt on the bed, motioning for him to sit and he followed her lead, still perplexed with his own reaction, thrown off balance by the previously unknown, unpleasant feeling of knowing he'd hurt her. Aada took Hisoka's face in her hands and kissed him, a deep, coffee-laced kiss that made his skin tingle. She tilted his chin up and pushed his head back gently, exposing his throat. Her mouth moved lazily on his skin, going up from the junction between the collarbones and past his Adam's apple; then her tongue darted out to lick the line of his jaw. She reached out for him and took a while watching their joined hands, liking the contrast – her smaller palm with shorter fingers and blunt nails, a necessity for a surgeon, and his slim, long fingers with sharp nails; one aimed at protecting, the other – at subduing. She brought Hisoka's hand to her face, against her cheek, enjoying the intimacy of the gesture, surprised he let her. She then moved to straddle him and placed his hands on her hips. His shirt on her rode higher and Hisoka saw his fingers fitting into purple welts on her skin, the marks he left on her the night before. She hissed in pain, making him wince and try to pull his hands away, but she held them in place, looking at him intently.

Aada cupped his face again and kissed him, gradually lowering herself onto him. She nipped at his lower lip, before pulling away and placing her hands on his shoulders. She started moving, slowly, her eyes never leaving his. He moaned, realizing that once again he let her take the initiative from him, but this time not minding it as much because of the strange, slow burning pleasure she was giving him.

After a while, Hisoka took Aada's wrists to remove them from his shoulders and took his shirt off her. One of his hands found its way to the small of her back, while the other pushed on her throat. Her body arched; he leaned towards her and his mouth latched onto one of her breasts to leave another mark on her. He was rewarded with a rather loud moan; one of her hands grabbed a fistful of his hair to keep him in place and she supported her weight with the other one to keep moving.

The rhythm was painfully slow and not something Hisoka was used to, but at the same time new, different, exciting; he enjoyed the reactions he was getting from her, so he kissed his way up Aada's chest, her neck, then grabbed both sides of her face to crush their mouths together. He bit on her lower lip; Aada gasped and then responded by pulling his lightly, angling her face so she could kiss him deeper. For a man that did not partake in kissing too often, once again Hisoka discovered he enjoyed it, that the intimacy that was always too much for him seemed to fit the situation this time. He moved back, looking at her; Aada's eyes were glazed with lust, but kept their focus, and her gaze held an intensity he'd never experienced. The way she looked at him was intoxicating, giving him a sense of power over her that he'd never felt before. Now he knew what the feeling reflecting in her eyes was, at least in name. She threw her head back and moaned his name when he helped her by moving her hips with his hands; he felt he was close already, and suddenly, amidst sharp breaths and the sound of skin moving on skin, he wanted to hear it again, the words she'd said before, to fully reaffirm his claim and control over her.

"Tell me." he said, his hips thrusting up, burying him deeper into her with every move.

She looked at him, her eyes hazy with pleasure and lust, silently asking his meaning.

"Tell me what you feel for me."

Aada froze for a second, her face quickly changed from unsure to determined. She leaned towards him and kissed him again, tangling her fingers in his hair while maintaining her rhythm. She moved to nip on his neck right below his ear, then licked his earlobe.

"Hisoka…" she whispered, "I love you."

His eyes grew wide, feral as his body tensed, his mind not following and not understanding why these words had such an effect on him. He flipped her on her back, their bodies still connected, this time moving slow, deep, his eyes searching hers. Aada bit her lip and hooked her ankles behind Hisoka's back, pulling him down until his body covered hers completely. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close as he kept moving inside her. Eventually, she trembled beneath him, and her hand wandered down his spine in a lazy caress.

"Hiso… ka…" she whispered, "My magician." He growled in response, her choice of words immediately releasing his usual possessiveness; he moved faster, more violent, until his body arched as he came hard, and collapsed on her, completely spent, his ragged breaths warm on her skin.

Aada moved from underneath him slowly and lay on her back, dragging him towards her, so he was half laying on top of her. Her arms embraced him; she kissed his forehead and moved his head to rest in the crook of her neck as her fingers drew delicate circles on his back, and then stroked his hair. She loved touching his hair, wildly colored and surprisingly soft, slipping through her fingers like water. Once again, she had caught a glimpse of another side of him, and wondered what had made her stay when the rational thing to do would be to run. She never liked giving up, surprised she was able to take a gamble in this particular situation, with her own heart at stake, until she came to terms with the truth that instead of scaring her, the darker side of Hisoka excited her, a feeling she usually associated with a difficult surgery, now increased tenfold. The magician was intriguing and addictive; someone softer and gentler would likely be much easier to be with, but not as satisfying. If she even managed to keep him, she wondered if the continual struggle and perpetual high-strung emotional state would eventually tire her, but again decided against analyzing the possible outcomes. She had done enough of planning and analyzing when she had had to restructure her life twice in the past, and this time she wouldn't.

Hisoka felt spent and strangely content, not minding Aada's delicate touches. When she said she loved him, not in her sleep, but fully awake, and as he was claiming her again, something stirred in him, an unfamiliar itch he wasn't sure how to scratch. He wouldn't think about it, not now. After a while, Aada's hands stopped moving and Hisoka frowned angrily. He liked it, he didn't want her to stop. He was too tired and sleepy to voice his displeasure, so he simply grabbed her hand and motioned it to move in his hair again, then nudged the other one to keep stroking his back, his eyes closed, missing a small smile on Aada's face. It felt good, being held like that. Safe.

Safety was not a notion that was overly present in Hisoka's life and frankly speaking, he never missed it. There was no place for safety when hunting his new prey, never knowing whether the next challenge would bring him satisfaction or death. Despite his confidence in his own abilities, Hisoka preferred not to enter a fight he knew he'd win. What would be the point? And now there he was, so much stronger than her, and yet it was Aada who was holding him close, as if she was the one to protect him. Hisoka loved and hated the feeling at the same time, being so used to relying only on his own strength.

Even in his tired state, his confusion was reaching its peak, contradicting thoughts battling for dominance, the push to break Aada, dominate her, consume her and leave after ensuring his win tainted with an unfamiliar want to stay. _Enough_ , he thought, he could always decide what to do later; now, he wanted to stay like this for a while longer, and so he nuzzled his face deeper into the crook of Aada's neck and wrapped his arm around her waist in a gesture that for her would likely feel possessive, but for him meant a surprising need to be gentle. Sleep finally came, accompanied by feather-light touches.

Aada listened to his breathing evening out and waited, not wanting to disturb Hisoka's slumber. She'd gladly stay with him like that all day if only it were possible, even though telling him how she felt has left her feeling vulnerable and afraid. Everything was out in the open now. Just as she suspected, he didn't say he loved her back, not that she was expecting him to.

She sighed, before slowly slipping from Hisoka's warm embrace to clean herself up, dress, and prepare for the day at the clinic. She was glad she wasn't scheduled for a shift at the hospital until the next day, hoping the relative calm of the clinic would help her relax and think. The room was slightly chilly and she brought the duvet higher to cover the magician. A spark of silver caught her eye and, seeing her engagement ring on the floor by the window, she felt a jolt of anger. She admitted to herself that Hisoka's possessiveness was a turn on, but if there was even a slightest chance for the two of them to become something more substantial, he'd have to learn to respect her boundaries. He did not get to make such decisions for her. She tiptoed towards the window to pick the ring up and, after a moment of hesitation, put it back on her finger. She knew that what she'd had with Henn was now truly over, but she needed some time to finally say goodbye. She cast the last glance over her shoulder and left, closing the door behind her.

Hisoka woke up an hour later, his mind groggy and immediately sensing he was alone in the bed. He looked around; he was definitely alone, a lone mug sitting on the nightstand, his clothes folded neatly and placed on the bed next to him. He groaned and buried his face in the pillow. He felt uneasy and on edge. This feeling, this strange pull that he felt when he was inside her and she said she loved him, what was that exactly? He was confused. He always searched for physical strength to find a challenge, to feel the unmistakable adrenaline surge coming from striding the fine line between life and death. When he'd met Aada, he just wanted to have fun with her, push her buttons, explore. She had inner strength that fascinated him; a sparkling intelligence, sharp mind, a conviction that drove her and so the more he got to know her, the more he wanted her to submit to him, to break her, corrupt her. Instead, he had demanded she admitted she loved him.

She was provoking unfamiliar feelings, their novelty making him wonder if he wanted to embrace and accept them; feelings he did not understand, but instinctively knew that they stood in a sharp contrast to how he lived his life, a life that he enjoyed immensely. Aada's scent lingered on the pillow; the pine needles and resin first pulled Hisoka into a strange state of calm contentedness, but after a while started to suffocate him. He felt as if the life he led was being endangered by her. The magician usually knew exactly what it was that he wanted in a given moment and lack of certainty, in the very rare instances it happened, would always put him on edge. He wasn't sure what to do next and hated the confusion that he was not familiar with, feeling a wave of anger building slowly and steadily inside him.


	19. A Spark

**A Spark**

Aada stretched and sat down on the battered old couch on the porch, trying to wrap her head around what happened. Where would they go from there? She bared her feelings, still unsure if this was the right thing to do. Why did Hisoka demand it? Was there even a slightest chance that he could reciprocate what she felt? In the short time she'd known him, he'd become an important part of her life, and she didn't regret it, even if their motives were likely very different.

Since she'd lost Henn, there was only one thing that Aada dedicated herself to with passion and commitment – her vocation. Whenever she was waging her battle, it was not only the patients she was thinking of, but also the ones they would leave behind should she fail. Much of her drive was dedicated to making sure they never had to go through what she had once felt - the emptiness, helplessness, a never ending string of what ifs. Also, there was selfishness involved; saving people made Aada feel better about herself, keeping emptiness at bay. The addictive adrenaline rush she felt when defying death and winning was a fine drug, one she would never decide to quit.

She felt overwhelmed now, slowly turning the ring on her finger. The feelings she had had for the man that was once to be her husband were strong; when she met him, she felt whole for the first time since her parents died in the train crash. Henn wanted her to explore her dreams, although he seemed overprotective at times, skeptical of her new ideas, trying to hold her back, lest she get hurt and be disappointed. Thinking back, Aada believed that feeling so lonely after her parents died, it was obvious she had fallen for somebody like Henn - kind, loyal, patient. Part of her thought that doing what she did now was also driven by the need to be closer to the one she used to love, fulfilling a dream that belonged both to him and her. When she heard that he had been in an accident, at first she thought it was a bad joke. She had already lost two precious people to a similar circumstance; it was impossible for it to happen again.

It was possible; the realization sunk in deep as she sat at his bedside, knowing that nothing could be done, that his body was too broken, that it was only a matter of time, at times realizing she wished he'd die already so his suffering would end, and hating herself for it. She recalled Leorio's hand on her shoulder tethering her to sanity; his calming presence helping her pick herself up from experiencing the death of the man she loved.

After Henn's death, Aada threw herself into work, grasping at the consolation it offered, a sense of purpose. She resigned herself to thinking that love was a faraway, abstract notion that did not hold any meaning to her life post-Henn, until suddenly and unexpectedly, it did. Unknowingly, she touched the pocket of her jeans and felt the slim, rectangular shape of the card she got from the magician shortly after they met, a queen of hearts.

Henn was kind and calm, putting others before himself. He was altruistic to a fault and felt the overwhelming need to help, sometimes making her feel she was his project, the broken girl with no parents. She shook her head; she should not harbor such thoughts, it was unfair. As for the present, Hisoka was everything Henn wasn't – self-centered, rebellious and violent. Aada never thought she'd fall for somebody embodying these qualities. Hisoka wasn't caring or attentive, but he also pushed her – to tap into her inner strength, to try new things; he wasn't holding her back – he was stoking the flame. She wondered if she chose him instinctively because she knew how strong, unbreakable he was, so he wouldn't die like Henn and leave her alone, consciously disregarding that being with someone like him would be difficult. Did she let it happen because despite their differences, they shared a common ground, a deep connection borne of the constant need to defy the odds? Either way, she let herself be sucked into a maelstrom that was Hisoka. She heard a sound of approaching footsteps and looked up, not sure yet how she should act around the magician and felt relieved to see Leorio standing next to her. He looked back at her, his eyes smiling behind the small shades.

"Anything you want to share?" he asked playfully and handed her a cup of fresh coffee. "Here. I don't presume you had much sleep."

"You might as well talk to me." He added. "You owe me that much… since I couldn't sleep in today after my night shift."

Aada blushed slightly at his words and looked at him apologetically, expecting him to be angry and bracing for a lecture. Leorio sighed and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Relax. I'm not going to scold you, or try to convince you what you did was wrong. Someone reminded me recently that perhaps I had been a bit overprotective."

Aada covered his hand with hers.

"I like your protectiveness." She admitted. "It makes me feel safe."

Leorio nodded, content, and gave her another reassuring smile, but it quickly faltered. For some reason, he looked very uncomfortable.

"Did you…" he started, "Ehm… Were you…" Aada looked at him, her brow furrowed, but then understanding suddenly dawned on her and she tried her best not to laugh. Instead, she looked at Leorio with feigned innocence.

"Was I what?" she asked sweetly.

"Oh you little… You are enjoying this, aren't you?" groaned Leorio. "Were you… safe? You know we have these… ehm… pills, in the exam room…"

Aada couldn't hold back the laughter anymore.

"A grown man, soon to be a certified doctor, still has difficulty talking about contraception." She said, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. "You know me… what do you think?"

Leorio sighed, relieved.

"Good." He replied. "And… Where is… _he_ now?"

"Still asleep." Answered Aada.

"Oh..." Leorio's eyes widened. He knew her well, and didn't like what he could read in her tender, delicate smile. "You..."

Aada nodded, a sad, unsure look suddenly appearing on her face. Leorio came closer and put his arms around her. Aada rested her forehead against his stomach in a familiar gesture they shared many times before, stoking his protectiveness. He was sure Hisoka just wanted to play with her, to use her in some way. He thought Aada's grief was still too strong, so he wasn't going to scold her because she deserved comfort, even if it was from someone like Hisoka, but was convinced she wouldn't take it further. He didn't expect his friend to fall for the magician, but seeing her face now only proved how wrong he was, and it worried him. This couldn't end well; she was still too vulnerable, and Hisoka was too unpredictable; even if he was capable of love, he likely only loved himself. He wondered if he should tell her what had transpired between them, how Hisoka threatened him. Aada hummed quietly, enjoying the embrace, and stroked his forearm.

"I'm not sure what to do, Leorio… what should I do?" she asked. "I know it may sound unreasonable, but I know what I want, I just… I don't know how to talk to him about it. I'm not sure if he'd even consider it."

"After all I've told you, you are considering being in a relationship with someone like him." Leorio couldn't hide incredulity in his voice.

"People change, Leorio…" she whispered in response.

"Not him." Leorio shook his head decidedly. "Listen, I understand you needed a distraction. It's fine. But don't try molding him into someone he's not. He won't let you, and he'll hurt you."

"Maybe." When she lifted her chin to look up at him, Aada's eyes had a decisive look telling Leorio that she's already made up her mind. "But after last year I didn't think I could..." she paused. "I want to give it a try."

She closed her eyes and again rested her head against Leorio in a silent gesture of trust and request to trust in return.

"You're asking me to support you." He sighed.

He barely felt Aada nod and his hand moved to stroke her hair as he tried not to show his worry. He knew Hisoka enough to understand that his best friend got herself into a situation that was way over her head. He was wondering what he could do to help her; at first, he only settled for offering comfort and the support she was asking for, but then decided against it. He may be overprotective like Kurapika thought, but Aada was too important for him to stand by and do nothing. She had the right to know all the variables.

"I'm not sure how you should talk to him, if that is indeed what you want." he started, "But you should know something before you act. Back when I told you more about him, when you distanced yourself from him for a while…" Leorio stopped, not sure how to break it to her. He knew he'd hurt her, but it would be nothing in comparison to what the magician could do to her. He felt a bad taste in his mouth, knowing he'd effectively put Aada in a situation where she'd be pulled between the man she fell for, and the man who was her best friend, but he'd already made the first move, and he wouldn't turn away from this anymore.

"Hisoka knew it was because I advised you to do that. He threatened me." He admitted.

Aada's eyes widened in disbelief and she looked up at her friend.

"What… what do you mean?" she asked, torn between wanting to know the answer and asking Leorio to keep quiet, instinctively knowing that the truth would change the dynamics between her and the magician. "Did he hurt you?"

"He… not much. He told me not to stand between him and something he wanted." Said Leorio. "He said that you were his, to do whatever he wanted, and if I continued meddling, he'd… he'd hurt you. I didn't know if he meant it, but I didn't want to take the risk. Not with you. I'm sorry; I should've told you sooner no matter what he said."

Aada froze, assaulted by a barrage of emotions: anger, sadness, disappointment. She didn't know what to say; she got up, shivering, and Leorio gathered her close again, embracing her as strong as he could. He didn't hear anything; he only felt a swoosh of air and did not have time to react before he found himself pinned to the wall, an iron grip choking the air out of his lungs.

"Don't touch her." Hisoka's voice was menacing.

Leorio wanted to say something, anything, but Hisoka's fingers were crushing his throat.

"I had warned you before, but you just won't listen." Snarled the magician, tightening his hold even further, his nails digging into Leorio's neck, drawing blood. His other hand stiffened, fingers curling until sharp nails resembled claws ready to tear into the flesh of the one he was holding. "I've had enough of you."

"Hisoka! Let him go!" Aada's voice was scared as she rushed to the two men, trying to pull Hisoka's hand off Leorio's throat and failing. Hisoka's head turned in her direction and Aada felt terrified of him for the first time. His eyes were feral, angry. She couldn't see his aura, but she felt it as it flared around him furiously, enveloping both of them; the malice that radiated from it making her freeze before wanting to run away and hide.

Hisoka couldn't understand his emotions earlier, and now he acted on instinct, on what drove him for so many years. Violence. First she made him feel all these unfamiliar, unwanted feelings, and now she was mocking him. Weeks ago, he started to reel her in on a whim, out of boredom, happy to distract himself from his chase for Chrollo, liking the intellectual challenge she posed. He wanted to play with her, use his manipulation skills to his satisfaction, bend that strong spirit to his will, and leave.

On some deeper level he felt that the fact she kept challenging and surprising him was the reason why he prolonged the game, that he enjoyed it enough to want to continue, gradually losing sight of his ultimate goal, that if she submitted to him fully, she would not have the same allure, and that was not something Hisoka initially factored into his equation. When he saw Aada with Leorio, the first feeling that swept over him was insecurity, a suspicion that there was more between the two than they let on. It was quickly followed by jealousy, and then a surprising, prickling feeling of uneasiness when Leorio revealed what had happened between the two of them and a brief moment of worry regarding what Aada would think of him. But then he saw it – a silvery spark on her finger, and all previous feelings immediately morphed into overwhelming anger, as the absolute possessiveness he felt was also not part of his plan. He was not supposed to feel this way; it stood in contradiction to what he believed in, to the safety of the life he led. It had to end, now, this unacceptable, nauseating sway she started holding over him.

"You..." he spat, "Back away. You don't have a say in this."

Aada gasped and stumbled backwards. She had sensed the darkness in Hisoka all along and liked its glimpses, but now that it surfaced, she was not prepared for it.

"Please… Hisoka…" she tried, directing all her efforts to standing her ground when all she wanted to do was run. "Please don't hurt him, he's my best friend…"

The magician snarled angrily again and released Leorio, who fell to his knees, coughing and gasping for air. Instead, Hisoka pinned Aada against the wall.

"You will not let anyone else touch you, do you understand?" he hissed, "Take that… thing off. You are mine. Mine to do as I please, and when I please. Admit it."

He was gripping her right hand so strong she could almost hear the bones grinding against each other and her mind went blank.

"Let go, please…" she whispered, too terrified to try to stop the tears falling down her cheeks. "Not my hand. Please."

"Take. That. Thing. Off. NOW." He repeated, suddenly feeling more powerful, knowing that all he had to do to punish her was to tighten his grip, to break bones and tendons until what defined Aada so profoundly was taken from her and couldn't understand what was stopping him from doing just that.

Aada gasped, feeling desperate; somewhere deep down she knew it might end this way, and yet only a few minutes ago she refused to admit it. She still couldn't bring herself to regret being with Hisoka; it made her feel pathetic, but it was only a moment before she let go and let the anger consume her, as the trait they both shared awoke in her fully. Pride. She wasn't a little, helpless girl. She needed a man to complete her, not define her. Even now, she loved him, but refused to humiliate herself for the sake of keeping his attention; there were things she was willing to forgive and forget, but threatening and hurting someone as precious to her as Leorio wasn't one of them. She knew letting Hisoka go would hurt, but she'd been through a much worse pain.

"I am not your possession, Hisoka." she said, her voice calm despite her inner turmoil. "I may be yours, but you don't own me." Her free hand reached to his shoulder and she pushed with all her strength. His grip on her right hand lessened, but not by much.

Hisoka was furious. The reason why he even started all this was getting blurred, his mind succumbing further to anger and the need to distance himself. This game of power, dominance and submission wasn't worth it. It felt bitter, knowing that even after all the time he had spent with Aada, he had enough strength to break her, but not bend her. But even if his initial goal wasn't met, he would still prevail. He still knew how to win.

"Very well." he said, releasing her. "I don't need you." the words left his mouth before he could think or regret saying them.

Aada's head hung low, her hand rubbing her tear stained cheeks. She wasn't crying anymore.

"But I..." she said without thinking, her voice quiet, subdued, and immediately stopped herself, disgusted with her own weakness.

"You what? Love me?" snarled Hisoka. "Look at yourself. Look how weak it's made you. It disgusts me."

Aada looked at him, silent, her eyes wide and hurt. Something stirred deep inside of him, but it was already too late, he was too far gone, spiraling, striving to understand what drove him to the place he was now, grasping at what was still understandable - the need to win at all cost.

"I don't love you." he said, drawing twisted satisfaction from how the contours of Aada's face seemed to freeze at every word that left his mouth. "I never did."

Aada swallowed audibly, trying to gather all her remaining strength. There wasn't much left. Hisoka's words cut her, more than she expected, but she knew she needed to hear them, to be able to let go.

"I know." she replied calmly.

"You should leave, Hisoka." she continued, her voice growing stronger. "What I feel… it will last, for a time. I can't help it. But still… I refuse to be your toy, your pastime. I've had enough of your games. It felt good, exciting for a while… until you hurt somebody I love. If your goal was to find the most efficient way to hurt me, congratulations. You win. Now go. Don't come back.

"And don't think I will stay like this forever." She added, feeling the need to make her point, to get back at him for hurting her, even though he probably wouldn't care. "It will take time, but I will move on. And one day you'll mean nothing to me. Nothing but a mistake, an error in judgement."

There was a split second when Hisoka felt the unfamiliar pull again, seeing her like this and knowing he'd caused it; seeing that contrary to what he'd said, she wasn't weak at all. For a fleeting moment he experienced a disturbing need to gather her closer and try to figure out what was it that he was feeling underneath all the anger, but his nature took over.

"I couldn't care less." he spat, "You were not worth my time, after all."

Leorio watched his friend, his heart constricting painfully. He loved Aada, and it pained him to see her hopes shattered. She did not deserve this. She had so much to offer, if only Hisoka wasn't blinded by violence, rage, by who he was. He knew it would be naïve to expect that the magician would see what he was being given and appreciate it. It was better this way. Aada would hurt, but she'd move on, and maybe in future find someone less dangerous and volatile, someone capable of loving her like she deserved. Until then, he would be there for her, whatever she needed.

Hisoka turned around and left, not sparing another glance in Aada's direction. A quiet, resigned sigh was the only answer he got, but she did not try to stop him. She had nothing left to say to him. Hisoka thought leaving would make him feel light, better; still, as he was walking away, he felt a strong pull, and it took him a while to understand that his bungee gum was attached to the one he left behind, and realized he didn't know when it happened. He turned around; Aada must have stumbled when she was struggling against it, she was now on her knees.

"Release me." The two words now sounded much different than barely hours before, strained, sad and angry.

"Release." He said, and was surprised when his nen flared, but did not fully dissipate. "Release." he growled. Satisfied, he turned around again and walked away. His interests attached to people quickly, and would detach just as fast. He's done that in the past, and he would do so now.

Unbeknownst to all of them, big, grey eyes, lightly tinted with red, were observing the scene. When he wanted, Kurapika could be as silent as a shadow. He was watching from the doorway, hidden behind the frame. He had been there ever since he'd heard the clamor of a body crashing onto the floor and felt relieved that Leorio was relatively unharmed. If he had to, he'd fight the magician, but didn't like the odds of Leorio and Aada being hurt in the aftermath. When Leorio was coughing on the floor and Aada was crying, Kurapika was the only one who paid close attention to Hisoka. He noticed how his eyes widened by a fraction, a sudden hesitation in the magician's posture, his hand that barely moved towards Aada before clenching into a fist. Kurapika activated his gyo and could see slim tendrils of Hisoka's aura attaching themselves to her. Whatever happened between the two of them, Hisoka was not completely immune to it, although he either denied it or couldn't see it. Kurapika sighed, wondering what he should do. Still, even though he felt sad for Aada, he knew she was vulnerable and her best friend was the only company she needed now, and so he left as quickly and quietly as he arrived.

Aada sat back and pushed herself against the wall in an attempt to get up, but then slowly slumped against it, watching Hisoka disappear into the distance. He terrified her, but still she couldn't help the sharp pain and the feeling of loss. She didn't know how long she stayed there, watching the bend in the road where he disappeared, before she felt strong arms gathering her close.

"Hey…" the voice was soothing, "It's alright. I'm here." She grabbed Leorio's shirt and buried her face in his chest, unable to control the sobbing that tore out of her. She managed to stop crying in front of Hisoka, but now that he was gone, so was the remainder of her self-control. She felt like a teenage girl again, abandoned by someone she loved once more. She shook her head, willing herself to calm down. It wasn't the same; back then she had been alone, and now she had Leorio. As if in answer to her thoughts, he scooped her up in his arms and got up, holding her close as he headed inside the house.

"You warned me…" whispered Aada, "He hurt you, and it's my fault. If only I'd listened… I'm so sorry."

Leorio sighed.

"You can't help who you love, Aada." He said, "Don't feel bad for offering your love to someone. It's not your fault; he is poison. He is too deeply flawed."

Aada looked up at him, before hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

"He's not flawed." She whispered.

Leorio shook his head.

"Don't defend him, not after this."

"You are fully entitled to say 'I told you so'…" she mumbled against the collar of his shirt. "But please, don't."

"I won't." He replied, "I'll be here, with you. Whenever you need me."

"Thank you." she whispered.

Leorio kissed the top of her head.

"Don't thank me. You're my family. That's what family does. You'd do the same for me."

There was a weak smile on Aada's face before she raised her head and replied.

"Nope." She said, and seeing Leorio's startled expression she added more. "You're way too heavy for me to carry."

Leorio snorted and shook his head helplessly.

"Corny jokes?" he said, "I'd better pour some wine into you, fast. And I'll call the hospital and tell them you're sick."

"Take us to the exam room first. Let me have a look at your neck while I'm still sober."

"And… Thanks, Leorio." Added Aada and squeezed his arm. "I love you; you know that, right?"

"Sure I do. Who wouldn't love me, with all my charm?"

Aada smiled at him in response. She knew the following days would be difficult, a price to pay for her naïvety, but she had her friend, and she had her work. She'd make her way through this, one step at a time, just like before, and come out stronger. In time, it would be easier. She wouldn't forget, but time was a much better medic than she could ever hope to be.


	20. Masks and Revelations

**Masks and Revelations**

Kurapika entered the living room slowly. The lights were dimmed and the only sound was a silent murmur of the TV in the background. There were two empty wine bottles on the coffee table, and two glasses. On the couch, Aada was sleeping snuggled into Leorio's side, covered with a checkered blanket, her arm on his chest, clutching at his shirt as she slumbered. Leorio's arm was draped over her shoulders, holding her close and his head rested on the top of the couch. Kurapika smiled despite the sad situation that caused the view in front of him; Leorio was such a good friend, so kind, understanding and loyal. Loving. He liked seeing this side of his long-time friend, it was endearing. For a brief moment Kurapika imagined himself in Aada's place, liking the idea of being held like this.

"Hey." The doctor's quiet voice interrupted his musing.

"Hey." Answered Kurapika and looked down, suddenly ashamed of his own thoughts.

Leorio stretched and Aada mumbled something in her sleep. The doctor brought her chin up and caressed her cheek, waiting for her to wake up, oblivious of an involuntary surge of jealousy his tender gesture caused in Kurapika. Aada blinked owlishly.

"Leorio?" she asked, "What time is it?"

"It's late." He replied, "I'll take you to bed, ok?"

She nodded, and he got up and picked her up from the couch, carrying her to her bedroom, Kurapika following. Aada grabbed her friend's shirt.

"I don't want to sleep there, not tonight. Please."

Leorio stopped and immediately chastised himself for being insensitive. Of course she wouldn't want to sleep there; not in the bed she'd shared with a man who hurt her and left.

"Do you want to sleep in my room instead?" he asked gently, wanting to make it up to her. Unbeknownst to him, Kurapika's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes. I'd like that." Replied Aada immediately, smiling sadly.

Leorio went to his room, aware that Kurapika was following. He looked back at the Kurta.

"Would you mind opening the door for me? And turn on the lights, please?" he asked.

Kurapika only nodded, not finding any words. Once they were in the room, Leorio deposited his friend gently on the bed and tucked her in. When he wanted to leave, she grabbed his hand.

"I'll be right back, OK?" he reassured her. "I'll get you some water."

Aada nodded, feeling helpless and bereft. She was starting to feel a throbbing headache pressing against her temples, only one thought prominent enough for her to be able to concentrate on. The people she loved kept leaving her. She couldn't lose another.

"Leorio…" her voice was weak, subdued, her strength used up after she stood up to Hisoka and let him go. "You won't leave me, right?"

The doctor smiled.

"Nonsense." He said firmly, "Of course I won't leave you; I love you. You should know that well by now."

Aada smiled, first genuine smile since Hisoka left.

"I love you too... Let's stay together, always." She mumbled, slowly falling asleep.

Kurapika gasped, feeling his heart constricting in his chest painfully as he remembered words Aada had shared with him on a lonely night they shared over a cup of bitter tea.

 _He's easy to love, isn't he?_

For so long he had been consumed by his desire of revenge that he disregarded his own feelings, especially the ones he felt whenever he was close to Leorio. And now, after he'd spent weeks with him and finally realized what it was that he felt for his friend, he was on the losing side. He watched Leorio kiss Aada's forehead and wished he could trade places with her. He also couldn't help but feel angry. How could she? He had thought Leorio cherished her as a friend, but he clearly said he loved her; and not only did she fall for Hisoka, but now that he was gone, she immediately switched to the one that was next to her? He thought better of her. He wouldn't let Leorio be a substitute for somebody else. Kurapika also felt like she was betraying his trust, disregarding the fact that he never told her how he felt about Leorio, having problems admitting it even to himself. He had thought she understood without words – they seemed to share a connection because like him, she'd lost her family and offered him acceptance and comfort without hesitation. After that night when they talked about their nightmares, he slowly, hesitantly started counting Aada among the small number of friends he had, and now the trust he'd placed in her had been shattered.

"Come, Kurapika." Leorio motioned him to leave the room.

Leorio went to the kitchen to get Aada's water. He chose to leave the lights off, only content with the moonlight seeping through the curtains, the surprisingly bright and calm face of the full moon helping him relax. Kurapika followed, unable to help it, feeling furious. Watching his friend pour water into a glass, he finally snapped.

"Are you really OK with this?" he asked, his voice sharp.

Leorio looked at him, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm not. She's hurt. I hate it when she's hurt. " He answered.

Kurapika huffed angrily.

"What I meant was, are you OK with her moving on to you just like that? She can't have Hisoka, so she takes the next best thing. I can see you love her, but don't you have a modicum of self-esteem?"

Leorio's eyes widened in sudden understanding, and then he started laughing, taking Kurapika completely by surprise and making him feel even more confused.

"Why the hell are you laughing?" he asked angrily.

Leorio gathered his courage, aided by the two bottles he'd shared with Aada earlier that night, and walked towards Kurapika.

"Kurapika…" he said, "You've got it all wrong."

The Kurta frowned, not understanding.

"Of course I love Aada." Explained Leorio, "She's the closest thing I have to family, and I have utmost respect for her as a doctor."

"But..." he hesitated, "There's nothing between us… Not like that."

"Care to explain?" Kurapika was growing impatient and couldn't mask the disbelief in his voice. He knew he was in no position to demand answers, but couldn't help it. He needed to know everything.

Leorio sighed, feeling a little uneasy with the revelation he was about to spring on Kurapika, but then decided to throw caution to the wind.

"You see…" he started, feeling a little awkward, "There's someone else I deeply care about. It took me a while to understand what I was feeling, and it wasn't easy to accept. I tried to deny it at first, because it felt strange, unnatural… something I'd never considered before. But that feeling stayed with me, until it became the most natural thing in the world."

Kurapika's brows arched and he held his breath, awaiting Leorio's next words.

"Aada knows." explained Leorio, "And she also happens to know who it is that I love. She actually teased me about it… And encouraged me to tell him, sooner rather than later."

Kurapika's breath hitched and his heart started beating faster. He dared not to hope, but he had to ask.

"Him…?" he cleared his throat before continuing. "Who is it, Leorio?"

The doctor smiled a delicate, shy smile that looked out of place given his usual boisterous demeanor.

"It's you, Kurapika." He said, touching the younger man's face gently. "It's been you, for a long while now."

Kurapika's eyes widened and took on a crimson shade. He was shaking, overwhelmed by a sudden surge of disbelief, shock, and joy. The silvery shine of moonlight illuminating Kurapika's face made him look like a creature of myth or legend, too beautiful for the rusty, sharp edges of the real world. Despite the wonder he felt, Leorio took his friend's hesitation as a sign of being uncomfortable and started pulling his hand away. Kurapika grabbed it, and then stood on his toes to kiss Leorio, surprising himself as spontaneity wasn't something he often succumbed to. It was only a brief, chaste kiss, but it left both of them feeling blissful.

"Kurapika…" it was Leorio's turn to be surprised. "Do you…?"

"Yes. I most certainly do." Kurapika said firmly, for the first time in many years making a decision without careful planning and detailed analysis of potential outcomes. For a long time, he'd been putting his revenge before anything else, be it friendship or his own needs that he chose to neglect, but now that he was presented with something he wanted, he did not hesitate to reach out for it, and it left him feeling liberated. Without thinking, he grabbed Leorio's face with both hands and dragged him down for another kiss. After a long while, their lips parted and both of them were panting, looking at one another.

"You've made me very happy." said Leorio, a small smile on his face. "So happy," he added, "that I almost feel guilty, given what she's going through."

His head hung low now, but Kurapika would have none of it, not now, when something he wanted for a long time, at first not even knowing he did, came true. The anger he had felt towards Aada dissipated, replaced by shame for judging her so harshly because of his own insecurity and fears. He gently stroked Leorio's cheek before answering.

"We'll make her better, together, OK?" he said. "We'll both be there for her."

"And us…?"

"We have all the time in the world." Replied Kurapika immediately. "I'm not going to change my mind, and I understand Aada needs your attention now."

Leorio smiled happily and squeezed Kurapika's hand.

"Does it mean you'll stay longer, even though Hisoka's gone?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes." Kurapika nodded. "I will need to leave from time to time to take care of the Nostrade business, but it won't be for long. I'll make sure of it." He also briefly thought of the Phantom Troupe, but decided to suppress the thought for now and the novelty of being able to do so felt surprisingly good. His thoughts then turned back to Aada and the feeling that had been gnawing at him ever since he witnessed the scene on the porch.

"I have to tell you though…" he said, choosing his words carefully. "I think Hisoka actually cares about her, he just doesn't understand it. I saw all of you today, and I saw him… the hesitation…"

Leorio frowned angrily.

"I doubt it." He countered, "And even if what you say is true, hesitation is not nearly enough."

Kurapika bit his lip slightly before continuing.

"I think Hisoka might be back, Leorio… Probably not anytime soon, but once he understands, he will."

"No." Leorio said firmly. "I won't let him anywhere near her again."

Kurapika cupped Leorio's face, trying to calm him down. If he was right, if Hisoka indeed cared, came to understand what it was he felt and wanted to come back, there'd be nothing Leorio could do to stop him and given the magician's obsessive nature, he wasn't sure if Aada would have any say in that either; he would simply come back to take what he wanted. Still, Kurapika chose not to share this thought.

"Ok…" he said instead, "I understand. Forget I said anything. Now let's go, shall we?"

His words seemed to placate Leorio and he nodded. They went back to the bedroom. Leorio sat next to Aada on the bed, holding Kurapika's hand. She opened her eyes slowly, smiling when she saw Leorio next to her. Her eyes travelled to their joined hands and her smile grew wider.

"You told him, didn't you?"

Leorio nodded, but it was Kurapika who answered.

"Yes. And now you have both of us." He said.

Aada moved back on the bed, leaving space for her best friend. Leorio lay down next to her, and she put her head on his shoulder, draping her arm across his chest. Kurapika left the room and returned after a moment with his book; upon entering he noticed that both Aada and Leorio were already asleep. He hesitated for a moment before making himself comfortable in an armchair close to the bed. Kurapika watched the two, their features softened by the delicate light of the lone lamp on the nightstand. It had been so long since he'd lost his clan, his family, and his attempt at revenge had left him feeling spent and empty. He listened to Aada and Leorio's slow breathing, marveling at how long it had been since he was close to somebody like this. When he opened his book and started reading, he no longer felt any jealousy, slowly remembering how to enjoy the closeness of people he cared about, after so much time being alone.

* * *

A few days later, Leorio was looking for Aada, worried. She wasn't anywhere in the house. Of course, he thought. The porch. He walked quietly, not wanting to startle her. She was there, just like he suspected; he stopped in the doorway, watching.

She was sitting on the old couch, her chin resting on her bent knees, her outstretched hand holding a cigarette that was burning out slowly, forgotten, the ash falling on the deck. There was a bottle of wine and a glass on the balustrade next to her. Now, he could see her without the mask, and it pained him. He could tell she had been crying, looking at the road leading to the house; no matter how long she was looking, Leorio knew the one she wanted to see wouldn't be back.

He wanted to be there for her. If he could turn back time, he'd never allow Hisoka into their home. She was happy before, he told himself, before making an immediate correction. No, she wasn't, not really. She was going on an autopilot, only concentrated on her job, trying to work through the emptiness, the grief. As much as he hated the magician for hurting the woman he considered his best friend, Leorio had to admit Hisoka made her vibrant and happy again, even if only for a while. The anger and resentment he felt made Leorio's blood boil. If he could, he'd beat the magician into a pulp and make him understand just what he'd been offered, and what he'd decided to throw away like it was nothing. If it only made Aada happy, Leorio would be able to suffer Hisoka's presence. He wasn't there though, and Leorio disagreed with Kurapika, who entertained the possibility that Hisoka would come back. Annoyingly enough, Gon seemed to support this claim after the boys came back and heard what had happened, but quickly learned not to discuss his views on the matter when Leorio was present.

The doctor stepped back quietly into the hallway, and walked to the porch again, aware that now Aada could hear him. When he reached her, the tears were gone, like he expected. The mask was back on, just as it was when she was at work and when she spoke to her friends. She may be able to fool everybody else, but not him. He sat down next to her, and took the cigarette from her hand. He breathed in, inhaling the smoke.

"Just come here." He said, blowing out the smoke.

Aada put her head on his shoulder as they sat there in silence. There wasn't anything left to say; she would not repeat the pathetic string of pleads, wishful thinking, apologies, shame and guilt that poured out of her that first night over too much wine. She was grateful for Leorio's reassuring presence. It had only been a few days, and despite all Hisoka had done and said, she missed him so much it bordered physical pain. She knew she'd been right to stand up to him, but she couldn't help but feel regret. They both had been angry at the time. She should have convinced him to stay, to talk and try to sort this out. She sighed. He probably wouldn't have stayed anyway. She looked at her right hand, now missing the ring, not because Hisoka didn't want her to wear it, but because she knew she didn't belong with the man who had given it to her anymore, and felt it made her situation even more pathetic. She also felt anger, mostly directed at herself, anger for being weak, for letting that man affect her so much. She wouldn't let him win, even if he had no way of knowing it. She sat up and stretched, taken by a sudden idea she liked. She needed something to concentrate on; she refused to wallow in misery if she could do anything about it.

"What is it?" Leorio sounded a bit worried.

Aada patted his shoulder affectionately.

"Nothing to worry about." She replied. "I think I'm going to write an article on the new hip replacement method I've developed, and try for _Yorkshin Medical Journal_ to publish it."

"Oh? Good idea. When?"

Aada smiled at him.

"Now, of course."

"Now?" Leorio's brows arched in surprise, but then he shook his head helplessly, knowing well that when she made a decision, it was close to impossible to convince Aada to change her mind. "You need sleep."

Aada shrugged.

"I don't sleep well these days. I might as well do something productive."

Leorio sighed and got up.

"I'll make you a pot of coffee."

* * *

Blood. Too much, but she'd handle it.

"Forceps." Aada's voice was calm and steady as she extended her hand, knowing Lia would be there to immediately give her the instrument she needed. As usual, barely a second after stating her request, Aada could feel the reassuring weight of surgical steel on her palm. She proceeded to clamp the vein that was giving her trouble, her mind immediately launching into comparing how different the artificial grip was to the more organic one made of nen. She breathed in deeply to get rid of the unwanted train of thoughts; the last thing her patient deserved was for her to get distracted. Even if the procedure she was currently performing was relatively standard and she could likely do it with her eyes closed, the patient deserved her full, undivided attention. She wouldn't think about Hisoka, not now, and not later.

After the procedure, Aada sat down on a bench in the locker room and rubbed her temples tiredly. It's been roughly two weeks since Hisoka left and she was finding it difficult to concentrate on anything but work. Writing the article about her hip replacement procedure had helped for a while and she couldn't deny pride and sense of accomplishment she felt when she'd learned that it would be featured in _Yorkshin Medical Journal_ after all. However, her first reaction clearly reminded her she needed much more time. She wanted him to be there. She wanted to spin him around the room and laugh, just like that night when she'd performed the procedure successfully for the first time. She wanted to share her success with him the most.

Her loss felt much different this time around; when she lost Henn, she missed him too, but now was finding that missing someone who died was completely different to missing one that was alive and well, but simply wanted nothing to do with her anymore. It hurt, only in a different way.

"Are you ok, doctor Holme?"

Hearing the worried voice of her favourite nurse, Aada managed a small smile.

"I'll be fine, Lia." She replied and looked up. "And just how many times have I asked you to call me by my first name?"

A slight blush dusted Lia's cheeks.

"It's not so easy… Aada." She said, and smiled before she continued. "You look like need a cup of coffee."

Aada winced and shrugged and Lia chuckled quietly in response.

"Not the specialty of our hospital." She reassured Aada. "It eerily reminds me of red bean soup… There's a nice new café next door and we have about two hours till the next surgery. Let's relax and drink something that was actually made of _coffee_ beans."

Aada hesitated, but eventually nodded. Leorio told her to make more friends. Leorio told her to go out more. He said it would help. And to be honest, Aada didn't mind; she liked Lia enough to see if they could become friends. Her cheerful disposition sometimes reminded Aada of Gon. She got up and stretched her sore muscles, and then grabbed her bag to follow Lia.

* * *

Blood. A lot, but still not enough.

Hisoka smiled happily as his opponent fell on the arena floor. The magician felt rejuvenated; it may not have been the biggest challenge he's ever faced, but he loved the adrenaline rush he always associated with fighting. As usual, Heaven's Arena did not disappoint and was supplying a seemingly never ending stream of floor master hopefuls, some of them with quite impressive abilities.

So many underestimated him, especially the ones drunk on their newfound power of nen, feeling invincible, wondering how come one with such flashy clothes and make up became a floor master, convinced it was merely a stroke of luck on his part. And so the new, strong combatants often thought the magician's low number of fights meant he was insecure and fought only when he had no choice, to preserve his status. Nobody ever corrected them; the Arena above 200th floor was a jungle where only the strongest thrived, and most of them never minded less competition. Hisoka loved that unmistakable look of recognition and a brief spark of despair in their eyes when the ones carelessly challenging him passed the threshold of understanding their mistake, right before they couldn't see anything anymore. It was no different this time. The challenger still proved to be entertaining enough though.

The magician's body hummed with energy and satisfaction, his pupils widened as the adrenaline rush was slowly wearing out. It was a good decision to return. His brow furrowed; why did he even stay away? He had trouble remembering. He shrugged; it was probably nothing important.

* * *

Hisoka entered the bedroom quietly and had no problems moving around in the dark, he knew the room's layout by heart. He stripped quickly, leaving his clothes in a careless pile next to the bed. He slipped under the covers and pressed his body against another, warm and soft.

"What time is it..?" asked a quiet voice, groggy from sleep.

"Just after 3 am." He replied.

"What? You have no mercy… I have to get up in three hours."

"Do you want me to go?" he asked, amused.

"Noooo…" the person next to him turned around and nuzzled her face in his neck. "You've been gone for too long."

"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" Hisoka's arms encircled the one next to him possessively.

"Tell me about the fight."

"Oooooh?" teased the magician. "But weren't you too sleepy barely a minute ago?"

"It's fine." He was reassured immediately. "Besides, I know you're going to tell me anyway, whether I like it or not." There was a faint trace of amusement in the voice and Hisoka couldn't help but smile before he recounted all details of his last fight on the Arena. After he was done, he was about to go back to his favourite moment, but he was stopped by a finger pressing against his lips.

"That's enough." Again, amusement was clear in the voice of the one next to him. "Come here."

She lay on her back and dragged him with her, his much bigger body now covering hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him even more into her, her mouth brushing against his, then becoming more insistent as she started kissing him deeper. When their lips parted, although it was dark, the magician could swear she was smiling.

"I missed you." she said. "I'm glad you're back."

It was his turn to nuzzle his face into her neck as he greedily inhaled the scent he missed.

"Mine." He whispered, and then repeated the words louder. "You're only mine."

"Is that so?" her voice sounded deeper and huskier. "Why don't you remind me, Hi-so-ka?"

"You asked for it, little pine." He growled and bit into her neck.

Hisoka's eyes opened and he looked into the darkness of his room at the Arena, trying to understand what had just happened. Still dazed from sleep, he touched his lips with his fingertips. He could almost feel the taste, and smell the resin and pine needles. He shook his head and growled angrily, sitting up in his bed. He didn't think much about Aada for the past two weeks; never before did he have to make a conscious effort to forget, but having surrounded himself with familiar routine and activities, he almost succeeded in forcing his mind to do so, until tonight, when all he worked so hard to suppress forced its way back in despite his wishes. This was unacceptable, a sign of weakness. He hated being weak. He breathed in deeply and reassured himself it would pass. He needed more exhilarating fights, more distraction, more reminders that his life was better without her in it. She would fade eventually, and everything would be back to normal. Somewhat calmed down, he lay back down and stretched, finally succumbing to a dreamless sleep that he so needed.


	21. Say My Name

**A/N:** _A big thank you to all of you reading my story, and showing your support by adding it to your favorites and subscriptions, by writing reviews – you give me motivation to keep working on it and it really means a lot. I enjoy writing it and seeing that it provoked a reaction strong enough for somebody to share their thoughts with me or actively follow it is a truly unique feeling that never gets old. You are great! On to the next chapter._

* * *

 **Say My Name**

Hisoka was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall of a narrow corridor, winding down after another fight that proved all too easy; his blood lust no longer easily sated since he'd had the first unwanted dream. The night before proved troublesome as well. He saw his little pine again… Aada, he immediately corrected himself. He would not call her by the pet name he gave her anymore, even if it sounded strange and unfamiliar. This time they were both sprawled on the grass under his favourite beech tree outside the clinic, and she was sitting between his legs with her back against his chest, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. She was gesturing animatedly, telling him about a complex surgery she'd done that day and swatted him playfully when he tried distracting her by running his tongue along her earlobe. He had been livid when he woke up, and he still was. He was furious; his mind, so well trained in forgetting things that no longer held importance, apparently refused to do so in his sleep and from there the unwanted thoughts and memories gradually crept back into his waking hours. He heard footsteps, but chose to ignore them.

"You were amazing."

Hisoka's head snapped up at the sound of the voice. The woman standing close by was a pretty, delicate thing, blonde hair, and big blue eyes that were glazed as she watched him with hunger. It often surprised him how many people like her visited the Arena, watching the fights to sate their growing craving of a thrill, a taste of something dangerous to spice up their lives, and eventually taking action to make their desires a reality. He snickered; he'd used ones like her in the past, and this was just what he needed, another way to erase the pesky thoughts of the one he didn't want to remember, a way to prove that what he'd had with her was of no importance, to degrade it, tarnish it until it held no more sway over him. There was one thing only the woman standing opposite him expected, and he was more than happy to oblige. He got up and walked past her, but then stopped and looked back. It was enough for her to follow.

When they reached his room, Hisoka didn't waste time. He threw her on the bed and was on top of her in a second, intent on sating his cravings. In the past, these quick encounters, the act of dominating and taking the willing body beneath him were enough to give him satisfaction and move on. The woman moaned and tried embracing him. He pinned her hands above her head with one hand, the other unbuttoning her blouse impatiently.

Hisoka settled between her legs, and she arched into him. He bit into her neck hard, inhaling deeply out of reflex, and froze. Roses. Vanilla. Powdery musk. His mind went blank as he fought the memory of another scent, one he wanted to forget so desperately. Too late – it was etched in too deep in his subconscious, cascading down on him in dark, sharp, dry waves of pine resin, needles, moss, incense and damp leaves. It was but a short moment, but once the memory washed away, Hisoka felt that no matter how much he wanted to deny it, the sweet, powdery scent that he could smell now was making him nauseous. He growled angrily as he couldn't concentrate anymore. The woman sensed his hesitation and tried to kiss him, and that's when he snapped.

"Get out." He said and rolled off of her, lay back and covered his eyes with his arm. He could feel she was still there and he lifted his arm slightly to glare at her. She looked back at him, wide eyed, surprised, and he felt he'd had enough.

"Get out." He repeated, his voice menacing, "Or I'll kill you."

The woman scrambled off the bed, gathering her clothes, and mumbling something angrily. He couldn't care less.

When he heard the door close, Hisoka lay back on the bed, his hand reaching into his pants. As he stroked himself, the images appeared on their own, unbidden, mocking him; green eyes, full, plump lips on his skin, dark brown hair, a serpent tattoo.

' _I want time to enjoy all of you… Even if only for tonight…'_

"Leave me alone." His voice sounded strained as he uttered the words. "I don't want you."

Both his mind and body did not seem to obey; his thoughts overflowing with the memory of pale skin marred with dried droplets of blood and delicate, questing hands trailing his skin.

"Get out of my head!" he growled.

' _You are beautiful.'_ His mind was mocking him, and he could almost feel the touch of mouth and tongue on his neck. He bit his lip, no longer fighting to suppress the images in his head; it felt too good.

' _My magician, mine…'_

He moaned, this time remembering the scent of his own volition, almost strong enough to become real, then the warmth of the body beneath him, the pressure of legs wrapped around his hips.

"Say my name." he whispered into the darkness, not caring anymore, only wanting to find his release.

' _Hisoka… Hisoka, mine.'_

His back arched as he came, angry that the intensity did not match what he had experienced with the one he was so adamantly trying to push in the oblivion of his past. He lay in the dark, breathing heavily, his head spinning as he was being pushed between excitement, anger and a strange, hollow feeling of loss. He sat up and sipped water from a glass on his night stand, then hurled it across the room, furious, watching the shattering glass and silvery droplets settling on the floor. He felt humiliated and defeated.

That night, Hisoka dreamt of small, fragile arms holding him close, fingers stroking his hair and back, cool mouth touching his forehead and smiling against his skin. He woke up abruptly when it was still dark, even angrier than before. There was no place for weakness in his life. He never dwelt on the past, he lived for the present, for the future; he kept repeating the words, until he calmed down a bit. He would move on.

'… _don't think I will stay like this forever. It will take time, but I will move on. And one day, you'll mean nothing to me. Nothing but a mistake.'_

Aada's parting words replayed in his head immediately, filling him with anger, his fragile calm immediately shattered. Hisoka thought of her moving on the same way he had tried to, imagining her writhing in pleasure under a body holding her down, moaning as she was being taken by someone other than him. He felt the familiar spike of bloodlust and his hand clenched in a fist.

 _I should have killed her,_ he thought, his mind racing. _I can still kill her and be free of this ridiculousness. I will._

 _I want to kill her._

 _I should kill her._

 _I should want to kill her._

 _I don't want to kill her._

 _I can't._

 _Why? Why can't I?_

Hisoka got up and went to the small kitchenette, careful not to step into the broken glass in the dark. He poured himself a glass of whisky and downed it immediately. He poured another one and turned around to walk towards the window, but changed his mind mid movement and grabbed the whole bottle. He sat down in the armchair at the huge window that made up most of the wall and looked into the night, surprised by the view that he never paid much attention to, a myriad of warm lights flickering in the dark beneath deep, nocturnal ultramarine littered with pale sparks. It evoked memories of stargazing with Aada and he cursed. He drew the curtains, choosing to cut himself from the traitorous view, and resorted to drinking in the dark. Half a bottle later he found himself in front of a silvery laptop, a trinket he'd acquired recently on a whim and had not used much. He quickly input his username and password, then opened the browser and took another swig of his drink. His fingers moved automatically, as if on their own accord, and before long he was looking at the results of his search, shooting the two innocent words with a venomous look, as if they were the ones to blame for his current state.

 _Aada Holme_

He was about to close the laptop lid when he noticed a result on top of the list that had not been there when he researched Aada before. Without thinking, he clicked it. Apparently, his little pine… he paused; Aada had written an article about the hip replacement method she came up with, the one she'd discussed with him one night, so many days ago. It was interesting enough to be included in the latest issue of _Yorkshin Medical Journal_ that he knew she liked reading so much. He didn't want to read it. He really didn't, it was only because he was bored, he told himself as his eyes scanned the text quickly, the sentences shaping up logical and brilliant conclusions proving clearly that the one he left behind still shone just as bright as he remembered.

Hisoka felt conflicted and his emotions ran fast as usual – a surge of pride and then something dangerously close to longing were almost immediately replaced by a wave of anger. He drank the rest of the whisky from his glass and stared at the screen accusingly. A small pop up window appeared like an eager puppy, undeterred and happy to be finally shown some attention after so many days of neglect.

 _Would you like me to set these search criteria as favourite and alert you of new results in the future? YES/NO._

Hisoka's head was spinning when he clicked blindly and then walked back towards the bed, not caring to switch his computer off. He fell on the covers and forgot about his actions even before he let a heavy, alcohol-induced dreamless sleep claim him.

Come morning, Hisoka woke up and groaned, feeling a blunt headache pressing against his temples. He got up slowly and shook his head, trying in vain to be rid of the swaying sensation he was feeling. After drinking copious amounts of water and taking a quick shower, he decided that he'd only go the arena as a spectator that day.

He left the room soon after, humming quietly, wondering where to find something decent to eat before spending the day scouting for a new interesting opponent. Approximately thirty minutes after the laptop screen lit up again and the mouse pointer started moving around on its own. The browser opened and a pop up window appeared immediately.

 _Welcome back, Magician. Would you like me to use your favourite search criteria? YES/NO_

The pointer swiftly moved to YES and lingered for a while, hovering above the results for Aada + Holme. It moved more, skipping through articles and images. Then the browser was closed, and the pointer stopped moving.

* * *

When he came back to his room in the evening, Hisoka felt much better. He found several individuals that day interesting enough to give him a slight rush of excitement and he was looking forward to using them to sate his bloodlust. Even though subconsciously he knew they were substitutes for the one he wanted to fight the most, they would do for now. He was itching to fight Chrollo and knew he wanted to resume his chase, but needed to calm down and forget first. He had to concentrate only on his future fight with the head of the Phantom Troupe if he wanted to draw true pleasure from it.

As he was walking towards the kitchenette he noticed that his laptop was still open on the desk and his brow furrowed. He vaguely recalled using it the night before but didn't remember much of it. Curious, he walked over to the desk and brushed his fingers on the touchpad. As soon as the screen lit up, Hisoka froze and then took several steps back.

The black and white picture of a younger Aada, the one he found when he was researching her in the past was staring at him from the screen. Just like before, it stirred the need to be next to her and protect her from harm; like cold sand that swirls in the lake, muddying the water when one stepped into it fast, it rose from the depths of his thoughts, once again threatening to take away the small amount of clarity he was able to regain that day. He didn't remember finding this picture and certainly not setting it as the laptop wallpaper, but he did drink too much that night. He must have, and he didn't want to analyze what it might have meant.

His bungee gum shot out of his hand like a whip, attaching itself to the computer and then hitting it against the wall repeatedly until it was smashed to pieces. Hisoka was breathing heavily, trying to come to terms with a truth that scared him. He wasn't able to forget, and he wasn't sure how to deal with that fact. He spun around fast and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"There's so much anger in you."

Hisoka raised his head, surprised by the quiet and calm voice that disturbed his train of thought. His favourite Arena bar was almost empty at this time of night, making the situation even more surreal. The person standing next to his table was short and stocky, wearing baggy blue and green clothes completed by a brown hat. It was her voice, distinctively feminine, that revealed her gender more than her looks. Long front teeth protruded from her mouth, making her look almost as some bizarre mix of a human and a rodent with a round, full moon face surrounded by strands of mousy grey hair. Big, round eyes had a worried look in them, but had a strange, calming effect.

"Who are you?" he asked angrily. "What do you want?"

The woman sat down, not asking his permission, undeterred by the hostility in his voice.

"I'm no one special." She replied. "I just heard you from outside, and it got me worried."

"Heard me?" Hisoka was confused. He was sure he said nothing aloud, drinking in silence, carefully avoided by all other patrons.

The woman nodded.

"Yes." She confirmed. "Your heartbeat."

"My… what?" What she was saying was absurd and at first Hisoka thought she was out of her mind, until his curiosity took over and he followed a hunch, activating his gyo. The faint wisps of greenish aura surrounding the woman confirmed his suspicion.

"A hunter?" he probed.

The woman nodded.

"I can hear everyone's heartbeat here, but yours stands out. It's the angriest one around. Violent. It screams at me. Throws me off balance." She explained. "I don't like it when that happens. Makes me lose sleep."

"So you followed it, to make it all better and get a good sleep?" Hisoka felt a bit of amusement, which was a nice change after another sizeable portion of whisky and self-directed anger for not being able to forget. There was something endearing about this strange, mousy woman that was making it difficult for him to be angry at her.

"Yes." She said matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Hisoka chuckled quietly.

"What can you hear then, exactly?" he asked. Every distraction was welcomed, even a bizarre one.

Big, round eyes shone when they looked at him carefully and the woman remained silent for a while, probably weighing her words.

"You are curious now, and grateful for a distraction. But the anger is still there. It is mostly directed towards yourself, but also someone else, isn't it?"

Hisoka's eyes widened, but the woman continued before he could say anything.

"Your heart has just skipped a beat. I am right, aren't I?"

Hisoka stayed silent; out of reflex, his thoughts immediately focused on Aada.

"You are thinking about them now. You feel very conflicted. For some reason, you're angry with them, but now that I can listen past the anger, I can clearly hear something else too."

"What is it?" He asked, curious.

The mouse woman's head tilted slightly to the left, her gaze accepting and understanding.

"Longing."

As soon as he heard the word, Hisoka got angry again but went on the defensive, something he rarely resorted to.

"That's not true."

The woman shook her head.

"You can lie to yourself, but not to me. I can hear it when you do." She said calmly. "You have to either forget whoever you're thinking of, or accept them and find a way to make them fit in your life. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself mad."

Hisoka shook his head.

"I don't have to find anything."

"Oh, but you want to." The woman's smile was unnerving.

"You sound like a cheap fortune teller." Retorted Hisoka. "It's impossible to tell that only from a person's heartbeat, even with nen."

"Is it really?" the woman got up, reached into her pocket and retrieved something. To Hisoka's amazement, it was a flute.

She set to play a beautiful, light melody that immediately made him feel calmer; it was joyous and bright, like soaring songbirds and warm wind of springtime. As he watched her, stunned into silence, the woman put the flute away and smiled at him reassuringly.

"There's only as much that I can do for you." She said. "You'll need to figure out the rest by yourself. The sooner you stop lying to yourself, the sooner things will become clear."

Hisoka shook his head, surprised. He didn't even notice when the woman left. When he returned to his room, the eerie feeling of calm was still upon him, surely the after-effect of another nen ability of his unexpected, strange bar companion. He lay down and slowly succumbed to a deep sleep, feeling relaxed despite his inner turmoil, and did not wake until morning.

* * *

Aada woke up with a start at the sound of her phone ringing, her heart beating fast. Ever since her parents and then Henn, she feared nightly calls – they usually meant nothing good. In the dark, she reached out towards the nightstand to grab the phone and hit her hand against the wood, her glasses falling to the floor. She cursed, finally found the phone and when she brought closer to her face, her brows furrowed – she didn't know the number the call was coming from. She waited a few rings, thinking it was probably someone dialing the wrong number, but the phone kept ringing. Still confused, she tapped 'accept'. It may have been a call from the hospital.

"Hello?" she said, her voice was still groggy from sleep.

She only heard a bit of static as there was no response.

"Who is this?"

Again, silence was her only answer, but whoever was calling stayed on the line, listening. Still barely awake and unable to think clearly, she succumbed to a sudden thought, or more of a wish.

"Is that you…?" she asked quietly, her voice shaking a bit, and paused for a second. "Is that you, Hi-so-ka?"

She thought she could hear a sharp intake of breath, and latched onto her hope, disregarding her resolution to not think of him.

"I'm… I'm still angry with you." She said, unprepared and not knowing how to convey what she felt. "But either way... I miss you. Just… come back, Hi-so-ka. Come back home, ok?"

She waited, her heart hammering against her ribs, wanting him to say something, anything, but no words came in response, and as her mind cleared more, she felt humiliated again.

"Oh, right, I almost forgot." She said bitterly. "You don't care. If you don't want to come back, leave me alone, please. Let me move on."

When her plea met silence yet again, she breathed in deeply, trying to calm down.

"Farewell, Hi-so-ka. This is the last time we speak." She said, and hung up.

She held the phone against her chest for a while, biting her lip and forcing herself not to cry. She didn't want to, not because of him, not again. She curled up in a ball and put a pillow over her head, but sleep eluded her for many hours.


	22. Turpentine

**Turpentine**

"To the amazing doctor Holme!" Lia got up abruptly, cheerful and excited, and tripped, almost falling back to her seat and spilling part of her drink. "Ooops! Near miss!"

Aada couldn't help but chuckle.

After Aada's article got featured in the _Yorkshin Medical Journal_ , the nurse insisted they go out to celebrate and Aada finally relented. In the past weeks they had grown surprisingly close and Aada was finding the novelty of having a female friend nice. Thinking back, she was still amazed that she succeeded with the article; she wrote it overnight, driven by insomnia barely few days after Hisoka left, had only Leorio proof read it and submitted it via e-mail the next day. Barely two days later, she received a favorable response, which led to the current situation – they were in a club not far from the hospital, accompanied by the nurse's boyfriend, who was now watching her antics with an amused smile on his face. Aada knew they both wanted to celebrate with her, but still couldn't help feeling like a fifth wheel. Unfortunately, Leorio couldn't join her due to a late night shift, the boys were way too young to go to a club, and she didn't think Kurapika would be interested. She sighed quietly; if only Hisoka had been there. If only she could celebrate her success with him. Almost immediately, she shook her head, wanting to get rid of unwanted thoughts and took a sip of her wine. The magician wasn't there, and he wouldn't be; if anything, the call she'd received the night before was more than a proof, provided it wasn't simply a wrong number calling which would mean she'd made a fool of herself again. Still, even if she had, she needed to move on, the sooner the better.

"Thanks, Lia." She smiled and raised her own glass. "Now, let's drink to the best nurse I've ever worked with!"

"M-Mme?!" Lia's eyes were huge, several drinks she's already had making her stutter. "Y-You… really think that, Aada?"

"Of course, I…" before Aada managed to finish, Lia reached over the table to hug her, which was awkward and slightly uncomfortable, but still felt nice. They both laughed and Aada ordered another glass of wine, feeling almost happy and carefree for the first time in weeks.

"Aada…" Lia's voice dropped almost to a whisper. "There's that guy at the bar… No, don't look, don't be so obvious!" she hissed when Aada tried turning her head to see who Lia had been talking about.

"He's been checking you out for like an hour, I swear!" the nurse chuckled and then winked at Aada. "You should ask him to buy you a drink."

Aada's brow furrowed.

"Lia, no." She shook her head. "It's too soon. I'm not interested."

"Pfffff… And why shouldn't you be interested?" Lia frowned angrily. "Because of that red haired idiot?"

Aada sighed quietly. Ever since she confided in Lia about how Hisoka had left, the nurse had been seething. When she had seen Aada and Hisoka in front of the hospital, she was ecstatic, but currently her dislike of the magician was almost as strong as Leorio's. Her unwavering loyalty made Aada feel good, but still she felt an irrational need to defend the magician.

"Come on, Aada…" Lia covered her hand with hers. "I admit, he was hot, but it's no reason to deny yourself some fun."

Lia's boyfriend sighed audibly and put his hand on the nurse's shoulder.

"Let Aada do what she thinks is right, Lia." He tried.

"No." Lia shook her head decidedly. "What she needs is to live a little."

Her gaze turned back to Aada.

"I know you quite well now… You'll just dive headfirst into work and pretend this is all you need. And nobody's asking you to marry the guy." She emphasized. "Just have some fun, it will help you move on. Come on, Aada… he's cute! And if he's boring, just wave and we'll come to your rescue."

Aada sighed yet again and tried looking towards the bar in what she hoped was an inconspicuous manner. Due to her short-sightedness, she couldn't see the man Lia mentioned very well. She took another sip of wine and eyed the glass distrustfully for a short while.

"Ah, to hell with this." She muttered, and turned her head to look at the man in question directly, her head titled slightly to one side. She did not turn away, and when after a while he raised his glass, she returned the gesture. Lia laughed quietly.

"Come Yann." She said, getting up and grabbing her boyfriend's hand. "I want to dance for a while."

He rolled his eyes, but followed her, leaving Aada alone at the table.

Clearly understanding the cue, the man at the bar got up and walked to her table. He stopped next to her, and Aada could see him quickly bite his lip, probably out of nervousness. Her nostrils moved almost imperceptibly as she analyzed the scent he wore, a surprising, but pleasant mixture of what seemed to be pine trees and licorice. He was wearing simple black jeans and a t-shirt that happened to feature the logo of one of her favourite bands. She gave him a little smile, deciding that maybe his company wouldn't be so terrible if he at least had good taste in music, but she wouldn't make this too easy for him and speak first.

"Can I…" he paused for a brief moment. "…keep you company tonight? Are you free?"

Almost immediately, his eyes widened.

"That sounded way better in my head." He admitted. "I'm sorry. Can I buy you another glass of wine to make up for it?"

Aada's smile grew wider.

"Sure." She agreed.

He nodded and walked back to the bar. He was back a few minutes later with a glass of the wine she liked. Although it was a lucky guess on his part, Aada decided to give him some points for that. This time, he sat down without asking and smiled at her, pushing the glass slowly in her direction. He had a nice smile, she thought.

"Thank you." She said, taking some time to watch him more closely as she slowly sipped the cool wine.

He looked young, probably a few years younger than her, but then again, she looked younger than Leorio, so looks could be deceiving. Her first thought was that he was as different from Hisoka as night is from day, and immediately repressed the thought. No more Hisoka. Not after last night. The man in front of her had a tall forehead and quite big, almond shaped grey eyes with an inquisitive look; the straight line of his nose, not too long, not too short, led to full lips over a narrow chin. He had delicate features that gave him a slightly boyish look, complimented by messy, dark hair framing his face. He was rather slim, and when he was still standing next to her table, she noticed he wasn't much taller than her.

"I have to apologize again." He said. "I bought you a drink and didn't even ask your name, and nor did I give you mine."

Aada shook her head and raised her glass to him in a toast.

"It's ok." She reassured him. "I'm Aada."

He raised his glass as well and smiled again.

"Nice to meet you, Aada." He said. "I'm Gert."

Aada's hand froze with her glass a few inches above the table.

"What's wrong?" asked her new acquaintance.

"It's… nothing." She replied. "It's just… it was my father's name."

"Was?" Gert's head titled to the right.

Aada nodded.

"Yeah. He died when I was sixteen."

Gert's eyes widened slightly.

"I'm not off to a good start, am I?" he asked sheepishly. "You can come up with a nickname for me, if you prefer."

Aada smiled at him, and decided to throw caution to the wind. He was trying, and she might as well have fun.

"Maybe I will, if you keep my attention long enough for me to think of one."

He smiled back at her and bowed his head.

"I shall endeavor that, my lady."

Aada snickered. This wasn't so bad after all. It actually felt nice to know he found her attractive enough to flirt back; Hisoka leaving like he did was not only a blow to her heart, but also to her self-esteem.

"What do you do for living, my knight?" she teased. "Something flashy and interesting, I hope… Hmmm… like maybe a shark wrangler."

Gert looked at her sheepishly again.

"If that's your definition of flashy and interesting," he replied, "then I guess it's just not my day."

"I restore old paintings and frescos." He explained. "Nothing flashy, just a bit of love for the old and worn out with a dash of patience to make it shine again."

Aada suddenly understood the nature of the scent she smelled on him when he was standing next to her – the strange combination of what she thought to be pine trees and licorice must have been turpentine, clinging to his skin and clothes due to countless hours of using it as a solvent for oil-based paints. She knew the smell well, all of a sudden reminded of the happy, carefree hours of her childhood spent watching her mother paint.

"Maybe it isn't very flashy, but certainly interesting." She said, all playfulness gone, doing her best to hide how nostalgic the moment of understanding made her feel.

"Are you from around here, Gert?" she asked to distract herself from going too deep into reminiscing about her past.

He shook his head.

"No." he replied. "I arrived barely a few days ago. A businessman who lives here has contracted me to restore an ancestral painting."

"I guess I am a vagrant, not a knight, my lady." He sighed. "I go where the next job takes me. But I'm glad it took me here tonight."

Aada smiled delicately. Vagrant or not, he was definitely charming, making her smile effortlessly despite his initial nervousness.

"And what do you do, my lady?" Gert's head tilted to one side, betraying his curiosity.

Aada shrugged.

"Nothing as artistic." She said. "I'm a surgeon."

Gert stayed silent for a moment, watching her closely.

"What specialty?" he asked.

"Trauma and orthopaedics." Came her immediate reply. She was used to the question, and the usual look of disbelief, especially when her interlocutor was male.

"Oh." Gert shook his head, but otherwise showed none of the signs she usually experienced. "Here I was hoping to impress you, even a bit. And you outshone me so easily. How cruel."

Aada snickered.

"I'm not going to apologize for who I am."

"Nor should you." He nodded. "So... what brings you here tonight? Not that I'm complaining."

"I…" Aada paused. She loved her job, but was hesitant to talk about it to someone she didn't know. "That's not important."

"On the contrary."

"I insist." He added when Aada looked at him doubtfully.

"Fine." She shrugged. "I've just published an article on a new hip replacement method I've developed. There; this is why I'm here."

Gert bit his lip, trying to suppress a smile.

"You say that so casually." He said, "As if it was nothing special. Why?"

"It's just usually not interesting to people who don't share my profession, that's all."

"Try me."

Aada looked at him intently, remembering the same words Hisoka had said when she came up with the method and felt strange. It seemed that even the smallest details kept reminding her of the magician, but it was probably unavoidable for a time.

"Remember you asked for it." She warned. "Once I start talking about something that interests me, it's almost impossible to stop me."

About an hour and several napkins full of rough sketches later she discovered that not only did Gert not seem bored, but on the contrary – he was asking her questions, and although he did not fully understand the details, he seemed interested enough. She didn't notice when Lia and Yann came back to the table. She quickly introduced them.

"I'd love to stay longer, but we should be going." Said Lia.

Aada looked at her watch and paled.

"I have to get up in 4 hours…" She looked at Gert apologetically. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"I understand." He said. He looked almost uncomfortable, and Lia smiled knowingly.

"We'll wait for you outside, Aada." She cut in immediately.

Gert watched them walk away and then looked back at Aada.

"So… I'm not really good at this." He admitted. "I really enjoyed tonight. Suppose I ask you for your number, because I'd like to see you again. Would you consider giving it to me?"

Aada didn't reply immediately. She wasn't ready to be involved with anyone; but then again, Gert said he was not from around here and he came only because of the restoration job. He'd probably leave soon after, she thought, so what harm could it do?

"Ok." she agreed eventually, and scribbled her number down on one of the sketched napkins.

She got up quickly, glad that she only had clinic hours the next morning, not any surgeries. She needed much more sleep. Gert immediately got up as well.

"It was a surprisingly nice evening." She said. "Goodnight, Gert."

"Goodnight, Aada." He replied. "I'll see you soon… I hope."

* * *

"He asked me out again." Aada's finger traced the chipped white cup in front of her before she drank from it and winced, the all too familiar hospital coffee – bean soup taste invading her taste buds.

Lia chuckled.

"It never gets old, watching you wince like that." She said. "And it's good he did. Did you accept?"

Aada frowned.

"Not yet."

"Why not? You went out several times already." Lia reminded her. "With the amount of time he spends with you, I wonder how he gets any work done. It's obvious he likes you. And you told me you had a nice time."

"I know." Sighed Aada. "It's just that this time he invited me for dinner."

"So?"

"To where he's staying."

"Aaaaah…" Lia smiled mischievously. "That's even better, right? You should really get…"

Aada raised her hand abruptly, interrupting her friend.

"If the next word that comes out of your mouth starts with an "L", this conversation is over."

"Why?" Lia pouted. "Two consenting adults - nothing wrong with that."

Aada shook her head. It wasn't a question of morals for her; she'd done her share of one night stands in her early Academy days, before she'd met Henn. Looking back she knew she kept searching for a moment of closeness to another person, even a short one. However, those encounters always left her feeling empty, the brief moment of pleasure not worth the lack of satisfaction she felt after. That's probably why she didn't use that kind of comfort after her fiancé died. It felt too artificial, and short lived.

"I'm just not ready." She said eventually.

"You really loved him, didn't you? The red haired idiot." asked Lia, her resentment for the magician still too strong to call him by his name.

"Present tense." Admitted Aada. "It doesn't go away in the span of few weeks just because I'd like it to."

"I'm sorry. I know." Lia patted her on the shoulder delicately. "But maybe just go and simply have good time? It doesn't have to go any further if you don't want it to. Plus, Gert really likes you. Give him a chance."

Aada's brow furrowed.

"You've mentioned it twice now." She said. "How can you be so sure?"

Lia blushed slightly.

"So, ehm… I kind of ran into him the other day after work, you know, when he was waiting for you outside the hospital." She confessed. "We spoke a bit and he asked me if it would be a good idea to invite you over to his place, and what you liked best."

"So it was your idea."

"No, no! The idea was his, but he wasn't sure if it wasn't too early, so… I convinced him it wasn't." added Lia. "Are you angry with me? Please don't be angry!"

Aada sighed.

"I'm not angry with you. You were only doing what you thought was good for me."

For a minute, neither spoke.

"It's only dinner, right?" Aada looked back at her friend, who was nodding vigorously and relented.

"Fine. I'll go."

* * *

"Wow, Aada, you look so pretty!" exclaimed Gon, drawing everybody's attention to her. Four pair of eyes were watching her with curiosity and she blushed slightly.

"Uh… thanks." She said.

"He's right." Said Leorio. He thought she looked beautiful in simple black jeans and elegant green kimono blouse. Matching ballerinas were making her look even more slender, and the delicate make up was complementing her eyes well.

"Are you going to some boring hospital event I don't know about?" he probed, and was surprised when she shook her head.

"I have a date." She said quietly.

"What?" Leorio jumped in his seat and immediately went in her direction, grabbing her hands. "Who is he? Why haven't you told us before? Where did you meet? How old is he? What does he do for living? And why haven't you told us?!"

"You're repeating yourself." Said Kurapika, joining the two and pulling Leorio back. "Let Aada be. I'm sure she would've told us all you'd like to know and soon, even without being interrogated."

Aada gave him a grateful look and smiled slightly.

"I met him at the club, Leorio." She said, looking back at her friend. "That night when I joined Lia and Yann. His name is Gert, and he restores paintings. I've met him a few times since then. As for why I haven't told you before… I just… I guess I wanted to wait and see if it was a thing, okay? Given my last… experience." She finished, her voice faltering slightly.

"Oh…" Suddenly, Leorio felt ashamed of his outburst. "Ehm… Have a good time then?"

He remembered something and opened his mouth to speak again, but Aada stopped him.

"I'll be home before midnight. And I'll make sure to introduce him soon. Don't worry, okay?"

Leorio nodded and Aada smiled at him, then grabbed her jacket and left. For a moment the room was silent, before the doctor's overprotective nature took over again.

"Who is this guy?" he asked nobody in particular, walking in circles in the middle of the room. "Should I follow her? What if he hurts her?"

"Calm down, Leorio." Kurapika tried to make him stop and put his hand on the doctor's shoulder. Leorio eventually stopped pacing and nodded. All of a sudden, Kurapika was overwhelmed by an uneasy thought, but didn't want to voice it not to irate Leorio again. No such luck.

"It's not Aada you should worry about." Gon chipped in. "When he's back, Hisoka is going to kill that guy."

Leorio froze immediately and Kurapika cursed inwardly. The doctor's face was slowly but surely gaining an angry red tint and he could almost see him fuming – precisely what he wanted to avoid.

"Gon's right." Killua chimed in. "What can he do? Splash Hisoka with paint?"

"No more Hisoka!" Leorio threw his hands in the air. "He's not coming back. Ever! Mention his name again and I'll kick you all the way to Yorkshin, understood?!" Not waiting for acknowledgement, Leorio spun around and stormed out of the room.

Kurapika fixed the two boys with an accusing look.

"I hope you two are proud of yourselves." He said, shaking his head.

Gon scratched the back of his head and looked at Kurapika sheepishly.

"I just wanted to help so Leorio wouldn't worry about Aada so much." He explained. "And I think I'm right."

"Yes, you've done exceedingly well." Sighed Kurapika. "As for your other statement, you can't be sure of that."

"And do not share your views on Hisoka with Aada, understood?" he added. "It's difficult for her as it is."

Gon nodded.

"I won't. I'm sorry, Kurapika."

"Let's just forget about it, okay?" he replied. "I'll go check on Leorio."

* * *

The long, white curtains danced slowly in the darkening air and Aada shivered slightly. She could hear music from the café downstairs – a slow, lazy melody of a live piano intertwining with the evening breeze. She was standing by the opened balcony door in the vast, spacious apartment with tall, vaulted ceilings that were no longer visible in the dark. It belonged to the businessman Gert currently worked for, and she was reassured he could use it while the family was away. The room was illuminated only by the fireplace and several candles contributing to the oneiric, surreal atmosphere. Aada drank the rest of the wine from her glass and placed it on the floor. A minute later, a particularly strong gust of wind extinguished most of the candles and Aada shivered again. When suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, she almost jumped.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Gert's voice calmed her down. Now that she thought of it, it sounded different from when she met him the first time. Back in the club, his voice sounded higher pitched, more cheerful; now it dropped an octave, smooth and cool almost as the evening breeze she could still feel on her skin.

"Come." Small, but surprisingly strong hands on her waist turned her around. Gert put Aada's hands on his shoulders and then wrapped her in an embrace.

"What are you doing?" Aada's brows furrowed in confusion before she understood. They were moving to the piano music, and she couldn't remember the last time she danced. "Oh… That is…"

"Crazy? Unusual?" he asked. "Or unwanted?"

"Unusual, at least for me." She replied. "I'm not sure I remember how to dance."

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, and when Aada shook her head, he smiled briefly. "Good. Just relax and enjoy it then." He pulled her closer and pushed her head slightly towards his shoulder.

Aada closed her eyes, liking the feeling of the warm leather beneath her cheek. Gert wasn't Hisoka, and he would never be. She didn't love him, but he smelled like home. She sighed, feeling disappointed with herself. Maybe if she'd met him before Hisoka, or long after he left, they'd have a chance. She felt guilty, as if she was leading him on; she knew she couldn't give him anything, not now, but still let him closer because the attention he was giving her made her feel better. Wanted. She spent most of her free time with him in the past week, and shouldn't regret it. He was good company, an intelligent partner in any conversation. They had a similar taste when it came to music and art. At times she thought he was perhaps a bit reserved, as though he wasn't ready to share everything about himself, but considered it perfectly normal. She shouldn't feel guilty. Hisoka didn't love her, he left, and he'd never be back. She deserved to move on, didn't she?

' _You are mine. Nobody will have you like this ever again. Only me.'_ The magician's words replayed in her head, contradicting her immediately.

"I realize now I never confirmed… Have you come up with a nickname for me?" Asked Gert, unconsciously helping her push the unwanted thoughts and guilt aside.

"Yes." Aada kept her eyes closed. Now that she thought of it, she did have a word that summed him up perfectly for her.

"Don't keep me waiting." Gert's voice seemed amused, and Aada briefly wondered where did his initial insecurity go. After that evening at the club, it didn't resurface again.

"You are smart and follow where your passion takes you." She said eventually. "It is… how to best put it? As though you follow people, but remain on the fringes. You seem a bit solitary to me at times. Sometimes I feel there's more to you than you let me see, but I don't mind. You are calm and collected. Pale and dark, almost as if you were a nocturnal animal."

"You're like a raven." She continued. "There's a language of the East that I find beautiful and melodic, though I don't speak it. However, I know a few words, and if I were to choose… Kuro. Black one. That's my nickname for you."

She couldn't see how for a brief moment, Gert's eyes widened in surprise, but she felt how his body tensed against her. It passed so quickly she thought she must have imagined it.

"You don't like it." She said, convinced that's what his silence meant. "That's ok. I don't have to use it."

"No." he stopped moving, pushed Aada back slightly and tilted her chin up so she'd look at him. "I like it, more than you know."

"Good." Aada smiled at him. "That's good… Kuro."

His eyes gleamed in the darkened room, the flames of the hearth mirrored in his gaze, hypnotizing, pulling her in. When he tilted his head down and kissed her, she didn't stop him. Kuro's tongue slipped inside her mouth and hesitantly she responded, desperately trying to forget, to snuff out the guilt she felt because of how she tried. His kiss was calm, unhurried and methodic just as he was, pleasurable, but for some reason it seemed almost clinical, devoid of passion. So different from the way Hisoka kissed her, as though he wanted to consume her, never let her breathe.

All of a sudden, she pushed Gert back and stepped away from him, pressing her back against the wall.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head, panting. "I can't do this. I can't."

She grabbed her jacket and put it on hastily, panicked. She wanted to forget, but not like this.

"Wait…" he tried, but she didn't listen.

"I'm sorry, Kuro. I… I have to go now."

After she left, Gert stood in his place for a while, a pensive look on his face. Eventually he sighed and walked towards the stairs leading to the wine cellar. Something caught his eye when he was passing the big mirror in the hallway, and he stopped. His brow furrowed but then he smiled.

"Near miss." He whispered, touching the side of his forehead and then sweeping his palm all over it, amused by his small mistake. "I should be more careful."

Now satisfied, he went down the stairs and turned the lights on. He walked along the wine racks in an unhurried pace and eventually chose a bottle of red wine from Kakin. It must have been expensive, he thought briefly as he opened it and poured himself a glass.

"Mmmmm." He hummed, sipping the wine and enjoying the rich, deep taste. "You certainly have a good taste when it comes to wine. And Aada… That was rather interesting. Worth a try. Come to think of it, I quite enjoyed it. How unexpected."

He put the bottle on the floor and reached towards the wine rack, retrieving a knife. The unusually shaped blade, forged into three segments, shone in the dark as he turned it to catch more moonlight. "So full of surprises, this one… so bright and sharp. She has read me quite well, don't you think?"

He turned around, as if expecting an answer.

"Oh well." He sighed. "It has been fun, but it looks like I'm running out of time, in more ways than one."

He took the bottle and turned the lights off, then slowly climbed the stairs back to the main floor. Lifeless eyes in the corner on the wine cellar gleamed in the moonlight over a bloodstained, white shirt, their own light extinguished days before.


	23. You Don't Care

**You Don't Care**

Maybe taking additional night shift wasn't the best idea, but Aada had trouble sleeping anyway, replaying her evening with Gert and the guilt she still felt. She had been avoiding Gert's calls and texts for two days now, and jumped at the opportunity to cover for a fellow surgeon who got sick. She quickly glanced at her phone and shrugged; it wasn't the time for reminiscing. She drank the rest of her coffee and winced as usual, amused by her inability to suppress the gesture. She got up, briefly looking around the now deserted hospital cafeteria and pulling at the hem of her white coat, she stretched and left to start her rounds.

"Doctor Holme!" A voice stopped her when she was passing the hospital registration desk.

She walked towards the desk, trying to smile politely despite her tiredness.

"Hi, Senna." She greeted the woman who called her. "It's so empty tonight I started thinking I was the only staff member in the building."

"I know what you mean." The elderly woman smiled back at her and then handed Aada a plain white envelope. "Somebody left this for you earlier today."

Aada took the envelope from her hand and frowned. It felt heavier than a regular letter.

"Who left it?" she asked.

"I don't know." Senna shrugged. "It was before my shift started."

"Oh, that's fine." Said Aada. "Thank you. Have a good rest of the shift."

"You too, doctor." Replied the woman, before going back to the paperwork piling on her desk.

Aada walked up the stairs to the surgical ward and stopped before entering the room of the patient she wanted to check up on. She opened the envelope and her eyes widened in surprise when an object fell on her palm. It looked like a heavy earring, a jade orb connected to thick, coiled silver wires. There was also a piece of paper in the envelope; curious, Aada took it out and started reading the message.

 _I wish you hadn't left the other night. We should talk; I thought I'd give you something of mine, so you don't forget me until we do._

 _G._

 _PS. Have a good shift._

Aada crumpled the piece of paper and sighed. A small part of her was hoping that ignoring Gert's attempts at contacting her would be enough, but it looked like she wouldn't be able to put this behind her without talking to him. She eyed the earring again, slightly surprised. The neat, elegant handwriting revealed it belonged to Gert, but she couldn't remember ever seeing him wear it. It was probably because the heavy green monstrosity didn't suit him well, she thought with a quiet chuckle, before wondering why he'd send her something he never wore. She shrugged and quickly decided she didn't have time to think about it and, pushing aside her thoughts about future confrontation with the man, shoved Gert's earring in her pocket. Almost immediately, she felt a burst of energy, a tingling, uneasy feeling. She reached into her pocket, past the green earring, and retrieved a single playing card, the queen of hearts. The card was buzzing in her grasp with the energy she couldn't see, her fingertips gradually going numb. Aada's brow furrowed as she tiredly tried to understand; the card, the memento she could not bring herself to throw away, never displayed such qualities. She wondered if it was possible it still had traces of Hisoka's nen on it. She surmised it was likely, but couldn't understand why it happened now. After a while, the tingling sensation subsided and with a sigh, Aada put the card back in her pocket, suppressing a worried thought that the card's sudden awakening might mean something was wrong with the one who'd given it to her. She was too tired to think, and she had to pull it together to finish her rounds and prepare for another surgery. She looked around the empty hospital hall, slowly relaxing under the dim, yellowish lights typical for the nighttime at the building and slowly got up, stretching.

* * *

Hisoka stood in a forest, breathing in the scent of dry bark warmed up by sunshine filtering through the leaves. He could hear the melody of the flute from afar; recalling he'd heard it before, he closed his eyes, embracing the deep, soothing calm it brought. All of a sudden, he felt a pulse of energy and his surroundings blurred, morphing into a very different landscape. The sky was hanging heavily over the city in a steely mass of low-running clouds and Hisoka could hear his footsteps echoing through the maze of deserted streets. He couldn't understand neither why the streets were empty nor why the air seemed so dark during what seemed only mid-morning. He could feel rubble underneath his feet and when he looked around carefully, he noticed that most of the buildings around him were in various degree of ruin; despite that, he finally recognized where he was, though he didn't remember how he got there. His feet carried him to the place he knew best as he still struggled to understand why the city he'd been to not long ago had changed so much.

The hospital gate was just as worn out as the rest of the city, its steel ornaments falling apart, playing a broken melody of rust and decay as the wind rushed through the tired bars. Suddenly, Hisoka looked up, alerted by a new sound that seemed out of place. Small, beady eyes looked back at him as a big raven sitting on the arch of the gate kept cawing, the sound strangely extended in the dark air, almost palpable.

Hisoka frowned, trying to ignore an uneasy feeling that he was missing something, and walked towards the main building. As he neared it, he saw that whatever happened to the whole city did not spare the hospital; multiple windows stared back at him with their blind, glassless gaze and brick uncovered by the falling concrete façade looked eerily like muscles peeking from beneath torn skin. As he entered, he walked up the stairs to the first floor and almost immediately he was met with a delicate remainder of the scent he had known so well, resin, pine needles and incense flowing delicately above the broken tiles and bent metal littering the halls. He felt a rush of air and a brief touch on his cheek as the raven flew past him, into one of the rooms far to the left.

Hisoka followed the bird and stopped in the doorway as he reached the room it flew in. There was a woman in a tattered white coat standing in front of a big window extending from the floor almost to the ceiling, its glass mostly intact unlike the other windows in the building, though he could see a faint spider web of cracks on the surface. The woman's back was turned to him, dark hair flowing past her shoulders, the raven perched on her shoulder. Hisoka knew who she was even before she turned around to face him, the resinous scent pooling around her in dry waves. Her eyes shone a brighter green than he remembered, as though their color was the only source of light in the room. She looked tired and pale, and after a while he noticed deep, dark shadows beneath her eyes.

"Why have you come?" she asked, her voice barely above whisper. "Why now?"

He didn't know what to say, instead, he took a step in her direction, but she immediately took a step back. The raven on her shoulder titled its head curiously and made a deep, rasping sound, as if it wanted him to stay away. Hearing the bird's call, Hisoka felt overcome by a feeling of uneasiness and alarm.

"Little pine…" he said, lifting his hand and holding it towards her, palm up. "Get away from the window."

She did not listen, and took another hesitant step back.

"Please…" he tried again. "I won't hurt you." As soon as he said the words, he realized he spoke truthfully. He knew he had hurt her before, but he no longer wanted to. He wouldn't, not again.

She shook her head in an almost imperceptible gesture.

"You're too late, Hi-so-ka." She said tiredly. "Everything… is over."

"No." He felt anger building up. "It's not, until I say it is."

She smiled sadly at him.

"You already did, remember?"

The raven on her shoulder spread its wings and cried in short, repeated shrills. Before Hisoka could react, a flock of birds burst through the window in fountain of shattered glass, the flurry of black feathers hiding Aada from his view. Barely seconds later, they were gone, and so was she. He ran towards the window and froze for a moment that seemed painfully stretched. She lay on the ground like a discarded puppet, her limbs bent at unnatural angles, the ever-growing pool of red almost invisible when flowing from beneath her dark hair, but vividly contrasting with the crumbled grey of the pavement. He activated his nen and jumped down, landing next to the broken body. The habitual excitement brought about by the sight of blood was replaced by an emotion that rarely emerged in the tumult of the magician's thoughts: fear.

"No." he whispered, but as glazed, green eyes watched through him, his voice rose higher and higher until it reached a high, howling pitch.

Hisoka shot up, his throat hoarse, and it took him a minute to realize he was in his bed. His nen was flaring angrily, just like in countless moments in the past when it warned him of danger, and the uneasy feeling from the dream did not subside.

A nightmare, he thought, surprised. He couldn't remember ever having one; he probably did experience them at some point, but had long since forgotten. He raised his hand and placed it over his heart; it was beating much faster than he was used to. He wasn't fond of the slow building certainty the dream left him with.

"It was just a dream." He reassured himself. "Nothing but a dream."

Despite self-assurances, he couldn't calm down. He got up and paced around the room, unable to fully rid himself of the lingering fear. Ever since he started having the unwanted dreams, his skin was crawling with an unfamiliar feeling. The strange woman he'd met a few nights before made him think about it even more, until now he grudgingly accepted that he missed Aada's presence. He missed the rush of carnal pleasure she gave him, but that was not all. He missed having wine with her, talking to her about everything and anything, and he missed the way she'd smile at him, that smile that lit her up from the inside. He didn't want her to smile like that at anybody else, but at the same time didn't know how to fit her into the life he led. He couldn't help wanting to be rid of this feeling; the feeling that dangerously resembled belonging, going against his nomadic nature. The closest he had to belonging was naming his power after a favourite childhood treat, and until a few months back he was fine with that. The mouse woman told him he'd have to either forget or find a way to accept the new need among the others that drove him. He remembered his own response vividly: I don't need to find anything; and her immediate retort: But you want to.

Did he? He shook his head in confusion and dispersed his nen.

Did he want to find a way? He paused and then cursed quietly, before reaching for his phone. He quickly dialed a number, not registering that he knew it by heart. After several signals, he went to voicemail, and froze, unsure what he wanted, or what to say. He disconnected, wondering if he'd made a mistake, and whether he anticipated or feared she could call him back.

* * *

After finishing her rounds, Aada felt so tired that the perspective of another cup of the dreadful hospital coffee became dangerously tempting. She shook her head and reached into her locker to retrieve a bottle of water. She drank slowly, letting the cool liquid wash away the thickest layer of her weariness. She quickly changed in her scrubs, closed the locker and took a deep breath. She was less tired, and could feel the excitement budding, a feeling she had grown to know well and welcome it before entering the O.R. With a renewed vigor and spring in her step, she left the locker room, her mind already too concentrated on the procedure awaiting her to hear the shrill of the phone that she had left in her locker.

Aada sighed tiredly when she left the hospital, adjusting the bag on her arm. After a voluntary thirty six hour shift, she felt beyond tired and was looking forward to relaxing in her bed with a good book. It was slowly getting dark and she could feel a slight chill in the air. Summer was definitely over. All of a sudden, she groaned, remembering her last encounter with Gert and felt ashamed of herself again. Letting him that close was a mistake.

"Is that night such a bad memory?"

Aada stopped abruptly at the sight of Gert sitting on a low stone wall near the hospital entrance, unsure what to say. He got up and calmly walked up to her.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

Aada bit her lip, trying to find proper words. She enjoyed his company, but she knew it was too early for her, and that what happened that night should not repeat. It would probably be for the best if they never met again.

"Walk with me." Gert extended his hand and tried to take the bag off her shoulder, but without thinking, Aada's hand grabbed the strap as well.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea." She admitted.

"I think we should talk like adults." Gert's voice betrayed a hint of anger. "Especially after you ran away without a word and then didn't return any of my calls. I do not appreciate being treated like that."

Aada's eyes were downcast, a slight blush dusting her cheeks; eventually, she let go of the strap and let him take the bag. He was right. She was acting immature and he deserved an explanation.

"You're right." She said quietly and looked at him apologetically.

He nodded.

"Good." His voice was calmer now. "I recently discovered a small park nearby. At this time of day we should find enough privacy there."

Aada followed him in silence until they reached the park and Gert sat down on one of the benches, setting her bag on the ground, and patted the seat next to him. She hesitated for a moment, but then joined him.

Aada didn't know what to say and to break the awkward silence, she reached into her pocket, her fingers closing around the earring he'd sent her.

"I believe this is yours." She said, handing it to him, hoping he'd understand what the gesture meant and spare her the difficult conversation that could follow.

"Oh." He took the earring from her hand and she knew he must have understood, but still he sighed and started speaking.

"You deserve an apology." He said. "I didn't mean to push you into doing something you didn't want."

"It's not your fault." Replied Aada not sure what else to say. "It's… me."

Gert shook his head helplessly.

"That's probably the worst thing you can say to someone interested in you."

"Can I at least know what made you react the way you did?" he asked.

Aada bit her lip.

"I was… I'm still not over somebody else." She explained. "It wasn't fair of me to start something with you when I can't be more committed."

"Oh, but you've started it anyway, haven't you?" He asked bitterly. "And you didn't waste time to think how it would affect me."

Aada got up and faced him, feeling she had to own up to her mistake.

"I am sorry. Truth is, I enjoyed spending time with you, but it wouldn't be right to use you to forget about… somm-somebody else." She tried to keep her voice calm, but didn't fully succeed in suppressing a slight stutter when her thoughts immediately latched onto the memory of Hisoka.

Gert watched her silently for a moment.

"Watching you, I think it would be correct to assume he was the one who left?" He said eventually. "If he did, then he never deserved you; don't you think?"

Aada met his gaze, no longer unsure.

"If you say so." She replied. "But I have to get over it. On my own."

"Are you strong enough to do it on your own?"

"I'll find out soon enough, won't I?" Aada's brow furrowed, she found the question strange. "All I need is time."

Gert rose from the bench, standing a bit too close for comfort. There was something dark in his eyes, something she hasn't seen there before and unconsciously, she took a step back.

"Unfortunately, time is a luxury neither of us can afford at the moment." He said, a small, sardonic smile curving the corner of his mouth. "Your friends would find out soon enough, and they wouldn't take kindly to my continued presence."

Her friends? She didn't understand, did he know them? There was something different about Gert; the warm, kind aura he usually exuded replaced by cold, magnetic arrogance. He looked like a different person now, and after witnessing the sudden, unexpected transformation, Aada's instincts were screaming at her to run. Her legs felt like made of led, but she finally managed to turn around and ran as fast as she could. Or at least, she thought she did. She barely moved, and he was on her in a split second, his arm snaking around her neck, pressing her body into his chest as his other hand wrapped around her waist. She tried freeing herself but couldn't, surprised by the strength of the hands that held her.

"Leaving so soon?" Gert's voice had a distinctive mocking note to it. "But I enjoy your company. I see now why he stayed so long. I can almost understand the appeal."

"L-let me... go…" Croaked Aada, still not understanding his meaning, not able to grasp how a person she started trusting turned into an attacker, unable to scream with his arm pressed against her neck. His hold intensified and she could see black spots creeping into her field of vision.

"Not anytime soon, I'm afraid." He replied calmly. "Not while I have use for you."

Aada gasped for breath, her muddled thoughts getting more and more detached, wondering if that was the end for her, silently reaching out to the one she so longed to see, but now knew she likely wouldn't, ever again.

Chrollo didn't let go until her body went limp in his hold, and then placed her on the bench. It surprised him how careful his movements were, aimed at minimizing her discomfort; he indeed must have grown a bit fond of her, despite his usual detachment. He reached inside his jacket and retrieved a book. He went through the pages quickly and then paused. Nen hummed around him, and soon after a big, brownish cloth appeared in his hand. He placed it over Aada's prone form; a second later, she was nowhere to be seen and he smiled.

"Always one of my favorites." He whispered. "So practical."

The cloth disappeared, and he calmly walked out of the park. When he felt the first drops of rain, he waited before using the moisture to slick his hair back, using the simple gesture to erase the remainders of the role he'd played for the past days.

* * *

Hisoka was sitting on a sidewalk, feeling restless. The night was falling over the city, softening the sharp edges of the buildings with countless shadows, but doing nothing to dull his own edges. Ever since the nightmare, he couldn't seem to calm down. He groaned. He needed a distraction; something strong and exciting enough to shake him out of this unwelcome mood that had settled over him heavily over the past weeks. He thought of his life before and remembered how much he liked its simplicity, consciously choosing to ignore the other feeling trying to claw its way out of his subconscious. He didn't need this, this confusion that was not diminishing no matter how much distance he put between himself and Aada. He was angry at her, because she got closer to him than anyone else, and he let her. He shouldn't have. She never called him back; she probably didn't care anymore and he wondered why it irked him. He wouldn't care, and wouldn't try calling her again.

His phone chimed, interrupting his train of thought. A text. It wasn't from her, thought the magician, surprised by the disappointment he felt, but then he opened the message and as he recognized the number, he grinned happily. The number used to send the text was usually unavailable and as such, could not be of help in tracing its owner. He briefly wondered what might have caused this contact – it was unusual; but the familiar rush of excitement drowned out any rational thought; it was high time he resumed his chase for the prized prey he couldn't wait to fight. The timing was not perfect; he needed to sort out his inner turmoil, but he still wouldn't refuse such an opportunity.

 _I have set my sights on something quite interesting recently._ The text was rather enigmatic, but it wouldn't deter him.

 _What might that be?_ He texted back immediately. It was a good sign. An ultimate test of his abilities may come sooner than expected.

 _You have good taste, Hisoka._

The magician's brow furrowed in confusion, he wasn't sure what Chrollo meant. His phone chimed again.

 _I have to admit she is quite fetching, even more so up close._

Hisoka's body tensed, as he was overcome with a feeling of foreboding. A silent tone announced another message, and suddenly he knew he didn't want to see its contents. Hesitantly, he tapped the screen and his eyes widened.

Mere minutes ago, he was angry with her. Anger was easy, when subconsciously he knew she was far away and safe. There were several images on the screen; him and Aada on the porch, stargazing, them on the bridge, in front of the hospital, even him standing alone in front of the headstone, but it was the last photo that stunned him. When it was taken, Aada was exiting the hospital's revolving doors, dressed in her worn out blue jeans and a tank top with the logo of her favourite band; she was readjusting her glasses in a familiar gesture, a big bag slung over her shoulder. The photo included a date – it was taken the very same day. Hisoka stared at the screen, unsure what he was feeling. He forced back the feeling of worry, letting his rage out. He rationalized that she only caused him trouble. He didn't need her. He wanted to forget her, didn't he? His fingers moved quickly and without thinking.

 _Am I supposed to care? She was just a toy, I can find another whenever I want._

As soon as he sent the message, he felt nauseated, understanding that this time he wouldn't fool anyone, not himself, and certainly not Chrollo. It was barely a minute before the screen lit up again.

 _Then you won't mind if I discover how much the lovely doctor Holme and I have in common? Or should I just kill her?_

His immediate reaction was being furious at what Chrollo was implying in his first sentence, until his eyes were drawn to only two words. Kill her. The letters seemed to pulse in front of Hisoka's eyes as he recalled the nightmare he'd had barely a night before and the feeling of fear and loss it gave him, and tried to repress the gnawing certainty that no matter what happened, even if he followed the safe path of ignoring the fact he missed her and never saw her again, he didn't want a world that didn't contain the little pine.

The last text message was accompanied by an audio file. Hisoka hesitated; a small, defiant part of him still bent on fighting against what he was feeling wanted to delete the contents without listening, throw the phone away and never care again, instinctively knowing something was about to change. He cursed quietly and clicked on the file. As he listened, his hand tightened on the phone. He could hear his heart thumping wildly, unsure what was happening to him. For a moment, his mind went blank as he stared into space, releasing a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding.

The phone chimed again.

 _I never thought you'd be so easy to read, Hisoka. Run, if you want. You won't make it in time._

His body reacted before his mind did. He ran, disregarding the fact that he was doing exactly what Chrollo had wanted him to do. He stopped abruptly, in one last, desperate attempt trying to rationalize his feelings, telling himself that he shouldn't care, that he should leave her to her fate, because she was nothing to him. His mind was spinning, erratic thoughts whirling in a maddening, kaleidoscopic dance of words and images. A cool touch on his arm. _Take my hand, OK? …I can fix this._ Laughter. Teasing. _My evenings don't revolve solely around you, Hi-so-ka…_ Arms wrapped around him in a surprisingly strong embrace. _Please don't die, Hisoka… I can't bear to see you hurt._ A delicate hand cupping his cheek, chapped, full mouth on his own. _You are beautiful._ Skin covered in a glistening film of sweat, a warm pressure of a body snuggled into his side. _Love you… Hisoka…_ Fingers stroking his hair, soothing. Blank, tear stained face. _I may be yours, but you don't own me... Go. Don't come back._

He brought up the audio file Chrollo had sent him, and replayed it.

" _Hello?"_ Even if he had somehow managed to force himself to forget, the sound of her voice would make him remember.

" _Who is this?"_ Aada's voice was groggy from sleep, as if the call woke her up in the middle of the night.

" _Is that you…? Is that you, Hi-so-ka?"_ Despite his earlier doubts, hearing her say his name immediately made him want to respond, even though she wouldn't hear him.

" _I'm… I'm still angry with you. But either way... I miss you. Just… come back, Hi-so-ka. Come back home, ok?"_ Her voice was shaking a bit, but he could hear the hurt and hope hidden underneath. Home, he thought. What a strange word. Home. For him, it had always meant a set of walls covered by a roof, something he never required, but now he couldn't suppress the thought that there was another meaning to it, one that he previously refused to acknowledge.

" _Oh, right, I almost forgot. You don't care. If you don't want to come back, leave me alone, please. Let me move on."_ He didn't expect that the sudden bitterness in her voice could do it, but it undoubtedly did. It hurt him. Aada's breath hitched, as though she was trying to calm herself, before the somber and decisive tone of her last recorded words cut through.

" _Farewell, Hi-so-ka. This is the last time we speak. "_

He had to admit Chrollo set the scene masterfully. Being his mercurial self, Hisoka didn't treat the Spiders too seriously when they had threatened him. His interests moved fast from one object to another, and it seemed unfathomable to him anyone could be so intent on holding a grudge. He remembered now, those few instances back with Aada when he thought he'd sensed someone's presence and brushed it off as nothing important, when the truth was much different – the Spiders had been there all the time, waiting for the right moment, and that moment came when he left. The magician's fingers moved on their own, hitting replay again, and again, until Aada's words carved themselves into his subconscious to the point when he didn't need the file to hear them. These words were meant for him only, and being the masterful thief, Chrollo had stolen them. They swirled inside his head in loops and repetitions, cutting with ease through all barriers of lies and subterfuge he created, leaving him bare and defenseless.

 _I miss you. Come back home, Hi-so-ka. Oh, right, I almost forgot._

 _You don't care._

 _You don't care._

 _You don't care._

 _I miss you. Come back. Come home. Home. Home… Farewell, Hi-so-ka._

 _This is the last time we speak._

 _The last time._

 _Don't say that._ His own thoughts joined the choir, defying the concepts that mere days ago he was so adamant to uphold, recalling the mute fear he felt in his dream when she said it was too late. _Don't say I don't care._

And it wasn't the last time. He refused to accept that he might never see her again, the little pine and her smile he so liked. She was his; his to play with and tease, his to protect, his to… Hisoka's eyes widened as he struggled with the revelation that the feeling he had been trying to ignore for weeks finally gained a name, one he never cared to know and one he never needed, at first furious with Aada for causing it, then furious that the truth was forced upon him before he could discover it on his own, now fully understanding the dread he felt in his nightmare and the need for Aada's presence that suddenly seemed imperative. He observed with an almost detached, clinical fascination as a feeling that until recently he considered an empty definition gained life and meaning and dug its claws into him in a fierce display of what was no longer theoretical. His nails dug into the brick wall in the dark alley as he tried to subdue the unfamiliar, sharp pain in his chest, a nauseating fear of a very probable loss of something he never wanted, but now longed for. If that's what it was, if that's how it always felt, he had been right never to seek it.

 _I should've called earlier_ , he thought frantically, _I should've, and then she'd have said these words to me, as she meant to._

But would it have changed anything? He doubted it; he was too stubborn and set in his ways. He had known. Deep down, he had known what it was he was feeling, ever since the dreams started. His blind refusal to acknowledge it has led to the situation they were now both in. He knew beyond doubt Chrollo would hurt Aada in some way. Someone that was his. Someone he should have protected, but instead chose to leave behind. The pain refused to subside, if anything, it intensified, coiling around his insides, rubbing its scales in until he was finding it hard to breathe.

"I don't want this." Hisoka said quietly, discovering feeling helpless for the first time, until the more logical part of his nature kicked in.

 _You can lie to yourself, but not to me. I can hear it when you do._ He could almost hear the mouse woman's voice in his head as he tentatively placed his palm over his heart, wondering how what he felt sounded to her and knew it had been there for a while, meshed with the steady beat he could feel beneath his fingertips, waiting to be heard, the truth that was terrifying, but exciting at the same time as all the pieces that he had been purposely trying to scatter for weeks came together.

He wasn't one to wallow in misery, he was a creature of action and wouldn't waste any more energy fighting something that has become a solid fact. He couldn't deny what he wanted any longer. Just like the mouse woman had said, as soon as he stopped lying to himself, everything became clearer. It had become startlingly clear in fact, the reason why he stayed in one place for so long, the reason for the irrational need to protect, the need to go, but merged with one to come back, equally strong. He still wanted the thrill of fighting the strongest, he wanted to continue putting his life on the line for the adrenaline rush, to hover between life and death, to keep perfecting his skills, but after that was done he wanted to go back to her, every time, his own prize for beating the odds. It would only add to the thrill, knowing that if his skills were not good enough, he'd never see her again. He wanted her too, everything that she was giving him, he wanted to make sure she saw no one but him, he wanted to see her soar to even greater heights and shine blindingly bright, not to crush or use her, but to have her all to himself, that flame that didn't need the mastery of nen to pull him in and keep him, to bask in her attention and envy of those who'd want her, but could never have her. There was no other like her; he remembered worrying she'd burden him or hold him back but how could she? She had a passion of her own and she understood. She was so much like him. His little pine. She was the only one that made sense, the only one that could fit into the life he led and not make it more dull, but improve it, the thought leaving him surprised at his own inability to comprehend earlier what now seemed so obvious.

When he truly let it in, the feeling washed over him in a rush of excitement; his aura pooled around him as he discovered a bond he now was willing to submit himself to, and once forged and accepted, it became unbreakable, intertwined with ho he was and what he wanted. He knew he would keep exploring it for as long as it took, aware how impossible it seemed that he had even formed an attachment like this, fully conscious that he would never be able to share it again with anyone but the one he chose.

It seemed so simple and clear now, but Hisoka's ecstasy waned quickly, clashing with the reality he had to face. Now that he'd accepted it, the bond he shared with Aada became a part of him. If he lost it, a piece of him would always be missing. It felt beautiful, but ultimately frightening at the same time, knowing that he was willingly letting a substantial part of his life depend on one whose mind and spirit was possibly stronger than his, but whose body was frail and defenseless, fully realizing how little stood between him and losing what he'd only discovered.

His throat tightened as he recalled the words the Spiders uttered many months before to Kurapika and him, after the defeat of the former number four, Omokage, the doll maker*.

 _We'll let you taste suffering worse than hell, when the time comes. Remember this._

And his own cocky, careless response: _What an honour._

At that time, he did not believe they could really hurt him. It was all a game to him, after all. He didn't have anything they could hold over him. But they promised to settle the score, and waited patiently until he did, so they could use it, and knew before him when he didn't understand, and then didn't want to admit that he did, their words from the past now sounding almost like a prophecy. They counted on hurting him, but probably didn't realize how much they succeeded. If his arrogance and blindness resulted in loss of Aada's life, Hisoka didn't think his strength and mastery of nen could save him from breaking. She had survived losing someone important in the past, emerged stronger and possibly could do it again, but he knew better; it was likely he had kept himself detached all his life precisely for this reason – once he let another in, one so addictive, one that was his equal, the feeling carved itself too deep.

… _should I just kill her?_

He could almost hear Chrollo's mocking voice uttering the words, felt a wave of rage and let it fuel him, overcome him as his body tensed up, lapping at the familiar sensation. He wouldn't lose. He wouldn't break. His aura burst around him like wildfire, hungering for blood of the one he would tear to shreds and make him suffer before he did, making him pay for both their mistakes. First him, then all the rest; Hisoka understood that once he set out on this path, there would be no turning back, it would be him against all of the Spiders, bound by threads of unwavering loyalty to the vision Chrollo had created and made them part of. His fingers moved quickly and with no hesitation as he finally knew what to send in response to the man he'd wanted to fight for so long. He clicked send, certain he would not run any longer. The words shone on the bright screen before fading into the dark.

 _I'll tear your heart out. I'll destroy everything you've built._

* * *

 **A/N:** _*This story is not covered by the anime series, instead you'll find it in the "Hunter x Hunter: Phantom Rouge" movie. The Spiders' comment refers to Hisoka's past betrayal and the fact that in the Phantom Rouge he aided Gon & co. once again. _


	24. Curiosity and Other Demons

**A/N:** _Please bear in mind this chapter contains a tiny spoiler from the manga regarding Chrollo's powers._

* * *

 **Curiosity and Other Demons**

Leorio was frantic, and try as he may, Kurapika couldn't calm him down. Aada's been gone for over two days now. When she was late coming back home from the hospital that first night, Leorio wasn't worried at first; a life of a trauma surgeon had plenty surprises leading to unscheduled surgeries. But when he repeatedly tried her cellphone and kept going to voicemail, his demeanor changed. He immediately called the hospital, and all he learned was that she completed all the minor procedures and checkups on her roster that day, and went home later the same afternoon.

All four of them started looking for her immediately, not waiting for the dawn – searching for clues, for where she may have gone. Come morning, they started asking around, in cafés, small shops, at bus stations. Some people seemed to remember seeing Aada, but couldn't give them any useful information as to her whereabouts. She left the hospital, and somewhere on her way home, she disappeared. With little hope, they checked the Hunters' network, but to no avail. They put up posters, handed out flyers. Nothing.

Now, two days later, Leorio was sitting on a couch in the living room, his head in his hands. He'd learned that day that Aada was last seen with a dark haired man, waiting for her outside the hospital and left in the direction of the nearby park. He had immediately ran to the park, cursing the delay in obtaining this piece of information – the receptionist they got it from went on sick leave the day after she had seen Aada. The only thing he was able to find in the park was Aada's bag, now dropped next to the couch he was sitting on. When he'd come back home, Leorio called Lia, who's only come back from a few days away with her boyfriend, and his fears were confirmed – the man Aada left the hospital with fit the description of the one she went on a date with few days prior. Lia was as terrified as he was, and wracked with guilt, for she had been the one to talk Aada into going out with the man.

The room was silent, but for the monotonous sound of the heavy rain hitting the window sills and the tin roof. Kurapika sat down next to Leorio, and put his hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. Leorio looked up. His eyes were bloodshot; he didn't get much sleep, again.

"Kurapika…" he said in a small voice. "What am I supposed to do? She needs me. I know she's out there somewhere, and she needs me. Kurapika…"

"That man…" He continued, unable to shake the guilt he felt. "I should have asked her more questions. I know you told me not to be overprotective, but if I had been… she might have been angry with me, but safe. It's my fault."

Kurapika got up and stood between Leorio's knees. He embraced him slowly, and Leorio rested his head against Kurapika's chest. Kurapika held him close, running his fingers through Leorio's hair in long, soothing motions.

"It's not your fault. Who could have known? We'll find her, Leorio." He reassured him. "I don't know how yet, but we'll find her."

Suddenly, they heard heavy footsteps on the porch, and both of them tensed. Leorio got up abruptly, and ran to the door. He knew it couldn't be Aada, as the steps indicated someone much heavier than her, but he couldn't help it. He opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Hisoka…" he gasped.

The magician stood at the threshold, silent, drenched, his make-up dissolving in heavy raindrops. Kurapika joined Leorio and soon he could hear light footsteps indicating Gon and Killua's arrival.

"Come in." said Kurapika, moving his friend to the side.

Hisoka nodded and entered. He stopped in the middle of the room, still uncharacteristically silent, water dripping from his tall figure, and Kurapika started to worry. Something was very wrong.

"Hisoka." He probed cautiously, "What are you doing here?"

"Aada… she's not here." He added, unsure of what the magician's reaction would be.

Hisoka looked him in the eye and Kurapika took a step back, surprised with what he saw. There was a haunted look on the magician's face, one that looked out of place.

"I know." He replied. "He took her."

"What are you saying?" Kurapika didn't understand.

"Aada… he took her." Hisoka's voice sounded hollow.

Leorio ran towards the magician, and came to a halt a few steps in front of him.

"Who?" he asked impatiently. "Who took her?"

Hisoka looked at Leorio, the strange, haunted look not leaving his face, and Kurapika's eyes widened in understanding before he could hear Hisoka's answer.

"Chrollo."

All colour drained from Leorio's face as he just stood there, watching the magician, as if he didn't want to believe what he's just been told. Kurapika slowly approached them.

"How do you know?" he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Hisoka reached into his pocket and took out his phone, bringing up the messages he'd received before handing it to Kurapika. Before he could do that, Leorio snatched it out of his hand and quickly went through the texts. The doctor's hand balled into a fist as he raised his head and looked at Hisoka again, handing the phone to Kurapika. Before Kurapika could react, Leorio's aura flared furiously and he hit Hisoka full force. The magician stumbled backwards, and then stood still.

"You!" yelled Leorio. "I never should have let you into our home, you sick fuck!"

He jumped towards Hisoka, and hit him again, and again. To Kurapika's shock, the magician made no move to defend himself, not even to concentrate his aura to prevent damage. Leorio clenched his fist, Hisoka's blood slowly dripping from his knuckles to the wooden floor.

"It's your fault." He said quietly. "It's all your fault."

"You are right." Replied Hisoka, his eyes downcast. "But I'll find her."

Hisoka's words only enraged Leorio further. He moved to strike the magician again, but Kurapika wrapped his arms around him firmly, holding him back.

"What do you care?!" shouted Leorio, trying to break free from Kurapika's hold. "You care nothing about her! You disgusting, worthless piece of shit… Aada loved you. She loved you, and you broke her! Now you want to help her?! Go fuck yourself!"

"I'll get her back."

"Get her back?!" the anger in Leorio's voice was now tinted with disbelief. "Get her back?! You will go nowhere near her again! I hope you die!"

Hisoka looked at him, his serious expression throwing Leorio off balance.

"I'd rather not." He said. "But if that's what it takes, I will."

Leorio stopped struggling. He opened his mouth slightly, closed it, and then opened it again as though he wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what words to choose. Kurapika watched the magician closely and felt an unexpected wave of sympathy.

 _You understand now, don't you?_ He thought. _You understand fully, and you know it's probably too late. If Aada dies, it will never stop haunting you. You will become me. Out of tune. Broken. Living off revenge. Fortunately for me, I found Leorio, but no one will ever be able to heal you._

Hisoka stood in place, motionless, not sure what else to say. Suddenly, he felt a reassuring squeeze as a small hand wrapped around his. He looked down, surprised.

"Don't worry, Hisoka." Gon looked up at him and squeezed the magician's hand again. "We'll help you find Aada. We'll save her, together."

"That's true." Added Killua as he came closer. "We will. Then you can tell her just how much of an idiot you were. At least, now we have a clue where to start looking."

Kurapika looked at Leorio, silently asking for his answer. The doctor slowly nodded, and then left the room. After a while he came back, carrying a bottle of saline solution and some gauze. He walked towards Hisoka and started cleaning the blood off his face. After he was done, he stepped back and nodded. Hisoka nodded back in thanks, both of them choosing to remain silent, feeling unexpectedly connected by the one person they both wanted back.

* * *

Aada shivered in the cold air of the room she had been put in the day before. It had no windows, its small space illuminated only by several candles. The furnishing was sparse, only a rough, wooden table with two chairs, a narrow bed where she was currently sitting, and a copper bathtub where she could wash. She still couldn't understand what happened, and why of all people, it was him who had done it. She looked at the man sitting on one of the chairs and clenched her fists.

"You don't need to be scared of me." He regarded her calmly, dark grey eyes scanning her face. His voice was neutral, but it did nothing to reassure her. "If I wanted to hurt you, I could've done so many times."

"Kuro, please…" she tried, hating how pathetic it made her sound. "Why did you do this? Let me go."

"I can't do that." He shook his head. "It's pointless to ask."

He looked so different now with his hair combed back, the tattoo on his forehead, the strange green orb earrings now in their place. He looked older, menacing. The reassuring smile she had come to associate with him was gone, replaced by an infuriating smirk and the aura of self-confidence. Aada wondered how and why he did it, wearing a personality and then taking it off like a used piece of rag when it wasn't required anymore.

"Who are you really?" She asked. "The name you've given me when we met is not your real one, is it?"

"Ah… I apologize. You are correct; we haven't been properly introduced. My name is Chrollo Lucilfer. Though, if you prefer, you can still call me Kuro. I quite like it."

Aada did her best to mask a sharp intake of breath. She recognized his name – she knew about the Phantom Troupe from bold headlines screaming of the atrocities they committed, though she never expected to find herself face to face with any of them. Thanks to Leorio's insight shared after he mentioned the Troupe's connection to Hisoka for the first time, she also knew enough to fear the man in front of her, one she had come to like and slowly started trusting. She was terrified, and sure she was doing a poor job at hiding it. She also felt a wave of nausea, remembering a quiet night when Kurapika revealed the fate of his clan to her, how young he was when it happened, how unaccustomed he was to being touched, how scarred the loss left him, pushing him towards a bitter life of revenge. This man killed Kurapika's family. He wanted to hurt her friends, and Hisoka, and she let him get close to her. She let him kiss her, and almost allowed him do more.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, trying to ignore the bile rising in her throat.

Chrollo observed her carefully, a small, knowing smile on his lips.

"Not much." He replied eventually, "Just for you to wait, until a certain someone comes to get you."

Aada's brows furrowed angrily.

"Leave Leorio out of this." She said automatically, her voice hard.

"I didn't mean the doctor," explained Chrollo, looking amused, "I meant the magician."

"I don't know what you mean." said Aada, gears in her mind turning, trying to find a way out of this situation. As far as she remembered, she never mentioned anything specific about Hisoka in all the conversations she had had with Kuro… Chrollo.

"You're not a good liar, unlike him."

Aada remained stubbornly silent.

"I know the man you mentioned back then, the one who left, was Hisoka. You were involved with him."

She sighed, feeling tired.

"I'm not sure you can even call it with that term, but if you insist then yes, I used to be, for a very short time." She admitted. "Not anymore."

Chrollo smirked.

"Is that what you think?"

"I haven't seen him in weeks. I don't know where he is, if that's what you want to know."

"I only want him to come where I tell him to." Explained Chrollo. "He is likely beyond angry, because I took something that he considers his - you. He will come, but not because he cares about you; he's incapable of that. He's simply too possessive to let another play with one of his toys."

"I know he doesn't care." Whispered Aada, eyes downcast. "You don't need to rub it in."

"Good." Chrollo nodded. "It should make it easier. There's no need for you to get hurt. I only want to kill him, not you."

Aada's head shot up and she looked at him, her eyes wide and scared.

"Why?" despite her best efforts, Aada couldn't rid her voice of a shaky, uncertain note.

"He betrayed our trust." Chrollo's gaze hardened and his voice became cold. "And in doing so, caused death of two of the spiders. He made it possible for another to seal my powers. The one who did it, Kurapika, who I know you're acquainted with – to a certain degree I understand his reasons, and he'll get what he deserves, in time. But Hisoka… he took an oath of loyalty never intending to keep it. Nobody betrays the Spider and lives, it's a matter of principle. He's wanted to fight me for a long time now; I'll grant him his wish, on my own terms."

Aada's eyes widened in fear, but it quickly morphed into anger. Hisoka and Chrollo were simply treating her as an object, both of them manipulated her to their own ends. If he even obeyed Chrollo's request, Hisoka wouldn't do so for her. He would simply use her as another reason to fight this cold man in front of her, to test his limits. She still failed to understand why Kuro needed her – if Hisoka wanted to fight him so bad, he'd come anyway, he cared nothing for her. A pawn; that's all she was to the both of them. She grit her teeth angrily, but forced herself to remain as calm. She had to stop using the nickname. The one she gave it to never existed in the first place.

"You're much like me." Chrollo said, watching her closely. "But then again, this is not new to me. I've had some time to get to know you, after all."

Aada huffed angrily.

"I'm nothing like you." She spat.

"Is that so?" Chrollo looked amused again. "We share the strong will, and drive. You're calm under pressure. Look at you now… You assess, analyze and strategize, and you rarely let your emotions get the better of you. You absorb knowledge like a sponge. Often, people bore you, because they're not intelligent or knowledgeable enough to hold your interest. You feel the constant need to be better, to improve yourself. Am I wrong?"

Aada stared back, appalled.

"You are projecting." She said. "You barely know me."

Chrollo bit his lip and then smiled briefly. Just like before, the smile didn't reach his eyes, and Aada felt an unpleasant shiver running down her spine. It was as if Kuro was a coat he wore, and he took off the kind, charming personality she knew him for the minute he didn't need it anymore. In some way it was fascinating to watch, but also terrifying.

"Aada Holme, twenty nine, a prodigy of the National Padokian Medical Academy, trauma and orthopedic surgeon at Northshore hospital. Orphaned at sixteen, when your parents died in a train crash, along with almost fifty other passengers. No siblings. Your father was a well-known neurosurgeon, your mother a painter. No other immediate family. Your parents left you a considerable inheritance, but instead of using it to pay your tuition at the medical academy, you still chose to get a scholarship to prove yourself. One of the youngest graduates in the academy's history. Dissertation on potential use of stem cells in paralysis therapy. Assigned to a mentoring program, to Leorio Paladiknight, which, in my humble opinion, is a waste of your talent. Continual problems with hospital authorities for suggesting procedures considered to be… too innovative. Doctor Eizan was looking for grounds for a disciplinary action against you, by the way, not sure if you knew. He must have felt threatened by you."

"You…" Aada's eyes widened in sudden understanding, recalling Lia's conversation she'd overheard weeks before. "The hospital database…"

Chrollo seemed to enjoy her startled expression.

"It was my associate, but yes, I do my homework; and you'd be surprised how much people reveal when you approach them correctly… like our common friend, Lia. She worries about you a lot and is quite the chatterbox."

"Is Lia okay?" asked Aada quickly. "Did you hurt her?"

"Why would I hurt her?" asked Chrollo. "She's been most helpful."

"You're known for out of the box thinking and pursuing theories many don't pay attention to." He continued, "And you are severely underestimated given your talent and potential, Aada… still, you don't give up and use adversity as your fuel. I can relate. I feel I understand you quite well.

"What I cannot understand is your poor taste in men. Someone like you doesn't need an added weight of another pulling her down. First a dreamer who held you back, probably because he was jealous of your talent, and then a narcissist and sociopath who only wanted to use you…"

He didn't finish. Aada moved faster than he expected her to and slapped him hard. Chrollo smiled again, an unnerving grin that made her take several steps back.

"Which one of them deserves you defending his honour?" he asked. "One was weak and is now dead, and the other doesn't even care about you and soon will be. He probably cares more about me… after all, he's been aching to fight me for so long…"

Aada didn't take the bait.

"Shut up." Her voice was cold and calm. "I know you let me hit you. You're worse than both of them combined. You pretended to be someone else, while all the time you were studying and dissecting me to your own curiosity, and still considering me someone inferior, most likely because I cannot use nen. You even used my father against me. It disgusts me."

"You underestimate me too." She added.

Chrollo looked unfazed.

"That's not true. I didn't mean to offend you." He said. "But yes, I adopted your father's name on purpose, for the painful, but good connotations it holds for you. And before you ask, yes, I used your mother too. I had to be creative to gain your trust, but the association between the scent and childhood worked surprisingly well, didn't it? You don't have many weaknesses to exploit; one of the few is the familial connection you lost."

Aada's head hung low; she was torn between feelings of irrational guilt, anger and humiliation for having been used again, a pawn in someone else's game.

"Why?" she asked bitterly.

"I don't understand. Elaborate."

"Why did you even make an effort to get closer to me?" she raised her head and shot him with an angry look. "If all you needed was to take away Hisoka's toy, you could've done just that, and spare me the performance."

Chrollo shrugged.

"I was rather curious." He admitted. "You're not his usual choice of a toy. I wanted to understand what made you so interesting, and how I could use it. Feigning romantic interest was the simplest, most efficient way to gather more information."

"And did you understand?" Asked Aada bitterly.

"Yes. I think I did." He smiled and brushed his lips with his fingers in a subtle taunt he knew she wouldn't overlook. "Surprisingly, I quite enjoyed myself. Perhaps I was even slightly disappointed when your surprising loyalty to one so undeserving cut our fun short."

"Get out." Aada turned around to look at the wall.

"Why?" he asked, "I thought you liked my company."

Aada shook her head.

"I liked spending time with Kuro." She replied. "But he was never real."

"Ah, Kuro…" Chrollo's voice seemed pensive. "The moment you gave me that nickname, for one, irrational second I thought I'd been found out. You discovered more about my true nature than I cared to reveal, and the name you gave me was dangerously close to the real one. I prefer Chrollo, but those speaking the language of the East you're so fond of call me Kuroro."

"I don't care. Leave."

"Very well." He got up and walked towards the door. "Get some rest. I'll see you soon."

* * *

"Is everything alright, danchou?"

Chrollo, who's just emerged from Aada's room, stopped in his tracks, hearing Machi's impassive voice.

"Of course. Why ask?" he asked calmly.

"Nothing." Machi shook her head and paused. "I was simply curious."

Chrollo nodded and left, leaving Machi to her thoughts. She'd heard the whole conversation Chrollo had with that woman, Aada. He deliberately lied to her. Hisoka cared about her, that much was obvious; for one, he stayed in one place for weeks, which was out of character for him. Then, it was there, the surprising truth, in small, unconscious gestures, expressions, actions that were not typical for him – Hisoka cared, even if he couldn't fully understand it himself yet. Machi remembered the flirtatious attitude the magician assumed with herself, and compared it to when she observed him and that woman stargazing. Being paired with Hisoka on multiple Troupe assignments, Machi has got to know him quite well, she'd witnessed how he combined superficial feelings and mercurial temper. That night when she watched him and Aada, she could see a different Hisoka – devoid of his usual insolence, intense, uncertain, almost vulnerable.

It had been mostly Shal and her who were tasked with keeping tabs on Hisoka, gathering information. When Shal told her the first time that Hisoka was in a relationship with someone, she didn't believe him, but Chrollo had been delighted. Most of the troupe members pushed for revenge and Chrollo himself wanted to be rid of Hisoka once and for all, but none of them suspected that the volatile magician would actually find someone who cared about him, someone they could use against him. Hisoka had always been unusual, unique, and didn't follow patterns; Chrollo found it delightfully ironic that he would fall for the oldest trick in the book. Hisoka had been careless in forming an attachment and Chrollo would latch onto that weakness and exploit it to throw the magician off balance and play him into the most favorable scenario. Machi remembered how strange it felt for her, watching Hisoka kiss another woman on that tall bridge, knowing he used to be interested in her, and that she could have had that, had she not rejected him.

 _If he had looked at me this way…_ she thought briefly, but then shook her head, pushing stray thoughts aside. Hisoka had never really been a part of the Spider, and the Spider was the only thing that truly mattered. It didn't change the fact that Chrollo lied to that woman. She was surprised he decided to pretend to be somebody else to get to know Aada better, but as usual, she didn't question his decisions. Still, why would he do that? She'd known Chrollo for many years, and despite his cold exterior and ever present logic, this time it looked like the grudge he was holding was of a more personal nature. Did losing his powers affect him so much? Hisoka cared, and that was enough. There was no place for emotions in the cold, efficient battle strategies he came up with on the spot. That would be his downfall.

* * *

"I feel we started on a wrong foot."

Chrollo was back, and Aada was not looking forward to his company.

"Is there anything I can do to make up for it?" he asked.

Aada sighed.

"Yes." She replied, "Let me go home. Don't hurt Hisoka."

Chrollo smirked.

"Anything but that?"

"Get out."

"Ah," he raised his hands defensively, "but I come bearing gifts."

He reached into his coat and handed Aada a book. She took it and her eyes widened.

"Is this…?" she looked back at Chrollo disbelievingly.

"Yes." He nodded. " _Principles of Anatomy",_ the first edition. Be careful with it – it's over a hundred years old. It seems that the love for dusty, old tomes is another trait we share."

Despite feeling tempted to explore the book, Aada shook her head and handed it back to Chrollo.

"You thought this would work? You cannot be that stupid."

"No, I didn't think you'd just change your mind and become friendly." Admitted Chrollo. "I merely hoped it would help you understand I'm not your enemy."

Aada shook her head in disbelief.

"And Hisoka is, is that it?" she asked. "Did it ever cross your mind that he might be the one to kill you?"

Chrollo chuckled, clearly amused.

"He doesn't stand a chance." He said. "I am well prepared."

Aada felt something brush against her leg and jumped, but couldn't see anything. Another brush, this time against her arm, left her curious despite the situation she was in. She reached to touch the invisible creature, and stroked it, feeling the shape, the qualities of the long body that initially reminded her of her snake tattoo. She quickly determined however it wasn't a snake, but a skeletal structure of a fish. Her brow furrowed in concentration.

" _Polypterydae."_ She whispered.

Chrollo smirked.

"That didn't take long. You are right. See? I told you we had a lot in common."

Aada immediately withdrew her hand.

"A few bony fish?" she asked. "That won't be enough."

"Of course it won't." he agreed, reaching into his coat again and retrieving another book. "Throughout the years, I have collected a lot of useful abilities in this tome. That is my power, the one Hisoka made me lose. I can steal others' powers, and I have acquired quite a few new tricks especially for him, including some from my spiders."

Aada frowned in disgust.

"You took the nen powers from your friends?" she asked. "What kind of a leader are you?"

"Oh, but they gave them to me willingly." He explained, "All to take down the one you hold in such high regard.

"I set the scene to my advantage. He will die, and nothing can prevent it. You might as well accept it and move on."

Suddenly he smiled.

"Do you know what's most ironic in this situation?" he asked, and continued not waiting for her answer. "Hisoka was also the one who helped me regain my powers, all to fight me on equal terms. After your other friend sealed them, Hisoka could have killed me easily, but he refused since having such an advantage over me wasn't appealing. Little does he realize it won't be on equal terms anymore. I don't share his qualms."

Aada could feel the hair in the back of her neck standing up. She had been right about Hisoka, he wouldn't attack someone who couldn't defend themselves, and now, because of that, he might die, and she couldn't help it.

"Think on it." Said Chrollo and got up, preparing to leave. "Keep the book."

* * *

Aada tried relaxing in the hot water, but couldn't. It was difficult to keep track of time here, but she knew it must have been days. A week? She didn't know where she was, or what to do. She sighed, her mind immediately providing images of the one she missed the most. She imagined his mocking smile, his wildly colored hair, his long fingers, the star and tear painted on his cheeks. She wondered where he was. Was he even thinking of her, sometimes? Surely not as much as she thought about him. She wished he'd come for her because he cared, but she knew better. It was only the question of possessiveness, not love. Even knowing that, she still missed him and how alive he made her feel.

Another face appeared in front of her mind's eye and her heart clenched painfully. Leorio. He must have been worried sick. She longed to hear him laugh, to put her head on his shoulder, share a cigarette and stories of her day with him, to drink wine on the old couch on the porch, to tease him about Kurapika. Until a few months back, Aada thought Leorio and her lived in their safe, little world; as friends, teacher and student, exploring most efficient ways to help others. Was it all a lie? This cold world of calculation, revenge, hate, killing others for personal gain – was it something that nen did to people? Was this Hisoka's world? Was it Leorio's too?

It was relatively easy for Aada to make connections, to have people like her, respond to her, but she only held several precious, deep bonds. Leorio. Hisoka. Both of them completed her in a different way. She had already lost Hisoka, and she'd be damned if she lost her best friend as well. She didn't want to wait, hoping to be saved. She had to find her way out of this mess.

The door opened, disrupting her musing. She heard footsteps and immediately knew who it was. He never bothered to knock, or ask if he could enter. Her body tensed; she brought her knees close to her chest and crossed her arms to cover herself up. She knew it wasn't wise to antagonize him and that her best chance was to make him trust her and try to get away when he lowered his guard, but she doubted a man like him ever allowed himself to do so or that she could come up with an act so convincing it could fool one who lied for a living.

"That's quite a nice view." Chrollo's voice sounded amused.

Aada glared at him, hating how he invaded her privacy.

"Turn around."

"Mhmm." He complied, but she still felt extremely uneasy.

She got up, stepped out of the tub, quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, not bothering to waste time to dry her skin. Chrollo turned around and walked towards her. He took his coat off and put it on her shoulders.

"There." He said. "I don't want you to be cold."

Aada's body tensed even more, the scent attached to the material invading her senses. It wasn't turpentine any longer, just like all other elements she associated with Kuro, the unique mix of pine and licorice was a lie too, replaced with an airy, cold and metallic scent with a leathery undernote. She longed for another scent; earthy, smoky, laced with unmistakable sweetness. She felt trapped. She wanted to get away from here, but still couldn't find a way.

"You're shivering. Come here." Before she could react, Chrollo closed the distance between them and locked his arms around her, forcing her head to rest on his shoulder, ignoring the stiffness of her body.

"It used to relax you, remember?" He whispered, "I'm not going to hurt you."

This was a good moment to start gaining his trust, but Aada couldn't force herself to do that. She hated pretending, and he'd likely see right through her. Her body remained stiff, her muscles unable to relax.

"You don't need to be so guarded around me. Do you know how it felt? To lose a part of me?" asked Chrollo, rubbing circles on her back, "To not be able to access my powers? So helpless, vulnerable, weak. It made me sick. It was Hisoka's doing. He hurt you too, didn't he? Another thing we have in common."

He placed a finger on her chin, tilting her head up so she would look at him. Before she could react, he pressed his lips against hers. Aada immediately tried pushing him away.

"You don't need to use these cheap tricks on me anymore. It's insulting." She spat, rubbing her mouth.

Chrollo's brow furrowed, but he still didn't let go of her.

"Did I overdo it?" he asked. "I guess I did… On the other hand, I know you enjoyed it, the first time."

"Stop holding on to him." He whispered, ignoring her angered expression. "He used you, and he's holding you back. Maybe… I can give you something you need."

"You're a good actor, but not that good."

He smiled.

"And what if I'm not acting? I can't see why we couldn't make your stay here… enjoyable, for the both of us. I quite liked spending time with you as Kuro, even if you don't believe me."

"You won't convince me you care about me. I know better."

"Care? Love is a wasted emotion on ones such as you and I. We have no need for it." he said with conviction. "But I don't mind spending more time with you and enjoying it. Someone who understands me without effort. To him, you're just a toy – and not the first one either. He is possessive of his toys, that's why he'll come, but he will never care about you."

"And you will?" Aada's voice was bitter. "You've just admitted this is the one thing you're not capable of."

He leaned into her, his mouth next to her ear.

"I don't have to care. You need to forget, don't you? I could have made you forget, back then. I still can."

Aada tried to push him back again.

"I don't want to forget." The words left her mouth before she could think, but she knew them to be true. She didn't want to forget, even if her feelings for Hisoka were unrequited. For a second, Chrollo forgot his act, and she could see it clearly in his eyes – a cold, calculating, emotionless void. He was trying to manipulate her, but she failed to understand his reasons.

"We'll see about that, won't we?" Was all he said before he left.

* * *

Chrollo was back the next day, his quiet, calculating presence grating on Aada's nerves. They sat in silence for a while, drinking coffee he brought with him. The coffee was wrong, with milk and sugar. She remembered Hisoka knew how she liked to drink it, how he made it for her when she was depressed after losing her patient, another reminder of how much she missed him.

"Why are you so hostile towards me?" Chrollo was the first one to break the silence. "We do understand each other quite well, I think."

Aada shook her head.

"It's hard to believe you even need to ask that. I feel nothing but disdain for you." She replied. "You pretended to be someone else, you're holding me here against my will, and you're trying to use me against someone I care about. If this wasn't enough, you killed Kurapika's family, and for what?"

"Oh, that?" Chrollo sounded surprised. "I didn't expect you to have such double standards, Aada. Do you know how many people Hisoka has killed? Only to test himself… You don't seem to hold that against him."

"Don't compare yourself to him." Aada was angry. "He needs to prove his worth, yes; but he wouldn't kill anyone not able to defend themselves, unless provoked. And he wasn't with you when you killed Kurapika's clan."

"You think you know him so well, Aada? Hisoka is nothing but a rabid dog, only following his wants and instincts with no deeper thought." Continued Chrollo, unnerving her further. "He should be put down, I know that now. He hurt you, didn't he? I know he hurt your best friend. He will hurt you again, given the opportunity, and you know that."

"As if you wouldn't." Countered Aada.

"I'd try not to."

"Unless it was beneficial for you." Aada shook her head in disbelief. "Do not take me for a fool, Kuro..."

"I'm glad you called me that again." He interrupted, the unnerving, empty smile back on his face.

"A slip of a tongue. Why do you seem so intent on making me care about you? For one, it won't hurt Hisoka – he doesn't care about me, he's made that pretty clear. And then, people just don't work that way."

"And if it did hurt him? Would that convince you?"

"No." Aada's response was immediate.

"Why not? Wouldn't you want to get back at him?"

Aada shook her head again.

"I thought I did. Maybe if I was ten years younger, it would seem a good choice, but it rarely is. That's something you're doing now. It leads nowhere."

"Why?" Chrollo sounded mildly curious.

Aada sighed. "The fact that you are asking me this only proves our conversation is pointless." She said. "Hisoka may have hurt me, but I care about him and will continue to, probably for a long while, even when he doesn't feel the same. I wouldn't want to cause him pain – which is an academic discussion at this point anyway. He doesn't care about me, and I do not care about you."

Chrollo frowned in response.

"He certainly doesn't." He retrieved his phone and scrolled through it for a while, before bringing up a message and showing it to Aada.

 _Am I supposed to care? She was just a toy, I can find another whenever I want._

Rationally, Aada knew he showed it to her to prove a point, but it still hurt. She didn't want it, but she felt a few tears rolling down her cheeks. She felt scared and tired, trying to be strong in an impossible situation, and Hisoka's words have been the last straw. She bit her lip, but the tears kept flowing. Another small victory for Chrollo. She felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat down next to her. She could feel his arm wrapping around her shoulders, too numb to resist when he pulled her in an embrace.

"Shhh… don't cry." He said. "I can understand, to a certain degree, why he can be fascinating – always so high strung, possessive, passionate about what he loves. Sadly, it is not you. It is only carnage, and bloodlust he yearns for. I can see how he can appeal to basic, primal instincts; but you are better than that."

"He deserves to pay for what he did to both of us, you know that, don't you?" His voice was still calm and almost hypnotic. "I know you're too intelligent to believe I'd hurt him for what he did to you, and I won't disrespect you by telling you such a lie. I'll hurt him for what he did to the Spider, and to me, but if you want to believe part of it will be for your sake, I won't mind."

Aada's mind felt as though it was covered by a thick, impenetrable cloth paralyzing her movements, but when again she tried struggling against Chrollo's hold, his arm held her firmly in place with ease. She cried more, tears of helplessness and a broken heart, until she finally escaped the only way possible to her at the moment – by slipping into an uneasy sleep.


	25. Teeth and Bone

_**A/N:**_ _I'm always sorry, aren't I? Sorry for the most delayed update ever. To be honest, I'm feeling nervous posting another chapter after so long._ _It's not very long, but hopefully you'll enjoy it. As always, I'd be grateful if you let me know what you think._

* * *

 **Teeth and Bone**

When she woke up, Aada felt tired. She didn't know how long she had slept, but the sleep had not erased the deep, exhausting tiredness that sinks into the bones. She knew what it was, remembered it well. Sadness. Helplessness.

Though tired and sad, she was warm, registering everything in slow motion – it was almost dark, as always, there were arms wrapped around her and she was pressed against someone, someone who was the source of warmth. When she moved, the two arms tightened their hold and the breathing pattern of the person next to her changed to an uneven one of somebody who was about to wake up. The scent… the scent wasn't right; but still, tired and groggy, Aada gave in to wishful thinking, a fantasy she'd nurtured, and pressed herself closer to the warmth.

"Hi-so-ka..."

"Definitely not." Chrollo's voice seemed half amused and half offended and only then did Aada realize she said the magician's name aloud.

Immediately remembering who she was with, she felt her body stiffen. At least, she noticed with relief, she was wearing the same clothes she fell asleep in. As for Chrollo, he was still in his leather pants and ridiculous fur trimmed coat. She could feel his skin underneath her cheek, so warm in contrast to his cold, calculating personality. How strange, she thought. Warmth, something so primal and coveted, felt good even though it was exuded by one she was afraid of.

"I'd rather you didn't say his name when you wake up next to me." Chrollo sounded nonchalant.

"I never asked you to stay." Replied Aada, making an attempt to move away, but as expected, he didn't let her. "Why did you?"

"I wanted to, so I did. If that's not enough, you were quite distressed last night... I thought perhaps you needed some comfort."

"Hypocrite. You were the one who caused it."

"That's not true. I only told you some truths you needed to hear. He was the one who hurt you, even though he wasn't here." Chrollo's hand found its way in Aada's hair, his fingers slowly massaging her scalp. If she could forget who he was, the caress would feel pleasant, relaxing. It both baffled and scared her, this audacity of his, the intimacy of his touch after all he'd said and done. She couldn't understand why he continued this charade, when he'd already admitted the way he had acted as Kuro was a lie. Maybe it was simply some twisted rivalry with Hisoka, to be able to play with a toy that the magician considered his. If only she could summon enough strength to be infuriated by it, she'd welcome it, but she was so very tired.

His other hand slowly moved up and down her back. Aada wondered if he was using his nen on her; she couldn't feel it, unlike those few times with Hisoka, but it didn't mean it wasn't there. It had to be nen, she thought, because against reason, against her wishes, her body slowly started to relax. It had to be nen, because she wouldn't forgive herself if it wasn't.

"What caused you to be this way?" she asked, surprising herself.

"What way? You say it as though I am terribly flawed."

"This way…" Aada sighed. "Not seeing difference between people and things. Taking whatever you want, and not even batting an eye if you need to kill to get it.

She paused, but surprisingly, no retort came.

"You speak of some connection we share but… I don't think you can connect, not really, not on a deep level. You said love was wasted on us. Connections to others are not flaws, Kuro. They can be strengths. But you don't see it."

Damn, she chastised herself immediately. There it was again, the nickname she wasn't supposed to use. She couldn't see his face, but was sure he was smirking, in his annoying, arrogant way.

"I want to know where you come from. Where this all comes from." She said, and found it to be true. Chrollo terrified her, but on the other hand the way his mind worked was strangely fascinating.

"Very well. I'll tell you."

That surprised her. She didn't expect him to simply do what she asked.

"Have you ever heard of Meteor City?" he started, and Aada shook her head, her cheek rubbing against warm skin.

"It's not surprising; not many have." He started, "Meteor City… is a wasteland, a giant junkyard; those who dwell there exist in no official records. A land of decay full of ghosts. I am one of them."

Aada didn't know how long he spoke, his calm voice sounding completely detached, as though he was narrating the life of somebody he knew or a character in a book he'd read. It sounded in fact like a story written by someone with cruel, yet impressive imagination. Aada found that she couldn't fault Chrollo for wanting to form the Phantom Troupe, and she couldn't fault those being its founding members for wanting to survive in a place that could swallow you whole without anyone to notice or anyone to remember. She found it quite impressive how Chrollo managed to steer a group with so many different and strong personalities, instilling clear rules to follow. He said their bond was thinner than water, yet thicker than blood (1).

The Meteor City built by Chrollo's words didn't seem like a place that fostered appreciation for human life, or life in general; instead, it encouraged killing to gain power or throwing lives away in the name of revenge, all under the guise of loyalty to one another. It had been his home, a home where you guard the door and sleep with one eye open. It surprised Aada greatly how little Chrollo valued his own life, putting the Spider above himself, a strangely selfless way of thinking for one who appeared so selfish. No, she didn't fault any of them for wanting to be together and strive for a better life. She understood how the environment he grew up in molded Chrollo into who he was today. She did not condemn the start of the story, but how it developed made her feel sick. She could understand a certain degree of ruthlessness needed to survive. She did not forgive murder.

"Is that what you wanted to know?" asked Chrollo quietly, and loosened his grip enough to move away slightly and look at her. Despite what he was, she felt sadness, thinking who he could have become with that bright mind of his if he'd been born elsewhere. Pointless musings... he was who he was, people didn't change, and that bright mind led its host to dark places, beyond the point of no return.

"And so there it is, the truth." Chrollo's hand brushed Aada's cheek as he finished his story. "It is easier to understand now, isn't it? The truth is that the kind of connections you spoke of are a hindrance. What counts is fully appreciating and enjoying what gives you pleasure. What counts is opportunities. Potential.

"You have so much of it. It's exhilarating."

"I thought I was just a bargaining chip." She replied.

"You are." The corner of Chrollo's mouth quirked, a ghost of a smile. "But you can become more than that, if you let go of the past, and of unnecessary attachments."

"You mean Hisoka."

"Mhmm. Yes, among other things." Chrollo confirmed. "You are a bit like him, I have to admit that. But you are more like me. You know it's true. He doesn't love you, and never will." The words cut into her mercilessly, and Aada wondered if repeating them gave him some kind of twisted pleasure.

"I will not care for you; but thinner than water, thicker than blood… I can give you that." He now held Aada's face in the palms of his hands, holding her gaze, his voice gaining deep, hypnotic quality she attributed to nen.

His hair got mussed during his sleep creating a strange, distorted image – the face was Kuro's, while the voice and demeanor belonged to Chrollo. In her current state, it only added to the confusion Aada felt. She was tired of cruelty. Tired of blurred lines. It had to be nen; her mind felt heavy and clouded and all of a sudden she found herself agreeing with some of Chrollo's words. They were alike... maybe. Maybe he was right, she thought absentmindedly. Was he right?

"Relax. Living in the moment is the best thing anybody can do. Why not enjoy it, and the kind of connection we have?" He continued, gathering her closer, the already almost-familiar warmth back beneath her cheek. "There's no one to hurt you here. No one to disturb us."

His last words sobered Aada up, breaking whatever trance she started to enter. Faces flashed before her mind's eye, reminding her of home she wanted to return to; Hisoka's face held a prominent place, but he wasn't the one who tethered her back to reality. Hisoka left. Hisoka didn't care. But there was someone who always did, a connection that would never be broken, one that wormed its way into the core of her very being, warm, steady, reassuring. Loving. She imagined kind eyes behind small shades, a smile that made her feel better, arms that always held her when she was hurt, even the stupid, cheap suit he insisted on wearing although she told him countless times she'd buy him a new one. Friend. No, more than that. The only family she had left.

Her mind worked on overdrive now. She had to get away from here. Chrollo said there was no one to disturb them. Aada hoped it meant that wherever they were, they were now alone. If they were alone, it was her only chance to attempt an escape. But how? They may be alone, but Chrollo had his nen, which made him so much stronger than her she couldn't begin to imagine. Those fish he showed her a few days back… would they tear her to shreds if she tried to escape and he caught her? No, there was no use thinking about that. She analyzed possible options as quickly as she could. What could she do without nen, unlike her friends? Leorio stood little chance against Chrollo, maybe Kurapika did. Hisoka… he'd have a chance. But if Illumi could incapacitate him to the point of taking his eyesight away, who was to say that… Oh. Incapacitate. Incapacitate… Yes. How? Hands… If she used her hands, he'd easily stop her, he was much stronger. True, but she could use something else. The pieces of the puzzle clicked together, but Aada didn't stop worrying; the thought of what she was about to do was nauseating. It felt degrading. No matter. If she had to degrade herself to get her life back, she would. She'd had worse things happen to her.

 _Can I lie though?_ She thought, _Can I lie good enough to fool him? I thought not but…_

' _No, he didn't suffer.'_

' _No, she wasn't in much pain.'_

' _No, it was quick. They didn't even feel it.'_

She now remembered she had lied many times, and was convincing, though she never enjoyed it. As good as she was, she couldn't save everyone, and dealing with victims of accidents or natural disasters made her face death more often than she wanted, and made her lie. Why would the ones left behind need the painful truth? It would only add to their despair. And so sometimes she lied, and now she had to lie just as good.

She was already close, and had to be even closer. She had to be precise. She forced herself to calm down and succeeded; after all, she'd been in life-or-death situation many times before, she'd held the lives of others in her hands, and the only difference now was that the life in question was her own. She got to know Chrollo a bit, and even if he didn't believe her, there was a good chance he'd play along just to use her actions against her later, or to play on Hisoka's possessiveness. His powers also made him very sure of himself, and he didn't consider her a real threat.

"Why so silent all of a sudden?" Chrollo's voice interrupted her musings.

"You have given me a lot to think about."

"And?"

"You may be right." She said quietly, happy that in their current position he couldn't see her face. "Maybe I need to forget."

"Good. Even if it's not completely true, it's a good start."

Chrollo pulled away slightly, tipped her chin up and kissed her. She didn't push him away this time. At first, she still felt guilt. Then came an angry thought that she shouldn't. Why feel guilt when Hisoka didn't even care? It wasn't important. Both Hisoka and Chrollo were using her, but she was better than that. She wasn't going to be part of tug of war between two men who cared nothing about her, like a mindless puppet. She wasn't a thing. She had a life to go back to, and a calling neither of them could follow. Feeling strangely empowered, she poured herself into the kiss, to the point of being aggressive. She didn't recognize herself, vaguely wondering if it was adrenaline. No matter. They both angered her so much. Hisoka. Chrollo. Thinking that, she bit Chrollo's lip and found perverse, distorted pleasure in the taste of his blood on her tongue.

 _Look what both of you did to me,_ she thought. _No more._

He pulled away again, his usually emotionless face looking mildly surprised.

"I did not expect that."

"I told you; you don't know me as well as you thought."

"I guess I don't."

He kissed her again, and Aada didn't feel guilty anymore. She felt detached, concentrated only on what she needed to do to get away. She grabbed a fistful of Chrollo's hair and yanked his head back. She kissed his neck and felt his hands tighten on her shirt.

 _I cannot use nen,_ she thought, and almost smiled. _But I know exactly how you are built._

She kept up her act, all the time looking for the perfect spot, tilting her head so she'd had better purchase. Then, she bit down, as hard as she could without breaking skin. Immediately, she moved away. The mere fact she could do so meant she succeeded. Chrollo's body went limp, his eyes rolled up in his head. Even though she couldn't afford to waste time, she had to fight off a thought she did not expect, because in this moment she understood she could kill him. She could kill him, and he wouldn't hurt anybody else. No more people like Kurapika, with their lives destroyed by loss and revenge. No more danger to those she loved. She could kill him and yet… she couldn't. She wasn't like him. She took an oath; and oath to heal, not to take lives.

Shaking her head, Aada quickly grabbed her glasses and shoes and ran for the door. It wasn't locked, just as she expected; when he was in the room with her, Chrollo felt too cocky, a proof of how little he truly thought of her. She hoped that her bet on them being alone was correct because she had to find her way through an unknown place and she didn't have much time. She bit down on Chrollo's vagus nerve, the one that Hisoka almost hit on her own neck the night they met. For a trained medic, it wasn't that hard to find; a long nerve running down either side of the neck. He'd be unconscious for several minutes at best, and most likely he'd feel nauseous and would have to crawl to move once he came to, which would buy her more precious minutes. A splitting headache would be an added bonus.

Quickly looking around she surmised she was being kept in a basement of some abandoned, decrepit building. The paint was falling off the walls and she could see patches of brick underneath in the cold, bluish light of several lamps that reminded her of the hospital she worked in. She ran down the corridor, and eventually found steps leading up. She didn't run as fast she could; she was still looking around in case there were more Spiders in the building, but luckily, so far she hasn't stumbled upon one.

It looked like there were two underground levels in the building and running up the steps was starting to take its toll. When she reached what looked like a ground floor, Aada stopped for a few precious seconds, heaving, but enjoying the daylight seeping from a glassless window.

First she had to cover as much ground as possible while attempting to identify where exactly she was. Find a phone. Then hide and hope Chrollo wouldn't find her, or try to reach home on her own. She took a deep breath, ran for the door, and then into the sunlight of a cobblestone street. She was grateful for the adrenaline that was still carrying her and ran, as fast and far as she could.

* * *

(1) "Thinner than water, thicker than blood" is a quote (sadly, not mine) - used to describe relationships between the inhabitants of Meteor City, as per Hunterpedia. I liked it.


	26. Bloodlust and Wine

_**A/N:** And here's the fastest update for a change - second chapter in one day. I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish it tonight. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Bloodlust and Wine**

It took very little time for Aada to understand where she was. At first she just ran, focusing on getting as far away as possible; after passing a couple of blocks she took a look around and immediately noticed the massive structure in the distance, dominating the skyline. A pale spire shooting up into the clouds, a beacon for all who cherished the thrill of the fight – Heaven's Arena.

So that's what he planned, she thought. Hisoka valued fighting and skill above everything, so Chrollo wanted to humiliate and kill him in the shrine dedicated to what he loved most, in front of an audience that knew the magician and cheered for him many times in the past. She shivered, in the cold; passing a newsstand she glanced at the newspapers and found that she'd been gone for over a week, but for now that was the least of her worries. Her clothes were too light for the weather meaning she'd be exposed to the elements and could get sick, she also didn't have enough money to travel home – she didn't expect that Chrollo had taken her so far. Scratch that, she didn't have almost any money – her wallet had been in the bag that Chrollo had left behind when he'd took her, along with her phone. Aada shoved her hand in her pocket and grabbed the little change she had there – fortunately that should cover a several minute call.

Chrollo would likely expect her to go in places most filled with tourists, so she deliberately ran towards less frequented areas. She'd been here twice before and hoped she could still navigate the streets with little problem and not get lost. She finally found a public phone in a small alley next to a post office; her hands shook a bit when she reached for it and dialled the number.

* * *

Hisoka was sitting on a windowsill in Aada's room, looking outside the window absentmindedly. He was experiencing mixed emotions when thinking about her. After Chrollo's actions forced him to realize the true nature of his feelings towards Aada, they had become another driving force in his life surprisingly fast and he wasn't prepared for that. It was new to him, and threw him off balance. Though it had been difficult to admit, he missed her and the dynamics they used to share, her acceptance and care for him, her sharp mind, her mannerisms and the way she used to smile at him. It was baffling how many things and how seemingly small reminded him of her, like the windowsill he was sitting on – his first thought was that she liked reading there, and he liked watching her as she did. If she were there now, she'd look up from a book or a magazine she was reading, sigh and tell him to find something better to do which naturally he wouldn't. If only.

It pained him to think that she was probably terrified, he feared what Chrollo might do to her and how it would affect her; it hurt, in a way previously unknown to him, and unlike the physical pain he usually experienced, it did not want to heal. Chrollo could easily kill her, and Hisoka dreaded how much more it could hurt if that happened. At such times, he regretted ever meeting Aada, missing his careless existence filled by excitement and fueled by adrenaline. Then, inevitably, he would remember the dry, deep scent of pine resin, needles, incense and damp leaves, strong enough to erase any regrets.

He put his hand in his pocket, caressing the small object he took from Aada's nightstand without the others knowing, the only thing she always carried with her before she decided to part with it sometime after their falling out, finding it ironic that the silver band that he used to be so bent on destroying was now his only connection to her. Well, maybe not only one; he looked towards her dresser and reached out, grabbing a small, dark bottle. He opened it and carefully shook one drop on his wrist – enough to immerse himself in the scent he missed and not enough for the others to notice what he did.

He recalled Leorio saying that Aada loved him, and he broke her. Once he got rid of Chrollo, she might not be willing to trust him again; but like every other aspect of Hisoka's personality, this one was also ruled by possessiveness and bordered on obsession. She was his little pine, and whatever happened, he would get her back. If she didn't want to understand it and accept him back into her life, he'd make her.

Deep in thought, he barely registered a phone shrilling somewhere, probably the living room. It stopped quickly.

"Guys!" he held Leorio yell, "All of you, come quickly! It's her!"

A second later, the windowsill was empty. As he ran towards the commotion, Hisoka was overwhelmed by a feeling he barely recognized. Hope.

"…much time, Leorio." He heard from the loudspeaker as he ran into the living room, and immediately froze. It was her. She sounded tired, but it was her. She was alive, and not only that, she managed to get away somehow.

"How did you manage to run away?" Leorio said, mirroring his thoughts.

"Vagus nerve." She replied immediately. Leorio looked like he understood; as for Hisoka, he neither paid attention nor did he care. He felt overwhelmed, and suddenly didn't know what to do. He had been preparing for the moment he could speak to her again, but now his mind seemed blank.

"It doesn't matter. I can see Heaven's arena from where I stand." Continued Aada quickly. "I thought I could try to get home, but it's too far and I don't have any money left. Hiding and hoping for the best is pretty much all I can do for now."

"We'll find a way to get you." Said Leorio.

Suddenly, Hisoka felt a jab in his side. Leorio was looking at him intently.

"Say something." He mouthed.

Hisoka's eyes widened; his mouth opened and closed, and when no sound came, Leorio shook his head angrily.

"Idiot." He mouthed again, before giving his full attention to Aada once more.

"How will I find you?" he asked her.

"I think there's one place he won't expect me to go – the arena itself." She replied. "You'll need about two days to get here, during that time I'll try to get my hands on different clothes, then I'll weasel my way into the audience on one of the lower floors somehow – 15th, let's say. After each match, I'll be hiding somewhere close to the entrance to the floor.

"There are more of them, Leorio… I heard them talk outside the door." Aada continued, "I'm not sure how many, at least two, one of them female. I assume they all know how you look like? That's going to be problematic."

"Don't worry about it." Leorio said immediately. "We'll think of something. You concentrate on staying safe."

"One more thing…" Aada's voice suddenly grew very serious. "Kurapika is still with you, correct?"

"Yes."

"Have him contact Hisoka, please." Having heard his name, the magician felt his hand rise involuntarily, as if reaching towards the voice.

"Chrollo got new abilities from the Spiders. I don't know what kind, but he seems very confident. Please tell… Hisoka…" her voice shook slightly, "For some reason Chrollo thinks Hisoka is possessive enough of me to come. He can't fall for this.

"Tell Hisoka not to come, no matter what. Even if he doesn't find me, Chrollo will still act as though I were with him, I'm sure of that, and I feel he can lie even better than Hisoka." She concluded, a bitter note to her tone that caused a painful tug somewhere in the magician's chest.

"It's very surprising how well you've got to know me." A new voice on the other side of the line made Hisoka's heart skip a beat and all of a sudden it felt as though the temperature in the room dropped.

"It's also very surprising you thought I wouldn't find you." The mockery of Chrollo's tone twisted Hisoka's insides in a knot.

"Let go of me!" Aada's voice tore through the haze, sounding more distant. She must've let go of the receiver trying to get away.

"Let go of her you bastard!" Leorio's hands were balled into fists as he screamed at the phone.

"Please…" the fear and resignation Hisoka could hear finally tore through the emptiness in his thoughts.

"Little pine!" he called for her. He didn't know what to tell her, he just wanted her to know he was there.

"I knew you were there, Hisoka." It was Chrollo who picked up the receiver. "What an endearing nickname you came up with. Pity she cannot hear you now."

"You…" the magician felt his bloodlust rise at an alarming pace. "What have you done?!"

"Calm down… She's just unconscious." Chrollo sighed, "She gave me quite the headache, figuratively and literally.

"I'm not going to kill her, Hisoka. I admit I was thinking about it at first, but I changed my mind. Our dear doctor is only the second person I've met that managed to render me helpless. She could've killed me, and I bet you're now wishing she did… Compassion is one of the few flaws she has, isn't it?

"I'm going to keep her, and since I'm going to kill you next time I see you, consider it a permanent arrangement."

Hisoka growled, and his rising bloodlust made all the others in the room back away.

"Naturally, I'll probably get bored of her sometime in the future…" mused Chrollo, "But for now I'm not done truly enjoying her company. As for you… wallow in your regret for the short time you have left. She said two days, didn't she? Two days it is then." There was an audible click and the connection ended.

Gon and Killua, Kurapika and Leorio – all could feel as though the air was sucked out of the room for a few seconds, and then the space exploded with killing intent when the always calm and calculating magician lost himself in rage.

His eyes were wide, mouth curled in a furious snarl, bloodlust rolling off of him in heavy, smothering waves. Gon gasped; he knew the feeling all too well, recalling how it terrified him the first time he'd been subjected to it. What he'd felt back on Zebil island did not compare to this; back then Hisoka's bloodlust held a tinge of anticipation and twisted sense of joy. Now it was pure hate and he was finding it hard to breathe.

Kurapika was the first one who sprang into action; he slowly approached the magician, his hands raised in a universal gesture of peace, hoping it was enough.

"Hisoka…"

The magician's head snapped up and he slowly turned his head in Kurapika's direction. There was something whirling in the depths behind these wide, unseeing golden orbs, something primal, animalistic and terrifying.

"Stop, please." said Kurapika, carefully observing Hisoka's face so he could jump away at any sign of a direct threat. "You're not helping her. Don't play into his hands. If you lose yourself, who can she count on? We can't do it alone."

Hisoka's gaze gained a bit of clarity. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, his fists clenching and unclenching as he visibly struggled to regain control and for those watching it seemed as though hours passed until the bloodlust finally subsided. Eventually he opened his eyes and looked back at Kurapika, who was taken aback by what he saw.

"Kurapika." There was something hollow, deadly in Hisoka's voice that made Kurapika shudder when he heard his name.

"I know you want to kill him. It will be me. Don't stand in my way, or you'll join him." Having said that, he stormed out of the room.

"Hey!" Leorio started after the magician, but Kurapika grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"Leave him be for now."

"He can't just say something like that and leave!" Leorio looked enraged, and even in the situation they were in, paradoxically Kurapika felt happy he immediately jumped to his defense.

"Think," he pleaded, "He's always been alone, now he's attached to someone. The novelty of these feelings, knowing that she is now in the presence of someone who will use her and hurt her, guilt for leaving and not protecting her all work against him. He's usually alone, and he cannot save her alone. I think… I hate to say it but today both Aada and Hisoka played into Chrollo's hands. What Hisoka feels has become a weakness and Chrollo knows it. I can only hope Hisoka finds a way to remake this into a strength, otherwise… If he confronts Chrollo like this, he will lose."

Leorio's head hung low now.

"Chrollo… he meant what he said, didn't he?" he asked hopefully. "He won't kill her, right?"

"Aada is only a tool for him, I don't believe he cares about what will happen to her eventually." Kurapika replied. "But in this case I think he didn't lie. Chrollo wants to get back at Hisoka, and, but only indirectly, at me. I sealed his powers, but it was Hisoka who made it possible by betraying and deceiving the Spider. As a result, two Spiders died and Chrollo lost access to his nen.

"If he killed Aada, Hisoka would suffer, but the need for revenge might tip the scales in his favour." He explained. "No, instead Chrollo will keep using her as bait, playing on Hisoka's regret and throwing him off balance.

Kurapika's grip on Leorio's hand suddenly grew stronger, bordering painful. He looked up at him, his eyes turned crimson.

"I need to help him, Leorio. I don't mind anymore if I'm not the one to strike the final blow… I want to end them all." Said Kurapika, his voice firm. "Aada is precious not only to Hisoka and you. I too care about her. I'm not going to let the Spider take anyone else from me."

"We'll not let that happen." Replied Leorio. "I… know Hisoka and you stand the best chance against him, but we'll all help.

"Won't we?" he looked at the boys.

"Why didn't she kill him, Leorio?" asked Killua. "Aada doesn't strike me as stupid. That was stupid."

"And what is a vagus nerve?" Gon chimed in. "How could Aada get away from someone like Chrollo? He's strong."

"Killua… She took an oath, just like I will soon." Started Leorio. "To heal, and to always use her knowledge for the good of others. She wouldn't kill, unless in self-defense.

"As for what vagus nerve is, it's the tenth cranial nerve…" he paused, seeing Gon's empty gaze. "Ugh, scratch that. It's a long nerve that runs on both sides of the neck. If you press it hard and long enough on somebody's neck, it will cause that person to temporarily lose consciousness."

"Oh…" Leorio could almost see the gears turning in Gon's mind. "That's useful to know. But I don't think Aada is strong enough to do that. How else…"

Killua sighed and elbowed his friend in the ribs.

"Think, Gon. She used her teeth."

"Yes." Nodded Leorio. "And none of you mention that fact to Hisoka, not in the state he's in now."

"Why?" Gon looked at the doctor innocently. "I think it's badass."

It sickened Leorio to even try to explain it. He had a good idea of what could've happened to give Aada such opportunity, and it was making him furious.

"Never mind." He said instead. "We don't have time for that. Just don't mention it to him. He'll figure everything out quickly by himself once he calms down a bit and... uh… I don't think he'll take it well.

"Get us tickets, please." He looked at Kurapika. "We need to leave tomorrow morning."

Kurapika nodded. Suddenly, all of them could hear a low, repeatable thud, and felt small tremors.

Leorio walked to the bar and grabbed a bottle of wine, and two glasses. Barely seconds later he grabbed his first aid kit too.

"I'll talk to him." he said.

* * *

"Here." Leorio walked over the pieces of broken brick that now littered the porch, extending his hand to Hisoka who was sitting on the old couch, staring into space. The wall of Aada and Leorio's house now sported a sizeable hole, and blood was dripping from Hisoka's knuckles onto the wooden deck.

The magician nodded, took the glass of wine with his uninjured hand and drank it all at once. He looked distressed, such a bizarre look on a face that Leorio mostly associated with a mocking smile. He seemed calmer though, which was already a big improvement. The doctor said nothing and refilled the glass.

"I'm not going to yell at you." He said, seeing Hisoka's questioning gaze and then shook his head disbelievingly, putting the bottle and his own glass on the balustrade.

"It's the second time in the span of few days I have to patch you up, and this time I didn't even have to do anything to hurt you." He opened the first aid kit, and took Hisoka's hand, only mildly surprised the magician let him do so without protest.

"You know she would never have done that if she had another choice." He said as he started to clean Hisoka's knuckles with saline. "She did what she had to, and you can't blame her for that."

"I don't."

"Good." Nothing more needed to be said. They both knew who he blamed.

"When you left, Kurapika said you'd be back. So did Gon. It made me so angry…" Admitted Leorio as he put a fresh bandage on Hisoka's hand. "I didn't believe that you…

He paused.

"Point is, now I do." He said eventually. He knew Hisoka understood what he meant, but still said nothing.

"You're not good at calling things by their name, are you?" he sighed, and Hisoka averted his gaze. "That's fine. I guess… What I wanted to say is that I won't try to talk her out of it anymore. I am willing to give you the benefit of a doubt, just… help me get her back. Please."

"I feel lost." Admitted Leorio. "I asked Kurapika to get us tickets. I know we have to get there, but beyond that… I try, and I come up blank."

"I know what I need to do." Hisoka said, looking towards the forest. Given the situation and how he acted before, he sounded remarkably calm.

"Good." Leorio nodded. "Just… whatever it is, don't die, Hisoka."

The magician's brows arched as he looked back at the doctor.

"I thought you weren't my biggest fan, Leorio." He attempted to joke, but then his head hung low.

"I still don't like you." Replied Leorio. "I probably never will. I'm not sorry I hit you; I'd do it again. But you can't die."

"I don't intend to." Hisoka got up and stretched. "Leave me alone for now. I'll join all of you shortly and explain."

* * *

Soon enough, all five of them were sitting at the kitchen table, discussing potential strategy in light of Chrollo's ultimatum.

"I don't know how many spiders Chrollo will have with him." Said Hisoka calmly. "We now know it's at least two, though we don't know who it may be. With Pakunoda's death, there are only two females left in the troupe, meaning it's either Machi or Shizuku with him now, and someone else. It takes long to gather all of the Troupe, so I doubt it could be many more, but for the little time we have you need to study the abilities of all of them, and think how you can counter them when I take care of Chrollo. They're not likely to make much of a commotion during the fight as it's in a public place and may be filmed – but you need to be prepared anyway. I'll take notes for you of all I know, and Kurapika will add everything he's managed to learn thanks to his Nostrade family connections."

Kurapika nodded in agreement, but then bit his lip before speaking, choosing his words carefully.

"Hisoka, I know how strong you are. However… if we create a proper distraction, I can bind him with the judgement chain again. Won't it be more sensible than you facing him?"

"No." Hisoka's response was immediate and his gaze hardened. "I will kill him. But in an unlikely event that something happens to me, I need someone reliable to carry out the rest of the plan.

"Next to me, you are the strongest person here." He continued. "And now Chrollo knows you'll be with me, and may have taken precautions."

"What do you want me to do then?" asked Kurapika.

"You'll be in charge of neutralizing the other spiders. Basically, tell the others what to do according to how the events unfold."

"What about Aada?" asked Leorio impatiently. "If Kurapika is the one you rely on, shouldn't he retrieve her as you fight, and we will take care of the spiders?"

Hisoka shook his head.

"No." he said firmly, looking at Kurapika. "You still can't control yourself around them, can you? And you wouldn't forgive yourself if it happened when she was around."

Kurapika slowly nodded in agreement, his eyes downcast.

"Who will do it then?" asked Gon. "Should we call Bisky? Or maybe Knuckle and Shoot? And Palm? They're all strong. We could use their help."

"We don't have enough time. Besides, even if we could, if we brought too many, he could withdraw." Said Hisoka. "Then little… Aada would have to stay with him for much longer before he prepared his other move against me. I won't have it."

Then he smiled for the first time since he's returned.

"That won't be necessary anyway. I have already made necessary preparations." He added, taking his phone. He selected a number and set the loudspeaker on. Four pair of eyes looked at him questioningly as they were waiting for the connection.

"Hisoka." An impassive voice filled the room. "I'm assuming you're bothering me because of the contract we've agreed upon. Barely minutes ago, if I may add."

Killua's eyes widened.

"Brother!" he exclaimed, surprised, and then looked at Hisoka angrily.

"You wouldn't trust Kurapika, but you would trust _him_?! Last time you two met, it cost you your eyesight. What if he hurts Aada this time?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Kil." Illumi's tone didn't change. "Hisoka and I agreed upon my terms. My services have been paid for, and as you know, they don't come cheap. I am a professional, and will honour my contract, as I always do."

"Hisoka is right. Illumi is well suited for this, Killua." Said Kurapika. "He can disguise himself as someone else and is highly skilled. He has the biggest chance of all of us to get Aada away from the spiders unharmed."

"Correct." Confirmed the disembodied, impassive voice on the phone. "That is my contract. Make sure Aada Holme is safe, and keep her that way until Hisoka and Chrollo's fight is over."

They discussed their strategy in more details for about thirty minutes before Illumi disconnected.

"I understand now." Said Killua. "Chrollo has used my brother's services in the past. Not only did you enlist a skilled nen user to help us, but you also prevented it from happening again. Given their past, my father and grandfather would not be likely to work with him either. Still…"

Killua looked at the magician and chuckled.

"I didn't know you were that rich."

Hisoka balanced the phone on his index finger, using a little bit of his aura to make it spin as he was deep in thought. He never cared much for money or other material possessions, driven only by his desire to find and fight strong opponents, to manipulate others to his enjoyment. His multiple fights at the Heavens Arena had only one underlying purpose – to sate this desire, the money he gained being only a byproduct of his bloodlust. He never thought he might have the need for what he'd accumulated over the years, but now considered it well spent. He trusted Illumi's professionalism and the reputation he needed to uphold, which made him someone he could rely on.

He looked to his left, and saw Leorio, Gon and Killua hovering behind Kurapika's seat, discussing animatedly and felt stunned that he could rely on more than Illumi, that all of them wanted to help him, even if it was only for Aada's sake. It was good; this time he'd want to make sure his chances of success were as high as possible. He wouldn't lose.


	27. Come To Me

**Come to Me**

He never noticed how many shapes the clouds had, never paid attention. He was watching them from the airship window, floating, morning sun filtering through, painting them silver, gold, yellow; they were ethereal, beautiful in their ghost-like quality. He never thought he'd crave anything peaceful in his life, but now he wanted to feel warmth by his side, head resting on his shoulder, sound of calm, even breathing of sleep. Instead, he heard ice cubes clinking in a glass and felt a familiar presence.

"What are you doing?" asked an impassive voice he knew well.

"Cloud watching." Hisoka turned towards Illumi and took the glass from his hand.

"Why do something so pointless?"

"It's not pointless. I suppose…" he paused, "Somebody taught me it's good to feel small sometimes. To gain perspective."

"You're talking about that woman I'm supposed to protect.

"She's changed you." Added Illumi when Hisoka didn't answer. "I'm not sure I like it."

"She hasn't." replied Hisoka, "Just uncovered more of what was already there. And I never asked for your opinion."

Illumi leaned towards Hisoka above the table.

"I've never thought I'd have to tell you the same thing I've been telling Killua for a while. We are killers. Attachments are unnecessary. Friends will eventually betray you. She will betray you too."

Hisoka's aura flared angrily, enveloping Illumi and causing gasps and whispers all around them. The assassin remained unperturbed.

"Save that for Chrollo." He said. "You're drawing too much attention."

The magician inhaled and exhaled slowly, his bloodlust subsiding.

"Which Spiders do you think gave him abilities?" asked Illumi, changing the subject.

"He's smart, so probably not Franklin, Bonolenov or Feitan." Replied Hisoka. "Franklin's would cause too much collateral damage, even for Chrollo. It's terribly boring too. Bonolenov's is too large scale and even Chrollo wouldn't be able to copy it without body modifications. And Feitan's… Feitan's wouldn't be too efficient against me."

"Is that so?" asked Illumi, a hint of curiosity to his normally bored tone, but the only answer he got was a smug smile. "Is there any ability you know of you particularly don't want him to have I wonder?"

The smile was gone in an instant. The magician nodded.

"Yes. But not because he could use it against me."

Illumi's head tilted to the side, but he didn't press for an answer when Hisoka did not elaborate. For a while, he sipped from his own glass.

"I will fully observe the contract." He said eventually, "But so must you. When you go after the Spider, my brother is off limits."

"Yes, yes." Hisoka waved his hand absentmindedly.

"I'm serious, Hisoka. If you harm my brother, you know who I will go after first."

Hisoka controlled his bloodlust this time, but his hand closed on Illumi's wrist and he pulled the assassin closer.

"Never say that again." He said, his voice absolutely calm. "Or you'll see firsthand just how much I haven't changed."

"Fine." Illumi relaxed back into his seat when Hisoka released him.

"Good." Hisoka turned back towards the window, hoping the clouds would distract him from what he didn't want to think about.

* * *

Aada opened her eyes to find herself in an unfamiliar place, sick and tired of losing consciousness. She frowned, her eyes watering. Something was different. The room was bright, so she hadn't been taken back underground. She was lying on a rather large bed, and the light was coming from a huge window beside it. The furniture and the way the space was organized made her think she was in a hotel room, and possibly quite an expensive one. What was the strangest was the fact that everything looked less hazy, though her eyes were irritated. Carefully, she raised her hand to her face.

"Don't." said a female voice. "The sensation should pass soon."

Aada's head turned towards the voice and she gasped in surprise; she didn't notice when the woman entered, but what surprised her even more was that although the stranger was standing on the other side of the room, she could see her face clearly. She stole a quick glance at the night table; her glasses were there. She wasn't imagining things.

"What happened to me?" she asked carefully.

The newcomer tilted her head slightly, as if Aada's question was silly.

"I fixed your eyes when you were unconscious."

Aada observed the woman carefully. She was short, slim, and looked quite girlish and young with her sharp chin, turned-up nose, big, blue eyes and an unruly mane of pink hair. Her voice was high pitched and girlish as well. Aada thought she was very pretty, though she might be beautiful if her face didn't have that blank expression. Given what happened, it didn't take her long to understand who the stranger was.

"Machi." She said.

"Yes?" The pink-haired spider showed no surprise at being called by her name, keeping her blank expression and bored, even tone.

"How did you know how to fix my eyes?" asked Aada, feeling absolutely surreal, as though she were dreaming.

"Oh. This." Machi brought up her phone as she walked to the bed and showed the screen to the doctor, then touched it. The phone replayed a video of a laser eye surgery and Aada felt a shiver run down her spine. Machi was exceptionally talented to have performed such a procedure successfully, without controlling the subject's eyesight as she went on, and using nen and her instincts instead of a laser, but she could've rendered her blind just as easily.

As she was trying to come to terms with what happened, she noticed that she felt clean; also, she wasn't wearing her old clothes, instead, she was dressed in a dark green dress. Aada did not wear dresses often and immediately felt uncomfortable, tugging at the hem of her new garment; it was too short for her liking – the straight, loose skirt reached mid-thigh; the bodice hugged her figure tightly, showing off more cleavage than she was used to and equally tight sleeves reached just before her elbows.

"Did you do that too?" asked Aada, motioning to the dress.

"Yes." Confirmed the impassive, bored voice and Aada breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why?" She asked her next question. She wasn't going to thank one of the Spiders, but Machi didn't seem like she was expecting it.

"Danchou asked me to." Explained Machi.

"Danchou?" Aada frowned. "Oh. You mean Chrollo."

She shivered slightly. She didn't enjoy saying his name, even less now when he found her and brought her back.

"Don't call him that. It's too casual. Disrespectful." For the first time, Machi's face wasn't entirely impassive. It looked annoyed, angry even, and Aada suddenly felt a similar emotion, though for very different reasons.

"I will call him any damn way I please." She spat. "And currently, 'bastard' is in the lead."

Oh, now she's done it. The petite woman in front of her looked ready to tear her head off, but suddenly she visibly relaxed and took a few steps back.

She must've heard it before Aada – the sound of footsteps, then the door opened and Chrollo stepped in. Aada sat up quickly and pressed her back against the headboard, her fists clenching on the duvet. He looked different, probably since they were in a place where he could be recognised, but maybe just to confuse her further. She didn't know anymore. She observed him carefully, once again amazed by the ease with which he managed to wear his masks. A simple, white button up shirt with sleeves rolled up, tucked into a pair of black, slim jeans. Hair no longer slicked back, but slightly mussed, framing his face just like that night she met him, the tattoo on his forehead no longer present. An imitation of Kuro, looking less dangerous and younger than Chrollo Lucilfer, the earrings being the most recognizable element that connected them.

"I really prefer 'Kuro'." He said, looking at Aada. She must've spoken her mind louder than she thought. He seemed amused.

"Did everything work as planned?" he asked Machi, but he kept looking at Aada.

"Yes, danchou."

"Good." He nodded in thanks. "You may leave, Machi."

"No! Don't go, please!" Aada couldn't stop the irrational cry that left her lips. How stupid of her, she thought immediately. Not only was Machi part of the Spider, Aada has just antagonised her by offending someone she greatly respected. Indeed, all the woman did was to look at her impassively before turning her gaze to Chrollo.

"As you wish, danchou." She said, and left the room.

Aada bit her lip and closed her eyes. Machi. A woman who Hisoka held in such high regard, a woman she had been jealous of and also admired when she'd heard of her amazing nen abilities, and now had been subjected to them herself. A woman who saw nothing wrong with another woman being held prisoner, no qualms about leaving her alone with her captor. She seemed completely apathetic, only focused on doing whatever Chrollo asked of her. Aada thought bitterly that if this was the kind of woman that Hisoka was attracted to, anything that could have been between them was doomed from the start.

She heard footsteps; soon enough she felt a cool hand touching her and lifting her chin up.

"I remembered this colour looked good on you." Chrollo said calmly. "Open your eyes."

Aada bit her lip again and slowly did as he asked.

"There." He looked pleased. "Isn't it better to see everything clearly?"

If he was expecting gratitude, he would get none.

"Silent treatment?" The corner of his mouth twitched. "I brought you something to eat and drink."

He put a bag he was carrying on the table and took out a covered, disposable cup of coffee, some fruit and croissants.

"I'm not hungry." Aada lied, "And I don't want anything from you."

"Hunger strike?" Chrollo grabbed an apple and bit into it. Juice dripped down his chin; he wiped it off and then licked his fingers clean, all the time looking at her intently. "You know it's pointless.

"Eat." He handed her the apple, his gaze suddenly hard. "Eat, or I'll make you."

Aada accepted the fruit with a shaky hand. She took a few small bites; her body was not listening to her – she could barely chew on it and swallow.

"That's better." He said and sat next to her.

Aada immediately moved as far from him as possible. The apple fell to the floor with a thud, a sound that seemed surprisingly heavy.

"Don't come any closer." She said, feeling beyond pathetic. As if he'd listen.

"You didn't seem to mind me being much closer only yesterday," he replied mockingly. "I must admit I enjoyed that side of you."

Aada's eyes widened in surprise.

"You can't be serious." She said quietly. "We're not talking about this."

"As you wish, for now. But it was that surprising aggressiveness of yours that in consequence made me find you."

"You traced me somehow." She said disbelievingly. "How? Leorio told me all living beings have nen, but mine is not awakened and as such I don't believe it should be traceable among thousands of others."

Then it clicked. Oh. How unbelievably stupid and careless she had been. And how cocky.

"You traced your own nen. The blood."

Chrollo nodded.

"I have to admit you impressed me." He said. "You truly didn't need to – I was already quite fond of you, as I mentioned to your friends when you were unable to continue the conversation."

Something in Aada snapped.

"Stop it!" she raised her voice. "Stop the act… I see now that I failed and I can't get away from you, just… just leave me a shred of dignity and leave me alone!"

In a split second, Chrollo's hand was on her throat, tightening, making it increasingly harder to breathe.

"You will stop telling me what to do." Unlike her, he didn't raise his voice, but the coldness of it arrested her movements. Gasping for air, Aada was struck by the thought that Chrollo's moods could change just as fast as Hisoka's, a dangerous trait that only added to the unpredictability of both of them. For someone not proficient in nen, getting caught in between could prove fatal, and she sincerely hoped it wasn't the case today.

Chrollo leaned into her, his mouth brushing her ear.

"In less than two days, Hisoka will be here, and he'll die." He said, and Aada felt tears falling from the outer corners of her eyes, she didn't know if from fear or the slow asphyxiation. "I've already set my plan in motion… but I feel I could use more practice with one of the abilities I've prepared for him. It's still pretty new to me."

He released his hold on Aada's throat and she started wheezing, but almost immediately cried out, feeling a sharp, stabbing pain in the side of her neck. Chrollo pulled away and she frantically scrambled off the bed and into the farthest corner of the room possible. He observed her curiously, and then took some small object out of his pocket. It looked like a small, winged phone, but Aada couldn't care less. She could feel blood trickling down her neck. She quickly raised her hand, a motion so ingrained in her it worked even in her current state, not to get rid of the object at first but to assess the damage.

Chrollo smirked, whispered something she couldn't hear and brought the device closer to his lips.

"Don't touch the antenna in your neck." He said clearly. Aada felt her hand freeze millimetres from the foreign object and then it fell limply to her side. She looked at him, shocked.

"It's a wonderful ability." Said Chrollo. "I borrowed it from one of my associates in the Troupe, but as I made some minor adjustments, I'm still getting used to it. Let's test it some more, shall we?

"Now," he spoke into the phone again, "Come to me."

Chrollo's voice was silky smooth, as if nothing happened. Aada tried to resist, but to no avail. He was showing her a whole new level of applying nen; she now understood that somehow whatever he was saying into the strange phone transmitted directly to the antenna in her neck, forcing her to obey. As she unwillingly walked towards Chrollo, Aada was experiencing a new kind of fear, a terror of not having any control over her body. She stopped in front of him. His hand tangled in her hair as he slowly uncovered her neck.

"Let me clean it for you." he said. "Don't move."

He reached into the bag and took out a gauze and a bottle of antiseptic, and Aada understood he came wanting to exact this very scenario. To practice on her, as though she were a mannequin. A dress rehearsal. His mind worked efficiently, not tainted by emotions and she could probably find it impressive if it didn't scare her so much.

"Stay quiet. Don't wince, it will be over in a minute." He whispered another command into the phone and proceeded to clean the side of her neck, occasionally brushing against the antenna.

It hurt every time he did, but Aada's face remained expressionless as instructed, her fear only growing. She thought she had felt helpless before in her life, however in all the trying situations in her past she was the one choosing how to react; now Chrollo has taken it from her. She felt like a puppet, and she understood that if Chrollo managed to gain the same level of control over Hisoka, the magician would stand no chance. He would die. She struggled to concentrate despite her fear, trying to find a calm, empty place in her mind that she'd sometimes practiced entering before difficult procedures, but this time it proved rather elusive.

"Lll… lemmmeee go." She managed, feeling as though her lips and tongue were made of lead.

Chrollo's eyes met hers.

"I keep underestimating you, don't I?" he said. "I didn't use enough nen, and you are hardly an average person."

He looked pensive, as if cataloguing the information.

"I'll need to think how much to use on him." He added, and suddenly Aada felt crushing pressure.

"Take my hand." He ordered, and this time no amount of concentration could prevent her from helplessly watching her fingers tightening on his.

"That wasn't so difficult, was it?" Chrollo got up, pulling her with him, and led her to the table.

"Sit down and eat." He said and Aada's body obeyed. She felt a bizarre detachment as she watched her hands feed her, felt her teeth bite and chew, her throat swallow, all without her willing it, as though she were floating inside a suit that didn't belong to her.

"That's enough." As soon as he said that her hands stopped, a piece of a croissant falling to the table. "Now, follow me."

Chrollo retrieved a box from one of the closets and led Aada back to the bed, making her sit against the headboard.

"Don't move." He sat next to her, took a pair of boots out of the box and smirked.

"I know you prefer flats," he said and looked right at her. "Really, don't you find it ridiculous that you fell for a psychopath who wears make up and high heels?"

Aada wouldn't know what to say even if his control wasn't preventing her from speaking. She was too shaken by being touched without permission yet again as Chrollo's fingers closed on her left ankle, brushing her skin for what seemed way too long before slipping the boot on, the black leather reaching mid-calf. He repeated his movements with her right leg, unhurriedly, looking at her as if he was savoring the control he had over her.

"Almost ready." He said, pulled her off the bed, walked her through the room and sat her down in front of a mirror on top of a vanity.

Chrollo ran his fingers through Aada's hair and brushed them, clearly intent on continuously breaking the boundaries she wanted to keep intact. She wanted to hit him, she wanted to yell at him; but now she could only see her own face staring back at her impassively as he gathered her hair in a loose bun and secured it with pins. Now she could see the needle sticking out of her neck; it was smaller than she expected, slim, silvery, with a red, round head.

"We can't have you walking around like that, can we?" asked Chrollo and to Aada's horror he took out another needle from his pocket.

His fingers tangled in her hair again and seconds later she felt a stabbing pain when the second antenna bit into her skin. Chrollo inspected his handiwork in the mirror, turning Aada around in the chair. The new antenna was completely concealed in her hair, and with a small, satisfied smile he retrieved the one in her neck, causing several drops of blood to trail lazily down her skin. He gathered them with his finger and licked it, and she sat still, watching, unable to do or say anything.

"Now, there's one last thing I want to test out with you… My associate said he didn't use it often.

"I want to see if I can control mind as well as body." Chrollo said, carefully observing Aada's eyes, the only outlet she had to show emotion. They were fixed on him, terrified and pleading, reflecting fear of someone who's always relied on their mind and never truly lost control. "I'm not sure I'll have an opportunity to use it on Hisoka, but I should be prepared nonetheless, and I'm curious. Aren't you? You are a scientist, after all. You like pushing boundaries just as much as I do."

"We'll try planting a suggestion." He continued, as though they were both equal, consenting partners in the experiment. "I have planned my fight with Hisoka well, but wouldn't it be much easier and faster if I simply made him kill himself?"

"What shall we try with?" he asked, eyes sparkling with curiosity as he leaned towards Aada, his fingers brushing her cheek. "Oh, I know. You said before that Hisoka didn't care about you and you didn't care about me… We already know the former is true, but let's test the latter."

Frantically, Aada tried to put up any kind of mental barrier, desperate, knowing that without active use of nen she stood no chance. Everything seemed to blur, and faced with the continuous, insistent waves of Chrollo's whisper, her mind bent, gradually submerging in what felt like thick mist.


	28. Can't Say No To You

**Can't Say No To You**

"I'm glad you made me take a few days off." Aada said to the man walking beside her.

"Of course," he replied, "You're way too hardworking for your own good."

"And you're too reserved." Aada sighed but when she felt him take her hand, she squeezed it gently and smiled at him. How long has it been… a year since she'd met him? He has always seemed a bit unaccustomed to touch, hasn't he?

"Where do you want to go first?" he asked.

"Hmmm. Bookstore, I think." Replied Aada.

"I knew you were going to say that."

"You know me well." Aada winked at him and picked up her pace, dragging him behind her.

"Not so fast." He stopped, pulled her into an embrace and kissed her. It surprised Aada, he wasn't one for public displays of affection, but she wasn't going to complain.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it." She said when she eventually pulled back, slightly out of breath.

"I'm glad I can surprise you." He replied, and kissed her again.

After they finally reached the bookstore, they spent more than two hours inside. It didn't surprise Aada in the least; after all, they both loved books. Eventually she found several tomes she wanted and one she knew he'd appreciate – an anthology of the most famous paintings of Yorbian school and their history; but as she wanted to pay for them, her brows furrowed in confusion.

"I could swear I had my wallet with me." She said quietly, going through the pockets of the coat she was wearing. The coat seemed new too, she couldn't recall when she bought it.

"You must've left it in our hotel room." He said, approaching from behind her. "Here, let me pay for these."

"But I wanted to get this one for you as a gift; you shouldn't be paying for it." Aada said, unhappy that her forgetfulness spoiled the surprise.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure we can find a way for you to repay me later." He whispered in her ear, causing a pleasant shiver.

"Oh, I can't wait." She whispered back.

Feeling much better, Aada let him take her hand and lead her to a nearby café. They found a nice booth in the corner and ordered. Once again, Aada got slightly surprised when he pulled her in his lap after their coffee arrived. She loved the long, lazy stretch of time that followed; they were both engrossed in their new books, sipping their coffee, listening to the quiet hum of the music inside the café and rain patting on the window.

"Are you not bored?" he asked after some time.

"You know I'm not." Aada pressed a lingering kiss to his temple. "I love spending time with you. And this… it feels peaceful. I really enjoy it."

She closed her book and put her arms around him, nuzzling her face in his neck, but quickly was struck by something that felt out of place.

"Did you change your cologne?" she asked. "You smell different."

"Yes. I felt this one suited me better." He replied almost immediately. "You don't like it?"

"No, it's not that…" said Aada a bit hesitantly. "It's just new and I'm not used to it, but I'm sure in time I'll love it just like the old one. After all, it's still you."

"Of course." He put his own book down and stroke Aada's hair, making her relax. "Who else would I be?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Aada put her head back on his shoulder. For some reason, she really missed the earthy, smoky qualities and the sweet, underlying note in the scent she remembered, but after a while she was content to just sit there and listen to the rain.

"Shall we go?" he asked when it stopped raining. "Or did you change your mind after all?"

"I…" she couldn't remember what it was that she could change her mind about.

He flicked her on the nose.

"Your new tattoo." He said. "Did you forget? You wanted to have it done today."

"Oh yes… I did, didn't I?" replied Aada, frowning slightly. She still hasn't managed to catch up on sleep, it must have slipped her mind. Should anything this important slip her mind? "Well, let's go then."

They found a tattoo parlor relatively quickly, and her mind seemed a bit hazy again. She couldn't remember what kind of tattoo she wanted. Something felt wrong, but she didn't want to say anything aloud. It was their first time away together, she didn't wish for anything to ruin it. Fortunately, it looked like she had sent the design to him via e-mail, and he printed it out for her, no doubt knowing how forgetful she was. He even held her hand throughout the procedure; she must've done something right in the past to deserve a doting boyfriend like him.

Aada felt relaxed as they were walking back to the hotel, hand in hand. They were close to the Heaven's Arena now, and she could see some posters on the walls. She stopped in front of one out of curiosity and looked at it more closely. Suddenly, she felt as though a jolt of electricity shot through her. She knew one of the men in the poster, but the other one, he looked so eerily familiar though she could swear she'd never met him. His face, eyes, hair, even his posture and the clothes he was wearing; it seemed to her that they were somehow ingrained in her mind, but she didn't know why. There was a name under the photo and she read it aloud, fighting a strong sense of déjà vu, like she'd said it many times before. She doubled over, her head felt as if it was about to split in half. Next thing she knew she was being lifted off the ground.

"My head…" she could barely speak through the pain. "It hurts so much."

"It's ok." She heard a whisper. "I'll take you back to our room now."

He was so fast; they were back in the hotel room within minutes and through the haze of her now dull headache Aada wondered if the skill he'd just used always made her feel slightly queasy. He helped her lie down and covered her with a blanket.

"That man…" she said quietly, "That man on the poster… I feel like I know him. Or like I should. I don't know why, it's such a strange feeling."

Her boyfriend leaned towards her.

"But you don't know him, do you?" he whispered and Aada felt pressure in her temples. "You don't know him."

"Right…" Her brow furrowed for a second. "I don't… Why was your face there too?"

"Mine?" he sounded surprised. "You were probably confused due to the headache.

"Speaking of which… How is it?"

"Oh? It's better…" she replied, surprised. "It's gone."

"I'm glad to hear that." He got on the bed next to her, his back against the headboard.

Aada moved closer to him and snuggled into his side. He held her close now and she basked in that closeness, her body succumbing to a relaxed, pleasant vibe.

"I believe I owe you for paying for all these books." She purred.

"Are you sure?"

Aada grabbed the collar of his shirt in response and pulled him down. Her fingers tangled in his dark hair, trying to get as close as possible as she kissed him. She then reached blindly to unbutton his shirt and when she couldn't, she pulled at it, the upper part ripping open, buttons flying across the room, and she felt him smile against her lips. He pulled away slightly, his forehead against hers.

"So impatient." He said. "It's flattering."

His hand slid up her thigh, underneath the dress. Aada shivered slightly and welcomed the warm touch on her skin and then the weight on top of her.

She looked up into the dark eyes, now unmoving, fixed on her, and without any warning, the splitting headache returned. That other face kept flashing underneath her eyelids, golden eyes, long nose, full lips, wildly red hair, star and tear painted on his cheeks. She couldn't remember the name of the man she was with at the moment, but remembered that other one, the one she wasn't supposed to know. Hisoka.

Aada screamed in pain; her muscles stiffened, her back trying to arch off the bed in spasms, only the added weight of the body on top of her holding her in place. She fought to relax but instead felt something warm on her upper lip. Automatically, her tongue darted out to taste it and she grimaced at the unmistakeable, coppery taste of blood. It was flowing from her nostrils and wouldn't stop, and coupled with the headache it made her panic.

"What's happening to me?" she asked frantically, her hand grabbing a fistful of his now open shirt.

He sighed.

"Really, what poor timing... But I don't want to kill you."

"Kill me? What are you talking about?" scared and confused, Aada didn't register his hand reaching behind her head, his fingers raking through her hair.

"There." he said, pulling something out. It looked like a needle. Was it her hairpin? "Calm down."

Aada looked through him, wide eyed, feeling out of herself, somewhere in between.

"Headache, nosebleed… Cold, anemia, sinus infection, overdose, hypertension, congenital heart disease, leukemia, brain tumor." Her voice was automatic, robotic, devoid of emotion.

"Calm down."

"Blood pressure. Ultrasound. X-ray. Blood test. MRI." At this point, she didn't even know what she was saying.

"Aada." She felt cool touch on her cheeks, hands holding her face, wiping off the blood. "You're not sick. Calm down."

Her gaze regained focus and she looked at the face above her.

"Kuro." She said softly, relieved she remembered his name, hand reaching up to touch him, and then freezing mid-way as she fully recognised who she was with.

"Get off me!" her hands balled into fists as she tried to hit him and push him away at the same time. Hands grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head.

"Stop thrashing." Chrollo released her and lay beside her, then pulled her closer, her back pressed against his chest, one of his arms around her neck. Aada tried to pry it off, claw at it, but he wouldn't budge and finally her body went limp, a hopeless puppet with its strings now cut.

"Why did do that to me?" she asked sadly. "Do you hate me so much? Did you want to break me? Would that feel good?"

"No to all three." He replied calmly. "I wanted to experiment, and I'd say it went well.

"You shouldn't have been able to remember anything but what my suggestion placed in your head." He continued, "But you remembered quite a lot of details I tried to suppress. From what my associate told me, in rare cases it happens, it usually drives the subject mad or makes them completely unresponsive. Permanently."

"And you still did that, fully knowing what could happen to me." Aada couldn't even summon strength to shake her head. Hopeless. Everything was hopeless. He could do anything he wanted – kill her, break her, and she simply wasn't strong enough to stop him.

"I trusted you were strong enough."

Aada laughed upon hearing this, a short, bitter laugh.

"Bullshit. You almost lobotomized me with nen to satisfy your curiosity."

"I spoke truthfully. You have a remarkable control over your mind. Have you ever thought about learning how to use your nen? You have great potential."

"Nen?" she said disbelievingly, "I want nothing to do with nen, or with you."

"Are you sure about that last part?" Chrollo's breath tickled her neck, unnerving her even more. "I've been in your head; right now there's no one in the world that knows you better than I do… but let's leave it for now.

"So much perseverance you needed after they died, leaving you so young, alone." He whispered. "I know exactly how alone feels.

"'No one to help, but I don't need anyone', that's what you thought, holding a white rose, so hard until the thorns made you bleed. You were right."

"Stop." Aada said quietly. "Stop, please."

"There are so many ideas swirling inside your head it's dazzling, but you have enough talent to back them up." Chrollo brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, completely ignoring her plea. "You knew the one who died held you back. You knew he was trying too hard to save you, when there was no need to do so. You wished he died faster, so he wouldn't suffer. So much unnecessary despair afterwards. You shouldn't waste energy on such feelings.

"I don't understand that burning need of yours… the need to be loved, so strong you'd go so far as to love someone like Hisoka."

"Don't."

"He. Does. Not. Love. You." It sounded as if Chrollo was pushing each word in her ear separately, savoring its taste.

"I know. Neither do you."

"True." He replied. "I don't. But love is not a requirement for mutual understanding, or pleasure. I know you used to apply that rule. I've seen it."

"If you've seen it, you must've also understood I didn't truly enjoy it."

"Yes." Chrollo's index finger brushed lazily along her side, stopping at her hip. "That's it, isn't it? Under that powerful intellect, perseverance, courage, there's still this abandoned sixteen year old, craving for someone to tell her they love her.

"Is that what you need?" Both his arms tightened around her. "Will that make you happy or disappoint you? I wonder… are just the words enough to finally leave that behind you?

"I love you." He said. "No, that didn't sound right, did it?"

"I love you. I love you." He repeated. "No, still not right.

"I love you." His mouth brushed her ear. This time he sounded absolutely sincere, a perfect liar. "Did that help?"

"Stop that!" Aada pleaded. "Stop dissecting me.

"What do you want from me?" she asked.

"Right now I'm not sure." He admitted. "But do I have to be? I like interacting with you, seeing how you react to various things and you like it too."

"I don't, and I never will."

"Oh, please. If you don't want to be honest with me, be honest with yourself. There is a part of you, a very small part, hidden very deep, and that part of you enjoys being close to me. I found it. So why not explore it? I don't mind you being next to me. And I can teach you how to use your nen. Who knows, maybe you'd be the one strong enough to kill me? Hisoka isn't."

Aada closed her eyes, trying to remain calm.

"You are baiting me to see how I'll react."

"What if I'm not?"

"Then you're delusional." She shook her head.

"Am I?" He smiled against her shoulder. "Or are you?"

He let go of her and got up.

"Get some sleep, we have a big day ahead of us." He said. "But before you do, make sure to wash that fresh ornament of yours. I'll be in the room adjacent to this one."

He left, and Aada suddenly remembered. She slowly raised her left hand, and tentatively touched the gauze dressing just below her wrist. The skin underneath felt slightly swollen, inflamed. She carefully took the dressing off and her eyes widened in shock. Finally, after all the time of trying to keep her cool, she snapped.

She ran for the door separating their rooms and tried opening it. It was locked, and she pulled at the handle, furious. She grabbed the nearest chair and hit it against the door, again, and again, until it broke.

"Open up!" she screamed, banging her fists against the unwanted obstacle. "I'll kill you!"

She heard a chuckle and it only infuriated her more. She grabbed another chair, and soon it shared the fate of the first one.

"Wouldn't that be against the vow you took?" Chrollo asked, and his almost playful tone maddened her. His voice sounded close – he was right behind the door. "I think it suits you really well. We agreed on a matching one, don't you remember?"

Aada saw red. She rarely lost control, but now found a shred of comfort in the sound of wood snapping and glass shattering. She finally exhausted herself and slumped against the wall, then onto the floor, heaving. She sat among splinters and broken glass, staring into space long into the night, until close to dawn helplessness, anger and despair finally lulled her to a shallow sleep. The first rays of the morning sun illuminated the dark, sharp outlines of Saint Peter's cross on her pale skin.

* * *

"Wake up."

Aada mumbled something unintelligible, ignoring the voice. She felt someone lifting her up and carrying her off somewhere. A few moments later a sound of running water started pulling her towards the reality of a new day, but she still resisted.

"Will you take a shower on your own or do you want me to help you?"

It took her sleep addled mind a long time to register the words, but when she did, she immediately pushed the one holding her away and fell to the floor, biting her lip when her hip hit the cold tiles.

"Don't touch me." She hissed, backing away into a corner like an alley cat cornered by a dog.

Chrollo sighed and shook his head.

"I wish you'd cease this routine." He said. "It's getting tiresome. Now, get ready. We need to go soon."

"Soon? But it's still…

"…evening." He finished the sentence for her. "You slept through the day."

"I did?" Aada seemed confused. "But that means… the fight…"

"Yes," he nodded in response. "In a few hours, you won't have to worry about Hisoka anymore."


	29. Devour

**A/N:** _SPOILER ALERT._

 _The fight in the upcoming chapter mostly follows what Togashi-sensei presented in the 2016 chapters of the manga, in the sense that Hisoka and Chrollo face off in the arena; I kept the battle mechanics close to what the author envisioned, though in a simplified version. Of course since the manga doesn't contain Aada, Hisoka's motivation included in my story differs from the original content._

* * *

 **Devour**

The Arena was buzzing with excitement in anticipation of the match, but it wasn't providing the usual pleasant chill to Hisoka. He looked at the audience, frantically searching for the one he wanted to see, not paying attention to the announcer's voice.

" _Ladies and Gentlemen! The first challenger in our floor master battle is also another floor master…"_

He couldn't care less. He briefly wondered how things have changed; he'd wanted to fight Chrollo for so long, but instead of the excitement he knew he'd have felt just months ago, he was overcome by hate and worry. Unwanted thoughts still plagued him, disrupting his concentration.

" _Allow us to introduce… Hisoka Morow versus Chrollo Lucilfer!"_

Chrollo entered the arena at a leisurely pace, and Hisoka's thoughts immediately gained focus.

 _Kill. Devour._

"Hisoka..." Chrollo's voice was mocking. "I don't mean to sound overconfident, but I'm sure I will win.

"And once I do…" he continued, "The opportunities are limitless… don't you think?"

Hisoka was aware that Chrollo only said that to throw him off balance, but he still couldn't help getting furious at the implications of his words.

"Having you chase after me all that time has grown really tiresome." Chrollo smiled. "So I suggest we fight to the death. I admit… I never thought the prize could be that enticing."

Silence fell upon the arena, as Hisoka kept searching the audience before responding. His eyes widened. There she was; Chrollo placed her in the third row, undoubtedly knowing it would limit Hisoka's movements as he would have to be careful not to hurt her. Their eyes met, and his mind was filled with one repeating thought as he felt the same pull like the day he left her behind.

 _Mine. Mine. Mine._

Aada looked scared, Shalnark's hand gripping her arm. Even from a distance Hisoka could notice an angry, dark red gash going down her neck, ending at her collarbone, and he felt his control waning again as he fought to suppress his aura. He looked back at Chrollo.

"Yes." He agreed. "To the death."

" _Unbelievable… agreed… deathmatch…"_ the announcer's words skimmed the surface of his mind that was filled with another insisting thought.

 _Illumi, hurry up._

"On both your honour and pride, fight!"

The referee's words caused Hisoka to smile bitterly. Honour. As if either of them had it. But pride, he had enough of it. The referee suddenly stiffened, unable to control his own movements.

"Black voice." Chrollo's lips widened in a mocking grin as he said the words, and Hisoka understood immediately.

The very reason why Chrollo was avoiding him for so long was to gather more abilities, and apparently he didn't hesitate to take some from his spiders. This one was Shalnark's ability – controlling another person by stabbing them with an antenna. This fight would prove troublesome; the Arena was Chrollo's choice, so he'd likely strategized in advance, putting Hisoka at a disadvantage. On the other hand, it meant that Shalnark, who was now guarding Aada, had no abilities left, making Illumi's job much easier. Hisoka inhaled deeply. He knew what Chrollo wanted to do – to distract him by using the referee, all the time trying to stick Shal's antenna into him. If he succeeded, it would be over.

Hisoka felt his anger flaring again, and wondered again at how his motivation has changed. In the past, he'd only fight to prove his strength, and defeat was an acceptable outcome if his opponent proved stronger. Not this time.

 _I can't lose. I won't._

Both Chrollo and the referee rushed towards him. Hisoka moved swiftly, avoiding the referee and making a quick move towards Chrollo, but the spider made a feint, and still managed to kick him to the ground. Hisoka countered quickly, expanding and contracting his bungee gum to get out of the way. He knew Chrollo would continue to use the referee as a shield, all the time trying to use the antenna. It was a sound tactic, but he wouldn't lose.

Suddenly, part of the referee's body exploded, almost catching the magician in the blast. Chrollo stood behind the man, his arms raised, the symbols of a crescent moon and a star appearing on his palms. Hisoka's eyes widened; Chrollo wasn't holding his book anymore.

"Sun and moon, the paired destroyers." Chrollo's voice sounded bored, but Hisoka knew better. He was excited, convinced he'd win.

"Such a beautiful ability." Continued Chrollo, looking at the referee's corpse indifferently. "I acquired it in Meteor City, from one of the elders. I killed him for it, but luckily, his resentment made it possible for his nen to linger after he died. I have to admit, it surprised me. And so now, I can affix these seals on whatever or whomever I want… and when they meet, they will result in an explosion, much like the one you've just witnessed. Once I use them, they will not disappear until they explode.

"Double face bookmark." Chrollo retrieved his book and looked at Hisoka intently.

"Are you sure you want to continue?" he asked, "Now I can access any ability from the book, even if it's closed, and I can combine them.

"Maybe you should rather leave her with me, hmmm?" he teased, "I'll take good care of her."

Hisoka snarled in response.

"Whatever you need to make you feel you can win. It won't help."

"Oh?" Chrollo smirked. "But don't you think it's wonderful? Now I can use one ability from the book, and still have both my hands free."

Hisoka bit his lip. Months ago, he'd only be excited to hear these words, but he wasn't in this fight for the excitement anymore, which was both a blessing, and a curse. On one hand, Chrollo's new range of abilities no longer held sway over him, but on the other hand he wanted to end this quickly, and he'd have to watch himself not to make a mistake, as with Chrollo it would undoubtedly prove fatal. In the past, he'd just immerse himself in the fight, reveling in the thrill, not minding the possibility of death.

"I'll introduce you to more abilities…" continued Chrollo. "Treat it as a compliment. I've never had to use this many to kill someone."

"I will enjoy bringing you to your knees." replied Hisoka calmly. "I'll enjoy hearing you say 'How can this be?' right before I kill you."

"Is that so?" Chrollo's annoying smirk returned. "Order stamp."

"Shal's ability lets me control people." He explained, "But this one allows me to control puppets. A great number of them."

"Gallery fake." Added Chrollo, and Hisoka's eyes widened. This was Kortopi's ability, he reminded himself, watching Chrollo create an exact copy of the referee. "He's dead, but I can still control his exact copy."

"Stand!" Chrollo raised his voice, and the copy obeyed. "Break Hisoka!"

Hisoka easily avoided the attack and gathered aura in his hand, hitting the puppet's neck with enough force to send its head rolling on the floor. Just as he suspected, it stopped its movements, but Chrollo seemed unperturbed. Suddenly, Hisoka felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. Three times. He smiled. Illumi was successful. Now, he could fully concentrate on Chrollo.

"Anything else you want to show me?" he asked.

"Mhmmm. Convert hands… Thanks to this ability, I can switch places with whomever I currently see, making me look like them. What happens if I change into her, Hisoka? Will you still attempt to kill me?"

Hisoka smirked, knowing that since Illumi succeeded, it was an empty threat.

"Correct. It will change nothing." he said, focused on Chrollo, forgetting that his words reverberated loud enough for everybody to hear, unable to see Aada who, now accompanied by Illumi, bit her lip and averted her eyes from the arena.

Chrollo chuckled.

"I told her you didn't care." He said. "Thank you for reconfirming that."

Hisoka cursed inwardly, realizing his mistake, but then shook his head. He couldn't worry about this now. Once he's killed Chrollo, he would fix this.

"You know why I took my time explaining all this to you, don't you, Hisoka?" asked the spider. "It only means I am absolutely confident you will die."

Hisoka jumped towards Chrollo, who avoided him and turned around to run, heading straight into the audience. The magician tried following him, only to be stopped by more puppets that Chrollo must have created in advance, blocking his line of sight. The Arena fell into a state of panic when what was supposed to be an exciting match turned into a fight for survival for both the combatants and the audience.

"… _Try to remain calm!... Don't rush to the door all at once!"_

Again, Hisoka barely registered the announcer's voice in his search for Chrollo, realizing he was in trouble as Chrollo apparently combined all abilities he described before. Suddenly, part of the puppet audience rushed towards him in a frantic attack, and the magician understood what would happen next.

 _They all know my name._

"Break Hisoka!" Chrollo's voice swept over the arena, enhanced by the microphone he apparently took from the announcer, before disappearing into the crowd yet again.

How much time did it take Chrollo to combine the abilities resulting in so many puppets? He strategized the whole battle in advance, and probably analyzed all the possible outcomes. Despite all the hate he felt, Hisoka had to admit that Chrollo had thought this through and his tactic was admirable. He jumped out of the way by attaching his bungee gum to the ceiling. He sensed a swoosh of air from behind him and moved quickly to the right, but Chrollo was fast enough to adjust to his reaction and still managed to hit him. After he landed on the floor, the magician had to counter multiple attacks, beheading countless puppets, all the time anticipating Chrollo's next move, decapitating the spider's puppets to prevent them from moving. Chrollo attacked him from above, and Hisoka moved swiftly using his bungee gum, avoiding the contact. He still managed to attach his gum to one of the heads, and hurled it at Chrollo, landing a strong hit that sent his opponent flying.

Hisoka stood on the arena, breathing deeply, enjoying a temporary reprieve from the puppets' attack. Chrollo stood in the distance, bloodied, now holding his accursed book.

" _Hisoka… counterattack…"_ the announcer's voice was starting to annoy him. He knew he was still at a disadvantage and had to end this as soon as possible. The puppets rushed at him with renewed vigor, making it possible for Chrollo to disappear once more. Hisoka cursed again. They wouldn't tire, while he, even given his enhanced stamina and experience, eventually would. He was running out of time. How many were left? Forty? Fifty? He'd have to dispose of all of them before getting to Chrollo. Troublesome, but doable. His mind worked quickly, analyzing potential combinations of Chrollo's abilities.

 _He'll dispel the stamp and make more copies, most likely while he's still on the move._

He realized that if Chrollo used convert hands again to transform into someone else, he'd have a hard time fighting off all the puppets and finding him. His eyes scanned the crowd, looking for his target.

 _There you are._

Hisoka hurled the head at Chrollo again and the spider narrowly avoided the hit. The magician smiled happily.

"Bungee gum, release."

Multiple puppets suddenly lost footing and all flew in Chrollo's direction, as the bungee gum Hisoka managed to connect them to the floor with suddenly disappeared. The magician's smile grew wider.

"Bungee gum, contract." He said.

Chrollo flew in his direction, having overlooked the moment when Hisoka's ability attached to him. The magician hurled the head at him again, hitting him hard. The spider's body crashed into the arena floor, bleeding profusely. Hisoka walked towards Chrollo, but as he reached him, his eyes widened in sudden understanding.

 _It's not him. When…?_

He looked around, but it was too late. The puppets swarmed him. In this moment, he understood with absolute certainty that he was going to die. The sudden emotions assaulted him in a flash of anger, sadness, and defiance. Before long, the arena was shaken by a massive explosion. It hurt, but the sheer number of the puppets cushioned him from most of it. Instead, he couldn't breathe, gasping for air and finding none as the crowd pushed on him relentlessly. Hisoka's eyelids fluttered, as a last thought crossed his mind, brief and bright like a shooting star.


	30. Dust to Dust

_**A/N:** Once again, a minor manga spoiler. I did change the course of action quite significantly, but one important Hisoka-related element remains unchanged. I hope you enjoy the new chapter!_

* * *

 **Dust to Dust**

The puppets controlled by Chrollo fell apart, many of them in pieces. Screams echoed through the audience, but Aada's ears were filled only with a low, overwhelming buzz. Everything slowed down, the colors faded along with the dust settling on the arena as she struggled to free herself, her eyes fixed on one motionless silhouette.

She turned around quickly, facing the one holding her back, noticing with a surprise that she was unconsciously gripping his arm, nails driving into his skin. Normally, like every other surgeon, she kept them short and blunt, but days of neglect made them long enough to leave angry, red welts in the pale skin. The man holding her didn't flinch, his face expressionless, but Aada did, letting go as if she got burned. She vaguely realized she should feel remorse for hurting someone, but her mind felt hazy, numb. She didn't even know who this man was.

When he had first appeared, she thought he was Machi and struggled against his hold. He came out of nowhere, snatching her out of Shalnark's grip, explaining he'd take her further away from the arena since danchou would be angry if she got hurt. When they moved away, Aada was shocked to see the pink haired woman transform into a tall, pale man with long, black hair. She didn't protest, considering any alternative better than staying with the spiders. He protected her during the chaos ensuing the clash between Chrollo and Hisoka; thanks to the speed and efficiency of his movements as well as his stunning transformation Aada was sure she was dealing with another nen user. Was he someone her friends asked for help? It didn't matter now.

"Let go of me. Now." She demanded, aware she was antagonizing somebody much stronger than she was. She didn't care.

"No." big, dark, empty eyes gazed back at her emotionlessly. "My contract states I need to keep you safe until all of this is over."

Contract? Aada's brow furrowed, as she quickly scanned her captor's figure, looking for leverage. Needles. There were so many needles embedded in his clothing; without thinking, she grabbed one and yanked it out, attempting to strike at him; she didn't want to hurt him, just cause a reflex to let go of her. She didn't hope it would work; he seemed impervious to pain, but she needed to do something, anything. Through her haze she registered the needle looked familiar, but didn't pay much attention to the stray thought as she attempted to strike. An iron grip on her wrist stopped her.

"Stop struggling."

"Please… You don't understand." Words spilled out of Aada's mouth, unwanted, but she couldn't stop them, not sure she was making any sense. "I could've killed him… I didn't. It's my fault. I have to go."

"Brother." Killua appeared next to the tall man and Aada suddenly understood. Illumi. Killua's older brother, the one the white haired boy avoided, the one that hurt Hisoka. How come he was here, protecting her? Was it Killua who asked him to do it?

Killua's voice was quiet and subdued as he in turn grabbed his brother's arm. "Let her go. Your contract is… Hisoka is… Please."

Illumi looked at him for a while, but to Aada's surprise, eventually he nodded and released her from his hold. As she ran down the stairs, not noticing the figures following her, she was trying to ignore the voice in the back of her head telling her that it was already too late, that the one she needed to save was beyond her reach.

She ran through the demolished arena floor and then fell to her knees, not registering the pain when the rubble cut into her skin, her mind automatically cataloguing the extent of Hisoka's injuries, forcefully pushing back the panic. He was missing all of the fingers on his left hand, his face was mutilated, his right foot had been completely blown off. All fingers in his right hand were embedded deep in his chest, as if he was trying to protect his heart. There were deep cuts littering his body, blood oozing out slowly, its unhurried flow indicating clearly that his heart had already stopped. Aada put her head on his chest anyway, desperately trying to find the sound of his heartbeat, and failing.

Her body reacted automatically; she pushed Hisoka's head back to clear his airways. She breathed air into his lungs; still not hearing the noise around her, she felt the metallic taste of his blood on her tongue. She placed her hand on top of the magician's sternum, then another on top of the first, fingers interlaced as she started pushing down with all the force she could muster. Her brows furrowed; something was amiss, as if there was a barrier in Hisoka's body preventing her from pressing down as strong she normally could. No matter. She wouldn't think about it now, she had to do the only thing she was able to.

 _One… two… three…_

Aada tried to find comfort in the well-known rhythm, but the thoughts came unbidden.

 _Don't you dare._

 _Four… Five… Six…_

 _I won't let you._

 _Seven… Eight…_

 _Not again…_

 _Eleven… Twelve…_

 _Wake up. Wake up, and I'll forgive anything you have done or might do, just…_

 _Nineteen… Twenty…_

 _...don't leave me… Please._

 _Twenty nine… Thirty…_

Aada lost track of time, as she kept forcing the air into Hisoka's lungs and pressing down onto his chest, trying to claw him back, refusing to accept that her most important battle was lost before she started it, not noticing the silence that now blanketed the almost empty arena.

"Aada…" a hand locked on her arm delicately, trying to pull her back. She slapped it away and tried to continue, only to be forcefully enveloped in an embrace that felt familiar.

"Please, stop." Said Leorio, his voice somber. "He's gone, love. He's gone."

"No." she shook her head. "No. Not him."

Leorio placed his chin on top of her head, rocking back and forth, trying to soothe her, feeling a horrible sense of injustice and irony as they were both reenacting a scene much similar to one that had happened once already. What was he supposed to say to her? He felt a familiar presence next to him and looked up at Kurapika, his eyes pleading.

"Your healing chain…" he said quietly. "Tell me it will work."

Kurapika bit his lip and shook his head, his eyes shining with tears.

"It won't, Leorio…" he whispered. "I only have the ability to heal, not to raise the dead. Even the healing works best on me, not on others."

Leorio held Aada closer.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Aada shook her head again and broke out of his embrace. On all fours, she went for the motionless figure on the floor, tears blurring her vision. Straining, she lifted Hisoka's upper body and placed his head in the crook of her neck. She embraced him, her cheek against his forehead. He never loved her, she knew that. He was either feared, or resented; was she the only one who cared about him? She hoped not; but if that was the case, even more so, this was exactly the place she needed to be.

"Hi-so-ka…" She whispered. "I'm here."

Aada's hair spilled from her pony tail, covering both her and the one she held on to. She closed her eyes, trying to remain calm, and failing. Hisoka's skin was gradually losing the warmth that she remembered so well; it wasn't right. To her, he was the embodiment of fire, of life force. This… this was wrong. Underneath the dirt and blood his scent lingered, earthy, smoky and sweet; an understanding suddenly dawned on her; she realized that after this day it would be gone forever. She'd only have to rely on memories.

She didn't feel strong enough anymore, and let her guard down. Emptiness, loss and grief all embraced her in turn, having waited patiently long enough. Aada could hear a strange noise, and only after a moment did she realize that the low, keening sound, akin to a howl, spiraling higher and higher, was her own voice, acknowledgement that the one she needed was truly gone. She was not aware of the many eyes watching her; she didn't care, locked in a bubble where no one could reach her. But they were watching - the Spiders and her friends, all of them having made their way to the arena floor, eyeing each other with distaste, but for a while not thinking of engaging into another confrontation, perhaps spellbound by Aada's grief, or simply wary of one another.

"I can…" an unsure, female voice brought Aada back to reality, "I'll put him back together, ok?"

Aada looked up, facing the pink haired Spider, whose expression was uncharacteristically soft. After a while, she slowly nodded, lowered Hisoka's body on the floor and let Machi fix his injuries, unsure why she did that. What good would it do, when he was gone? Still, she felt a shred of gratitude; she didn't want to remember him like this, torn and bloodied. Machi's hands moved with an almost blinding speed, but Aada felt too numb to notice or admire the sheer talent behind the skill. After a while, Machi withdrew.

"Is he really dead?" Chrollo's calm voice made Aada's head shoot up abruptly.

She barely registered Machi nodding in answer; her gaze was fixed on him, and suddenly she felt a wave of hate, a feeling that was alien, but welcome. It overwhelmed her, making her body tense. Her lips were drawn back in a furious snarl, the angry red of Hisoka's blood accentuating it even more in a grotesque imitation of a lipstick. Her field of vision narrowed only to the one she saw in front of her, as she got up and rushed towards him before anybody could stop her.

"I hate you!" she screamed, hitting and clawing at him blindly, knowing she couldn't really hurt him, but still trying to find an outlet for her pain. "I hate you!"

"Calm down." Chrollo seemed unfazed.

"Kuro..." the nickname she gave him sounded sad and hollow in her mouth; she lifted her head to look straight at him, fury giving way to cold and numbness as she suddenly felt so weary, empty. "I wish I had killed you back then."

"Are you sure?" Chrollo's voice was calm. His arms closed around her in a distortion, parody of a comforting gesture that made Aada feel nauseous. He pushed her head to rest on his shoulder, fingers tangling in her hair. "Shhhhh... Don't cry. You're better off without him, and deep down you know it."

"I hate you." Repeated Aada quietly, still trying to push him away, undeterred by the fruitlessness of her efforts. "I never want to see you again."

"You're a reasonable, rational person. I'm hoping you'll reconsider, given enough time."

"Wh… what?" Aada's eyes widened in disbelief as she continued her struggle to free herself from his grip. "You have what you wanted. You don't need me anymore."

"Oh?" Chrollo's lips curved in a smirk, "And what if I do?"

Aada felt bile rising in her throat and tried hitting him again, but despite the revulsion and anger fueling her, she couldn't break free. She knew now that in her grief she had been careless, and stupid. She should have run to her friends, not to this hollow, cold man who filled her with dread, who she couldn't even hurt after he took the life of the one she loved.

"Say your goodbyes." He added. "We're leaving. I will not end them; not today - consider it a good will gesture on my part."

"No! Let go of me!" she screamed. "Let me go!"

"No." By now, it was becoming hard for Aada to draw breath in his hold. "I'm not even close to being bored of you."

"Release her." Chrollo's head snapped to the left to meet Kurapika's eyes, now shining with a furious, crimson tint.

"Or what?" Chrollo turned Aada around, her back now pressed against his chest, his arm locked loosely around her neck. "You won't strike me now, or will you?"

Killua, Gon and Leorio all flared their nen angrily, surrounding Kurapika, as Machi, Kortopi and Shalnark observed from the sidelines, unperturbed. They were thieves. When thieves wanted something, they took it, and the one leading them was the strongest.

Chrollo watched Aada's friends for a while, amused, but then his body suddenly tensed, sensing the energy that had no place there anymore. Still, understanding came a second too late. He couldn't move; his limbs wouldn't listen, all glued in place. He was forcefully yanked backwards, but where others would fail, he managed to force his muscles to work for a second, before he was thrown against a tall, strong body that was now pressed against his back, a muscular arm closing around his neck, mirroring the hold he had on Aada only seconds before.

"Don't touch what doesn't belong to you."

The voice sounded familiar, but Chrollo almost didn't recognize it, for it has lost its playful, mocking note. It was only menacing, and deadly, bordering a growl. He felt an iron grip on his wrist that gradually intensified, until he could hear his bones grinding and breaking. He bit his lip not to scream, refusing to give satisfaction to the one who held him.

Aada's eyes widened in shock as she was struggling to understand what she was seeing. She flew through the air along with Chrollo, and now fell to the ground, but avoided any serious injury. She dragged her body through the debris to move away, registering that she owed being out of harm's way to the one she so hated; if he had let go of her earlier, the impact of hitting the arena floor would've been much greater. It was a split second, but she felt it – when yanked back, Chrollo held her closer, and released her as soon as he made contact with what he must've assessed as danger. It was almost as if he was trying to keep her safe, though she was finding it hard to believe. If left only a split second to react, humans and animals alike acted on instinct and it was unlikely Chrollo's was to protect.

She didn't have time to think about it, shocked by what was unfolding before her. He was dead. Hisoka was dead. This wasn't happening; it must be shock, fatigue and loss, all combining to make her see something she so desperately wished for. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a movement and a blur of pink. Before Machi could reach her, Aada's line of sight was blocked and with a start she recognized Killua's brother.

"Stay back, spider." Illumi's voice sounded as indifferent as Aada remembered. "Looks like my contract is still binding."

Aada didn't get his meaning, but instinctively understood she was safe. She looked around quickly, and noticed her friends blocking Shalnark and Kortopi's way. Her attention immediately focused back on the two men in the middle of the demolished arena, as she still struggled to understand what had just happened. Hisoka's lips were moving, but she couldn't hear whatever he was saying. He held Chrollo in a vice-like grip, the Spider's facial expression reflecting its brutal force.

"You underestimated me." Hisoka's voice was still hollow, "You were so absorbed with yourself that you forgot about me. All this noise, and the nen flaring all around… It was enough."

"How…?" Chrollo's voice was barely audible. "You were dead."

"Oh, I told you you'd say this, before I kill you," replied Hisoka with a satisfied grin on his face. "A good magician needs to keep his secrets, hmmm? But I also promised you'd fall to your knees, didn't I?"

Chrollo's eyes widened as a clawed hand plunged into his back, mercilessly looking for its target. He bit on his lip harder and felt blood trickling down his chin. Hisoka's long fingers, supported by the power of nen, tore through tissue and muscle with brutal accuracy and locked on the spinal column, breaking it with a sickening crack. Chrollo fell to his knees, Hisoka's bungee gum the only force supporting him and preventing him from crashing onto the arena floor.

"No!" Machi screamed and released her nen, her threads launching in Hisoka's direction in a desperate attempt to stop him, but her opponent matched her in speed and accuracy; Illumi's needles whistled through the air and blocked her attack. Further to the left, Killua's hatsu flared at Kortopi, not strong enough to kill him, but arresting his movements, as Gon and Leorio blocked Shalnark's way.

The magician sat on his haunches behind Chrollo, his lips close to the spider's ear.

"I can share a secret with you now, since I know you will never tell." Whispered Hisoka, making sure nobody else could hear him. "You hurt what's mine. Recently I discovered I don't take it very well."

"You hurt her more than I did." Croaked Chrollo. "Look at her. She'll never trust you again."

Hisoka did, and flinched. It was Machi who screamed earlier when he crushed Chrollo's spine, but although Aada didn't, the look on her face clearly showed she was appalled by the level of violence she'd just witnessed. Her eyes were wide, hand clenched on her own shirt, instinctively looking for support. Just like the day he saw her last, she was scared of him.

"Look." repeated Chrollo, and almost immediately was wracked by a wet cough. As blood trickled down his chin, he tried to calm his breathing.

"Both of us – we are monsters in her eyes now, aren't we?" he asked, and Hisoka hated the calm Chrollo was able to preserve even in the situation he was in.

"She has known this all along, but now she can clearly see it… the dark we both share, you and I."

Hisoka growled, angry that he couldn't find words to reject Chrollo's claim.

"I think…" Chrollo's voice was pensive, the façade back in place despite the pain he must've been feeling. "You should let her go, with me. But you're too selfish to do that, aren't you? You'll likely choose to kill me, but I'm not important. The Spider is eternal."

"The Spider? You will go first, and soon the rest will follow."

Chrollo tried to speak, but Hisoka's hand muffled his protests.

"Enough." Said the magician, still low enough only for Chrollo to hear him. "I'm going to annihilate everything you've built. It's only fair you know it, before the end. Now… I believe I made you one more promise I intend to keep."

Chrollo's vision was getting darker. In the distance, he could see a terrified face and didn't realize when his body tried to move.

"Oh…" Hisoka's eyes widened in understanding, then almost immediately narrowed in anger. "Not even the great Chrollo Lucilfer was immune to her, was he?

"She's not yours to take." He continued, "Even though I hurt her, she'll always only be mine."

He said that with more certainty he felt, but Hisoka hoped that was the case. His hand, still embedded deep in Chrollo's flesh, continued further to the left, seeking the heart, wanting to crush and silence its frantic, chaotic beating.

"Aaaah…" Hisoka's tone was mocking as he continued, in anticipation to soon watch Chrollo's body fall to the ground one last time. "I've always known you were heartless. Soon you truly will be a broken toy."

"No." Of all of the people who could've pleaded for Chrollo's life, this one was the least likely. Hisoka's mouth opened in a surprised "o" as he watched Kurapika approach.

"Don't." Kurapika whispered. "It is hard for me to ask, but… think about it. Think about what she represents."

"No." growled the magician. "I said I'd kill him, and I will."

Kurapika shook his head.

"Look at her." He said quietly. "Let me handle this, Hisoka. I can do it right this time. Please."

Hisoka looked like he was fighting his bloodlust, but then he looked at Aada again, and sighed deeply, hardly believing what he was about to do, shocked by the ease with which the chaotic, obsessive love he felt for her was able to override instincts that ruled him for as long as he cared to remember. Illumi had been right all along; at least a part of him had been changed and he wasn't sure he liked it.

"Fine." He said. "Do what you will, Kurapika.

"You…" The magician pointed at Machi, then Kortopi and Shalnark, all of them too shocked to counter his power as it enveloped them, "Give us a minute."

Kurapika leaned towards the bloodied, motionless Chrollo.

"I will put several conditions on you now." He said calmly. "I was too hotheaded the first time I did that, too vulnerable, but no longer.

"For the longest time I thought death would be a suitable punishment for you… but now I know better. You don't value your own life highly, so denying you what you want should hurt more, shouldn't it?" There was a pensive, indifferent smile on Kurapika's face that made Chrollo reel in sudden understanding, but he quickly regained composure.

"I always get what I want, in the end." he replied.

"Not this time." Kurapika grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head backwards. His nen flared brightly as the judgement chain activated. "You wanted to use Hisoka's feelings against him, assessing them as weakness. Now I will do the same to you… Because he is right, isn't he? There's something you crave for yourself, though you never expected it. You're used to taking what you want, but this one thing… You'll never have it.

"Look at me!" Kurapika's eyes flared with angry crimson. "I will not deactivate your nen this time... If you come close to Aada, you will die." The chain dove deep into Chrollo's chest, eliciting a scream.

"If any of your current or future spiders approach her, Hisoka, Leorio, Gon, Killua or myself, you will feel compulsion to kill them." continued Kurapika quietly. "You might try if it was just you… But surprisingly, you value them more than yourself. If you or anybody else attempts to exorcise these conditions, same compulsion will apply.

"If Hisoka and she ever have any descendants and any of the spiders approach them, same conditions apply." The magician's eyes widened at Kurapika's words.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Chrollo still managed to look haughty despite his injuries, his voice taunting.

Kurapika sighed.

"For all my hatred, I could never deny your intelligence." he said, "But now you're delusional. She will never come to you of her own accord."

"I guess we'll see, won't we? She might." Chrollo looked at Hisoka, able to deal one last, well aimed blow even when not in control of his own body. "I've been in her head; nobody knows her better than I do. Remember."

Upon hearing these words, Hisoka visibly flinched. Kurapika could see how his fists clenched, but he refrained from moving towards Chrollo, and he found himself experiencing a very unexpected feeling. He knew Hisoka better than others did, and now, when he saw Machi and the other spiders gather their leader from the Arena floor while the magician made no move to stop them, he knew just how much it cost him. Despite himself, he hoped Aada would see it, appreciate it, and give him a chance. Hisoka's body was shaking, tethered to the fine edge of control, barely holding in the rage he felt. His fist was clenched on an object that buzzed with energy – a single playing card, imbued with nen, now cutting deep into his flesh, blood dripping down its smooth surface and onto the arena floor.

The spiders left, and as the adrenaline rush stopped, Kurapika felt more exhausted than he ever had. He tried to walk but stumbled. Leorio was at his side in an instant, holding him up.

"That was extremely careless of you, Kurapika." he hissed angrily.

"Don't…" Kurapika mumbled as he looked up at him. "Don't lecture me, Leorio."

"You could've died!"

"There's been too much death." he retorted quietly, "I thought I could but… I can't do it anymore.

"I can't…" he repeated as Leorio held him closer.

"It's ok." whispered the doctor. "I know. Just remember, you're no longer alone."

Kurapika nodded, too tired to speak. Next to them, Hisoka looked at Aada, unsure what to do, or say. He knew how to fight, and kill. He didn't know how to fix this, him and her, what to say, how to convey what he felt. Though not in the way he planned or expected, he finally had what he wanted right in front of him, but felt lost.


	31. Volatile Constant

_**A/N:** One more chapter, hope you'll enjoy it! Let me know what you think._

* * *

 **Volatile Constant**

Aada couldn't help what she felt seeing Hisoka again; she understood that she should probably be overcome by revulsion and anger, but although these feelings partially appeared, the ones that prevailed were admiration in the face of inhuman grace and beauty she'd witnessed, relief, and longing. She couldn't comprehend how it was possible that somehow, against all odds, he was alive. She was unable to think clearly; she couldn't ignore the small voice in the back of her mind that sounded like the one person she never wanted to hear again. It whispered that Hisoka didn't come for her; that his actions only proved it, that he only came because he wanted to fight Chrollo, that all he craved was the thrill of battle and carnage, that he didn't love her and that he would leave again.

She didn't know what to do or say, but the decision was made for her. Hisoka moved as inhumanly fast as during the fight, and before she could register what was happening, she was enveloped in a strong embrace, assaulted by the smell of blood and dirt, but also the unmistakable smoky sweetness. At first she just wanted to drown in it; she'd missed him so much. Still, Chrollo's poison coursed through her, intensified by the memory of how the magician hurt her when she saw him last, and how he hurt Leorio.

"You left me." she said, unable to control herself, pulling away, her hands balling into fists. "You keep leaving me!"

Hisoka pulled her back forcefully, arresting her movements.

"You can hate me if you want. You're safe now.

"You're safe, little pine." Aada froze, surprised by the new, gentle note that seemed out of place in the voice she remembered so well.

"Little pine, I…" he started, his voice still unusually soft.

Aada shook her head, refusing to look at him. She expected to be pushed back again. For a reason yet unknown it didn't happen immediately, but it would, just like before. It hurt when he left the first time, it hurt unimaginably when she thought he died, and it would hurt when he'd leave again. Her mind, poisoned by days of Chrollo's manipulation, immediately replayed Hisoka's words, announcing for everybody to hear that even if Chrollo took on her likeness, he'd still attack him, that it would make no difference; she remembered the message he sent.

 _Am I supposed to care? She was just a toy, I can find another whenever I want._

"No." she said, fear of being hurt again overshadowing the silent promise she'd made when trying to revive him.

"Little pine…"

"No." she repeated, "I don't want to hear it."

Hisoka's brows furrowed and he managed to tilt her chin up so she would look at him. Aada complied, her eyes reflecting the bizarre mixture of sadness and anger that she was experiencing at the moment.

"I can't do this again." She whispered.

"Can't do what?" Aada flinched slightly, hearing a hint of anger in the magician's voice.

"This… whatever this is. I know you didn't come here for me." She continued. "You only came here to fight him, didn't you? You wanted it so much you died for it. As for me… you only feel possessiveness. I don't know how… how you managed to come back. But I can't take any more pain, any more manipulation. You'll leave anyway. So go."

"Stop talking. Now." Aada could feel tension in Hisoka's posture. Any softness was gone; he looked furious. She wanted to move away, but his arms locked around her and forced her to remain in place. Golden eyes gleamed angrily, possessively.

"You are not doing this. I won't let you."

"Why?" she asked tiredly.

"I did not come here for him." Said Hisoka, his voice low and menacing. "I did not die for him. If you don't want me anymore, well… I don't care. I want this." His arms tightened around her even more, "And I will have it."

Aada looked at him, not understanding. She heard the words, but the meaning was still getting through to her.

"If you ever try to leave, I'll force you to stay. You are mine." Hisoka continued angrily. "There will be nobody else. If you try to leave me for someone else, I'll kill them. You'll never be rid of me. Do you understand?"

Aada stared back at him, so furious her body started shaking. Before she realized what she was doing, she pushed him away and slapped him, hard. Her hand hurt from the impact; he must've been too shocked to react and she managed to free herself from his hold and step away.

"You're no different from him after all." She said quietly, and Hisoka couldn't suppress a grimace at the comparison.

"He put a needle in my head and forced me to do whatever he wanted." Aada continued. "You want to do the same."

Hisoka was uncharacteristically silent. Strangely enough, he looked as though he was in pain, but Aada shook her head.

"I won't stand for this. I will never be controlled like that again. When you died, I could only think how I'd forgive everything you've done or would do, but this… this I cannot forgive.

"And you…" she looked him in the eye, her gaze harsh. "You don't own me."

She took a step away, wanting to leave, but almost immediately she was stopped and forcefully turned around before she could take another. Her eyes widened in surprise; Hisoka was now on his knees, his arms around her waist, face buried in her stomach; all she could see was a mess of vibrant red with darker streaks of blood.

"Fine. I don't." Said the magician quietly, making sure nobody but Aada could hear him. "But _you_ own _me_."

"Stop that! I don't!" Aada tried prying his arms off, then pushing him away, but to no avail. "Let go of me! Nobody owns anybody, it's not right!"

"You do. And I'm fine with that." He looked up. "Don't go."

He looked conflicted for a second, as if whatever he wanted to say next didn't sit well with him. He bit his lip, frowning, and then breathed in deep, as though he'd made a decision.

"Please." He said. "Please, don't."

His gaze softened almost imperceptibly, but Aada noticed, surprised. He sounded and looked absolutely sincere and it rendered her speechless. She stared at him, still trying to come to terms with what he told her. The absolute possessiveness he'd expressed earlier angered her. What he said was bordering a threat, though for him it probably was a declaration that he would always be there.

Although she still struggled to accept it, it looked like Hisoka had come for her. She'd always known who he was - a force of nature, not to be tamed by anyone, following what he wanted, not what he was expected to want, complex and difficult, his only limitation being himself.

"Does this mean…?" she was still too stunned to finish her question.

"Yes." He replied, still more serious than she'd ever seen him. "It's your fault, but now I like it."

"Oh." That was all Aada managed to say, too surprised. She wanted to hear him say he loved her so many times, but she supposed she shouldn't have expected the ordinary.

"Tell me..." The magician demanded, and she immediately understood that despite his own obvious inability to say the words, he wanted them from her. The sentence hung in the air, unfinished, missing the word he hated and was unaccustomed to saying, although it was almost palpable.

 _Please._

Aada hesitated; despite what he'd said earlier, she knew it came down to her choice. She had known Hisoka to be charming, intelligent, playful and mischievous. He also had a monster inside of him. Ever since she'd met him, Aada understood better that the world was full of monsters, ready to tear you apart or take away what you loved. The monster in front of her killed others with no hesitation, and often with joy. He found ultimate happiness in fighting strong opponents and constantly testing himself, but this monster was also hers to claim, if she wanted him.

She looked around, trying to find Leorio. He was standing nearby and when their eyes met, he nodded, surprising her almost as much as Hisoka's actions. If she didn't believe in the magician's sincerity before, she did now. Leorio used to be vehemently against her interest in Hisoka, and was there to pick up the pieces after he left, yet now he wasn't losing his mind, he was accepting, and that meant something.

Hisoka was making a choice, one to acknowledge somebody else's needs, not just his own. He didn't want to just take, he offered himself, something she'd never expect him to do. Aada was struck by a sudden thought; all her life, she felt the ones she loved kept leaving her, but never again. Hisoka was unbreakable, and though their relationship would be difficult and for some bordering toxic, he'd never leave. Perhaps willingness to accept it made her just as twisted as he was. Ironically, she thought that if not for Chrollo's actions, neither of them would be able to fully accept the other; both had to face the loss of what they wanted in order to reach that level of acceptance. In many ways they were alike, and in others they differed, but now she was willing to embrace the end result of their shared equation: the volatile constant.

"I won't go." She promised, stroking the wild, red hair, decision made. "I love you."

"Good." He got up and held her closer, more gently now, placing his chin on top of her head. "You always will."

Aada couldn't help herself and smiled.

"Yes." She confirmed. "But not because you tell me to."

"That's fine with me. I still stand by one thing I said – you'll never be rid of me."

Aada looked up at him, tension leaving her body.

"It better be true." She said, "Because if you ever try to hurt me and leave again, I know exactly which tendons to cut."

The magician chuckled, amused, once again surprising Aada with how fast his moods changed – in only a few minutes, he went from apologetic and gentle to violent, from pleading to playful.

"You're scary when you want to be, little pine."

"Hisoka…" said Aada quietly, suddenly growing more serious, "I need to know… how did you… You died. I know you did, better than anyone. I… I tried so hard, but I couldn't…"

"Shhhh." The magician placed his index finger on her lips. "I will tell you everything, eventually. Only you."

Aada looked back at Hisoka for a while, and then smiled, a radiant, bright smile that she reserved only for him, realizing that this promise, the trust he had in her, meant more than any confession. She stood on her toes and kissed him, reveling in the feeling of his arms around her as he responded, in a much gentler way than she remembered. She tangled her fingers in his hair, angling his face so she could deepen the kiss, feeling pleasant shivers when one of Hisoka's hands moved to the back of her neck.

Leorio shook his head helplessly as he watched the two people completely oblivious of their surroundings. Aada's head was resting comfortably on Hisoka's chest now, his chin on top of her head. Her arms were wrapped tight around his waist. Both had their eyes closed. One of his hands was rubbing slow circles on her back in a lazy, unconscious caress, unaware he was smearing blood all over her clothes. She didn't seem to mind.

"Did she really have to choose someone like him?" sighed Leorio. "Well, I guess opposites attract, and all that."

"They're not opposites at all, Leorio." Replied Kurapika, squeezing the doctor's hand, feeling his strength slowly return. "And besides, he came for her, no hesitation. That should give you some comfort. She'll keep him in check, he'll keep her safe."

"And drive me mad in the process." whined Leorio. "And how come he pulled that one off?! Ah… If even Chrollo couldn't make him stay dead, I guess I have to start getting used to him, don't I?"

Kurapika chuckled.

"I'm afraid so."

It was the doctor's turn to squeeze Kurapika's hand.

"Good thing I have you then." He smiled happily.

"Yes, you do."

Both were distracted when suddenly a small, high speed missile collided with Hisoka's side.

"I'm so happy you're not dead anymore, Hisoka!" Gon exclaimed excitedly, looking up at the magician, delivering a hug that would likely be bone crushing to anybody else.

Hisoka chuckled, amused.

"So am I." he said.

The boy jumped towards Aada next, quickly making her gasp for air.

"Tone it down, Gon." Killua, always the voice of reason, pulled his friend off her by the collar. "You don't want her to suffocate, right?"

"Uh… sorry." Gon looked embarrassed, but then continued happily. "Anyway, I'm so glad you're OK, Aada! We were so worried! We all missed you, well, Hisoka most of all, of course. I kept saying he'd be back, but Leorio didn't believe me, and then he was back, and Leorio hit him so hard, and I felt so sorry for him because Hisoka looked so lost without you!"

Aada made a valiant effort not to laugh.

"Is that so?" she asked, taking a glance at the magician, who in turn was eyeing Gon with a mixture of annoyance and resignation.

"I missed you just as much as Hisoka did, if not more." She heard from behind her and turned around as quickly as she could, but not fast enough – Leorio already gathered her in a strong embrace and she couldn't stop the tears.

"I missed you so much too." She whispered against the worn material of the ugly suit she now thought was the most beautiful thing.

"I will pamper you when we're back home." Continued Leorio, "And I'll even forgive that now because of you I'll have to be looking at Hisoka way too often. Just never disappear on me like that again."

"Hey, I'm not done!" said Leorio angrily when said magician pulled Aada back towards himself.

"You're both smothering her." Kurapika said, shaking his head. "If you don't stop, she's going to be sorry to be back."

Aada looked up at the two tall men beside her, smiling.

"For a while, both of you can smother me all you want." She said. "But for now let go of me, please."

Mildly surprised they listened, Aada walked towards Kurapika.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, hoping no one else could hear them. "I didn't know who Chrollo was when I met him. I would never…"

"I know." Kurapika smiled sadly. "I'm sorry you had to go through all this."

Aada shook her head.

"It's nothing in comparison to what happened to you."

"Wrong is still wrong, Aada."

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I don't know." Kurapika shook his head. "Relieved. Sick. And the weight is still there. I wonder if it will ever disappear."

Aada placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. He put his hand on top of hers for a second.

"I'm glad you're back." he said. "This much I know for sure."

"Me too." replied Aada, and after a short pause she added, "I could see it, your chain. What you did… you forced him to leave – you're amazing, Kurapika.

"I know just how strong he is." she added, her voice lower, hand reaching towards the gash on her neck. "Though it's the kind of knowledge I could go without."

"Here, let me." Aada watched in amazement as another of Kurapika's chains materialized. It touched her neck and she felt pain disappear. Witnessing nen with her own eyes was an amazing experience and she'd made a mental note to ask Kurapika to show her more of his abilities later, given they seemed to be the only ones she could see.

"This is…" she struggled to find words. "This is one of the most astonishing things I've ever witnessed."

Kurapika's cheeks were dusted with red.

"I'm sorry he hurt you like that." he whispered, both because of concern and to deflect attention from himself.

Aada's hand touched the skin on her neck briefly before she responded, tracing down to the collarbone where the gash used to be, and nodded.

"He wanted to embed the needle again, before the fight." she explained, "He wanted… Gods, I don't know what he wanted, and I don't want to know. I tried to push him away. It hurt, but… Let's just say I never wanted to be controlled like that again. He was angry with me, as if it was my fault. As if he cared."

"How interesting." Despite his choice of words, Illumi's voice remained bored. He must've approached them as they were deep in conversation, and neither heard him. "Controlled again, you say? Your mind should've been broken, and yet here you are."

"Hmmm. Yes, he said it tends to happen." Aada surprised everyone when she walked straight to the older Zoldyck.

"Leorio, your suitcase please." She said, and then looked over her shoulder. The younger doctor obeyed and held it up for her. Aada rummaged through the contents and retrieved saline and a bandage.

"I'm sorry." She said, and took Illumi by the wrist, ignoring Killua's gasp. She knew what her young friend must've been thinking, but she didn't care. Adrenaline must've made her earlier grasp stronger than she thought it to be – some of the small, crescent shape welts on Illumi's arm were bleeding. She cleaned them and bandaged his arm in quick, efficient movements.

When she was done, she looked up at Killua's brother. If the two family members she'd met so far were any indication, beauty was inherent to the Zoldyck bloodline. Illumi stood motionless; with his pale skin, huge dark eyes and long black hair he resembled a porcelain doll, deceptively fragile and harmless if one knew nothing of nen and his heritage.

"Thank you." She added.

"You needn't thank me." Illumi replied. "Hisoka paid me. I simple did what I was hired to do."

"I don't care." Aada shrugged. "I don't care if you were paid to do so; you saved me. Learn to accept gratitude; if you can't, it's not my problem."

She heard a loud chuckle and it didn't surprise her in the least. Both Hisoka and Gon found the situation amusing, though probably for different reasons.

"Aada, look!" The boy's eyes were sparkling with mirth. "You and Illumi look almost like twins!"

Aada looked down at herself and then at Illumi. Both of them were pale, slender, with long, dark hair, and wearing a matching colour of green. The absurdity of Gon's comment coupled with Killua's startled expression and Illumi's blank one took away the last remnants of tension and she started laughing, hard enough to lose balance, held up by Hisoka, knowing that from now on she could always lean on him if she wanted. It took her a minute to calm down, and then she made a mock salute towards the still motionless assassin.

"Thank you again, twin brother." She said, still amused. "If you ever need help, you can count on me."

When the mirth eventually died down, Aada paid closer attention to her surroundings and cursed her obliviousness; she failed to pay sufficient attention to the one closest to her.

"Hi-so-ka, you're hurt." she said, now fully aware that one of the hands holding her was bleeding.

"It's nothing, little pine." The magician reassured her. He was being honest – he now had what he wanted, and had long forgotten the cut he inflicted upon himself to be able to maintain control of his own actions earlier.

"Don't argue with me, please." Aada's voice gained the unmistakable steely quality Hisoka remembered well and he smiled. He missed it.

"Fine, if you insist, little pine." he said and watched her tend to his wound, not failing to notice how much more careful she was being in comparison to how she handled Illumi's superficial injuries. It made him feel good.

* * *

Hisoka looked around the arena quickly – Leorio was immersed in a quiet conversation with Kurapika and Gon and Killua were busy trying to ignore Illumi, whose attention, unsurprisingly, was focused on the younger Zoldyck. Hisoka tilted Aada's chin up; she could see a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Cleaning up this mess will be rather boring, don't you think, little pine?" he asked with a grin. "Let's leave it to Leorio and Kurapika."

Aada fought to suppress a smile, but felt the corners of her mouth twitch. This was the Hisoka she remembered, and it made her feel lighter, happy. She gave a quick nod and Hisoka lifted her off the ground, his left arm wrapped around her waist.

"Hold on tight." He said and winked at her.

Aada wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, but couldn't help the nervousness that made her body a bit tense.

"Relax, little pine..." Said Hisoka and paused for a second. "You're safe, remember?"

"Bungee gum, contract." He whispered.

Aada felt the rush of air as they flew above the arena, landing straight at the exit.

"Windswept hair suits you, little pine." Hisoka said, and then grabbed Aada's hand. "Now, let's run before Leorio notices."

They ran along the corridor, Aada barely keeping up with Hisoka's long strides. As soon as the elevator door closed behind them, she leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. She heard a chuckle and looked at the magician.

"You're terribly out of shape, little pine."

"Oh?" Aada's head titled to the right as her breathing evened out. "Let's see…"

She jumped into Hisoka's arms, wrapping her legs around his hips, making him lose his balance and crash into the opposite wall. One of her hands tangled in his hair, while the other cupped his cheek.

"You really must have missed me." There was a small smile on Hisoka's lips, but his gaze held a warm glow that immediately made Aada think that his eyes looked even more captivating than before, like molten honey.

"A lot." She admitted, and then leaned in to kiss him.

Now with just the two of them, it felt just as amazing as the first time she'd done that, the day on the bridge. She didn't mind the coppery aftertaste of blood and felt herself melting as the floors passed them by. Hisoka moaned into the kiss, and Aada had a familiar feeling of sensory overload breaking through every barrier she'd constructed inside her after he left, so many weeks ago.

The elevator stopped and when the door opened, they stumbled out to the corridor, their lips still connected, until Aada felt her back hit the wall. She broke away from the kiss, and pressed Hisoka's face against her neck, tilting her head to the side to give him better access. She felt him smile against her skin, and then shivered as his lips moved slowly, lazily, until he reached a spot right below her ear and sucked on it, leaving a mark.

"More." She said, surprised by the demanding note in her voice.

To her disappointment, Hisoka stopped and backed away slightly. She looked at him questioningly, but he only took her hand and led her down the corridor, until he reached a door. He opened it and led her inside, locking it behind him.

"Now…"

Before he could finish, Aada pulled him down for another kiss and moved his arms up. She backed away only to take his shirt off and kissed him again. She felt Hisoka's arms tightening around her, but then he pulled away and she was stopped by a firm squeeze on her wrist. She looked up, surprised, meeting a serious amber gaze.

"Don't rush it, little pine."

"But last time, you…" she didn't finish, long, slender fingers on her lips preventing her from speaking.

"Not tonight, hmmm?" the magician leaned towards Aada, until his lips brushed against her ear. He took her hand and led her to a large bathroom adjacent to his room in the Arena.

"You won't need this anymore." Hisoka tried to take her cardigan off; it was stained with both his and Chrollo's blood, but Aada suddenly froze and resisted.

"What's wrong, little pine?" he asked, worried, as she tried to tear her hand out of his hold. "Tell me."

Aada bit her lip, trying not to cry, but she couldn't do it. Tears rolled down her cheeks slowly as she removed the cardigan, revealing her wrist. Hisoka gasped, and then she felt the unmistakable tendrils of his aura, reflecting the anger he must've felt at seeing St. Peter's cross marking her skin.

"I'm sorry." she said, voice shaking a bit. "I didn't want to do this, please believe me. I'll have it removed as soon as I can."

Her pleading tone sobered Hisoka up – she looked scared. It hurt that after everything, it was so easy for her to be scared of him, but he couldn't blame her.

"I know." he said and cupped her cheek in a gesture that he hoped was soothing, feeling new and incompetent in the unknown world of trying to manifest his feelings. "It's not you I'm angry with."

Still, he had to ask; he both wanted to know and feared the answer.

"Little pine, did he…" he tried, not knowing how to ask what he needed to know, hoping she didn't have to go through a trauma of this magnitude. "Did he force you to…"

Aada's body went stiff, her eyes wide.

"Little pine… don't be scared of me." Hisoka pleaded.

"Would it… change anything between us?" she asked quietly.

"No." he replied immediately, trying to keep his voice calm. "But I would tear him to pieces, no matter what Kurapika said."

"He almost did." Aada's head hung low as she unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself.

"He… kissed me. Several times." she admitted, not looking at Hisoka. "He used the needle to make me think I loved him. To make it seem as though we had been together for a while already."

She paused, but then decided to push on. It had to be said, no more deceit.

"We almost… He almost…" she stammered a bit regardless. "But I remembered."

She looked up at Hisoka.

"I remembered you." her voice was louder now, "I wasn't supposed to, but I did."

Hisoka looked at her for a long while, surprised by the insistent, loud beat of his own heart.

"Say something, please." Aada looked vulnerable, fragile.

He embraced her, long nails raking through her hair.

"Do you want me to kill him, little pine?" he asked seriously.

Aada shook her head, her cheek brushing against him as she did.

"No." she whispered. "I don't want him to play any role in our lives. Never again."

Hisoka held her a while longer, but then he gently pushed her away and took her hand in his.

"I know you want to remove it." he said, "But there's something I can do to help, for now."

He touched her skin, and Aada felt the slight buzz of his nen, just like she remembered. Barely a second later her skin looked as though it was never tattooed.

"Thank you.

"You won't leave, like last time?" she asked after a while.

"No." Hisoka shook his head.

"I will leave, sometimes." he admitted, "But not like last time. And I'll be back, always."

Aada gave him a small smile.

"I think I can live with that."

"Good."

Hisoka washed the blood off her hands, then used a washcloth to clean it off her neck and knees. Aada stood frozen in place, transfixed by the gentleness she never knew he possessed.

"There." Hisoka said eventually, "I remember you told me once you had enough red in your line of work."

He reached into one of the cabinets and retrieved a small bottle; Aada gasped, surprised and touched as she immediately recognized it.

"I found it in your room and brought it with me." Said Hisoka, opening the bottle to pour a few drops on his fingertips. "I thought you'd like it."

She nodded, unable to speak, welcoming the calming effect of her favourite scent as his fingers slowly rubbed the perfume on the skin below her ears. He took her hand again and led her back to the room, to an armchair next to the window, and poured her a glass of wine from the bar.

"I'll be right back." he whispered, brushing his cheek against hers. "Wait for me?"

Aada nodded and he left, wanting to wash away the blood and dirt. After he stepped into the shower and felt the hot water wash over him, Hisoka watched the swirls of red washing down the drain. It seemed deceptively easy to go back to their usual routine, but he knew better. Chrollo was right – he had hurt Aada more than anyone else. He needed to find a way to show her he understood now, that she could trust him.

"Farewell, Chrollo…" he said quietly. "…and thank you."


	32. Home

_**A/N:**_ _Once again, a minor spoiler alert. The basics of Hisoka's explanation as to what happened to him after his fight with Chrollo comes from the manga, although, as usual, it is altered to fit my story._

 **Home**

Aada was standing next to the window, looking at the city lights down below. She could see Hisoka along her own reflection as he approached her. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, the warmth of his skin seeping through the thin fabric of her shirt. For a while, their joined reflections looked at each other and they remained silent, enjoying a level of closeness they'd never had before. Hisoka felt good, but there was one thought preventing him from feeling completely relaxed.

"Little pine..." He started, his voice unsure and worried.

Aada turned around to look at him.

"Little pine..." he said again, "He said… he'd been in your head. That he knew you better than anyone."

Aada sighed.

"I'd rather leave that behind me, Hi-so-ka."

He knew he probably shouldn't continue, but Hisoka couldn't help it. What he felt for Aada opened a door for other feelings, and not all of them enjoyable. Insecurity was not one he was particularly fond of.

"The only loophole to Kurapika's conditions is if you go to Chrollo of your own free will – he seemed quite certain you'd do it."

There. He said it. And almost instantly regretted it.

"I can't believe you just said that." Aada looked at him disbelievingly.

"I hate him!" she pulled out of the magician's embrace, her fists clenched. "I hate how he is still in here with us. Manipulative bastard…"

"He told me something along those lines." she said, her voice quieter as she looked into the darkness outside. "He said there was a small part of me, deep inside, that liked being with him. That I shouldn't lie to myself. That I was a bit like you, but more like him.

"Do you not trust me, Hi-so-ka?" she asked, still looking outside, her reflection betraying how sad she felt. She continued, not waiting for his answer. "Yes. Chrollo had been in my head. Yes, he was trying to manipulate me, and then you. He neglected to mention my response, didn't he?

"I told him he was delusional." said Aada firmly, and turned around to face the magician. "He picked my mind apart, but there was only one person he could have found there – you."

Never before had Hisoka paid so much attention to words. Not before her. Of course he trusted her, angry with himself for letting his insecurities make him say things he shouldn't have. Still, it felt good to hear her say the words. It felt good to be chosen, wanted - in a way nobody else ever wanted him.

"I will say it only once." Aada's voice was calm. "I will never, ever go to him. I do not wish to think of him, I don't want to say his name again. I won't let him manipulate either of us anymore. There is only one person I want to be with – you. And this… this last bit I can say many times over."

As soon as she said that, she found herself pressed against the glass, then embraced again.

"I shouldn't have said that." admitted the magician, looking down at her, trying to convey what he felt, unsure if he was able to. "I'm… sorry."

"Don't make that face, it doesn't suit you." Said Aada and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down towards her, placing a quick, chaste kiss on his lips, and then looked him in the eye. "I don't want apologies."

She paused for a second, biting her lip.

"I want _you_." she said, and blushed slightly.

"Oh?" Hisoka smiled, enjoying her expression immensely, but then looked at Aada seriously, all of a sudden knowing what he needed to do. "Good. Then take me."

Aada looked at him for a long while, surprised by the ease with which he gave her all the initiative. Feeling slightly bolder, she took Hisoka's hand and led him to the large bed in the corner of the room, then pushed him down onto it. He let her, and then his arms settled motionlessly along his sides. Aada stood up and slowly undressed, still wary, apprehensive, and then knelt next to him on the mattress. She leaned towards him, kissing him briefly, then moved lower, placing kisses along his neck and collarbone, down his chest and abdomen; she heard a sharp intake of air he made and bit back her own moan. She paused, waiting if he'd react, if he'd immediately dominate her like before, but to her surprise he remained perfectly still, but for the muscles tensing beneath her lips. Her tongue darted out to taste the skin as she moved back up, and she realized she'd missed even this – the texture of his skin and the taste of him.

They were eye to eye now and it felt incredibly intimate, even though their lips weren't touching. Aada's hands trembled a bit as she tugged at the towel around Hisoka's hips, maintaining eye contact as she slowly undid it. Her fingers brushed against his length, and then closed around it more firmly as she slowly moved her hand up and down. Hisoka gasped and licked his lips, and she didn't want to wait anymore.

Aada backed away slightly, still looking at Hisoka; she could see the want in his eyes, but also something else, something that wasn't there last time they'd been together like this. She straddled him and slowly lowered herself onto him, gasping at the sensation she missed. Feeling more courageous, she grabbed Hisoka's wrists and moved them behind his head, pushing down, holding him in place as she moved slowly, entranced by this new kind of dynamics between the two of them.

Hisoka threw his head back and closed his eyes, his breathing ragged, but still didn't move otherwise. Aada felt intoxicated with the sensation she had almost forgotten after her time with Chrollo. Control. She was aware that if Hisoka wanted to, he could easily take it away from her; she understood he was trying to convey he wouldn't unless she wanted him to, making her feel safe, free. She moved faster now, her hands releasing his wrists, fingers tracing his lips. She felt pleasure building up and it felt so good to let go of her fears, of her insecurity. She took his hands and placed them on her hips; she held them down for a moment and his fingers applied the pressure she craved, no longer painful like last time.

Aada needed to touch again, to feel, spreading her palms flat against Hisoka's chest; her nails dug into his skin and her movements became erratic. His eyes bore deep into hers, teeth biting hard into his lower lip, and she could feel it, almost tangible, some deeper understanding, connection, before her senses became overwhelmed and she came, hard, whispering his name. No longer holding on to his control, Hisoka pulled her down on him as he thrust up, unable to hold in a loud moan as he found his own release. She collapsed next to him, spent, but feeling better than she had felt in weeks. Hisoka moved slowly, deliberately, closing her in a strong embrace.

"I missed you, so much." Aada's arms tightened around him, and the magician held her even closer.

"Mine." he said, liking the way the word rolled off his tongue after too many weeks of not uttering it. "Only mine."

"I trust you know it works both ways."

"Mhmmm. I know." He replied, his mouth curving in a small smile.

"Good. I know you're good at forgetting things, but this one I won't let you forget." Aada's voice held a tinge of amusement, making him smile more.

"I figured as much."

Aada nuzzled her face into his neck, enjoying the feeling that still lingered. It felt so safe.

"Little pine…?" Hisoka asked quietly.

Aada did not realize she said the words aloud.

"You make me feel safe." She repeated sleepily before her eyelids became too heavy and she fell asleep.

Hisoka breathed in deeply and exhaled. It wasn't easy for him, to suppress his nature, the possessiveness, the need to take and dominate the one that he knew belonged only to him, but somewhere deep down he realized this was the moment that could weigh on her trust in him. If he were to be honest, the need to overwhelm and dominate was not as strong as before; it felt surprisingly good and satisfying to let Aada take him this way and he instinctively understood she needed this, to regain control of her life. It was an alien but not unpleasant feeling, to put somebody else's needs before his own, but Hisoka didn't fool himself – she was the only person he would ever do that for.

Aada turned around in her sleep, her back now against his chest. Her hand looked for his, as if on autopilot. As her much smaller fingers laced with his, Hisoka closed his eyes, slowly recognizing the feeling that washed over him. He still thought happiness was fighting a strong opponent and the adrenaline rush it provided, but now he understood that his desire to challenge death and caring about Aada were not mutually exclusive. She was the only person who knew and understood him and wanted him not despite, but for what he was. As he let himself get lost in the familiar dry, resinous scent, now made warmer by the heat of the body pressed against his, Hisoka remembered a similar situation in what felt like a lifetime ago, when he'd asked himself if being with her like that was happiness too.

It was.

* * *

Hisoka lay awake, listening to the sound of rain hitting the windowsill. Aada was sleeping next to him, her head on his shoulder, arm slung comfortably across his chest. They were at the clinic now, having come back about two weeks before. For the first few nights Aada would sometimes wake up terrified, convinced he'd died and that him coming back was just a figment of her imagination, but fortunately the nightmares were becoming scarce now. Hisoka traced Aada's shoulder carefully with his fingers, not wanting to wake her, enjoying the skin on skin contact. He knew he would likely leave soon – he loved being with her, a part of him changed, but he was still the same person; recently he started to feel a very familiar kind of hunger – the need to challenge his abilities.

Hisoka didn't want to leave without telling Aada everything, just like he promised. He hadn't yet, and she didn't push. He looked at the woman next to him, his golden eyes sweeping over her silhouette in the darkness of the room. He still felt some hesitation, but at the same time keeping secrets from her didn't sit well with him. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to relax, but sleep was eluding him. The small hand on his chest moved in a slow caress.

"You are thinking so loud you woke me up." came a soft whisper in his ear.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, you know that." Aada's quiet voice made his body tense. It surprised him how often she knew immediately what he was thinking about. At first he wanted to deny what she said, but before he could speak, Aada put a finger on his lips.

"Shhhh… Let me finish." She said. "It's not only what happened at the Arena. You want to go, don't you? You're worried how I'll react. Did you honestly think I wouldn't notice?

"What I want you to know…" she paused before continuing, "I understand what it is you feel you need to do, and I won't try to stop you. Just be safe. I… I don't think I'm strong enough to go through that again."

Hisoka ran his hand up and down Aada's spine absentmindedly, his body slowly relaxing. It continued to amaze him, the level of acceptance she showed him. He knew her well enough to know she must have been worried, and most of all curious, but she was willing to let it go. He wondered if the reason behind his hesitation was that he wanted to reveal something that would showcase his strength, when the truth was much different. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Little pine…" he said, "I want to tell you what happened."

Aada shook her head.

"It's okay. You are here, with me. It's all that matters."

"No. You deserve to know." said Hisoka quietly. "I knew I was going to die, back then. In that brief moment, before the explosion, I fully understood fighting Chrollo at the Arena was not a sensible option. It was playing into his strengths, he had all the time to strategize. I think I had known it even before, but I felt I had no choice."

"It's my fault." Whispered Aada, "It's all my fault. I should never have trusted him."

"No, it's not your fault." He replied immediately, "It's his, and mine. Do you understand, little pine?"

Aada hid her face in the crook of his neck, still feeling guilty.

"I didn't want to die, so I felt I needed to try something. I wasn't sure it would work." Continued Hisoka. "I tried my last resort. I spoke to my nen."

Aada gasped in surprise.

"Is that even possible?"

"I wasn't sure." Admitted Hisoka, "But I had to try. I've heard stories of how sometimes nen becomes stronger after death; even Chrollo said it himself when he told me how he stole the Sun and Moon. I told my nen to surround my heart and lungs, to protect them from the blast. And when I die, to come back, expand and contract."

Aada raised her head and looked at him in the dark, barely able to discern his features, unsure she heard correctly.

"Yes, little pine." Hisoka smiled. "I have learned quite a bit from you."

"I was lucky." He admitted, "Not only did my nen obey me, but when it brought me back, the noise, and most of all, the outburst of nen from Leorio, Kurapika, Killua and Gon helped me mask my presence almost immediately. You know the rest.

"Ah…" he sighed, "Now you know. It wasn't me being strong, it was me being lucky."

"You're wrong." Aada put her arms around his neck and touched his forehead with hers. "I don't know anybody else who would be strong enough to do this. To stay calm, until the end, and dare to attempt something like that.

"Hi-so-ka…" she kissed his cheek and looked at him seriously, wishing she could see his face better in the dark, "If it had been anybody else, they would have failed. I know this. And… I am so grateful you tried.

"I tried so hard, and failed myself." She admitted, a somber note in her voice. "I don't even know how to express how it felt. It felt so very empty when I realized you were gone. I feared this emptiness would swallow me whole, but then I wanted it to; when I lost people I loved in the past, I bent under pressure and bounced back, but the loss of you... it broke me. I wasn't strong enough to bring you back."

"Mhmmm… this is where you are wrong, little pine."

Aada's brows furrowed as she waited for him to explain. Hisoka rubbed his cheek against hers, amazed at how easy it has become for him - to care, and show it. He wondered briefly what words to choose to make her understand, before he spoke.

"You were my last thought."

Aada's lips parted slightly as she let the words sink in. She blinked, and a few stray tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. She then held him close, with all the strength she could muster.

"Ah, little pine…" Hisoka's voice sounded amused, "You'll strangle me. I'd rather not die again."

"Shut up, Hi-so-ka…" replied Aada, putting her head on his chest, her body relaxing.

"Never." he replied, smiling, and gathered her close.

"Mine." he added.

"Ah…." Aada's hand traveled lower. "Shouldn't you make sure I remember that while you're away? What if I forget?"

Hisoka knew she was riling him up on purpose, but couldn't help a sudden surge of possessiveness.

"Don't provoke me, little pine." he said, trying to maintain control over himself.

Aada bit his earlobe.

"I'm not made of glass, Hi-so-ka." she whispered. "Now make sure I remember."

Hisoka flipped them over, covering her body with his. He kissed her and Aada bit his lip hard as their bodies joined; at first both of them moved too fast, too intense, almost desperate, as if knowing they didn't have much time left together. Aada wrapped her legs over Hisoka's shoulders and gripped the headboard. He held onto her thighs and bents them towards her, trying to push their connection to the limits, to bury himself in her as deep as he could.

"You are… ah… mine." said Hisoka between ragged breaths, "I'll never let you forget."

He was surprised when one of Aada's hands shot forward, closing around his throat, the pressure only adding to the pleasure he was already feeling and making him moan.

"And you are mine." She replied, and then grabbed both of his arms as they kept their frantic, deep rhythm. "Nobody else's. Only mine."

In the past Aada staking her claim over him would stoke possessiveness, but this time it was different – it only served to further fuel the need, the almost wild want he'd never felt towards anyone before. Surprisingly, almost immediately it also made him feel something warmer, calmer, deeper. He slowed down and Aada understood without words; she wrapped her legs around him to pull him closer, one of her hands on his cheek, both enjoying the sudden change from possessiveness to tenderness.

"I'll remember." Hisoka managed to whisper in her ear as he leaned towards her and Aada's body arched beneath his. It didn't take long for him to follow and he flipped them over again, dragging Aada on top of him.

"You better." she replied teasingly.

"Why would you doubt me, little pine?" Hisoka asked when his breathing calmed down, "You wound me."

Aada pinched him.

"You're insufferable." She mumbled as she gradually slipped back into a warm, safe depth of sleep. Hisoka's eyes closed, as sleep slowly overwhelmed him too, his lips moving in a few unspoken words that he admitted only to himself, and the dark.

* * *

Hisoka and Aada stood on the road leading to the clinic. Hisoka knew he wanted to go, but hesitated to take the first step, not used to saying goodbye to someone he knew he'd miss. Aada licked her lips nervously.

"You should go now…" she said, "I hate goodbyes."

He nodded and gathered her close, breathing in, committing her scent to memory. She pushed him back slightly, looking up at him, his arms still around her waist.

"Don't look so sad." Aada's voice held a hint of amusement in an attempt to lift both their spirits. "It's only the first of many times we will part like this."

Hisoka's head tilted slightly to the right as he waited for her next words.

"I know that in future, you will leave many times, to pursue the ones you deem worthy of testing yourself against." Explained Aada.

Hisoka shook his head.

"Maybe I don't have to."

Aada bit his shoulder lightly.

"Liar." she said, "It's who you are."

"Who I am…" said Hisoka pensively, "You've seen the full extent of who I am, haven't you? And you…"

"Silence." Aada placed her fingers on his mouth. "You are mine. Good things, and less obvious ones… Everything that makes you who you are is mine."

Hisoka's arms wrapped around her tighter, making it difficult to breathe.

"I will always be back." He said eventually, his voice surprisingly serious.

Aada smiled.

"I know." she whispered, "And I'll be here every time that you do."

"One more thing…" she looked up at him as she reached to undo the chain on her neck.

"No," he said, knowing how much the pendant meant to her. "I can't take it."

Aada smiled.

"Who else I'd give it to?"

Hisoka opened his mouth to protest, but was quickly silenced by Aada's fingers on his lips again.

"My universe has shrunk down considerably, Hi-so-ka… And I like it this way." she said as she clasped the chain around his neck instead, taking his hand and placing it over the black, molten rock. The magician looked back at her, his gaze uncharacteristically soft.

"So has mine, little pine."

Aada stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck. She kissed him and pulled on his lip with her teeth as she was moving away.

"Be safe, my magician." She whispered.

Hisoka nodded. "I will be. And so will you."

"Of course. I'll be with Leorio, Kurapika and the boys."

Hisoka smiled to himself. He gathered her closer one last time, before turning around. As he was leaving, Aada remained rooted in her spot, looking in the distance long after he disappeared from her sight.

* * *

Aada sat in her office, engrossed in a book, trying to take her mind off Hisoka. It's only been a few hours, and she already missed him way too much. It was slowly getting dark and she felt a cold shiver when a gust of wind reached her through the open window. She got up and closed it, and then turned around to go back to her desk, only to walk straight into a tall figure. She jumped back and screamed. Almost immediately, she heard the door smash against the wall as Gon, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio ran into the room and then froze in place, seeing who the intruder was.

"Brother?!" Killua, though shocked, managed to speak first. "What are you doing here?!"

"I am not coming back home!" he added immediately.

Illumi's face remained impassive.

"Hello, Kil." He said. "I'm not here for you."

Aada understood immediately.

"Hisoka asked you to come."

Illumi nodded.

"Correct. My contract states I am to keep you safe until he returns.

"He must value you highly." He added matter-of-factly. "My services are rather costly."

Leorio huffed.

"I'm offended he doesn't trust us." he said.

Seeing Killua's terrified face, Aada fought to suppress a smile. This could prove to be fun.

"Come then." she motioned Illumi to follow her. "Keep me safe while I make us some tea."

The assassin nodded.

"That would be agreeable."

Morning and evening tea had quickly become a ritual they shared, one that Aada enjoyed. Illumi never started conversations with her, but when she'd ask him something, he'd answer, probably because he considered it part of his duties. She got used to his presence surprisingly quickly, though the same could not be said for most of the Northshore hospital staff. Whenever she left for work, the assassin refused to stay behind, which prompted a crash course in how to properly prepare oneself for a surgery – Illumi would hover even in the OR. None dared to protest, not even Dr. Eizan, which Aada found particularly amusing.

"You're rather skilled." Illumi said once as he was observing her work, and it was the first time he spoke without her prompting him to.

Killua didn't take kindly to his brother's constant presence, and was quite vocal about it. Their fights looked rather one sided – the younger Zoldyck yelling at the older one, who mostly stood there waiting for it to be over. Aada was patient, but eventually snapped.

"Stop yelling." she chastised Killua. "He didn't do anything to warrant it, at least not this time."

Killua pouted.

"You shouldn't take his side, Aada." he said, "He will never appreciate it. Besides, nobody wants or likes him here."

"Oh, but that's simply not true." Aada smiled and flicked Killua on the nose affectionately. "I happen to like Illumi quite a lot."

Killua's eyes widened; he looked mortified.

"You're joking." he said faintly.

"Nah." Aada winked at Illumi. "He's my twin brother, after all."

The assassin's face remained expressionless as always, though his head cocked to one side. Aada patted him on the shoulder as she was passing him by, and he followed her as she left the room, leaving a fuming Killua behind.

She led Illumi to the kitchen and set to prepare the evening tea for both of them, only to be surprised when he took the pot from her and set on to prepare their drinks himself.

Aada observed him, slightly amused. Illumi waited for the water to boil, ignoring her, and then poured it over the leaves in the pot. Eventually, he looked up at her.

"We're not friends." was all he said, and Aada fought to suppress a smile.

"I'd never dare to make such a suggestion." she replied.

Now, about two weeks later, there was another thing Aada appreciated - with his vast network of contacts, Illumi kept tabs on Hisoka. Since he was still here, it meant Hisoka was safe. Aada liked spending time with Leorio and Illumi even more after Gon and Killua eventually left to pursue new adventures and Kurapika left temporarily to tend to Nostrade business. She smiled, thinking of the two boys, wondering where they were now, hoping they were safe. She missed them.

Aada sighed contentedly, closed her book and put it in her lap. She stretched to make herself even more comfortable on the couch, enjoying the warm afterglow of the late afternoon. The battered piece of furniture on the porch currently hosted three individuals; Aada glanced to her right - Leorio was napping; to her left, Illumi was reading, his brow furrowing as the afternoon sunlight was slowly giving way to early evening, making it more difficult for him to see the print.

Aada smiled, thinking back to how fond of the stoic assassin she'd become and how different he was from Hisoka: where the magician was expressive, loud and outspoken, Illumi was mostly expressionless and silent. At first she found his constant presence awkward, but in time she noticed it had become oddly comforting.

She looked at the road leading to the house and suddenly froze. Illumi sensed it and raised his head, looking in the same direction Aada was. Aada looked at him, silently pleading for him to confirm what she hoped she was seeing. He simply nodded and went back to reading.

As soon as he did, Aada stood up abruptly, the book, now forgotten, falling to the ground. She walked down the porch steps unhurriedly, still looking at the road, but then started running, as fast as she could. The man approaching the house stopped in his tracks, his tall frame casting a long shadow in the last rays of the sun. Aada ran, and didn't stop when she reached him – she jumped into his open arms, wrapped her legs around his hips and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

Hisoka smiled, his long arms holding her close as he inhaled deeply, the familiar scent enveloping him. When she told him once that scents could be associated with memories, feelings, that they could comfort you, ground you, she was right. The magician tilted his head, resting his cheek on top of Aada's head, letting the scent fill him. Pine resin and needles. Moss. Damp leaves.

Home.

 _ **The End.**_

 _ **A/N:**_ _And so the story ends..._ _I have to admit it feels a little strange to have finished writing it; after all, it's been almost two years._

 _I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading, for all the reviews, favourites and follows, and private messages – they were all highly appreciated and kept me going, making me think what I wrote wasn't so bad. All the best!_


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